Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Penis Pump Judge Convicted

The Oklahoma judge on trial for using a penis pump under his desk during trials was convicted of indecent exposure by a jury today. Several thoughts come to mind.

A. This gives a whole new meaning to “penal code”.
B. I can’t wait for the release of “Judges Gone Wild”, taped at Mardi Gras.
C. If this guy threatened to throw the book at a defendant, it was probably the Kama Sutra.
D. If the universe had a sense of humor, this case would have ended in a hung jury.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week. Try the veal. And don’t forget to tip your waitresses.


  1. #1 CaptainMike
    June 30, 2006

    I don’t have much spare time myself but, geez louise, do that sort of thing at home. Didn’t he realize that it was that exact thing that made Justice go blind?

  2. #2 Treban
    June 30, 2006

    Makes me just wonder how often this sort of thing goes on. I mean, it stands to reason that it has and does happen with other judges, maybe not a penis pump, but one has to wonder. . .

  3. #3 Pokerwolf
    June 30, 2006

    You missed one, Ed.

    I bet the judge was pretty pressured to get a definitive ruling on this case. 😉

  4. #4 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    June 30, 2006

    It’s too bad he can’t be the judge in any case against Rush.

  5. #5 VoiceOfGrog
    June 30, 2006

    At least he “enjoyed” his work. I’m sure it won’t be long before Judges are required to keep their hands on the bench at all times. Or, they’ll have to wear something other than robes.

    Now, you know if all guys wore robes to work this wouldn’t be an isolated incident, it would be a workplace epidemic.

  6. #6 flatlander100
    June 30, 2006


    Shouldn’t your sign off line have been “and don’t stiff your waitress.”

    Sorry. Couldn’t resist….

  7. #7 DOF
    June 30, 2006

    … a pillar of society!

  8. #8 plunge
    June 30, 2006

    Silly question, but why was it indecent exposure if it was hidden?

  9. #9 pough
    June 30, 2006

    Silly question, but why was it indecent exposure if it was hidden?

    Hard (ha!) to keep it hidden when it keeps getting bigger, I guess:

    Thompson’s former court reporter, Lisa Foster, testified that she traced an unfamiliar “sh-sh” in the courtroom to her boss. She testified that she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times.

    There must be some kind of “activist judge” joke in there, somewhere…. No? Oh, well.

  10. #10 Phillip J. Birmingham
    June 30, 2006

    Obviously he didn’t know that the saying is about the long arm of the law.

  11. #11 Ereshkigal
    July 1, 2006

    At least he wasn’t banging his gavel.

  12. #12 beervolcano
    July 2, 2006

    I don’t understand how he could get convicted of indecent exposure. Did he actually expose himself since he was covered by robes and his bench? Did someone have to actually try to see what he was doing? I’m not condoning what he did, but I don’t see how it was against the law.

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