Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Holy cow, someone posted a link to this video in a comment and you just have to see it. It’s Kirk Cameron and Ray Comfort “debunking” evolution in the most hilariously ridiculous thing you may have ever seen. Funniest of all is that they start it out by saying that they’re going to be interviewing people about evolution and you’re supposed to notice how they use words like “possibly” and “we think” and then finally “I’m not an expert”. Why is that funny? Because the people they’re interviewing aren’t experts, they’re just random people they found somewhere, most of whom are as ignorant of evolution as the hosts. But apparently it’s suspicious that random people who know nothing about evolution don’t speak with the certainty of experts or claim to be experts. Well that proves it, I’m convinced. This is a bit like going to an art school and asking them how the internal combustion engine works, edit it down to all the responses where people say things about it based on ignorance, and then saying, “See, it should be obvious that the internal combustion engine is impossible.” 100% pure idiocy.

There are lots of outright lies in the video as well. For instance, they say of Lucy that “nearly all experts agree that Lucy was just the skeleton of a 3 foot tall chimpanzee.” Really? I’d love for them to find just one expert – by which I mean an actual paleo-anthropologist – who claims that Lucy was just a 3 foot tall chimpanzee. They say Neanderthal man was a creature “whose famous skeleton found in France over 50 years ago was that of an old man who suffered from arthritis.” Yes, these people are in fact clueless enough to believe that there is only one fossil of Homo neanderthalensis; in fact, there are dozens of them. I’ll give this video 850 milli-Hovinds on the creationist stupidity scale.

Comments

  1. #1 Sean Foley
    April 18, 2006

    Well, I have to admit that I’ve never heard common descent disputed on the grounds that airlines won’t sell tickets to orangutans before.

  2. #2 Dave S.
    April 18, 2006

    What I want to know is…what airline provides parachutes in case you have to jump at 25,000 feet?

  3. #3 BigDumbChimp
    April 18, 2006

    I saw this video a week or so back on the Atheistjew’s blog and had to sit dumbfounded for a while. Then I watched a few Hovind’s and I really couldn’t decided which was worse. The sheer stupidity of Cameron’s video or bleeding from the ears that listening to Hovind causes.

  4. #4 BigDumbChimp
    April 18, 2006

    preview is a good thing.

    excuse the typos

  5. #5 afarensis
    April 18, 2006

    I was watching Rise of Man on the Science Channel. They interviewed French paleoanthropologist Ives Coppens and he said there were at least 400 neanderthal specimens which sounds about right…

  6. #6 Tara
    April 18, 2006

    I can’t get the movie to load…is it the same one that has the argument from banana?

  7. #7 tonyl
    April 18, 2006

    For instance, they say of Lucy that “nearly all experts agree that Lucy was just the skeleton of a 3 foot tall chimpanzee.” Really?

    Isn’t that straight from the Jack Chick Tract “Big Daddy”?

  8. #8 Sean Foley
    April 18, 2006

    Isn’t that straight from the Jack Chick Tract “Big Daddy”?

    Yup. As are the statements about “Hesperopithecus” and Piltdown.

  9. #9 Dave S.
    April 18, 2006

    No Tara. It’s the same 2 guys and the production style is similar, but this one is even more inane, if that is possible. They basically interview a bunch of people even more clueless than themselves. The hilarious Twilight Zone take-off in the opening is especially risable.

    Try THIS LINK.

  10. #10 Imnimo
    April 18, 2006

    “When you learn to speak to a person’s conscience, and circumnavigate the intellect, the subject of evolution seems to disappear”

    Wait…which side are they supposed to be on again?

  11. #11 WJD
    April 18, 2006

    For anyone who hasn’t watched this video yet, I strongly advise taking some aspirin before viewing.

    Not only does my head hurt now, but I think watching that actually killed off some brain cells.

    I think what they have there is quite an achievement; I don’t think I’ve EVER seen anything so stupid.

  12. #12 Matthew
    April 18, 2006

    haha, I loved the completely irrelevant segment where Kirk and the orangutan do facial expressions.

  13. #13 nicole
    April 18, 2006

    Wow. I’m absolutely floored. I feel almost responsible for this, all those childhood years of watching Growing Pains. I mean, do you know how uninformed the average man on the street is about anything? I bet if I picked the first ten people I saw, none of them could derive modus tollens for me, but I’m sure they all use it every day.

    The original poster was right about breaking your computer watching this one…

  14. #14 Inoculated Mind
    April 18, 2006

    If this is the one that I think it is, it is really stupid. I remember them talking about bananas, asserting that because of the shape, peel-ability, and seedlessness of bananas, that they had to have been designed by an intelligent designer. WELL DUH! Humans bred bananas from their gross, seedy, tiny ancestors into something that it easy for us to eat. Creationism isn’t just about to deny the facts we’ve learned through anthropology, neurology, and zoology, they’re out to deny facts about botany and humanity’s legacy of directed evolution during crop domestication!
    I guess Kirk is growing up to be a pain.
    “Milli-Hovinds!” Brilliant!

  15. #15 Leni
    April 18, 2006

    Wow.

    I’m half-tempted to send an email to Kirk’s publicist begging him to get the idiot some real work.

  16. #16 Pablo
    April 18, 2006

    I’m deeply offended that Kirk Cameron thinks archaeologists dig up dinosaurs.

  17. #17 wheatdogg
    April 18, 2006

    haha, I loved the completely irrelevant segment where Kirk and the orangutan do facial expressions.

    Which did the better job? Or to put it a different way, could the orangutan have done Kirk’s job?

  18. #18 Troy Britain
    April 18, 2006

    Ye-fucking-gods that was bad.

    They said they have a book with quotes from Charles Darwin, Stephen Jay Gould and William Huxley? Huh, who the hell is William Huxley? I know of a Thomas Huxley, I know of Julian, and even Aldous Huxley, but I’ve never heard of this William guy.

    Then there was the Arthur Keith quote they gave which is bogus (see Quote #81 in the Talk.Origins Archive Quote Mine Project).

    But when it comes down to it, how can we possibly argue with the “orangutans lack table manners” evidence against humans and apes being related?

    Lost! All is lost!

    Damn that was bad…

  19. #19 Ken Brown
    April 18, 2006

    Wow, I couldn’t even get through it. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but this is the guy who starred in Left Behind….

  20. #20 blogista
    April 18, 2006

    “They interviewed French paleoanthropologist Ives Coppens and he said there were at least 400 neanderthal specimens”

    No, no, no. That was 400 men with arthritis.

  21. #21 blogista
    April 18, 2006

    Oh, and the video… I tried, I promise, I tried. Got maybe halfway through it. I skipped to near the end, and still couldn’t finish it. What a colossal waste of time.

  22. #22 Gerry L
    April 19, 2006

    I had to give up after just 5 minutes. I couldn’t bear the idea of losing 25 more minutes of my life to that drek.

    At the very beginning they kick off with the ridiculous assertion that true believers (i.e., people who accept evolution) use phrases like “I don’t know,” “I’m not an expert” and “maybe.” No. no, no. True believers (i.e., creationists) insist that they — and they alone — know the truth. Only true believers have the confidence of ignorance.

  23. #23 Ben
    April 19, 2006

    Jimmy Kimmel showed the banana part on his show a while back, calling it the most homoerotic thing he’d ever seen.

  24. #24 dogmeatIB
    April 19, 2006

    That was one of the dumbest things I think I’ve ever seen on the ‘net. Their comparisons and logical leaps were painful to observe. I noticed two key elements. First, when Kirk and the orangutan lined up against the wall about 8:45 into the “video,” I’m pretty sure they got the evolutionary sequence backward, the orang’ has to be the higher species on THAT wall. Second, when they take the “monkey” out to dinner, I firmly believe, that the orang’ proved that he was the smartest one at that table.

    Also, the biplane/747 comparison was moronic. If they were living things, and produced offspring, you could argue that over time they did evolve. The creation argument only works if, in 1903, GOD suddenly created all aircraft great and small. LET THERE BY FLIGHT! Hey, that sounds familiar …

  25. #25 Patsy Theroff
    August 25, 2006

    Kirk Cameron is a really really good actor on Growing Pains, & on those Left Behind movies okay.

  26. #26 Somebody
    January 20, 2007

    IF there are over 400 neanderthals then how come only one is used? I won’t say biased things about atheists if you don’t say biased things about Christians. I am tired of Atheists saying that christians are the only ones that are closed-minded. I don’t care if you agree with me or not, I just ask that you give christians a small measure of respect.

  27. #27 Ed Brayton
    January 20, 2007

    Somebody wrote:

    IF there are over 400 neanderthals then how come only one is used? I won’t say biased things about atheists if you don’t say biased things about Christians. I am tired of Atheists saying that christians are the only ones that are closed-minded. I don’t care if you agree with me or not, I just ask that you give christians a small measure of respect.

    I give individuals respect, not groups. And individuals who ask stupid questions like the one you just asked don’t deserve respect. Only one neanderthal used? Used for what, for crying out loud? Every specimen in existence is “used” in the only sense that any specimen is used, for research.