From the “cops that have nothing better to do with their time” department comes this story from Hillsborough County, Florida. The Sheriff’s department launched a major investigation into allegations that strippers in the area were getting too close to customers during lap dances. $6000 and 92 lapdances later, they concluded that, sure enough, they were getting too close. This won Keith Olbermann’s Worst Person in the World award on Tuesday. As always, I am reminded of Doug Stanhope’s statement about vice cops: their only job is to fuck up the party.