Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
You gotta love the Worldnutdaily - anything to make a buck, baby. They're now selling "personal Christmas defense kits." Seriously.
Just check out WND's online store for your personal "Christmas-defense kit." What you'll find are three choices of bumper stickers:* "This is America! And I'm going to say it: 'Merry Christmas!'"
* "It is STILL a wonderful life - Merry Christmas!"
* "Merry Christmas! An American Tradition"
But wait, there's more!
They're all magnetized for seasonal use. Buy them separately or all together. Use them this year, next year and for many years to come.In addition, there's the "Reason for the Season Auto Magnets," also perfect for your refrigerator or office file cabinet or desk. Part of every purchase goes to Christian charities.
It's the perfect way to make your statement this Christmas - that Jesus is the reason for the season. Buy one, buy 25, buy 50!
But that's not all. For a limited time only:
There's one more component of your Christmas-defense kit: It's the "Operation: Just Say 'Merry Christmas' Bracelet." They make great stocking stuffers, but why wait! Make your feelings about Christmas known to one and all. Wear them to pick up the kids, when you buy groceries and when you go to work. They're guaranteed to ward off the evil spirits of the ACLU grinches.
And if you call in the next 30 minutes, we'll send you special earplugs that are programmed to filter out insulting anti-Christian vulgarities. Never again will you be brutally insulted by commie pinko gay pagans wishing you "happy holidays." No more will your delicate sensibilities be assaulted by anti-Christian bigots who want to wish you happiness in a manner you oppose.
For verily it is written in the book of Falwell that thou shalt put on the full armor of God and strike down the enemies of Christmas. You shall gird yourself with the breastplate of hyperbolic overreaction, the helmet of shallow demagoguery and the codpiece of dishonest marketing slogans and smite them with the sword of self-righteousness. So sayeth Bill O'Reilly (when he's not trying to stick falafel into the orifice of a producer).
Politics
Comments
So I guess this means that "Happy Festivus" is right out?
Posted by: NJ Osprey | October 18, 2007 10:10 AM
Someone needs to make bumper stickers that say "Treaty of Tripoli, Article 11 beotch!" Then whichever site it's being sold in (or store) put it in the Christmas section.
Posted by: llDayo | October 18, 2007 10:17 AM
Anyone who puts those on their car/cubicle/wrist might as well also put on a sign that reads "If you enjoy getting a rise out of overly emotional idiots, wish me happy holidays!"
On a related note, someone should organize a mass mailing of "Happy Holidays!" and "Seasons Greetings!" cards to Bill O'Reilly this nondenominational holiday season.
Posted by: jpf | October 18, 2007 10:22 AM
For the Humanist Association's last Solstice Party, we made up buttons reading: "The tilt of the Earth's axis is the reason for the season". Ultimately, that is the truest answer -- the ancient Europeans (as soon as they got a handle on practical astronomy) made it into a festival of returning light. The Johnny-come-lately Christians just glommed their holiday onto that, dressing up a few of the pagan traditions in Christian garb along the way.
And frankly, this WASA (like "WASP", only atheist) couldn't give a damn what greeting I get. To me it basically boils down to: "Have a nice week off work, and some time with the family; maybe a trip to see some of them". Oh yes, and a couple of family birthdays on or near the 25th.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | October 18, 2007 10:23 AM
Dammit, everybody's going to celebrate my holiday or I'm going to go mental!
Sorry...thought for a second that I was Bill O'Reilly.
Seriously, what does it say about the country that Christians are getting upset that they cannot wish Jews, Muslims, and atheists "Merry Christmas" without somebody telling them "um, don't you think that's inappropriate"? People are so insecure that even a whisper that they may be acting insensitively is responded to with over-the-top hostility.
Posted by: RickD | October 18, 2007 10:31 AM
If it offends folks that I use a generic greeting such as "Happy Holidays" because I don't particularly know which winter holidays the person I am greeting happens to celebrate...well, that is their problem, not mine.
At least I don't say "Bah, Humbug"...which would often be my first choice, since I don't really do holidays all that well.
Posted by: Elaine | October 18, 2007 10:40 AM
Also note that they're opening a new theater of the Holiday Wars:
How long until O'Reilly starts his public denunciations of those who use the phrase "turkey day"?
Posted by: jpf | October 18, 2007 10:58 AM
Posted by: BobApril | October 18, 2007 11:04 AM
"Aren't we forgetting the true meaning of this day, the birth of Santa? " - Bart Simpson
Posted by: Salad Is Slaughter | October 18, 2007 11:09 AM
Just wish them "Happy Juletide". "Jul" was the old traditional midwinter celebration marking the return of the sun. The Christians had to try to paint it over to get rid of it. Did not work fully here in Scandinavia. All the Scandinavian countries still use Jol or Jul as the name of the season.
Also one could tell them to find out when this Jesus guy was born and celebrate it at that time, leave our old merry fest alone. Christianity has all but ruined it.
Posted by: Baldur | October 18, 2007 11:10 AM
An American tradition? Really?
Posted by: Dunc | October 18, 2007 11:20 AM
Of if you really want to be a smartass, just keep pestering them as to why they are proclaiming today in the name of the pagan god Thor?
Posted by: jpf | October 18, 2007 11:21 AM
But wait, that's not all! Order within the next 15 minutes, and we'll throw in a FREE 20oz bottle of Jew repellent spray! This spray will keep away all non-perfected christians, as well as other non-believers in the holy spirit of Christmas, including liberal atheists, gays, mexicans, blacks, even secular women! This is your ultimate weapon in the upcoming holy war on Christmas, now go forth and spread the Jihad!
Posted by: Shap | October 18, 2007 11:21 AM
When I was in retail some years back I became sufficiently fed up with the beginnings of this trend that I began wishing people would "enjoy the religious and/or secular holiday(s) of their choice". Most people found it amusing. Those who found it upsetting I knew to avoid in the future...
Posted by: Chris Anderson | October 18, 2007 11:25 AM
Christmas is my favorite secular holiday.
Truly. I'm about as atheistic as they come, but I'll always say Merry Christmas. The religious origin of the word and the holiday no longer belongs to just the superstitious. No more than "bless you" belongs to the religious when someone sneezes or "goddamn" means anything more than I'm pissed. The very word "holiday" has its root in "holy day" I would surmise, but I'm not opposed to calling Independence Day a holiday since I don't have to work.
Christians need to face facts: Christmas isn't about the mythical Christ, its about a juxtaposition of commerce and socialization.
My bumpersticker: "Merry Christmas: my favorite atheist holiday"
Posted by: Yenald Looshi | October 18, 2007 11:40 AM
For what it's worth, Christmas is not formed from "Christ's mass". Check out the other -- Martinmas, Candlemas, and Lammas. Christmas is simply Christians rebranding the pagan Yuletide.
So, here's wishing everybody a cool Yule.
Posted by: Watt de Fawke | October 18, 2007 12:07 PM
Like some have said here, I don't care how people wish me greetings, and living in South Africa it is quite generic because there is quite a mix of cultures and religions. I am not particularly interested in the history of the titles of the holidays or why they are celebrated. In my lifetime, Christmas has formed its own meaning to me, and it develops throughout my lifetime (especially now that I have children). I could give a rats ass about what a christian or anyone else tries to tell me I should remember about the holiday or which holiday I should remember for that matter. The holiday is mine just like for everyone else, and I will make of it what I will.
Posted by: scienceteacherinexile | October 18, 2007 12:37 PM
Funny how it is some of the more obnoxious christians who are turning a simple holiday greet into an attack on all people not in lock step with them.
Posted by: Janine | October 18, 2007 12:49 PM
I am actually in many ways on their side, in the sense that I don't really see banning the use of Merry Christmas or any such thing as anything other than infantile and unnecessary. I'm an atheist and if a Muslim wishes me happy Ramadan or whatever, I think I can live with it without feeling terribly oppressed.
So whilst I was inclined to support them in their pro-Christmas inclinations, I cannot imagine anything more perfectly designed to make me never want to celebrate Christmas again than this nonsense.
Christmas - an appropriated pagan celebration and a spectacular carnival of consumerist avarice are the reason for the season. Not so catchy a bumper sticker but far more accurate.
Posted by: Matthew Young | October 18, 2007 1:02 PM
Yenald Looshi wrote:
Mine too! I'm an atheist and I have no problem saying that I celebrate "Christmas." I don't keep the Estre in Easter and -- as far as I know -- I've had nothing to do with the Hallo still being in Ween. In fact, the more people begin to use the word "Christmas" to refer to the trees, gifts, fellowship, family, food, giving, and merriment the more secular it becomes. The Religious Right doesn't realize what they're doing with wanting everyone to say Christmas. It's officially lost its brand distinction. It's turning into the holiday equivalent of "ceremonial deism."
Good.
In fact, there should be nothing more upsetting to the Merry Christmas martyrs than people having and wishing a Merry Christmas with not a sign or sight of religion. So I will really piss them off now. I'm an atheist -- and Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas. There's no wrong way to celebrate Christmas. Take the Christ right out of it. Works just as well. Thanks.
I liked that at first, but when I thought about it I realized that had I just seen that without your back-story I would have assumed you were either a Jehovah's Witness or a strict Puritan variation of Christianity.
Posted by: Sastra | October 18, 2007 1:02 PM
Ah, time to renew my campaign to "put the X back in Xmas." It comes earlier every year...
Posted by: les | October 18, 2007 1:39 PM
Why not just wish everyone a Merry Chrismahanakwansica like that horrible cell phone commerical?
Personally I respond to "Merry Christmas" wishes with "Happy Hanukkah", riles them up every time.
Posted by: J | October 18, 2007 1:47 PM
It seems to me this whole issue is less about defending Christmas and more about instilling a sense of victimization and oppression in Christians.
After all, it's very empowering being part of a victimized minority kept down by The Man and the secular humanists that are plotting at this very moment to destroy our family values, mandate gay marriage, turn the government over to the UN, and outlaw God, Jesus and puppies.
Posted by: Narc | October 18, 2007 1:47 PM
So the dictionaries are wrong? Where does the word come from then?
Posted by: JuliaL | October 18, 2007 2:52 PM
As the X is an historical symbol for the word "Christ" and not some sort of avoidance of "Christ" or a change in the meaning of the word "Christmas," there doesn't seem to me to be any real difference. So why, please, are you eager to use the one-character symbol for "Christ" rather than the six letters? Just takes up less space?
Posted by: JuliaL | October 18, 2007 3:01 PM
Posted by: llDayo | October 18, 2007 3:11 PM
As a Christian, I am personally more offended by the commercialization of Christmas. I cannot stand going to any store from before Labor Day until after the first of the new year. I am with the person who would love to say, "Bah humbug!"
I am also aware that the church chose that date arbitrarily to celebrate Christ's birth. And yes, I am aware that we have "Christianized" pagan aspects from that time of the year. However, since the town hall of Bethlehem didn't keep accurate birth records then, the church had to choose some day to celebrate his birth.
To those who say, "Jesus is the reason for the season" I say, "None of it would matter if it weren't for Easter!" And (unfortunately) that holiday is becoming more and more commercialized.
Today is the feast day for St. Luke, Evangelist and Physician. Didn't see any cards for that one!
BTW you can wish me anything you want in December;-)
Posted by: Rev. AJB | October 18, 2007 3:41 PM
That's the part that I don't get from anyone - why would you object to any well wishes from anyone, even if it's done in their own preferred idiom? I can't imagine being offended by someone saying "Merry Christmas" and I am far more likely to say that than "Happy Holidays" myself. If I know I'm talking to someone who is Jewish, I would be more likely to wish them a happy Hannukah, but if I was Jewish I certainly wouldn't be offended if someone wished me a Merry Christmas. The whole thing is absurd. Someone is wishing you well - say thank you, and to you as well, and then shut the fuck up.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | October 18, 2007 4:02 PM
Ed, "Merry Christmas" doesn't offend me personally. I just take it to mean, "enjoy your Chinese food and Blockbuster rentals."
However, I have Jewish family members who have an oppressed minority complex. They will get offended if someone says "Merry Christmas." If we're really lucky, my family gets to watch a shout-off between my ultra-Orthodox uncle and a Christian Nation junkie. Fun times all around. The whole thing is absurd, especially since Hanukah is like the least important holiday of the year.
I always say, "Happy Holidays." Either the other person won't care, or he will care and I have no qualms against offending him.
Posted by: Brandon | October 18, 2007 4:13 PM
I agree with REV AJB. As a christian, it does not bother me if someone says hello, blessed be, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays or whatever.
What does bother me is the secularization and commercialization of Christmas. Just as Christianity usurped pagan traditions to create Christmas, non-Christians are pushing Jesus further and further from the holiday.
Posted by: Mike | October 18, 2007 4:19 PM
Actually, it's not the letter English letter X (eks), it's the Greek letter X (chi) As in Chi rho iota sigma tau omicron sigma, Christos. His Greek name.
Posted by: Sam Lewis | October 18, 2007 5:15 PM
I like the reason for the season; Santa's a pretty cool guy, from what I hear.
Posted by: M | October 18, 2007 5:42 PM
Yes, the use of the X didn't begin with English, where the use of X can carry connotations of unknown, variable-valued, and/or empty-space. So there's no need to object to its use in "Xmas," which can even reasonably be pronounced as "Christmas."
Rev.AJB has the right attitude, I think. If someone is good-hearted enough to wish me well, I appreciate it.
Posted by: JuliaL | October 18, 2007 5:42 PM
They're now selling "personal Christmas defense kits."
Even the War on Christmas has been over-commercialized. Good grief.
Posted by: Grumpy | October 18, 2007 6:24 PM
Eh, you can put the x in Xmas while Kiss puts the x in Sex.
Such a useful letter...
Posted by: MightyLambchop | October 18, 2007 11:24 PM
Heh, all the better for flipping them around backward in the parking lot!
I wish I had the nerve to swipe 'em, but that's stealing and I don't do that.
I am a graphic design student and I think I'll make me a bumper sticker that says: "Happy Holidays; because NOT everyone is a Christian!" Also, I tend to display my bumper stickers on the inside of my rear window ever since my "Freedom of religion means ANY religion" bumper sticker got keyed a while back...
Posted by: twincats | October 18, 2007 11:58 PM
So why, please, are you eager to use the one-character symbol for "Christ" rather than the six letters? Just takes up less space?
Well... yes.
The guys that started using "X" ("chi") were a bunch of Christian scribes that had to do everything by hand. So using "Xian" is actually a revered Christian tradition. Plus it was very decorative.
Evidence
(For the Latin and Insular Bookhand challenged, that reads "Here are the generations of Christ")
Posted by: Graculus | October 19, 2007 12:01 AM
Yup. I'd put this one on my bumper:
"It is STILL a wonderful life - Merry Christmas!"
Been doing it for decades with no embarrassment whatsoever. Don't subscribe to the superstitions but dearly love the sentiment.
Sign me "Glad to have the opportunity."
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | October 19, 2007 12:42 AM
I'm a Christmas-observing atheist who wishes people Merry Christmas and I would never wish anyone wearing one of those "Christmas Defense" bracelets Happy Holidays ...
I would greet them with "Io Saturnalia"
Posted by: James | October 19, 2007 5:51 AM
I'm putting a nativity scene in my front yard this year, with a little baby santa in the manger, and everything.
Posted by: Fox1 | October 19, 2007 7:00 AM
Speaking of manger scenes, a good way to rile up Bill Donohue of the Catholic League is to sell/display/erect a manger scene depicting the "cast" as non-human personages; i.e., a nativity scene of dogs, cats, snowpeople, etc. Makes him rail on about offensive "hate speech" and the like.
Wonder what Donohue thinks of the nativity scenes that have all the principals depicted as Native Americans? (and Baby Jesus in full papoose getup). Funny, he doesn't seem to complain about the typical WASPiness of most manger scenes, including the typical blue-eyed blonde Baby Jesus, despite the fact that Jesus and his family weren't really of Northern European descent.
Posted by: Adrienne | October 19, 2007 4:32 PM
Last year in our town, I saw a Christmas display that had it all-- the nativity scene, Santa Claus, and Mickey Mouse, all in a row. What else could you wish those people, but "Happy Holidays!"
Posted by: hoary puccoon | October 19, 2007 7:44 PM
I like the "Cool Yule" idea.
In case you're not aware, "Holiday" comes from "Holy Day", so if it is your intention to avoid the religious undertones of "Merry Christmas" by saying "Happy Holiday" instead, you're missing the boat.
Posted by: Soitgoes | October 22, 2007 1:42 PM
I've used "Happy Solstice" as a greeting and "Warm Pagan Solstice Wishes" on my greeting cards, with a hand written message on the back, "Escalating the war on xmas one little card at a time." Ha! It wasn't until the fundies got their dogma in a bunch about this that I began researching the history of xmas and found out they co-opted exsisting, mostly pagan, observances. Flynn's "The Trouble with Christmas" is a good resource.
Posted by: lurch | October 23, 2007 7:52 PM