Dispatches from the Creation Wars

I Get Mail. Okay, Chris Gets Mail

Chris Mooney received an email that was intended primarily for me, which he dutifully forwarded to me. At least I assume it was intended for me. It was addressed to an “Ed Batton”, which I assume is me. I’m not sure why it was so difficult for him to get my name right, since it was prominently displayed throughout the C-Span broadcast that he watched. For that matter, so was the address of my blog, so I don’t know why he had difficulty finding my blog and then my email address. But whatever the reason, he emailed Chris Mooney and asked him to forward it to me and, as I promise to do in my email disclaimer, I’m going to reproduce it for my readers to enjoy.

Hi Chris, I was channel surfing late the other night and came across a cspan episode with a group of groupies of either sci-fi/star trek/ &/or wrestling (the bloody floor-slappin kind). One said he got his physics degree 30 yrs ago and if not mistaken, I bought a guitar instruction dvd from him a few months back on eBay (listen, don’t buy it, the dude can’t play..). One particular stand up comic on the program, Ed Batton, really stole the show. Would you happen to have his email address?

Seriously, it seems the rumble from the Godless crowd (shoulder rubbers of yours) is growing louder. It could be that I’m keenly aware of the passage in that silly book called the Bible that states ‘in the last days what is right will be called wrong and’ .. you know, ‘what is wrong will be called right’. Yes, I’m one of those of faith (as weak as it is) that believe these are the ‘last days’ when men (and women..as seen on TV) will indulge themselves in boasting of knowledge to the very point of virulent (one of Ed’s smoke screen/ring words) ignorance.

Lastly, no one comes to the Father unless he is called. Today, this will by my prayer for you (and Mr Batton). Please forward this to Mr. Batton, if you have time.

Thanks, Jerry.

Something tells me that Jerry wasn’t paying much attention to the broadcast. The one who said that he got a physics degree 30 years ago was an audience member asking a question; whether he plays guitar or sells guitar instruction DVDs on E-Bay will likely remain a mystery. If Jerry somehow thinks that Sean Carroll, the physicist on the panel, got his degree 30 years ago, that’s quite odd. Sean got his doctorate in physics in 1993, a mere 14 years ago, and he is only a year or two older than I am. And truth be told, he doesn’t look anywhere near his age. Anyone who looks at Sean and thinks he got a doctorate 30 years ago needs to clean their TV screen.

One can only be amused that Jerry is so “keenly aware” of the verse that says that in the “last days” what is right will be considered wrong and what is wrong will be considered right. He seems blissfully unaware of just how absurd it is to use this as evidence that we are in those “last days.” It’s just like the other verse that says that in the last days there will be “wars and rumors of wars.” When, exactly, has that ever not been true?

All this really means is that the Bible predicts that “in the last days” people will disagree with the Bible. Gee, how compelling. I hereby declare that in the last days there will be people who think I’m wrong. What? Jerry thinks I’m wrong? You see, I am a prophet.

But thank you, Jerry, for praying for me. And in the spirit of your generosity, I will return your kindness by crossing my fingers, sacrificing a goat (okay, grilled lamb chops….close enough) and throwing salt over my shoulder for you. Mazel tov.