Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
It's the end of the world as we know it:
An elusive group just outside of Abilene, Texas is claiming the end of the world is coming in less than a week.The House of Yahweh recently gave ABC reporter Brian Ross access to their west Texas compound. Yahweh leader Yisrayl Hawkins says a nuclear holocaust will come June 12th and only members of his group will be saved.
All group members change their last names to Hawkins and live in the compound.
Here's a simple rule I find useful: if you belong to a religious group that has a "compound," things are not going to end well.
Politics
Comments
Question, though: who is it that calls it a "compound" -- The news network or the group itself? I've wondered about that ever since Waco.
Posted by: countlurkula | June 11, 2008 9:36 AM
Is that anywhere near Crawford or where ever it is Bush has *his* compound? His is certainly a compound, and if *anyone* could cause the world to end, he could.
Posted by: Marc Buhler | June 11, 2008 9:44 AM
Does it really matter? If it's a compound and they call it a Happy Palace, it's still fully of bat shit looney toons.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 11, 2008 9:45 AM
http://yahweh.com/Newsletters/nl02-06-2.htm
They tried this same stunt back in 2006, basically the same prediction except they edited the date.
Posted by: Nick | June 11, 2008 9:51 AM
Oh no they dont, our company is having a big picnic tomorrow. There's going to be free booze.
So there damn well better NOT be a fuckin' nukular holocaust!! =P
Cheers.
Posted by: FastLane | June 11, 2008 9:51 AM
That's the day after the new iPhone is released. I knew that something was up with that...
Posted by: yoshi | June 11, 2008 9:54 AM
Rev., it may be my tinfoil hat talking, but if the word "compound" has negative connotations (like militaristic, subversive, dangerous) it's a possibly interesting question who is doing the naming. You might think a little differently about the group if they lived on a "campus" or a "village" or even a "commune." I'm not sticking up for their beliefs, mind you, but just asking.
Posted by: countlurkula | June 11, 2008 10:04 AM
Abilene is about three hours from Crawford, so it's probably not Bush related - and besides, if Bush is getting ready to immanentize the eschaton, he'll head to Paraguay first. Perhaps we should keep an eye on his itinerary.
(and another thing - haven't these people ever looked at a Mayan calendar? we have a good four years left..)
Posted by: Andrea | June 11, 2008 10:05 AM
What, again? You'd've thought people would have learnt by now that if you insist on predicting the end of the world at least be smart enough not to mention anything so tediously falsifiable as an exact date.
Posted by: Lilly de Lure | June 11, 2008 10:22 AM
If they really believed their prophecy, they'd be maxing out their credit cards.
Posted by: phil | June 11, 2008 10:31 AM
The end of the Mayan calendar is just the end of this world. When it ends we will start the next world. This has happened a few times in the past. In fact we are currently living in the 5th world. It's all based on the magic cycle.
The strength of magic is cyclic sine wave, about 5000 thousand years peak to peak. We been in the no-magic valley for about 2000 years and were just about to cross the threshold into a time when magic will reawaken. (The threshold is located at just above -1/2, so that in a given world there are about 3000 yeas of magic and 2000 years without it.) That is what the Mayan calendar is tracking.
The first absolute proof that we have crossed into the 6th age, or world as the Mayans called it, will occur on 12 January 2012. A dragon will be seen over the skies of Denver. After that things will accelerate quickly.
Native Americans, who have preserved their traditions, will be the first group use magic in a big way. They will take over nuclear missile silos throughout the mid west and lay claim to everything west of the Mississippi River. There will be a brutal civil war. But ultimately US will be powerless to stop them and the Native American Nation will be officially recognized in 2018.
Want to know more? Send me $1000 and I will send you a complete history of things to come. The knowledge I give will be an invaluable guide, greatly enhancing your chance to survive, or even thrive, in the impending chaos. Why take chances with you life and your family. Send your money today!
(Virgin daughters also accepted in lieu of other payment.)
Posted by: Abby Normal | June 11, 2008 10:48 AM
Does the Vatican count?
Posted by: Theron | June 11, 2008 11:14 AM
Abby this is the reality police. Please drop the Shadowrun source book and walk, slowly, to the man in the white jacket with the nice long sleeved coat. ;D
Posted by: Who Cares | June 11, 2008 11:27 AM
Dunkelzahn told me that they're moving the date of the apocalypse, chummer. Guess he needs to order more six-sided dice.
Posted by: chancelikely | June 11, 2008 11:33 AM
Dear Abby - "..and I feel fine [again]." :D -DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 11, 2008 11:39 AM
The leader Yizrayl Hawkins? This place is down near the border? Maybe he should Mexify his name to Jizzrayl.
If I was bar owner down there, I'd be puttting up signs that say "Free beer yesterday, free beer after the Nu-Q-Lar Apokolisp--no free beer today."
Posted by: democommie | June 11, 2008 11:39 AM
Uh, I think somebody got the surname wrong. This apocalypse is actually part of a new comedy routine by Yisrael Campbell, no? http://yisraelcampbell.com
Posted by: Matt Platte | June 11, 2008 11:51 AM
24 wives is a little more than bigamy. What would be the word for that? Quattuorvigenagamy?
Posted by: Wes | June 11, 2008 12:16 PM
Sweet! I'll let you know when I see it.
You sure it's not a Psychlo ship instead of a dragon?
Posted by: Andrea | June 11, 2008 12:17 PM
countlurkula:
I can leave a "campus" or a "village" or even a "commune" whenever I feel like it. Also, they tend not to burn down in a horrible armed conflagration with the feds while compounds always have that as an option. Mostly though, your average compound gets raided at some point.
I probably would have passed on the masters degree if the University of Maryland never let me leave the campus without an escort and they were stockpiling munitions in the Student Union. Thought e CIA did like to recruit there, so maybe they were moles...
Posted by: Keith | June 11, 2008 12:20 PM
Silence your blasphemy chancelikely and Who Cares. There is no God but Dowd and Hume is his prophet.
(Plus, if you join me I'll give you a cut.)
Posted by: Abby Normal | June 11, 2008 12:22 PM
Keith:
Or Washington DC? :)
Posted by: Andrea | June 11, 2008 12:34 PM
That's kind of the point of questioning the term. Do the members of the House of Yahweh prevent people from leaving if they feel like it? Did Ed and Elaine Brown live on a "compound," or did they hole themselves up in their house in protest? Do people live in compounds because they are doing nefarious things in groups, or are they viewed as nefarious because their group home is called a compound? If the U.S. devolved completely into a fascist police state, you can bet your ass I'd be living on a "compound," and doing my best to remain there.
Posted by: Gretchen | June 11, 2008 12:49 PM
You know someone's a dodo when they're constantly wrong about something, and yet never stop to figure out WHY they're wrong every single time they predict the End of the World.
It's the same thing with those people who have been claiming for millenia that the Second Coming is imminent. After two thousand years (almost), "imminent" seems to take on a different meaning.
Here's my prophesy: On Friday, we'll still be here posting on this blog, and Hawkins and his crew will be making excuses for why they were wrong. Again.
Anyone taking bets on which prophesy will come true?
Posted by: gary l. day | June 11, 2008 1:16 PM
Did he specify a time? I'd really like to get my fiancee in the mood before it's too late. Oh wait, I'd be doing that anyway...
Posted by: Raging Bee | June 11, 2008 1:31 PM
It's said that one definition of insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | June 11, 2008 1:48 PM
Oh man! Yisrael "Buffalo Bill" Hawkins! I had been wondering what happened to that guy.
Posted by: Coin | June 11, 2008 2:33 PM
I vaguely recall the story of one guy who did a careful study of occult texts, did all the magic spells and eventually came up with a date for the end of the world, unfortunately for him it was several years in the past. Still if we didn't notice that time...
Posted by: Matt | June 11, 2008 2:49 PM
It would be nice if the Lord God really did take everyone who believes that the world is going to end on Tuesday/next week/in three weeks/in 2009/whenever off to the great beyond, because that would remove another bunch of knuckle-draggers from our world. When did America start going completely insane? I lived there from birth to 29, I've been in Europe now, and it really does seem to have become loony-world since that time. Mind you, politics in my country of Latvia is no better, but there is hardly anyone here who believes that the earth is 6,000 years old because the Bible says so and that Noah had some (apparently very small) dinosaurs on the ark. Gary, your prophesy will come true. America, I grieve for you!
Posted by: Karl in Latvia | June 11, 2008 2:49 PM
Gretchen: Yes, that's what I meant. The link you gave is revealing (down in the footnotes), and pretty much answers my question. Thanks.
Posted by: countlurkula | June 11, 2008 3:22 PM
If these nuts in Texas said the world was coming to a horrific end, but didn't fix an exact date, they would be Southern Baptists. And then, instead of being labeled dangerous and at risk of arrest, they would be in the state legislature and governor's office. They could also get funds from government "faith based" initiatives. Did anyone else think it was odd when the FLDS compound was raided, some of the women and kids were taken away in buses from a Baptist church?
Posted by: soboco | June 11, 2008 3:22 PM
Here's a link to a short article that is honest about the intent behind having a local Baptist Church step in to ferry members of another religion:
http://www.floridabaptistwitness.com/8724.article
Posted by: soboco | June 11, 2008 3:29 PM
Reminds me of a sight gag once used on a Wayne and Shuster Comedy Hour show I saw (Canadians will know how I just dated myself)....
guy in a long beard and cloak walking down the street with a sign that says "World Ends at Midnight"...then turns and on the other side it says "12:30 in Newfoundland"
...the American translation would be "11pm Central, 9 Pacific"
Posted by: BAllanJ | June 11, 2008 4:22 PM
Hugeamy.
Posted by: Steve Reuland | June 11, 2008 5:42 PM
Icositetragamy.
Posted by: Anon | June 11, 2008 6:02 PM
I believe the word polygamy covers it.
Posted by: Tophe | June 11, 2008 6:13 PM
I am awarding three (3) arbitrarily valued internet/geek points to Abby Normal.
Posted by: Sivi Volk | June 11, 2008 7:10 PM
Posted by: Ian H Spedding FCD | June 11, 2008 7:40 PM
Megagamy?
That kinda sounds like something that ought to be destroying Tokyo Tower.
Posted by: Coin | June 11, 2008 7:51 PM
Does anyone suppose that the folks from the FLDS were upset that their loved ones might be "brainwashed" by those Baptist fundies?
What do you call having 24 wives? another "definition of insanity".
Posted by: democommie | June 11, 2008 8:55 PM
I keep telling people that, but they never listen to me!
Posted by: jpf | June 11, 2008 9:00 PM
A little obscure reference, and most of the readers will be too young to have seen the movie, but back in 1956 there was a Danny Kaye movie called "The Court Jester" (Co-starred Basil Rathbone, Glynnis Johns, and Angela Lansbury). Danny Kaye's character was named Hawkins, and every time I encounter that name I recall that movie, and possibly one of the best comic 'bits' in any movie (aside from "Who's on First") is when Hawkins is about to joust with another knight, but the witch has put poison in one of the toast cups.
"The pellet with the poison is in the flagon with the dragon, but the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true"
Could this be the liturgy of this nutball cult? Hey, it makes as much sense as any other...
"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh" Robert Heinlein
Posted by: Blaidd Drwg | June 11, 2008 9:19 PM
Abby, you are brilliant.
I'm currently a resident of the great nation of Cascadia (specifically Olympia, WA), and every word that you said could have been dictated verbatim from the conversations I hear from hookah bars or coffee shops on any given day.
Now that I've thought about that, my glee at your satire is dampened by a sadness for my region...
Posted by: Colin Bartlett | June 11, 2008 11:04 PM
I'll be on doomsday watch.
Posted by: Kevin | June 11, 2008 11:18 PM
The end of the world is tomorrow? I paid my quarterly taxes today. I should have known.
Posted by: Rod | June 12, 2008 12:17 AM
Well, damn! Just my luck! My long awaited prepaid vacation starts June 20. And the plane fare is non-refundable. But...there may be some good news: looks like I can get back some of the money for my hotel booking! But I won't have long to spend it, will I? So I think I'll have a big farewell shindig. Par-tee!
Posted by: bastion | June 12, 2008 12:24 AM
If these nuts in Texas said the world was coming to a horrific end, but didn't fix an exact date, they would be Southern Baptists. And then, instead of being labeled dangerous and at risk of arrest, they would be in the state legislature and governor's office. They could also get funds from government "faith based" initiatives. Did anyone else think it was odd when the FLDS compound was raided, some of the women and kids were taken away in buses from a Baptist church?
Posted by: soboco | >>>
Yeah and if Hockey Goons used knives instead of fists, they'd be murderers. What's your point, Lib?
Posted by: MAtt | June 12, 2008 6:40 AM
I wonder if these folks try to get 2%-10/Net 30 billing terms.
Posted by: democommie | June 12, 2008 9:31 AM
10 hours, 51 minutes and counting.
Posted by: llDayo | June 12, 2008 10:44 AM
We just had a fire drill. Maybe that's what he was thinking of.
Posted by: Abby Normal | June 12, 2008 11:16 AM
You didn't get my point Matt?
Posted by: soboco | June 12, 2008 11:33 AM
Are we dead yet?
Posted by: Captain Button | June 12, 2008 2:39 PM
I may be mistaken but I'm pretty sure that the Prophet Yisrayl Hawkins (all praises be to him) not only has called for this prediction a few times before but he owns a company that sells survival gear and supplies like freeze dried food etc...
I also think that there is some requirement that his flock buy only from him. That last one was a shocker I know.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 12, 2008 2:39 PM
Abby, as long as it isn't fourth edition, I'll totally pay up.
Posted by: Shar | June 12, 2008 4:57 PM
Dammit...I missed the end of the world again!
Posted by: Dave S. | June 13, 2008 6:49 AM
Best. Apocalypse. EVUH.
I mean, wasn't that just the coolest? The nuclear hellfire, the mutant baby seals, the dancing messiahs in kilts? Wow! I wish we could have an end of the world like that every week!
For those that slept through it and need to catch up, a few tips are available over at Hyphoid Logic.
Posted by: Mike O'Risal | June 13, 2008 7:52 AM
Hey did anyone in the Denver area see that dragon fly-over?
I love a picture of that! -DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 13, 2008 8:19 AM
How about some follow-up reporting, Ed? Did the world end, or not?
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | June 13, 2008 9:19 AM
Turns out he meant June 12, Alpha Centauri time. Which makes sense, as that exactly matches up with the end of the Mayan calendar and the predictions I revealed a couple days ago. Sorry DJ, you've got to wait 4 more years for the dragon.
Shar, I see you are familiar with the teachings of Dowd. I'm afraid the secrets of the earlier editions could be harmful to the uninitiated. They are only revealed to the inner circles of the church. But don't feel daunted. Send in your donation today and you'll be on your way. A vast trove of knowledge and riches is right around the corner.
Posted by: Abby Normal | June 13, 2008 9:25 AM
Yisrayl Hawkins, can I have your car, now?
No?
Why not?
(P.S. Who put the "hawk" in Hawkins, cha-cha?)
Posted by: Kristine | June 13, 2008 11:40 AM
Abby - Great 4 more years for me to save up for the beer. ;) -DJ
PS Is that Alpha Centauri A, B or C? Will the Robinson Fmmily miss out on all that rapturous fun?? Inquiring minds need to know.
PPS Still feel fine though.
Posted by: DingoJack | June 13, 2008 11:47 AM