Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Funniest Comment Ever, Take 2

Whoever this Glen D is, he’s hilarious. Here’s his latest comment:

Ed,
Some of the few buffoons that offer their written support for your dim-witted writing are most likely you, yourself and your alter ego under various contrived names. Even though it is your site and you have that ability it is still called lying.
It is easy to ascertain that you hype your twisted little site with false and exaggerated viewer hits. Again, even though it is site related this is still called deception.
You may have a couple of academia associates but it is common knowledge there are those in academia land that are considered educated eggheads. Anyone connected to you would certainly qualify for that particular definition.
You lack the credentials, ability and life experiences to be the self-appointed verbal guru that you self-proclaim you are. Anyone that would be so easily fooled as to take anything you mutter seriously is to be considered mentally challenged… end of my argument. You may again release your phony wolf pack.
Glen

Okay, which one of you guys is really me? And don’t lie to me, because I am me and I’ll find out who you are.

Comments

  1. #1 Sparticus
    December 14, 2006

    I am Sparticus. I used to be Ed Brayton, but that was before I was Howard Hughes.

  2. #2 Raging Bee
    December 14, 2006

    Are you SURE you can find out who we/you are? How far down the rabbit-hole of your convoluted Hell-spawn psyche will you have to go to find whether we’re you? And will you like what you find on the way? MYOOHAHAHAHAHA…. (Wow, now this is sounding like a really stoopid movie with Robert DeNiro and Dakota Fanning…)

    Seriously, are you sure this Glen D. guy isn’t posting satire? On the other hand…he could be YOU!!!

  3. #3 afarensis
    December 14, 2006

    I’m Ed Brayton, I used to be Joshua Abraham Norton – Emperor of America -but decided it would be more fun to write this blog….

  4. #4 Ed Brayton
    December 14, 2006

    I don’t think Glen D is being satirical, I think he’s quite serious. Which, of course, makes it even funnier. And I’m reasonably sure he’s not me.

  5. #5 Raging Bee
    December 14, 2006

    Damn you and your (our?) phony wolf-pack, Ed, they’re (you’re?) howling at the Moon and keeping me (you?) up all night!

  6. #6 J-Dog
    December 14, 2006

    Yo, Glen D – I am SO NOT Ed! I think people that believe in religion – ANY religion, are nucking futs, and Ed does not. So go peddle your “wolf pack” theory to someone that cares, like Oliver Stone, or your Area 51 believer minions.

    Also, you may note that Ed is even-tempered, even with people he disagrees with, whereas I have no such inhibitions, and have no problem calling someone a dufus if they deserve it. Dufus. Hey Dufus Glen, do you think PZ and Ed are the same person too?
    HTH

  7. #7 Russell Miller
    December 14, 2006

    After spending a great deal of time on usenet, I’ve learned that the really unalanced people just cannot fathom the fact that some people they don’t agree with may have a lot of people who agree with them. So they make up the sockpuppet fallacy in order to make themselves feel better.

    So, let me abolish that stupid idea once and for all. I can prove that I am a separate person from Ed, and I agree with pretty much everything that Ed says (though I couldn’t care less about the poker). I live in Agoura Hills, CA. (I believe Ed lives in MI), and if you look at the registration info for my site above, you can find my address and phone number. If you do a google search for my name, you’ll find me plastered all over contributing to various open source projects.

    I AM NOT ED.

    Glen, please stop posting. There is a saying that people of your ilk need to take to heart: “It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought an idiot, then to open your mouth and prove it”.

    Of course, another lesson I’ve learned on usenet is that people like that are utterly impervious to reason. I hope you get tired of baiting him soon, Ed, and just start deleting his posts. He’s not worth it.

  8. #8 Dan
    December 14, 2006

    Busted. I knew you were me. Explains my love of barbecue.

    Now ‘fess up, Ed. Are you really Glen D? Don’t tell me — Worldnutdaily is on a Holiday (er…sorry, Christmas) hiatus and you’re in desperate need of some ranting, tinfoil-hat stuff to write about. Really, and you thought you could fool all of us, which of course isn’t possible because we’re all you.

  9. #9 phobos
    December 14, 2006

    Ed – you gotta stop calling yourself the “Verbal Guru”. And let’s all follow Glen’s advice and get some credentials without being associated with academics! (Liberty U. anyone?)

  10. #10 steven
    December 14, 2006

    Russell – I think the saying goes “Better to remain silent and thought a fool then to speak up and remove all doubt.” There are probably times when we could all take that advice.

  11. #11 Savagemutt
    December 14, 2006

    No way I could be you. I hate Duke.

  12. #12 llDayo
    December 14, 2006

    I think Ed is ACTUALLY Glen D. He’s trying to drum up support for his blog by pretending to be someone who’s bashing it. Fess up Ed!

    snicker

  13. #13 argystokes
    December 14, 2006

    OK, Ed, admit it. You’re really Glen D (this one), Glen D (of tinyurl.com/b8ykm fame), Gary Hurd, and Larry Fafarman.

  14. #14 John Horst
    December 14, 2006

    From time to time it is “refreshing” to hear what the religious right considers good, well-thought-out arguments against others’ viewpoints. There is almost nothing of substance in Glen D’s arguments–they are all ad hominem attacks (er, well, almost all). But, on the other hand, it may just be a bored troll who accidentally found this blog …

    Now, if you could only answer his 3 questions.

  15. #15 CCP
    December 14, 2006

    wait…if he’s not you, and we’re not him, nor you, and you’re not him, then…who are you again?

  16. #16 DougT
    December 14, 2006

    I’m sure that it’s no accident that I get Why can’t I be you? by The Cure stuck in my head every time I read your stuff.

  17. #17 Vic Vanity
    December 14, 2006

    who`s on first ????

  18. #18 Michael Suttkus, II
    December 14, 2006

    I can’t be a Ed Brayton sock puppet; I’m a Republican! Of course, probably not by Glen D’s definitions (I am, no doubt, a RINO).

    And if I don’t agree with everything Ed says, he’s well spoken, intelligent, and I’d support him over a theocrat any day of the week.

  19. #19 nj
    December 14, 2006

    I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together.

    Got that straight now, Glen?

  20. #20 David Durant
    December 14, 2006

    > I think Ed is ACTUALLY Glen D. He’s trying to drum up
    > support for his blog by pretending to be someone who’s
    > bashing it.

    Actually, that was my first thought too – except…

    1) Ed doesn’t have the time to waste on anything so juvenile.

    2) I don’t think Ed has the ability to write something that ridiculously inane even if he tried (go on, there’s a challenge) ;-)

    Lastly, you have to ask – if Glen (*wave*) has _such_ a low opinion of Ed then why the heck is he here…?

  21. #21 Project Mayhem
    December 14, 2006

    His name is Robert Paulson…
    His name is Robert Paulson…

  22. #22 John
    December 14, 2006

    I could never be Ed. Ed is usually tolerant of other’s lifestyles. But Ed would not associate with me; I am a vegetarian.

  23. #23 afarensis, FCD
    December 14, 2006

    And I’m reasonably sure he’s not me

    But not completely sure? Which implies there is at least a small doubt! Teach the controversy!

  24. #24 BobZ
    December 14, 2006

    Hi Ed,

    In the wise words of my 9-year-old son, “He who smelt it, dealt it”. Or if you want something on the more academic side of the scale, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

    Isn’t it odd that Carol GR and Glen D put up all those silly comments about you faking your readership on an old and cold Westfall post? Who would go and read an old post like that, except maybe a vain old toad googling to see who has quoted him lately? Maybe Carol GR and Glen D and Westfall are all the same person?

    Are you able to check the sources for those posts? Of course it’s easy to proxy so absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but smarter people have certainly forgotten to cover their tracks. Would you mind checking at bit? It would be so deliciously funny if I’m right.

  25. #25 NonyNony
    December 14, 2006

    I’m not Ed, but I may very well be an educated egghead from academia land. Weren’t they in one of the L. Frank Baum Wizard of Oz books? Like the Munchkins or the Winkies? I think Academia Land was somewhere to the north of Oz in those books.

  26. #26 MJ Memphis
    December 14, 2006

    Well, I know I’m not Ed. I like tofu.

  27. #27 jason
    December 14, 2006

    My/your/our friends will have to confirm this before it can be called certain, but I/you/we think I’m/you’re/we’re not Ed. Or something like that.

  28. #28 Pokerwolf
    December 14, 2006

    Ah, the internet. Where you can question someone else’s credentials without having to provide your own.

    You’d think that Glen would have something better to do. Like go to his latest brainwashing session where his leaders tell him that everyone who thinks differently from him is wrong.

  29. #29 Jason I.
    December 14, 2006

    While I do happen to live in Michigan, and I do not like tofu, I have not seen any proof that I am Ed. Unless of course I’m one of the voices in his head. Or he’s one of the voices in mine.

  30. #30 Raging Bee
    December 14, 2006

    Eddies in the space-time continuum?

  31. #31 G Barnett
    December 14, 2006

    Well, as far as any of me know, not a one of us is Ed. (I’m not!) (Me neither.) (HEAD DOWN, TADDUK!) (Dude, this is Ed’s blog, not D&D — that’s Saturday. Ed’s a poker sort.) (Um, oops?) (Right, now where were we? Ahh, yes. Nope, none of us are Ed.)

    Yep, that’s settled. For once, I actually agree with myself, too.

  32. #32 Squiddhartha
    December 14, 2006

    Five minutes with Google would’ve shown Glen D. that we all have identities distinct from Ed’s. But do we really expect him to pay attention to, you know, evidence? I ain’t holding my breath.

  33. #33 Ed Brayton
    December 14, 2006

    Dan wrote:

    Busted. I knew you were me. Explains my love of barbecue.

    Except people have actually witnessed you and I both together at the same place. Eating barbecue. And I’ve seen you talk while I was drinking a glass of water.

    Now ‘fess up, Ed. Are you really Glen D? Don’t tell me — Worldnutdaily is on a Holiday (er…sorry, Christmas) hiatus and you’re in desperate need of some ranting, tinfoil-hat stuff to write about. Really, and you thought you could fool all of us, which of course isn’t possible because we’re all you.

    If you were me, I wouldn’t have to fess up. You’d already know you were me, and that we are all Glen. He is the everyman.

  34. #34 David Durant
    December 14, 2006

    Thread hijack alert…

    While I remember can someone with more time than me get around to setting up a Wikipedia entry for Ed. I’ve been meaning to get around to it for ages…

  35. #35 Some call me David.
    December 14, 2006

    J-Dog (aka Ed), Russell (aka Ed), Michael (aka Ed), John (aka Ed), MJ (aka Ed),

    Don’t you see? You all in fact have the Ed-nature. You must meditate upon this until you are able to see it for yourself. I am sufficiently in tune with the Ed-nature that I can see your ignorance and guide you along the path.

    Of course, the question remains: Does a dog have the Ed-nature?

  36. #36 Melody
    December 14, 2006

    Will the real “educated egghead” please stand up?

  37. #37 Russell Miller
    December 14, 2006

    Some call me David:

    I don’t know. I don’t think I could pull off that grin if I tried.

    As to your question of a dog having the Ed-nature, I’m not so sure of that either. Is Ed-nature compatible with fetching sticks, begging for food at the table, and licking your own privates?

    You’ve given me much food for thought. I need to meditate on the Ed-nature.

  38. #38 Dan
    December 14, 2006

    Ed wrote:

    Except people have actually witnessed you and I both together at the same place. Eating barbecue. And I’ve seen you talk while I was drinking a glass of water.

    AHA!!! But did they actually see you and I together, or was it really just US pretending to be to different people??? Eating barbecue. And sure, you may have seen me talk while you were drinking a glass of water, but did I actually make any sense???

    See, you’re not half as clever as I think you think we think you are. Nice try.

  39. #39 Russell Miller
    December 14, 2006

    Dan:

    Perhaps Ed was in such tune with the Ed-nature that he namaged to project astrally a separate personality, which manifested as you. Maybe you are just a figment of the imagination of the all powerful Ed-being.

    All hail Ed.

  40. #40 Dan
    December 14, 2006

    Russell wrote:

    Is Ed-nature compatible with fetching sticks, begging for food at the table, and licking your own privates?

    I’ve seen Ed do the first two but happily, not the last.

  41. #41 Dexceus
    December 14, 2006

    “Will the real Ed Brayton please stand up….please stand up…” I’m sorry. I know it was horrible, but I had to.

  42. #42 Perry Willis
    December 14, 2006

    I think Ed is really Glen. Because the stuff Glen writes is so nuts it only makes sense as a put-on from Ed. Okay Ed, fess up. You are Glen.

  43. #43 Caliban
    December 14, 2006

    i don’t mean to rain on anybody’s parade, but i hope this recent outbreak of lunatic whackos posting here abates soon.

    It’s funny at first, but the reason i come here is to see what Ed has to say about things and read the usually intelligent comments from his readers.

    One of the reasons i read this blog everyday is because its a nice oasis from the moronic ravings i frequently encountered at other sites.

  44. #44 les
    December 14, 2006

    Can I be one of the few buffoons? I’m not sure I’m ready for full Ed-hood, but I can handle buffoon as, like, an alter-ego. Or maybe just an alter-id.

  45. #45 Ed Brayton
    December 14, 2006

    Russell Miller wrote:

    Perhaps Ed was in such tune with the Ed-nature that he namaged to project astrally a separate personality, which manifested as you. Maybe you are just a figment of the imagination of the all powerful Ed-being.

    The best part is that this figment of my imagination had to buy dinner when we ate barbecue because he’d lost a bet to me. Err, that means I lost a bet to myself. This is confusing.

  46. #46 stogoe
    December 14, 2006

    We’ve all just got the Ed-Force that’s omnipresent throughout the universe. It’s like the Green Lantern Corps, but less angst, more poker and more BBQ.

    Or maybe we’re like the Blue Beetle or Booster Gold. When one Ed Brayton dies another one dons the costume and takes the name. So we’re up to Ed Brayton VII now that we’re One Year Later…

  47. #47 kehrsam
    December 14, 2006

    Is Ed-nature compatible with fetching sticks, begging for food at the table, and licking your own privates?

    Tastes like…tofu. With a hint of salmon mousse.

  48. #48 dan
    December 14, 2006

    Glen D.- Why don’t you let me stop by your trailer park and I will prove to you that I am not Ed.

  49. #49 El Christador
    December 14, 2006

    If this were a Philip K. Dick story, it would turn out that we’re all Ed and he’s not aware of it, but then it starts to appear that Ed’s not even actually Ed…

  50. #50 John Pieret
    December 14, 2006

    In case you don’t know the usenet group talk.origins, it has long been known that all the posters there are Howard Hershey. It seem the Hershey Collective has escaped the bounds of usenet. You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile.

  51. #51 kehrsam
    December 14, 2006

    I wonder how Glen D would prove his existence to my satisfaction?

  52. #52 Dave S.
    December 14, 2006

    Ed…heads…Ed…heads…rolly polly Ed Heads….
    Ed…Heads….Ed…Heads…Eat em up, YUM!

    We are not Ed…WE ARE DEVO!!!

  53. #53 MJ Memphis
    December 14, 2006

    “I wonder how Glen D would prove his existence to my satisfaction?”

    Not sure, but if you ripped off Descartes you could prove the opposite. Glen D doesn’t think, therefore he is not.

  54. #54 Pieter B
    December 14, 2006

    Dammit, Dexceus, you beat me to it . . . (Will the real Ed Brayton . . .)

    “Would you like dessert, Monsieur Descartes?”

    “I think not,” he said, and disappeared.

  55. #55 Scott Simmons
    December 14, 2006

    I’m Ed Brayton, and so’s my wife.

  56. #56 les
    December 14, 2006

    No, I’m Ed Brayton.

    Always look on the bright side of life, ba dum, ba dum, da dum…

  57. #57 xebecs
    December 14, 2006

    Didn’t anyone tell you? Jerome Armstrong is you. He’s me, too. So I guess we are writing to ourselves. Hi, Jerome, how’s the weather where you are? Really? Same here!

    On a separate note, it’s very amusing how these people spout forth bald assertions and then refer back to those same assertions as if they were some sort of proof. Tiny, tiny people with tiny, tiny brains…

  58. #58 Glenn
    December 14, 2006

    Man, this “phony” wolf pack of yours sure is easygoing, Ed. (No I am not Glen!)

  59. #59 Ed Brayton
    December 14, 2006

    Good evening. I’m Ed Brayton, and you’re not.

  60. #60 Spartacus
    December 14, 2006

    I am Ed Brayton!

  61. #61 steve s
    December 14, 2006

    People were always asking me, did I
    know Ed Brayton.

  62. #62 Wobert
    December 14, 2006

    May the Ed be with you.

  63. #63 Glenn
    December 14, 2006

    ED!

    BRAYYYYYYTON!

    SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE!

  64. #64 Russell Miller
    December 14, 2006

    xebecs:

    No. Not tiny brains. These people are actually very intelligent in a very twisted kind of way. It takes a certain kind of genius to twist the fabric of reality as thoroughly as they do.

  65. #65 Baratos
    December 14, 2006

    I’m the dude. Or Rick James. Depends on the time of day. Also note that “James” has a “bitch!” sound at the end of it.

  66. #66 I am the Walrus
    December 14, 2006

    I am he as you are he as you are me and we are all together
    Coocoo cachoo

  67. #67 twincats
    December 14, 2006

    Do I get to pick whether I’m a fake person, a buffoon or an egghead? Maybe I’m a fake, egg-headed buffoon…

    Egg-heads, egg-heads
    Roly poly egg-heads

    Egg-heads, egg-heads
    Made up by Ed!

    btw Dave, Devo never did that song, it was Barnes & Barnes.

  68. #68 John Wilkins
    December 14, 2006

    I’m not a fake wolf, I’m a real wolf. Give me food or I’ll rip your throat out.

  69. #69 Bathsheba
    December 14, 2006

    Glen D: a classic. Paranoid, narcissistic, delusions of grandeur . . . I gotta start me one of them religions. Talk about easy money.

  70. #70 decrepitoldfool
    December 14, 2006

    I am not, nor have I ever been, Ed Brayton. But apparently I am Joshua Abraham Norton, when I am not the Decrepit Old Fool, which is a pseudonym I use so people won’t know my real name is George Wiman.

  71. #71 Steve Murphy
    December 15, 2006

    “I am not a number, I am Ed”.

    Sounds like we have quorum – or a cult following. We could be “Ed-heads” (Ok, that sounds wrong) and Ed can be a band:
    - Right Said Ed?
    - The Self-Proclaimers? (cf.. troll post line “you self-proclaim you are..”)
    - Eddie and the Cruisers?

  72. #72 Prup aka Jim Benton
    December 15, 2006

    I am not Ed. (I have too much respect for him to impute blame from my frequently over-pompous ramblings and wanders from the topic. Besides, I’m too ticklish to be a sock puppet.

    I’ll just be one of the ‘Cruisers.’

    And, btw, eL cRISYADOR, this IS a Phil Dick story, one of ny favorites, “Upon the Dull Earth.” (It’s in THE PRESERVING MACHINE and THE FATHER THING.)

  73. #73 Prup aka Jim Benton
    December 15, 2006

    El Cristador, that should have been, but it gets late early on catbox nights, and I’m too tired to see, or to find my 99 cent reading glasses.

  74. #74 Wobert
    December 15, 2006

    To find out who is the real Ed,perhaps they could all stand up and yell

    WIIIILLLLLLLLLLBUUUUURRRRR

    Sorry, I better go now.

  75. #75 Dave S.
    December 15, 2006

    twincats:

    btw Dave, Devo never did that song, it was Barnes & Barnes.

    I know. Those were meant as two separate brain-farts.

  76. #76 CaptainMike
    December 15, 2006

    When did “educated egghead” become a pejorative? Doesn’t that basically translate to learned smart person?

  77. #77 Melody
    December 15, 2006

    When did “educated egghead” become a pejorative? Doesn’t that basically translate to learned smart person?

    Remember, Captain — we’re talking about a country that dissed a presidential candidate because he spoke more than one language.

  78. #78 Third Cross from the Right
    December 15, 2006

    I’M Ed Brayton… And so’s my wife!

  79. #79 Raging Bee
    December 15, 2006

    Third Cross: And that says what about your love-life?

    Ewww…

  80. #80 twincats
    December 15, 2006

    Sorry, Dave. I’ll go back to devolving now…

  81. #81 twincats
    December 15, 2006

    Here’s another one for the Dr. Demento fans:

    (brain) Dead Trollers
    (brain) Dead Trollers
    (brain) Dead Trollers
    Aren’t much fun.

    They don’t stay away
    If you don’t call
    They don’t make
    Sense at all

    (brain) Dead Trollers
    Aren’t much fun (no, no, no)

    A Troller posted
    To my blog
    Everyone else thinks
    He’s a slog

    (brain) Dead Trollers
    Aren’t much fun

  82. #82 Tube-sock Ed
    December 15, 2006

    Well, yes: my name is spelled Ed Brayton, but it’s pronounced ‘throat-warbler mangrove’.

  83. #83 Matthew Young
    December 18, 2006

    I’m Ed Brayton and so is my wife.

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