Dispatches from the Creation Wars

The Polish government descends yet further into anti-gay absurdity with an announcement that they are investigating the Teletubbies TV show to make sure it’s not warping the minds of kids in to thinking that gays might be human beings:

Poland’s conservative government took its drive to curb what it sees as homosexual propaganda to the small screen on Monday, taking aim at Tinky Winky and the other Teletubbies.

Ewa Sowinska, government-appointed children rights watchdog, told a local magazine published on Monday she was concerned the popular BBC children’s show promoted homosexuality.

She said she would ask psychologists to advise if this was the case.

They better hurry. Those kids will be running right out and fellating one another if they’re exposed to a purple alien with a handbag. Morons. Absolute morons.

Comments

  1. #1 Randi Schimnosky
    May 29, 2007

    Oooo, that Tinky Winky is hot! What a turn on! If I ever got my hands on that hearthrob I’d be all over him.

  2. #2 Sean
    May 29, 2007

    Stop it. I saw that gorgeous hunk of man first, you slut!

    Wait, how exactly do we know Tinky is a guy? The common method of sexing an unknown involves a *close* examination of the… OMG. Falwell didn’t, did he?

    What kind of spiral is Poland in? Or is this just a case of the loony getting out of proportion press coverage? Anyone have an idea what percentage of Poles have gone over the nutty edge?

  3. #3 Bill Poser
    May 29, 2007

    Not to be pedantic, but I think that conservative Catholics should actually favor the view that gays are human beings. If they don’t have souls, they can’t go to hell. As I recall, some centuries ago that was the reason for the Church’s magnanimous decision that women had souls.

  4. #4 Jesus
    May 29, 2007

    In Russia, people are beating up gays at gay rallies and the cops are hauling off the victims (for their protection).
    http://www.americablog.com/2007/05/moscow-police-sit-by-as-far-right.html

  5. #5 Michael Ralston
    May 29, 2007

    http://www.pensacolanewsjournal.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070529/NEWS01/70529020

    At Tuesday’s hearing, Mallory argued in part that witchcraft is a religion practiced by some people and, therefore, the books should be banned because reading them in school violates the constitutional separation of church and state.

    “I have a dream that God will be welcomed back in our schools again,” Mallory said. “I think we need him.”

    I love the contrast.

  6. #6 beepbeepitsme
    May 29, 2007

    RE: “Those kids will be running right out and fellating one another if they’re exposed to a purple alien with a handbag.”

    Priceless :)

  7. #7 Matthew Young
    May 30, 2007

    The Teletubbies make me hard.

  8. #8 Chris Krolczyk
    May 30, 2007

    I am going. To pretend. I didn’t read that.

    Oh. Wait. I saw something similar to that on the news and didn’t really catch where it happened or in what context.

    Which means I did read it, after all.

    YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!!!

  9. #9 Roman from Poland
    May 31, 2007

    Not only that, but Giertych removed from the public school curriculum books by Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Goethe and replaced them by… the biography of the late John Paul II.

    I fervently hope Poles will kick them out of office two years from now.

  10. #10 theberle
    June 1, 2007

    I don’t know about you guys, but I’ve always felt that Dipsy was much gayer, and with the dildo antenna on his head instead of a stupid triangle, knows how to satisfy his lovers better.

    Of course, Dipsy may avoid criticism because he’s also the ethnic Teletubby, although maybe it’s just his fabulous tan that makes him darker than the others.

    Dipsy’s toy is his hat, and he dances with it. Tinky Winky and his toy bag pales in comparison.

    Laa-Laa’s definitely female (I had a slight crush on her in college) and her toy is a “ball” so you know she’s straight.

    Po is just a baby, and female, but a bit boyish, with her toy being a scooter (aka “cooter”).

    Then, there’s always Noo-Noo, and the Sucky Slurpy game on the BBC website.

    Now on to real life lessons: back in college, when I was a big Teletubbies fan, I took a road trip to Tijuana and picked up a Tinky Winky pinata because of my admiration of his wicked bag-carrying skills.

    Crossing the border back into San Ysidro, the US Customs agent asked if I had anything to declare, and I held up the pinata and said, “Just this.” He replied, “You know what they say about the Purple one?” I answered, “Yep.” He responded with a straight (no pun intended) face, “Well, you’ll just have to hit it harder.”

    That was my first real exposure to gay-hatred (not simply homophobia).

  11. #11 Chris Krolczyk
    June 2, 2007

    Roman:

    Not only that, but Giertych removed from the public school curriculum books by Dostoyevsky, Kafka and Goethe and replaced them by… the biography of the late John Paul II.

    What the hell…? Removed? And for what reason?

    I’m pretty sure that any link you can provide me in English will probably horrify me as to the explanation, but go ahead.

    I fervently hope Poles will kick them out of office two years from now.

    Two years may be too long. Didn’t the governing coalition already lose a coalition partner or two in the past few months?

  12. #12 Trinary_Code
    June 2, 2007

    Wow! One of the teletubbies carries a lady’s purse!

    Perhaps someone could discretely remind Ms. Sowinska and her superiors in the Polish government that their late countryman, Karol Wojtyla, used to parade around in front of the whole world wearing dresses.

    That’s priceless!