Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
This has been out for more than a week but I just now noticed it: ScienceBlogs: The Movie. I'm not sure about this casting decision though:
If Judgment Day: Intelligent Design on Trial is a success, no doubt the Network Execubots will green-light the production of ScienceBlogs: The Movie. Hush-hush rumors from inside the studios indicate that William Shatner has signed to play Ed Brayton, while Jonathan Frakes has expressed an interest in the role of PZ Myers.
I don't know whether to be flattered or offended by the idea of being played by Shatner. On the one hand, I absolutely loathe Star Trek; on the other hand, I've long had a respect for Shatner because he's clearly in on the joke and doesn't mind making fun of himself. The SNL sketch where he played himself addressing a Star Trek convention has to go down as one of the all time great sketches in comedy history. Video below the fold, followed by more comments:
And of course it should also be noted that Shatner never lost a fight, either on Star Trek or on TJ Hooker. The choice of Frakes to play PZ Myers is rather ironic but for reasons I'll have to explain. I have a sister and brother in law who are serious trekkies. I mean very serious trekkies. So much so that for several years, when The Next Generation was on TV, they took to calling me "#2", which was what Frakes' character was called by Picard on the show. Why? I have no idea. We both have beards, but other than that we look absolutely nothing alike. Yes, they are extraordinarily geeky. I've long said that I could take a shit in aluminum foil, wrap it up and call it "Klingon Dung", and not only would they buy it, they'd pay a huge price for it and build some portion of their identity and self-esteem on the fact that they had it and some other dork didn't.
This part of the script idea cracked me up:
From the earliest draft script, it looks as if Dawkins (Connery) will hurl epithets of "appeaser" and "Neville Chamberlain" at various and sundry targets, while Orac (voiced by Douglas Rain) will intone, "I'm sorry Richard, but I'm afraid I can't allow you to do that." Then, in a riveting action sequence, Discovery Institute operatives stage a commando raid on Orac's posh Manhattan penthouse apartment, and Michael Egnor -- angered by the challenge Orac's AI poses to his mind/brain dualism -- tries to disconnect Orac's circuits
Hilarious. A commenter had the following suggestions for casting the movie:
PZ: a bearded Beau BridgesMichael Behe: Paul Giamatti
Bill Dembski: James Spader
Eugenie Scott: Meryl Streep
Philip Johnson: a close-cropped William Shatner (think about it, this would be perfect on a number of levels)
Judge Jones: Chris Noth
Kevin Padian: Ted Danson
Barbara Forrest: Kate Mulgrew
Ken Miller: Michael Gross
Stephen Meyer: Ted McGinley (it's the leisure suits)
Some good ones, but trust me on this one: there is only one person who can play Barbara Forrest - Holly Hunter. And if James Spader is gonna play Dembski, it has to be the mid-80s Spader, like when he was Stef in Pretty in Pink - maximum smarminess is required for that part. Giamatti is an inspired choice for Behe. I would go with Phillip Seymour Hoffman as Phillip Johnson (and he can even reuse the Capote accent for comedic effect). Kevin Padian could only be played by Christopher Lloyd from the Back to the Future era. I also love the choice of Ted McGinley for Stephen Meyer, but he has to play the role just like he did in Revenge of the Nerds. As for me? I'll go with Oliver Platt.
Comments
Glad to know it was appreciated.
(Picard called Frakes' character "Number One," not "Number Two." Hey, there wasn't much to do growing up in Alabama besides watch Star Trek.)
Posted by: Blake Stacey | July 23, 2007 9:54 AM
Ed writes:
Actually Picard called Frake's character #1, as he was first officer. On modern ships you might here the term XO used, which stands for executive officer. A #2 is something a whole lot different. :)
Posted by: Dave S. | July 23, 2007 9:56 AM
Phhh. You both wear corsets and give very bad, ill-timed monologues whilst staring slightly left of camera. Typecasting if anything...
Posted by: Rich | July 23, 2007 10:00 AM
Picard called Riker #1. Q, a nearly omnipotent and omniscient being who liked to play the role of merry trickster, called him #2.
Posted by: AnneS | July 23, 2007 10:14 AM
Here's geeky for you:
The original "Number One" was the character played by Majel Barrett in the original Star Trek pilot "The Menagerie." She was the executive officer to Jeffrey Hunter's Captain Christopher Pike (Kirk's predecessor on the Enterprise). Having Picard call Riker "Number One" was one of Roddenberry's little in-jokes.
Ed: Just out of curiosity--why do you loathe Star Trek?
Posted by: gary l. day | July 23, 2007 10:34 AM
>> I absolutely loathe Star Trek...
What's wrong with Star Trek?
Posted by: Stegve | July 23, 2007 10:51 AM
Ed: I understand K-Fed is now available. I'm just sayin'....
Posted by: kehrsam | July 23, 2007 11:35 AM
See, that just tells you how much I avoided all things Star Trek, I didn't even remember that it was #1 instead of #2. I honestly don't know why I developed such an antipathy to the show, but it set in very early on. It probably had as much to do with the obsessive fans as it did with the show itself; I do know that when Shatner gave that speech on the SNL sketch it echoed what I'd been saying to my Star Trek geek friends for a long time. Ironically, I became a hero to my trekkie sister and brother in law last year when I knocked Wil Wheaton out of a poker tournament and he said some nice things about me on his blog. It also boosted my nerd cred a bit with the ScienceBlogs crew, especially Shelley Batts, who swooned while reminiscing about Wil in his Wesley Crusher uniform.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | July 23, 2007 11:44 AM
On Loathing Trekkies:
They were the first fen who didn't read. If you were a slan, or Northwest Smith snuggling up to a shambleau, you were at least literate.
Maybe I'll send a filk from the old NESFA hymnal on the topic.
fusilier, SMOF, jg (ret)
James 2:24
Posted by: fusilier | July 23, 2007 12:12 PM
What, no Star Trek jokes about Kate Mulgrew playing Barbara Forrest?
How about Gargoyles or Remo Williams jokes?
Posted by: Skemono | July 23, 2007 12:32 PM
I have absolutely no idea what that last comment said.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | July 23, 2007 12:32 PM
I love Oliver Platt, and imagine he could pull it off very well. Good choice.
Posted by: Gretchen | July 23, 2007 12:46 PM
The worst thing about trek is definately the fans. The show goes from pretty good, to pretty terrible depending on the episode, but nothing compares to a guy living in his parents basement dressing up as a klingon and saying "K'pla" to everyone while swinging his batleth.
Posted by: Robert | July 23, 2007 12:57 PM
Bingo.
Posted by: Pieter B | July 23, 2007 1:04 PM
See? How are we supposed to take your mockery seriously (or comically) when you don't understand the object of your derision?
I dunno. There's internet nerds who spend their days commenting on (or writing) blogs and yet somehow think they're above Star Trek fans.
By which I mean to say, "nuqDaq yuch Dapol!"
As an aside, I was most distressed when the "Free Bible in Your Language" people never would give me a bible written in Klingon.
Posted by: Skemono | July 23, 2007 1:30 PM
"I'm being... attacked!.. by both... sides!... on this issue!"
Posted by: Coin | July 23, 2007 1:49 PM
Skemono-
Actually, that comment was intended for the comment above yours; yours snuck in there while I was replying. I still have no idea what the one before yours meant.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | July 23, 2007 2:03 PM
"I have absolutely no idea what that last comment said."
Another great Brayton monologue. Best if you read it like this..
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hcM5RxDeBws
Posted by: Rich | July 23, 2007 2:04 PM
"On Loathing Trekkies:
They were the first fen who didn't read."
Hmm...that would explain the dozens of new Trek novels that come out every year, in HB, TPB and mass market PB, to the tune of millions of copies every year...how, exactly? If the fans don't read?
Posted by: gary l. day | July 23, 2007 2:28 PM
"On the one hand, I absolutely loathe Star Trek. . ."
(Lips begin to quiver. . . quiver spreads to the whole face and head. . . jk unleashes his explosive cry!)
BRAYTON!!!!
(echo)BRAYTON!!
(quiter echo)BRAYTON!
Posted by: jk | July 23, 2007 2:29 PM
Fusilier's rather opaque comment can be mostly translated from here, and the remainder can be found in a short Google search. Short translation, though - SF fans that read books are superior to those who merely watch TV. While I tend to agree, it fails to account for those of us who do both.
And anyone who laughs at people dressing up like Klingons or whatever should count the number of sports team jerseys in their dresser.
Posted by: BobApril | July 23, 2007 2:38 PM
Unfortunately, the entire Klingon language is copyrighted. People generally seem to think this is lame; I would tend to agree. I believe the copyright is held not by the creator, Marc Okrand, but by Paramount. So Klingon books are probably not forthcoming.
Posted by: nicole | July 23, 2007 2:45 PM
For that matter, how do the fen learn Klingon if they don't read?
It's probably true that Trekkies were the first SF people who weren't devoted to the pulp magazines, but then again, it was the crowds of people attending Trek conventions that made a publisher decide to start the magazine which is now Asimov's.
Posted by: Blake Stacey, OM | July 23, 2007 2:48 PM
Number One, I have to go take a Number 2.
Posted by: Inoculated Mind | July 23, 2007 3:22 PM
Shyeah, good luck with that.
Posted by: Skemono | July 23, 2007 3:30 PM
William Shatner's a cultural icon, you should be proud to have him playing you.
Of course, the problem is that he's about 70.
And trekkers are the best part of Star Trek. They're the people who fought for decades to get Star Trek back on the air after the original series was canceled. They were, and are, right on the cutting edge of understanding that Star Trek was the most important show ever put on television.
Can anyone name me a more important show?
Posted by: MikeQ | July 23, 2007 4:19 PM
I dunno...
I'm thinking Shatner more in the Denny Crane role, rather than as Kirk... :-D
Posted by: minusRusty | July 23, 2007 4:55 PM
...And William Dembski will be played by Sir Not Appearing in this Film.
Posted by: Inoculated Mind | July 23, 2007 6:30 PM
I had to find this classic Beavis and Butthead line "Number One, I order you to go take a number two."
http://www.contramovies.com/file/672-beavis-and-butthead-star-trek.html
Posted by: doctorgoo | July 23, 2007 8:16 PM
Ah, uhm... I understood fusilier. But then, I also listen to Filk.
However, I don't own any Trek uniforms. And the Klingon dictionary was a gift from my sister (who does own a couple of Trek uniforms).
But I had girlfriends as a teen, and I'm married - so I guess I didn't fall completely past the event horizon of dorkiness.
Posted by: Calladus | July 23, 2007 8:29 PM
HAH!! And Ed accuses me of being a geek! I should have slapped you in the face with Suzy and Phil then. . .Besides, how geeky can I be, I only caught about, well ok I caught all of the references in this thread, but I don't speak, or read &$%^$#* Klingon!?!
Calladus -
I hate to be the one to tell you this, but even complete dorks can have girlfriends and get married. Usually to a complete dork, but still. (In spite of the rant above, I accept that I am a complete and utter dork, with a dorky partner, a dorky five year old and a child on the way, who will probably be a dork. Evidence of my child's dorkdom, he accidentally left his favorite imaginary airplane at the park today and actually cried when he realized his mistake. The other day, he threw a minor fit, after crashing the only imaginary airplane he had with him on our trip to the store. He also looked at me like I was insane, when I suggested he might fly his favorite imaginary airplane home by remote - "that's just silly papa, I hope nobody steals it.")
Posted by: DuWayne | July 23, 2007 9:46 PM
Ed said -
I honestly don't know why I developed such an antipathy to the show, but it set in very early on.
I do. Because you are so very, dad's son. Not to say that I didn't pick up my share of dad, but you definitely picked up his complete lack of appreciation for anything not firmly rooted in reality, or at least a reasonable semblance of reality.
Posted by: DuWayne | July 23, 2007 9:52 PM
Dude, green girls. Don't sweat the details.
Oh, come on, you were all thinking that.
Posted by: Rev. Bob | July 23, 2007 10:23 PM
Back in the day, DuWayne, girls didn't want anything to do with dorks. I think that is very different these days where girls go out of their way to find 'em.
The girls in my High School all had a "dangerous boy" complex. Of course the same girl that wanted to date a dangerous boy preferred to marry a dork. (Perhaps we're better providers?)
As for your insinuation that my dating doesn't negate my dorkiness, fine. I hope you get eaten by a grue.
Posted by: Calladus | July 24, 2007 12:41 AM
Shatner never lost a fight?
Didn't he, as Kirk, lose his very last fight to Malcom McDowell?
"Bridge on the Captain! Bridge on the Captain!"
(I hate ST too. The way that spaceships always come upon each other oriented in the same plane and rotation. I mean, it's as if the ST universe is as two dimensional as the characters)
Posted by: Ick of the East | July 24, 2007 7:39 AM
The plural of "fan" is obviously "fen." The other references are to various popular stories which people read.
In the '60s and earlier, one could attend SF conventions ("Cons") and discuss stories with people, who had read them. One could sit down next to a professional writer like Harlan Ellison, or Isaac Asimov over a beer - OK, Asimov didn't drink - and argue how something was worded, and what it was supposed to mean.
Then the Trekkies showed up and, in point of fact, they did not read. They had not read anything. One could not engage them in a conversation. At the 1976 World Science Fiction Convention in Kansas city, some guy named George Lucas shoed a short movie called "THX1138", which was moderately well-received. Then he invited attendees to a preview of his new movie which a major production house would be presenting the next year. Costumes, story-boards, plot snippets.
My Beloved and Darling Wife and I turned to each other and began weeping, as did most other people over the age of 12.
WRT Asimov's. When Conde Nast sold Analog to them, I knew it was time to give up a 30-year subscription.
As for the rest, if you have to ask, then you don't have a Need-To-Know.
fusilier
James 2:24
Posted by: fusilier | July 24, 2007 9:43 AM
Whoopsie-daisy.
Make that a 20-year subscription. I may be elderly and decrepit, but I'm not that elderly. (Decrepit, well, yeah, I'll give you that.)
fusilier
James 2:24
Posted by: fusilier | July 24, 2007 9:55 AM
Oh I don't know. I'm not a huge Star Trek fan, but the Borg are hands down the coolest bad guys ever.
I looove the Borg. They adapt while you are trying to kill them! That is so freaking cool! It is such such a great idea for an enemy. I considered buying the recent DVD release of all Borg episodes just because they are so bad-ass. Part of me always wants them to win, even though deep down they kind of scare the crap out of me.
But on the topic of the fans- I think the meanness about it is, well, just meanness. It is so utterly harmless. Yes, it's dorky, but as someone else said- so is wearing a ridiculous sports jersey on game day. When millions of "manly" men get together to engage in what is arguably the most worthless pass-time ever (watching sports in their silly fake uniforms) nobody bats an eyelash. But when it's a bunch of social undesirables who love fantasy and sci-fi, suddenly everyone thinks it's stupid. How surprising.
Pretty crappy, really. Especially considering that a lot of it is very light-hearted. I think most fans do it because they think it's silly and fun, not because they think they're cool. Hell, they'll all say right out that they know they're dorks. I think there's something kind of endearing about that.
And at least Star Trek inspires thought- there are plenty of philosophical, technical, and scientific issues with the shows (at least the newer ones) that at least in can be interesting for people who like that sort of thing. Hey, I can think of a lot worse things than that.
Posted by: Leni | July 24, 2007 4:04 PM
Oh yeah, and I'm totally down with Oliver Platt.
Shantner wouldn't be able to pull of the serious parts with the big scienc-y sounding words.
Posted by: Leni | July 24, 2007 4:08 PM
Speaking of filk, here's the refrain from a ST:TNG one by Jane Mailander.
Oh there's aliens a-plenty
And ensigns under twenty
Facing men of over ninety
In a broken and battered ship
The old man's consternation
At this next generation
Means a bloody confrontatin
and a thoroughly wasted trip
No, Jane has never been a fan of the show. (Don't recall the ame of the tune she wrote it to, but I do know it's Irish.)
Posted by: Alan Kellogg | July 25, 2007 1:07 AM
The SNL clip is missing the punchline.
Posted by: Jim Lippard | July 26, 2007 3:32 PM
I have a whole new respect for Shatner after his recent spoken word album with pop/alternative cameos, produced by Ben Folds. Shatner and Joe Jackson covered "Common People" (a 1995 song by Pulp), and did it so much more brilliantly than the original. The Henry Rollins/Shatner rant "I Can't Get Behind That" is also interesting and pure Rollins, though "Common People" is by FAR my fave. I picture it as a conversation between Shatner and Paris Hilton. Fun stuff!
(Shatner singing Common People live on Leno -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eISBTBwWKeE -- although the album cut is better, especially because of the choir at the end; here's the only youtube I found with that version -- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qgc6uXTM57Y)
Posted by: Davy | July 26, 2007 4:03 PM
Let me throw in my somewhat corroded $0.02 on the subject.
On the one hand, Trek may've got more than a few people interested in literary SF who decided not to limit themselves to Trekkie culture (if you wanna call it that) and decided to actually read around the genre to see who some of those pros who wrote Trek scripts (I'm thinking primarily of Ellison, Norman Spinrad and Ted Sturgeon) were up to outside of the show. That's the up side.
The down side, unfortunately, was a continuing tendency of Trekkies to watch and buy into everything Trek - even steaming turds like Voyager and Enterprise - and thereby keep The Franchise just chugging along even though it was now an absolutely hideous self-parody that refused to die. Granted, the especially awful Enterprise seems to've killed The Franchise off (if only temporarily), since even Paramount's execs apparently came to the conclusion that it needed a rest, but the unfortunate fact is that it's going to still be a very, very shopworn mess unless it's pried away from Rick Berman's clawlike fingers before they start working on the next series.
Posted by: Chris Krolczyk | July 26, 2007 5:00 PM
fusilier:
At the 1976 World Science Fiction Convention in Kansas city, some guy named George Lucas shoed a short movie called "THX1138", which was moderately well-received. Then he invited attendees to a preview of his new movie which a major production house would be presenting the next year. Costumes, story-boards, plot snippets.
My Beloved and Darling Wife and I turned to each other and began weeping, as did most other people over the age of 12.
You. Lucky. Bastard.
And that film, of course, is one that I went to see at the age of 11 about a year later. After that, things were different.
It's a real pity that Lucas' later work (read: The Phantom Menace on) turned out to be so much junk.
Posted by: Chris Krolczyk | July 26, 2007 5:06 PM
MikeQ:
Can anyone name me a more important show?
You're kidding, right?
Doctor Who had more longevity and probably inspired more than its fair share of British SF authors; granted, like Trek, it had its weak periods (it was a goddawful mess by the time its first run got cancelled back in '87 or so), but it was a much quirkier series that had suprisingly mature scripts for something that was originally deemed a "children's show" by the BBC.
Red Dwarf and the short-lived ABC version of Max Headroom both had satirical bite to spare and were, unlike Trek,/i> damn funny.
Babylon 5 also counts despite its faults (a nearly pointless fifth season, for example), because it was the continuity-based SF series that Star Trek: Deep Space Nine tried to be.
Now, granted, there's tons of filth on TV that pretends to be SF and utterly fails; I wince whenever I run across a rerun of Lost In Space and come pretty damn close to running from the room screaming whenever something like Buck Rogers or the original Battlestar Galactica comes on - but to say that there's no more important show than Trek is going a bit far.
Posted by: Chris Krolczyk | July 26, 2007 5:23 PM