Dispatches from the Creation Wars

The Isiah Thomas Experiment

A couple people have emailed me and asked why I haven’t written about the firing of Isiah Thomas as coach and GM of the New York Knicks. I told one that I had to stop laughing first, but the Onion made that more difficult with this article, which reveals that Thomas’ tenure with the Knicks was actually a large-scale psychological experiment with Knicks fans as the test subjects. I can buy that. You got a better explanation?

What cracks me up the most is that the Knicks have kept him on in an unspecified position but forbid him from having any contact with the players. “You’re poison. Your very presence among the players destroys this organization. But here’s half a million a year to keep your mouth shut.” Hilarious. But really, I’m sad. Isiah will never have a job in basketball again other than announcer, which means we’ll miss out on so many horrible trades and signing bonuses. I won’t have Isiah Thomas to kick around anymore.