Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Gribbit’s Response

Aww, we got Gribbit’s panties all bunched up.

It seems that I’m getting a lot of hits today from Fatso Eddie’s website. Looks like he wants to bring it to people’s attention that I’ve posted that Wide Awakes Radio is looking for sponsors. Well, duh. We’re capitalists you effin moron. We aren’t in this for the fun of it.

He has sent literally hundreds of visitors to me in the past few days but none of them seem to want to comply with my commenting policy. None of them have tried to leave a comment. COWARDS!


Hey, I’m a capitalist too. Which is why I want to sponsor your show, on behalf of the ACLU. Since sending you hundreds of visitors is such a huge bump in your traffic, I certainly don’t expect that sponsoring your show will do anything for my site, but for sheer irony’s sake I think it needs to be done. So you tell me what you guys charge for a sponsorship and if it’s reasonable, we’ll put up the money.

We know you’re not going to get a sponsor who actually thinks it’s a good investment to try and reach the 4 other braindead halfwits who listen to your show, so you have to consider that this may be the only chance you have to make a little money off your show. It might keep you from being homeless (and by the way, judging by your propensity for threatening people with violence – which you did again in the post above – I would suggest that you don’t suffer from “social anxiety disorder”, you’re just a sociopath). So you could make a couple hundred bucks this way. All you have to do is read this statement several times during your show:

This show is sponsored by Dispatches from the Culture Wars, which reminds you that the ACLU even defends the right of clueless pinheads like me to spout idiotic nonsense

Deal?

Comments

  1. #1 Saint Gasoline
    January 27, 2007

    Ah, the beauty of capitalism–allowing people to exploit themselves for ad revenue. Maybe he’ll get desperate enough to take you up on this offer.

    Oh, by the way, click my friggin google ads so I can make an extra five cents, people.

  2. #2 Dan
    January 27, 2007

    OK, now this is getting laugh-out-loud funny.

    Ed, do you really think there are only “4 other braindead halfwits” who listen to Gribbit’s show? I was guessing maybe 7 “braindead halfwits.” In any event, we’re now up to something near $300 by my count. For that kind of money, we should be able to just buy “Wides Awakes Radio” lock, stock, and barrel. Not sure what we’d do with it — maybe change the name and turn it into a perpetual public service ad spot for the ACLU.

  3. #3 meatbrain
    January 27, 2007

    I tried to leave a comment, but his braindead site either ate it, or braindead Gribbit deleted it. Same with the trackback to the post I put up on my own blog yesterday, reminding Gribbit that we do in fact have proof absolute that he lies.

    I’ll try another comment today, and see what happens.

    If Gribbit wanted traffic, he’d turn off that Gawd-awful music that autoplay when one visits his site. Nobody surfing at work is going to go to his site more than once with that crap playing at full volume every visit.

    If you do get his agreement to read your message on the air, Ed, put up a post here calling for donations. I monitor your RSS feed.

    (PS… Apologies for the link back to my own site, Ed. I’ve never been able to get trackbacks to your posts to show up here. No idea why.)

  4. #4 meatbrain
    January 27, 2007

    Dan’s got exactly the right idea… buy W.A.R. outright.

    Second best would be to add the following to Ed’s proposed spot:

    “By joining the ACLU today, you’ll be doing your part to protect our basic freedoms. Visit them at aclu.org/join.”

  5. #5 Skip Evans
    January 27, 2007

    Count me in for a 20 spot.

  6. #6 eric collier
    January 27, 2007

    I too tried to post a reply, but the procedure for accepting his posting policy was so elliptical & dead-end that I suspect he really doesn’t want any replies. So he can go on claiming we lefties have no balls, etc. Here is the text of my comment:

    G– I gather from all the bulldog imagery, hard-rock soundtrack and physical violence bluster that you are some kind of neo-right tough-guy. We’re all very impressed and intimidated. But where’s the military imagery? Are you one of those innumerable flag-waving saber-rattlers who’s never pulled any camo over his panty-hose?
    One thing is clear: you are not one of those effete right-wing intelligentsian elitists, like, say, Ken Adelman or Richard Perle. You sound more like a nose-picking auto-school drop-out. I bet you think your macho-cretinous website will catch the attention of Ann Coulter. Well hang in there, Ally Oop– it just might.

  7. #7 FishyFred
    January 27, 2007

    Now that I know you’re serious, count me in for $20.

  8. #8 Gribbit
    January 27, 2007

    First let me say.. yes.. it is me.. You Fucking Dumbass.

    Second… Fuck Off!

  9. #9 Dave S.
    January 27, 2007

    Such eloquence!

    What’s the matter Gribbit? I thought you were looking for sponsors….

  10. #10 ThomasHobbes
    January 27, 2007

    Yeah, come on, Gribbit, that’s good money being offered right there. Good advertising revenue can save a small-scale operation like yours. Try not to be such an asshole and actually consider it for a minute, huh?

  11. #11 Russell Miller
    January 27, 2007

    I have an idea! Gribbit seems to want to “debate” us with his fists. Well, although I live in California and he in Ohio, I’m game!

    Meet me at the corner of fifth street and Alameda in downtown Los Angeles. Don’t worry, it’s a great area of town. You’ll have a hard time spotting me in the rest of the crowds. Don’t worry, I’m the one walking down the street talking to myself. Just yell our secret codeword, “Hey! Yeah you! What’s your problem?”

    Look forward to meeting you.

  12. #12 doctorgoo
    January 27, 2007

    awww… lil gwibbie is angwy again… Did gwibbie go poo? Does gwibbie need a new diapie??

  13. #13 Ed Brayton
    January 28, 2007

    Gribbit wrote:

    First let me say.. yes.. it is me.. You Fucking Dumbass.

    Second… Fuck Off!

    Now let’s compare that to this post by Gribbit where he reprints the Bible readings for the first Sunday of advent, which he was studying at the time. It includes this passage from Paul:

    Finally, brothers and sisters, we earnestly ask and exhort you in the Lord Jesus that, as you received from us how you should conduct yourselves to please GOD – and as you are conducting yourselves – you do so even more. For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus.

    He ends the post with “peace be with you all.” Except, one assumes, those he threatens to beat up. Jesus would be so proud of you, Gribbit.

  14. #14 Leni
    January 28, 2007

    Third… Gribbit, you smelly little toad, you don’t need capitals on ‘fucking’ or ‘dumbass’, you Stupid Motherfucker.

    It’s a Good Thing you don’t have to Spell or anything like that on The Radio, you Little Goat Fucker. Otherwise People might figger it fer what a Fucking Pig Stick you are.

    (Scuse the language. Me and Jesus done worked it all out ‘forehand.)

  15. #15 kemibe
    January 28, 2007

    I also couldn’t help but notice this contradiction — someone claiming to be on the government dole for social anxiety disorder repeatedly clamoring for people to meet him in public so he can issue an ass-beating. That sounds a little like a guy with intractable erectile dysfunction threatening to bang someone else’s wife. I am somewhat more amused than concerned at this point.

  16. #16 Mike Haubrich
    January 28, 2007

    Yep, tried to post a short comment. I read his stupid rules and agreed to them, even checked the little box. I think he needs to discuss his commenting problem with his host, because it wouldn’t accept my reply, kept on popping back up with “You must agree to the terms and conditions in the privacy statement to post.”

    All I wanted to say is that he is not representing Jesus well.

  17. #17 FastLane
    January 28, 2007

    Actually, if gribbit is willing to meet somewhere in between KS and OH, I’ll take him up on the fisticuffs challenge, since that seems to be to the only thing he understands.

    Of course, I don’t think I’d trust him to show and not bring either a weapon, a few friends, or a lawyer. I somehow doubt he’s actually man enough to engage anyone in a fair fight physically, as he has already demonstrated verbally.

    Cheers.

  18. #18 Jim Anderson
    January 28, 2007

    No ad sponsorship from me, but I’d pay to see Gribbit and our man Dembski together in a bit of “street theater.”

  19. #19 kemibe
    January 28, 2007

    This isn’t street theater, but it’s good theater all the same. Mix a wide array of available page templates and add-ons with redneck pride, and the result is guaranteed to be schizophrenic at first glance, yet oddly coherent when the details are examined.

  20. #20 khan
    January 28, 2007

    I find the threats and obscenities especially touching with the image of the Holy Virgin Mary on the side of the page.

  21. #21 Ken
    January 29, 2007

    How fucking stupid does someone have to be to accuse his opponents of being “COWARDS!!!1!” when his page is such a peice of crap that it won’t allow comments to be posted?

    What a maroon.

  22. #22 Brandon
    January 29, 2007

    How do you know it’s actually Gribbit and not just somebody trying to make him look bad?

  23. #23 Ed Brayton
    January 29, 2007

    Brandon-

    Because he admitted on his webpage that he left the comment, and this one is from the same IP address.