Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Bourdain on the Food Network Awards

I don’t know if any of you watched the Food Network Awards a week ago. I hope not. I watched about 10 minutes of it and it was so godawful that I was just flabbergasted that they put it on the air. It’s about as bad as television gets, the kind of show that makes you stare at the screen in disbelief that someone who isn’t in a coma greenlighted it. Anthony Bourdain thought so too and he blasted the show in his own amusing way here.


  1. #1 Doug
    April 25, 2007

    Ed: I’m with you, man, and I enjoy your blog immensely, but I’ve got to object to:
    “it was so godawful that I was just flabbergasted that they put it on the air.”
    How can anyone be surprised about anything that’s on TV these days?
    Two words: Nancy Grace.

  2. #2 kehrsam
    April 25, 2007

    So, um… who won for best Food Network?

  3. #3 llDayo
    April 25, 2007

    My wife loves the Food Network and even SHE thought the awards show sucked! She turned it off after about 15-20 minutes. Luckily it was her turn to put our daughter to bed so I was playing Oblivion on the computer and didn’t have to be succumbed to that idiocy.

  4. #4 Scott Simmons
    April 25, 2007

    I’m trying to imagine the mind-set that would lead someone to even turn this kind of show on. My wife and 9-year-old son are regular Food Network viewers (his current ambition is to be a chef), but I can’t imagine them seeing that in the program guide and saying, “Ooh! Gotta catch that!”

  5. #5 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    April 25, 2007

    You can always count on Bourdain.

  6. #6 Matthew
    April 25, 2007

    I saw it on the guide and wondered what the point was. Although it might be nice to see Giada and Sandra Lee dressed up, it just wasn’t worth the pain of watching the show for me. I hope Bourdain’s show comes back on the air soon.

  7. #7 twincats
    April 25, 2007

    The only thing I watch on Food Network is “Good Eats” and I know that Alton Brown is a Team Player for the network. I didn’t watch the show and have to assume AB was there, possibly he found some inconspicuous place to ride out the horror mostly off-camera.

  8. #8 Rev. BigDumbChimp
    April 25, 2007

    Yes he’s a team player but his show is actually entertaining as opposed to other big team players like Mr. “BAM” who’s shows are mind numbing. There are a few other shows on there that aren’t too bad but there are plenty that are unwatchable.

  9. #9 Troublesome Frog
    April 25, 2007

    Awards shows always drive me crazy, but I had to tune in to the cake competition to determine whose cake would be at the ceremony. Marina Sousa made my wedding cake and my wife and I have to root for her and watch her any time she does her thing on the Food Network. For the record, she makes a damn tasty cake.

  10. #10 twincats
    April 25, 2007

    Oh, I forgot; I watch “Ace of Cakes” whenever I remember to, as well. Was Duff on the awards show? He seems like he’d have better things to do.

    I never watch awards shows, either.

  11. #11 Grumpy
    April 25, 2007

    I fast-forwarded through most of the thing, just to catch the categories, which were clever. And Alton Brown’s scripted patter, which was too clever.

    Here’s the thing: it wasn’t an award show. It was a culinary travelog dressed up to look like an award show. It’s a shame they had to muster the entire stable of Food Network stars to accomplish such a modest goal. A show titled “America’s Best Burger Joints” would’ve done the same thing, for half the embarrassment. And you wouldn’t have had spectacles like Emeril introducing a special award for Julia Child to be accepted by… her pal, Emeril.

  12. #12 Stephen
    April 26, 2007

    My favorite TV program was the Falcon channel, on cable in Springfield, MA. I’ve no idea if it’s still on. The deal is that a pair of falcons nested on the legde of a downtown Springfield office building. The cable station rented the office, and pointed a camera at the nest. Over the course of a season, you’d see the eggs get laid, the young hatch, get fed, fledge, and the nest abandoned for the season. They piped in a classical music station in for a soundtrack.

    As you might expect, not much happens. Every now and then, you might see the other adult arrive, and that one would then sit on the eggs or chicks for a spell. Very exciting.

    It wasn’t just me. When the cable station announced that it wasn’t going to do it the next year, over 35,000 people wrote in to complain. This is something like 20% of the covered area!

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