Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Pace Does It Again

Remember when Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Peter Pace told Congress that the military should not change don’t ask, don’t tell because homosexuality is immoral? Well now that he’s leaving office, he’s done it again:

“Are there wonderful Americans who happen to be homosexual serving in the military? Yes,” he told the Senate Appropriations Committee during a hearing Wednesday focused on the Pentagon’s 2008 war spending request.

“We need to be very precise then, about what I said wearing my stars and being very conscious of it,” he added. “And that is, very simply, that we should respect those who want to serve the nation but not through the law of the land, condone activity that, in my upbringing, is counter to God’s law.”

So “God’s law” is the standard by which we should make laws in the US, Gen. Pace? We will all await the military’s ban on mixed fabric clothing; those uniforms aren’t made of a poly/cotton blend, are they? For that matter, they better stop all those drill instructors from using the lord’s name in vain when yelling at their troops (and any soldier caught doing so will be sent to the brig, of course). And I sure hope the commissaries aren’t serving unclean pork to our men in uniform, in defiance of God’s law.

You better add a virginity test for all unmarried personnel when joining the armed forces; after all, not being a virgin on your wedding day is an abomination and punishable by death according to “God’s law.” I can see the army’s new slogan: “Don’t be signin’ if you ain’t got a hymen.” For that matter, there’s that whole “thou shalt have no other gods before me” thing too. Better throw out all the non-Christians.

For that matter, who decides which God’s law takes precedence? What if the Hindus are right? Better not serve beef either. Heck, what if the Jains have it right? That means you can’t kill anything, not even a bug. That would make the whole military against God’s law right from the start. This is getting complicated. Maybe we should just stick with that pesky constitution that says all people must be treated equally; I don’t recall it having a “God’s law” exception anywhere in the text.