Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Gay Parents and Small Samples

Expect this book to get huge play in the religious right media, starting with this article at the AFA’s news page. A Canadian woman raised by a gay father has a new book out and, naturally, the anti-gay crowd will push the absurd notion that one bad gay father reflects on all gay parents in the world. Logic? Logic just gets in the way of a perfectly good prejudice.

The author and speaker says it was a painful and also “healing” process to write down every detail she could remember of being raised by a father who welcomed numerous male sex partners into the family’s home on a regular basis.

Yeah, because straight parents never bring a string of sex partners into the lives of their children. That never goes on. Of course it goes on, and of course they know it goes on, but there’s one key difference between the two: straight parents who do the same thing are not considered as representative of all straight parents, while a single gay parent who does it is placed in the spotlight as the archetype of all gay parents.

No parent, gay or straight, should bring casual sex partners in to the lives of their children. That’s something that can be and is agreed upon by good parents regardless of their sexual orientation. The rest of her complaint is no more compelling:

In the book, she chronicles how, as a young girl, she often wished she were a boy.

“It’s a very difficult thing to describe,” she shares. “You doubt your own sexuality because you’re looking at your parent’s example. And for me, when I looked at my father I did not feel affirmed as a young girl growing up, nor as a woman. My own femininity was denied in that kind of situation. Women were not valued.”

That’s just bad parenting and it has nothing to do with homosexuality. Gay kids growing up with straight parents experience the same kind of doubt based on the behavior they see. Good parents, regardless of sexual orientation, will teach their kids that they should be who they are. If they’re attracted to the same gender then they’re gay and there’s nothing wrong with that. If they’re attracted to the opposite gender then they’re straight and there’s nothing wrong with that.

This is part of that ridiculous notion that anti-gay bigots have that gay people think everyone should be gay. That’s utter nonsense. No gay person I know thinks I should be gay, they think I should be what I am. The only ones who think that way are the anti-gay bigots, who think all gay people should be what they want them to be rather than what they are.