Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Good ol’ Gribbit At It Again

Posted by Ed Brayton on September 14, 2006
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I know, it’s not really sound sport to agitate someone this stupid, but I guess I’m just feeding my inner sadist. Here’s his latest bit of nonsense, wherein he makes claims that are either false or completely unknowable about the NSA wiretapping program. He is reacting to an ACLU spokeswoman for speaking out against an attempt in Congress to rubber stamp the NSA programs without any further oversight. First, the false claim:

First off, the idea that this is wiretapping is ignorance. The NSA program is a data mining program. They are capturing electronic signals being transmitted from inside the United States to foreign lands or from foreign soil to the United States.

That’s funny. The NSA emphatically says it’s not a data mining program. In fact, they’ve told members of the Senate Intelligence Committee to tell us all that it’s not a data mining program as part of the administration’s approved talking points:

The Program is not “data mining”; it targets only international communications closely connected to Al Qa’ida or an affiliated group.

Next, the unknowable claim:

Next, the data being collected is that of who is being called, the length of the call, which other numbers that party is calling and so forth. This is called data mining.

Not only could Gribbit not know that this is all they’re collecting, only someone as stupid as him could possibly believe it. Does he really think they’re not recording the content of the calls? If not, they’re fools and they’re wasting their time. Remember, the issue here is not whether the government should be surveilling suspected terrorists; everyone agrees that they should, including the ACLU. The issue is whether they will do so with constitutional safeguards in place to prevent abuses or not. As long as they go through the normal FISA process and get a warrant, I damn sure want them to gather not only who someone calls but they better also record the conversation or they’re wasting our tax dollars.

Then he goes completely off the deep end:

It is nothing more than what is being done each and every time you search for an item over then internet. Information is being collected which is then used to send you offers via email.

I’ll give you a minute to stop laughing after reading that. Gribbit, Gribbit, Gribbit….is it really possible that you’re this freaking dumb? It hardly seems like you could be, but this is pretty compelling evidence. I’m sure that’s exactly what the program is. The NSA is going to send them offers to enlarge their penises and get them a college degree based on their life experience. And lower their mortgage rates.

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Comments

  1. #1 Matthew Young
    September 14, 2006

    I salute you Ed, your Retard Radar is a finely tuned instrument indeed!

  2. #2 mah9
    September 14, 2006

    If I get a mortgage from the NSA do I get a free Black Helicopter?

  3. #3 Treban
    September 14, 2006

    I think this is an example of someone not getting their current talking points right. The whole data mining paradigm was months ago – I think they realized that it wasn’t cutting it so the white house changed the memo – Gribbit apparently wasn’t informed.

  4. #4 bourgeois_rage
    September 14, 2006

    I guess this means that Gribbit does a lot of searches for “penis enlargement” and “low interest rates”, not to mention “sons of recently deceased rich Nigerian generals.” Otherwise he would know that people get spam about things that they have never searched for.

  5. #5 kemibe
    September 14, 2006

    I like it when a guy who comes up with the stuff Gribbit does — reckless speculation regarding the ACLU’s motives and mindset, freely calls other “mental midgets” and “candidates for frontal lobotomies.” Then again, Keith Olbermann wouldn’t have his present career if it weren’t for the number of people as dumb and gullible as Gribbit, who are simply not nimble enough thinkers to perceive any grey areas; just as they declare a failure to grant special privileges to Christians a “war on Christmas,” they categorize a failure to align oneself 100% with the Bush administration’s activities as terrorist support. We all have different political opinions, but these folks are as deluded in many ways as any schizophrenic or LSD connoisseur, and they bring their delusions with them to voting booths.

    Oh well. If Billy-Bob doesn’t get his Old Milwaukee-and-Ripple tonight I’m not going to lose any sleep over it.

  6. #6 Ginger Yellow
    September 14, 2006

    Gribbit:”What makes this illegal? Because they say so?”

    Well, FISA says so too. And a federal judge. But other than that, nothing at all.

  7. #7 dogmeatIB
    September 15, 2006

    I find it hard to believe that Gribbit is even able to turn on a computer let alone make posts this moronic. To think that they would simply jot down the number and what time they called? So the ACLU is ticked off because the NSA is operating as Bin Laden’s answering service?

    To think that this appeared to be logical and concise description of what they’re doing to Gribbit makes you wonder if he gets arrested for public indecency whenever he tries to count to 21.