Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Another Sign of the Apocalypse

Ew. Just ew.

He may have played nerdy eighth-grader Samuel (Screech) Powers in the sitcom “Saved by the Bell.” But former TV geek Dustin Diamond can now take his place with Colin Farrell, Tommy Lee and Kid Rock as the star of his very own sex tape.

Everyone who remembers Diamond as a lovable putz is in for a shock once they see a 40-minute video in which he engages in a kinky three-way with two women, sources tell us.

We can’t get too graphic here, but word is that the action includes some bodily functions and an act known as a “Dirty Sanchez.”

How pathetic do you have to be as a groupie when you think that screwing Screech is a good idea?


  1. #1 SteveF
    September 28, 2006

    This I gotta see!

  2. #2 Glenn
    September 28, 2006

    This I gotta see!

    Steve, you are a bolder man than I. And possessing a sicker sense of humor (if that’s possible).

  3. #3 Jon Rowe
    September 28, 2006

    If a “Dirty Sanchez” is what my friend told me it was a while back…man, that’s really gross.

  4. #4 jba
    September 28, 2006

    Who thought it was a good idea to have Screech and a dirty sanchez in the same sentence, let alone movie? Who green-lighted THAT proposal? Gah! I feel dirty just reading about it… and not in a good way either.

  5. #5 jason
    September 28, 2006

    That’s disturbing on so many levels. I share jba’s sentiment: I feel unclean. I’ll have to bleach my mind to get that visual out of my head.

  6. #6 llDayo
    September 28, 2006

    I guess when you’re not very talented and what little you’re known for has fallen by the wayside your best bet is to get a sex tape released into the public forum. This will get his name out and all of a sudden we’ll have to see Diamond’s name in the spotlight, whether we want to or not (think Paris Hilton). This seems to be the new publicity stunt format. The “Dirty Sanchez” may just have been included to make this one different from the others.

  7. #7 somnilista, FCD
    September 28, 2006

    Another sign of the coming apocalypse: Locust plague encircles Cancun

  8. #8 Inoculated Mind
    September 28, 2006

    I’d like to invoke the Argument from Evil on this one. Any apolcalypse must therefore be of our own making.

  9. #9 Jim Ramsey
    September 28, 2006

    Ew, indeed.

    I used google and searched for define “Dirty Sanchez”

    I’m sorry I did.

    I never considered content filtering for my own internet access before. Maybe I will now.

  10. #10 c.tower
    September 28, 2006

    Frankly, if I was the Sanchez family, I’d sue.

  11. #11 raj
    September 28, 2006

    Two points.

    One, his character on Saved by the Bell had a name more than “Screech”?

    Two, it is well known among us gay bois that milquetoasts such as Screech are among the best endowed 😉

    Dusty–er, Dustin–should be hawking the video for all he can.

  12. #12 Grumpy
    September 28, 2006

    “I used google and searched for define Dirty Sanchez.
    I’m sorry I did.”

    The term was a mystery to me until Andy Dick explained all in The Aristocrats. Anybody up for a Rusty Trombone??

  13. #13 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    September 29, 2006

    Screech was on Howard Stern a month or so back and there was discussion of his…um…”little buddy”. Apparently the Intelligent Designer had this type of work in mind for him.

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