Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Hovind’s Motions to Dismiss

Kent Hovind’s attorney has filed motions to dismiss all of the counts against him. Counts 1-12 and 58 (12 counts of failing to pay FICA and withhold income taxes on employees and one count of threatening a Federal agent) are discussed in this motion, while counts 13-57 (46 counts of “structuring”) are discussed in this motion. But here’s my favorite part of his article discussing the charges:

I can only guess what God allowed this for but here are some of the options we have thought of so far: God is testing us like Job. God is punishing us for sin. God was testing other Christian leaders to see how they would react toward us. God is going to expose the evil in some of the lives of those opposing us. God wanted me to have more time to read and study. God is preparing us to be a better comfort to others.

Sounds pretty much like his seminar, throwing a bunch of crap at the wall and hoping some of it sticks. He missed the obvious one: this has nothing to do with God but only with the fact that you broke the law and now you’re being charged for doing so. And his defense boils down to this: “You didn’t tell us what we did wrong.”

Comments

  1. #1 Skip Evans
    September 28, 2006

    Note to Kent Hovind:

    God thinks you’re an asshole.

    Love,
    Skip

  2. #2 Kate
    September 28, 2006

    “God is preparing us to be a better comfort to others”

    I’m a little worried that he slipped into using the royal plural there… talking of yourself as more than one entity is never a good sign…

  3. #3 Michael Suttkus, II
    September 28, 2006

    As much as I have zilch respect for Kent the Dent, he’s justified using the first person plural. He and his wife are on the docket.

  4. #4 Kate
    September 28, 2006

    Thanks Michael, I stand corrected and retract my comments then (sure wish you could edit!). Good to see that he’s not as looney as he could have been… (i guess?)

  5. #5 mark
    September 28, 2006

    Why doesn’t he just declare that the IRS and taxes do not exist? He could put up a display at his museum that would prove his declaration. He can probably find some people who agree with him, some of whom might even have PhD’s.

  6. #6 KeithB
    September 28, 2006

    I think Mr. Hovind needs to read his Bible, slecifically I Peter chapter 2:

    13Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every authority instituted among men: whether to the king, as the supreme authority, 14or to governors, who are sent by him to punish those who do wrong and to commend those who do right. 15For it is God’s will that by doing good you should silence the ignorant talk of foolish men. 16Live as free men, but do not use your freedom as a cover-up for evil; live as servants of God. 17Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God, honor the king. …
    19For it is commendable if a man bears up under the pain of unjust suffering because he is conscious of God. 20But how is it to your credit if you receive a beating for doing wrong and endure it? But if you suffer for doing good and you endure it, this is commendable before God.

  7. #7 Ginger Yellow
    September 28, 2006

    I can only guess what God allowed this for but here are some of the options we have thought of so far: God is testing us like Job. God is punishing us for sin. God was testing other Christian leaders to see how they would react toward us. God is going to expose the evil in some of the lives of those opposing us. God wanted me to have more time to read and study. God is preparing us to be a better comfort to others.

    Alternatively: God doesn’t exist. God doesn’t care. God can’t do anything about it. God thinks it’s funny.

  8. #8 tacitus
    September 28, 2006

    I think Mr. Hovind needs to read his Bible…

    I think Mr. Hovind needs to be spending less time reading the Bible and more time dealing with reality.

    Quoting chapter and verse has no effect on these people. For every verse you sling at them, they counter with ten others that will place your verse in the “correct context”.

    The Bible is an infinitely flexible tool that can be used to justify any viewpoint along the political spectrum (and many others not even in it). Sometimes I find it amazing that we no longer have slavery in America, given the lack of condemnation in the Bible. I’m sure some Dominionists somewhere are looking forward to the day they can own a few.

  9. #9 Will
    September 28, 2006

    What a maroon.

  10. #10 Coin
    September 28, 2006

    I’m a little worried that he slipped into using the royal plural there…

    He could have been referring to himself and his wife. They’re both facing charges.

  11. #11 J-Dog
    September 28, 2006

    Ed – So when can we expect a ruling on his motions? How likely is it that the judge will roll over for him? When can we expect to start the Hovind Held Hostage watch on Fox?

  12. #12 somnilista, FCD
    September 28, 2006

    How likely is it that the judge will roll over for him?

    I’d put the probablility at right around 0.0.

  13. #13 Michael Hopkins
    September 28, 2006

    I have had dozens of lawyers and tax specialists look at our ministry and tell us that we are not breaking any laws and the three charges they brought against us are bogus…

    Let me guess, dozens of lawyers and tax specialists who are either hired by Hovind to say those things and/or fellow nuts who will say anything Hovind asks.

  14. #14 Kim
    September 28, 2006

    Hovid, God wants you to respect the authorities. Get it boy!

  15. #15 Dave M.
    September 29, 2006

    Hovind is also cheap. Notice this line at the bottom of each page in his .PDFs:

    “PDF created with pdfFactory trial version http://www.pdffactory.com

    Go to http://www.pdffactory.com and you’ll find that it only costs $49.95! Cheap, cheap, cheap!

  16. #16 Andrew
    September 29, 2006

    These motions are a confusing mismash of irrelevant cases and statutes. Even if true, this motion goes nowhere: it isn’t a *CONSTITUTIONAL* violation to fail to plead with specificity; it’s a drafting error. At MOST, Hovind would get a dismissal without prejudice and the government would simply re-file.

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