Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Fafarman’s Greatest Hits

I know I stopped replying to Larry Fafarman a few months ago when I found out that he genuinely is mentally ill, but the little git emailed me this and it just makes me laugh so I thought I’d share it with you all. It’s a forwarded email that he sent to someone else:

Well, I see that you have already discovered Ed Brayton’s blog.

Here is a limerick that I recently composed about him:

There once was a blogger named Ed,
who was known as a stupid fathead
The stuff he did write,
on his blogging site,
was like a balloon filled with lead.

Larry Fafarman

Inspiring, isn’t it?


  1. #1 kehrsam
    March 23, 2007

    As you may not have much experience dealing with this grade level, I would suggest that the “I’m rubber, you’re glue” response can be truly devastating.

    If you want to take the high road, go with “The sun is shining, the pretty flowers are growing AND its Ballerina Day so we all get to LACE our SHOES with RIBBONS!!!” Works like a charm.

    BTW, I understand Larry does a killer rendition of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.”

  2. #2 eric
    March 23, 2007

    I don’t get it.

  3. #3 Raging Bee
    March 23, 2007

    I guess Larry’s entering what we call “second childhood.” A sad old sod got even sadder.

  4. #4 Roadtripper
    March 23, 2007

    That’s really sad. Larry obviously didn’t get the memo; a proper limerick is supposed to have some kind of appallingly filthy punch-line. I could write a good one for him, but I think Mr. Brayton would rather not have it posted here….

  5. #5 meatbrain
    March 23, 2007

    The man is, as Ed points out, mentally ill. He is truly incapable of creating arguments any better than this.

  6. #6 llDayo
    March 23, 2007

    I think a “you smell like poopy” response would do nicely.

  7. #7 Squiddhartha
    March 23, 2007

    Larry, your fourth line doesn’t scan. May I suggest:

    On his dumb blogging site



  8. #8 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007


    Actually, I’d find a good dirty limerick about me quite entertaining.

  9. #9 J-Dog
    March 23, 2007

    Well! I see that meter is not his metier…

    Perhaps the Nice Nurse ladies will let him play on the computer later and he will be happy as a little girl once again.

  10. #10 Thinker
    March 23, 2007

    If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em. My humble suggestion:

    A creationist troll we call Larry
    fills the blogosphere up with his airy
    ex-rear bloviation
    unto saturation.
    Yet he’s not the worst – now that’s scary!

  11. #11 CCP
    March 23, 2007

    wait until you see Larry’s sonnet about Wes Elsberry…

  12. #12 Christophe Thill
    March 23, 2007

    Far out, man… !

  13. #13 valhar2000
    March 23, 2007

    What is the nature of his mental illness? How did you distinguish between it and acquired habits (i.e., typical creationists foolishness)?

    I have on one occasion suspected thata commenter (on another site) was insane, but I could not be sure, and others were trying to take him seriously.

  14. #14 xebecs
    March 23, 2007

    Dispatches from Mr. E. Brayton,
    Have DI incompetents hatin’.
    Forget about PZ,
    He just makes them queasy,
    But Ed is more evil than Satan!

    Sorry it isn’t dirty — I’m posting this from work.

  15. #15 doctorgoo
    March 23, 2007

    valhar, apparently he had an emotional breakdown while commenting on this site about 10 months ago. It got so bad that he was apparently posting under his brother’s name too. In fact, if you ever see an “L. Breckinridge” who sometimes tries to post, this is him too.

    Here’s some classic Larry F. to peruse…




  16. #16 Stuart Coleman
    March 23, 2007

    How can writing be like a lead balloon? Heavy? What about writing like a light balloon? Does it float on the wind? I think he needs to work on his metaphors.

  17. #17 J-Dog
    March 23, 2007

    xebecs and Thinker – Outstanding! Thanks for taking the time.

  18. #18 dogscratcher
    March 23, 2007

    Ed Brayton can write a mean post,
    usually pissing on paleyists most
    but having a lawyerly itch
    to make Volokh his bitch
    he’ll also give Barton a roast

  19. #19 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007


    Nah, I like Volokh. Make it “to make Bork his bitch” and that one’s perfect.

  20. #20 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007

    My buddy Skip Evans emails this entry:

    There once was a blogger named Ed,
    many right wingers prayed be found dead.
    But ed kept on railing,
    even against jailing,
    Southern Baptist leaders caught giving head.

    I like it. Keep em coming.

  21. #21 Dave S.
    March 23, 2007

    There once was a blogger named Brayton,
    Exposes the nutjobs, and doesn’t keep ’em waitin’.
    He’s a bit of a joker,
    And likes to play poker,
    And the IDists think he’s the next Satan.

  22. #22 Jason I.
    March 23, 2007

    There once was a blogger named Ed
    With ribs he kept himself fed
    He liked to play cards
    But like any good bard
    Preferred bets with scotch instead

  23. #23 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007

    Ha! These are great.

  24. #24 Dave L
    March 23, 2007

    Ed has a strong voice of reason
    Despite those who think he’s appeasin’
    Though his love of Duke
    Just may make you puke
    His barbecue’s doubtlessly pleasin’

  25. #25 doctorgoo
    March 23, 2007

    Well jeez, Ed. With a name that rhymes with Satan, and your favorite topics of poker and comedians (or joker), a million limericks are possible.

    But coming up with a dirty limeric is a bit more difficult. Do you happen to have a relative named Deloris? If so, this opens up lots more possibilties!

  26. #26 chris
    March 23, 2007

    It’s a reach, but…

    Ed blogs away on his website
    Against IDers whose asses are so tight
    Their insides are so full
    With outrageous bull
    That from their mouths can come only shite

    I’ll keep working on it.

  27. #27 Thinker
    March 23, 2007

    Actually, I’d find a good dirty limerick about me quite entertaining.

    You want dirty? OK, here goes:

    If you fail with a broad it’s because
    you’ve not followed Ed Brayton’s laws:
    “Your meat should be hot
    and hit the right spot
    before you can dispatch your sauce.”

  28. #28 Tyler DiPietro
    March 23, 2007

    Howz aboot this, eh?

    There once was a blogger named Ed,
    Who took nutjobs out to the woodshed.
    He can even have class,
    with his foot up their ass,
    and their nonsense buried and dead.

  29. #29 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007


    I can’t believe you just called all these dames “broads”. Chicks hate that.

  30. #30 Thinker
    March 23, 2007

    My honest apologies to the ladies, of course! My (admittedly weak) defense is that I wanted an alliteration with “b”, and the only synonym I could think of with that letter would have been even worse…

  31. #31 doctorgoo
    March 23, 2007

    There once was a blogger named Ed,
    With Denyse O’Leary in bed.
    Billy D was forlorn,
    ‘Cause his girl was now gone,
    And he only had Davescot to wed.

  32. #32 doctorgoo
    March 23, 2007

    Actually, I don’t know if this last one was more insulting to Dembski or to Ed.

    My apologies, guy!

  33. #33 Ed Brayton
    March 23, 2007

    Ouch. Sorry, Dembski can have her.

  34. #34 Thinker
    March 23, 2007

    Billy D? I don’t care who he longs
    for in bed, or to whom he sings songs!
    The righteous-right prattle
    he spews from Seattle
    makes it clear he is just Bill of Wrongs.

  35. #35 Coin
    March 23, 2007

    Limericks are overrated. What we need, I think, is some Scienceblogs haiku.


    Believe medicine,
    Darwin, the holocaust all
    real ∴ make enemies


    Abrasive flamebait,
    constant religion-bashing
    ∴ “Top Five Most Active”


    I wonder if you
    could design a programming
    language from haiku


    Dawkinsist, PETA
    supporting, mild homophobe
    …don’t see pattern here


    Poor DaveScot. Ban’d all
    his enemies, now must go
    to SB to chat


    Banned from everywhere
    What? How dare they spurn my truth?
    Make new dupe account


    blogger attacked by both sides
    for being centrist

    I am going to regret this post.

  36. #36 Leni
    March 23, 2007

    More dirty limericks!

    (haiku are nice, but they aren’t as silly and entertaining.)

    (I’m not much of a poet or I’d actually contribute. And be glad I don’t, because it would just end up being morbid. Already the only rhyme I can think of is ‘undead”.)

  37. #37 Dave S.
    March 24, 2007

    xebecs: I missed your limerick and used a similar line about Satan by pure chance. You beat me to it. 🙂

    There once was a blogger named Ed,
    Whom upon Gribbet he tread.
    The gunk that was formed,
    On his shoe so forelorned,
    Was worse than fresh dogpoop he said.

  38. #38 Anonymous
    March 24, 2007

    You guys don’t know how to write limericks — here are some good ones:

    There once was a jurist named Jones,
    who had a head just full of bones.
    The opinions he wrote
    did nothing but quote,
    and his rulings were nothing but clones.

    There once was a jurist named Jones,
    who was known as a real lazybones.
    He could not disguise
    that he did plagiarize,
    and his rulings were nothing but clones.

    A judge was named John Jones the Third,
    his brain was like that of a bird.
    His brain was so small,
    it was nothing at all,
    and his rulings were always absurd.

    There once was a critic named Jim,
    whose view of Judge Jones was quite dim.
    When John Jones the Third
    said something absurd,
    Jim thought very little of him.

    There once was a jurist named Jones,
    who thought our ears came from jawbones.
    But the human ear
    is designed to hear,
    and that’s why we need not wear earphones.

    A ranter named P.Z.: “It’s dumb
    To question old theories, by gum!
    For Darwin’s the way
    As we ideologues say
    And surely that’s science, in sum!”

    “I’m John Jones, His Ruling Grace,
    Who keeps all the ‘low’ in their place:
    Should they doubt any word
    From a Darwinist nerd
    My riding-crop snaps in their face!”

  39. #39 Squiddhartha
    March 24, 2007

    Your meter still needs work, Larry.

  40. #40 doctorgoo
    March 24, 2007

    By any chance is ‘Anonymous’ just Larry Farfromsane again?

    Well, whoever it is, I wonder from which ID website they copied/pasted those from. Because ranting against Judge Jones or PZ is a wee bit off topic here….

  41. #41 Dave S.
    March 24, 2007

    By any chance is ‘Anonymous’ just Larry Farfromsane again?

    Possibly, as Larry has an absolute obsession with Judge Jones. I never read his blog, but it would not surprise me in the slightest to find 2 dozen or more threads wherein he rants over Judge Jones.

  42. #42 Raging Bee
    March 27, 2007

    I didn’t think Larry was worth a limerick, but this one wrote itself in my head; so, in the spirit of National Make Fun of the Handicapped Week, here it is:

    There once was a crank in an attic
    Whose avoidance of truth was automatic
    Obsessed with a judge
    He flailed in sludge
    To protect his ignorance static.

    Haiku? Not so sure about that…

    Reality upsets
    My fragile mind
    Darwinist conspiracy!

New comments have been disabled.