Ed Brayton is a freelance writer and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
You knew that was coming, right? The flooding in Iowa and other states obviously has to be the fault of God trying to take out all the gays and lesbians. A reader sends along a statement from Jason Lerner, a fundie nutball who ran against Dennnis Kucinich (and lost in the primaries).
I've been blaming the atrocity that occurred to New Orleans by a storm called Katrina on the area's sin. That city was one of the most corrupt cities I've ever toured, even more corrupt than the abomination of a little sodomite parade today in Cleveland.So I began wondering about Cedar Rapids, Iowa. It's innocent Iowa. What could possibly be wrong with an area in "God's country".
I love the fact that these idiots think that entire states are full of nothing but Christians who don't do things that are sinful at all.
Anyway, I learned that Cedar Rapids was an absolute city of corruption. There are about 124,000 residents in the actual city. And in Iowa, gambling is legal, whereby there are 17 casinos. Embryonic stem-cell research is funded. Liberal governors have run the state into the ground for the past 20 years including a former conservative Republican many years ago. Human cloning is legal. Referendums by the citizens are often shot down. Spending for education is the most consistent increase of any issue. The University of Iowa is among the ten best colleges to party in the country. The University of Iowa is very homosexual-oriented. Grinnell is extremely homosexual-oriented. I found five blood alleys in Cedar Rapids. Homosexual organizations are very popular in Cedar Rapids and Des Moines. Prostitution and adult entertainment is actually worse than Cleveland, which has a population of nearly 400,000. There were nearly 100 bars in a radius of one mile although the nearby college is dry.
He then listed the names and addresses of every gay organization in the area, along with every abortion clinic and so forth. Fred Phelps would be proud.
Politics
Comments
The insanity runs deep in some people...
Posted by: Bob Vaiden | June 24, 2008 9:49 AM
What is a "blood alley"?
Posted by: Lance | June 24, 2008 9:56 AM
Ed:
Like I said at Jesus' General, this guy ought to go deliver the message in person. I'm sure some of those sandbaggin' sodomites would appreciate his sermonizing. Besides he could help, either filling sandbags or being the filling in a sandbag.
Posted by: democommie | June 24, 2008 9:56 AM
"There were nearly 100 bars in a radius of one mile "
Heh. Welcome to Iowa. And Wisconsin. And Minnesota. And the Dakota's. If you don't find at least two bars per every one church - something is very wrong with your town.
Posted by: yoshi | June 24, 2008 10:01 AM
What exactly is a blood alley?
Posted by: Chris Bell | June 24, 2008 10:01 AM
... so the entire country is doomed, then? I mean, what state would be free of housing "sin" at the state-level? And don't forget all the pornography out there masquerading as federally protected "free speech"!
Would the decision of Roe v Wade mean that the entire US is wallowing in the death of innocents? What about all the corruption taking place in the nation's capital?
Seriously, based on my "sin analysis", any natural disaster that hits the United States can be justified as "God hates us."
Please, please! Can we end the stupid?
Posted by: Umlud | June 24, 2008 10:03 AM
[citation really, really, really needed]
Also, consider this slight tweak of that rant:
Just drop a couple of sentences, and this rant becomes the best marketing promotion that the Cedar Rapids Chamber of Commerce could want.
~David D.G.
Posted by: David D.G. | June 24, 2008 10:03 AM
What is a "blood alley"?
I would hazard a guess, that a "Blood Alley" is a clinic where abortions are performed - a reference, of course, to the 'good old days' when abortion was illegal, and abortions were performed in back alleys, under fetid conditions, and those sinful heathens were allowed to suffer and die for their sins.
Now that getting rid of the consequenses of sin does not injure, scar, or kill, it is so much worse - we are encouraging people to engage in premarital sex, by removing the deadly danger!!!1!!!
(So say the nutjobs)
There once was a lady named Wilde,
Who kept herself quite undefiled,
By thinking of Jesus,
Infectious diseases,
And the dangers of having a child.
Posted by: Blaidd Drwg | June 24, 2008 10:08 AM
Doing a quick google on "blood alley" I found:
* A 1955 film starring John Wayne and Lauren Bacall
* A reference from California to sections of road/highway notorious for multi-car accidents.
* A reference from Vancouver to an alley area (I believe) that has junkies.
There was no reference to "blood alley" in urbandictionary.com - my usual drop-in location for slang terminology with which I'm not familiar.
However, based on the lucidity of the letter's writer, I don't doubt a possibly different meaning.
Posted by: Umlud | June 24, 2008 10:11 AM
I believe that "blood alley" may refer to abortion clinics.
And if God selectively zaps liberal cities, then what about certain European cities that are far, far further down that road than any American city will ever be? If Cedar Rapids just got hit, then why wasn't Amsterdam turned into a smoking crater years ago?
Posted by: Emory | June 24, 2008 10:13 AM
What I never understand is, what the hell is hell for? Why punish people on the earth when you can just wait an infinitesimal period (in God time) and send them to hell?
Seems strange and petty that god would punish in both places.
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 24, 2008 10:16 AM
"Prostitution and adult entertainment is actually worse than Cleveland."
does this mean the prostitutes and strippers are uglier, or don't perform quite as well as cleveland's prostitutes and strippers? how does he know? and why pick on cleveland? i have seen ugly strippers in many cities, not just cleveland. (ever been to fort wayne, indiana? two words: ugg & lee.)
Posted by: coreydbarbarian | June 24, 2008 10:19 AM
I assume all those churches in Iowa were not affected by the flood, then?
Posted by: Kristine | June 24, 2008 10:21 AM
There were nearly 100 bars in a radius of one mile although the nearby college is dry.
Um, Jason? There are nearly 100 bars in a radius of one mile because the nearby college is dry.
Posted by: David | June 24, 2008 10:23 AM
"What could possibly be wrong with an area in "God's country"."
-Wetland removal.
-Tallgrass prairies replaced by plowed fields.
-Floodplains filled and developed.
Thank you for playing today, Mr. Lerner. You do not get a copy of our home game and, obtw, your bigotry is showing. You might want to tuck that in.
Posted by: Jason Failes | June 24, 2008 10:28 AM
I live in Edinburgh, which has an area called the Pink Triangle (yes, you guessed right) and an area called the Pubic Triangle (strip joints, euphemistic massage parlours and the like). We have thriving prostitution down at the docks and the Scots drink with the sort of grim determination matched only by the Russians and *some* Scandinavians. They also don't elect Conservatives. Oh and gay marriage is perfectly legal, as are abortions. And the Scots' track record on cloning and stem-cell research is pretty healthy, although that generally doesn't happen in Edinburgh, but I do believe Charles Darwin studied here for a few years as a young 'un, although I don't think he accomplished very much.
Not that I wish to tempt fate or anything, but there has been precious little smiting around here for quite some time. I'll get back to you by the weekend and let you know if things change.
Posted by: Matthew | June 24, 2008 10:29 AM
Oh, that wasn't a quote from the Iowa tourism people listing reasons why we should visit?
Damn.
Posted by: Amadán | June 24, 2008 10:36 AM
The one thing that struck me on his list of grievances is that the only increases in public funding there is for education.
As if that were a bad thing, even if true.
Posted by: BruceH | June 24, 2008 10:47 AM
"Not that I wish to tempt fate or anything, but there has been precious little smiting around here for quite some time. "
Well, you had a pretty bad fire in 2002.
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | June 24, 2008 10:49 AM
Grinnell is extremely homosexual-oriented.
He's right that Grinnell is probably the most gay friendly campus in the state. It also turns out it's share of godless alumni (he says proudly). Of course, it's also high and dry at the moment. I lived there in the summer of 1993 and the floods that summer didn't touch the town at all and from what I hear from acquaintances there it's not impacting the town at all.
Maybe god secretly likes gays? That, or the town was lucky enough to be built at the intersection of two railroads instead of along a river like Des Moines, Cedar Rapids and Iowa City. Take your pick.
Posted by: lgv | June 24, 2008 10:59 AM
And here Iowans are seeking a proposal to allow farmers to violate their contracts which set aside prairie land (deep root and water absorbing flora) so that they can plant more corn. I can't see how starting a new planting in late June will help them for this year, and I can definitely see how plowing up this land will increase the flooding next year.
Maybe God is also trying to make them stupid.
Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | June 24, 2008 10:59 AM
Some of the things I kind of understand why, as a fundie, he would be opposed. But... increased funding for education? WTF?
And what does voting down citizen proposals in referendums have to do with anything? Isn't that the point of democracy?
Posted by: Brian Larnder | June 24, 2008 11:05 AM
Yes, but we all know that the extra funding is going to go towards teaching our children to be gay.
Posted by: noncarborundum | June 24, 2008 11:07 AM
I'm trying to figure out why even the sternest moralist would put that sentence in a list of evils to oppose. Then I remembered this guy is a fundy wackaloon. (Unless I've totally misinterpreted his semi-literats rant).
Glad to see his research was so, um, thorough. When someone looks that hard for "blood alleys" (whatever they are), hookers, strip joints and bars....(nudge, wink).
Posted by: Eamon Knight | June 24, 2008 11:22 AM
And if we don't hear from you, should we quick turn on the news?
Posted by: Eamon Knight | June 24, 2008 11:26 AM
Lerner has it all wrong. Everyone knows that the floods happened because Iowa was the first state to give a black Muslim terrorist a majority of their vote in the primaries.
Posted by: tacitus | June 24, 2008 11:29 AM
You know...I'm from Iowa, and I've got to say that I really wish my state was this interesting.
After the 2005 trial in Dover, Pennsylvania several prominent televangelists predicted catastrophe would rain down upon that town. Three years later, we're still waiting.
In January, Mike Huckabee won the Republican primary. Less than six months later, half the state is underwater.
I'd say he's looking in the wrong place if he wants to condem something...
Posted by: Cheshire | June 24, 2008 11:31 AM
If you want a little chuckle, go to his home page
Of course, it's all about the persecution of Xtians.Posted by: Taz | June 24, 2008 11:35 AM
I was born in Cedar Rapids. I grew up in Eastern Iowa, mostly Iowa City.
This guy is full of it. I know, I know, no big surprise there. But homosexual-oriented? Please. While the U of I in Iowa City is fairly liberal and rather gay-friendly, the rest of the state is much like the rest of the country: Not opening their arms and welcoming of The Gays. Cedar Rapids is actually pretty old-school, with a substantial Czech population. Hardly bastions of gay-lovin' goodness.
Man. Fucktards in the morning really piss me off.
Posted by: Angela | June 24, 2008 11:36 AM
"The one thing that struck me on his list of grievances is that the only increases in public funding there is for education."
And, of course, we all KNOW how much the fundagelicals are in favor of public education in any form.
Fundies are opposed to ANY education that their church does not specifically endorse, and preferably write the cirricula for - with luck the textbooks as well, (they only really need one textbook, 3 guesses what that would be).
Posted by: Blaidd Drwg | June 24, 2008 11:37 AM
"Embryonic stem-cell research is funded."
Wow, that's second, well above the mysterious Blood Alleys. For some reason, that struck me as incongruous.
Also, after reading that paragraph, suddenly i want to move to Cedar Rapids! They fund education! And they like gays! I'm being serious, not snarky. Those are two extremely important issues to me :)
Posted by: Yttrai | June 24, 2008 11:41 AM
"Human cloning is legal."
how could this statement be true? i was under the impression that human cloning was banned on a federal level.
Posted by: coreydbarbarian | June 24, 2008 11:53 AM
The evidence clearly shows that God wipes out any place plagued with gayness. Soon the entire world will be flattened. Except for Iran, which has no homosexuals.
Posted by: ben z | June 24, 2008 12:01 PM
What I love is his God's Wrath 20/20 Hindsight binoculars. Wow, devastating flooding, must be Teh Gays! And too much money spent on education. God hates that!
So, my question is why doesn't he use his devastating insight into God's mind and actually predict where the next catastrophe will occur? It he predicts Biblical flooding in Las Vegas and it actually happens, then really I'll be impressed.
Posted by: MyPetSlug | June 24, 2008 12:16 PM
The other shoe is that this is the GOP's "Great White Robed Hope" to defeat Dennis Kucinich in the fall election.
Posted by: democommie | June 24, 2008 12:17 PM
I just realized Jason Lerner missed an impotent statistic. Cedar Rapids has 4185 churches. Obviously God wants fewer churches and more bars.
Posted by: Abby Normal | June 24, 2008 12:40 PM
Edinburgh may not be smitten, but it sure as hell is gummed up with roadworks. And next week they start digging up the Sheriffhall Roundabout - a six-way junction that is one of the main - and busiest - road connections between Edinburgh and Midlothian. Imagine the traffic jams at rush hour! Smiting would be preferable!
Posted by: Deacon Barry | June 24, 2008 12:59 PM
god does so exclusively in Islam, Kristine.
http://www.boston.com/news/world/asia/articles/2005/01/28/mosque_that_survived_tsunami_draws_tourists/
http://hikmah.ekhwan.com/archive/mosque-3-1-2004.jpg
Posted by: René | June 24, 2008 1:31 PM
Speaking as a clone (i.e., an identical twin), I shouldn't be surprised n at his disapproval. And I have a pair of friends who are gay clones. If they move to Iowa, do you think his head would explode?
Posted by: kehrsam | June 24, 2008 1:31 PM
Basically you are saying that the Vengeful Force of God's Mighty and Righteous Wrath has been cunningly disguised as a death by Chinese water torture: the slow death by tedious inconvenience of one's will to live?
Makes sense, actually.
Posted by: Matthew | June 24, 2008 1:37 PM
Meanwhile, the sun is shining bright in California, as happy same-sex couples have beautiful weddings...
Posted by: Dennis N | June 24, 2008 1:38 PM
Whatever you think, you will not be able to change God's Word and will one day have to pay the price for not believing what God has written.
Leviticus 18:22 Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
Romans 1:22-27
V22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, V23 And changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things.
V24 Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves:
V25 Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, Who is blessed for ever. Amen.
V26 For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature:
V27 And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet.
SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.
Posted by: Rev Spitz | June 24, 2008 1:46 PM
Whatever you think, you will not be able to change Allah's Word and will one day have to pay the price for not believing what Allah has written.
Rev Spitz, you infidel!
Posted by: Dennis N | June 24, 2008 1:51 PM
MyPetSlug: It he predicts Biblical flooding in Las Vegas and it actually happens, then really I'll be impressed.
They say that God helps those who help themselves. Las Vegas has a series of flash flood channels and retention ponds to respond to deluges. They almost always work as expected, especially in the touristy areas. What flooding that does occur happens only in isolated residential neighborhoods when you get 4-5 inches of rain in about 20 minutes in an area no larger than a square mile. Two miles away in every direction you may only will get 1/2 inch from the same storm. Outside of these locally flooded areas no one gets hurt except for the homeless that live in the flood channels downtown and under the Strip..
Posted by: natural cynic | June 24, 2008 2:01 PM
I was in Vegas four Augusts ago when one of those deluges hit the Strip. My wife an I had an early morning flight there, so we decided to take a nap before hitting the Strip. During the nap I kept hearing the windows getting pelted and couldn't figure out what it was. I mean, we're in the middle of a desert! Anyway, I woke up and turned on the TV. It was amazing how quickly the water rose. It was even more amazing how quickly it went away!
And from what I've seen on the news, California has been burning up like hell recently...just saying....
Iowa can blame it all on the ELCA Lutherans. We have a large presence in that state and are discussing the issue of sexuality. So, sorry Iowa!
Posted by: Rev. AJB | June 24, 2008 2:33 PM
The real irony? Rev. Spitz swallows. LOL
Posted by: Vic | June 24, 2008 2:46 PM
Dear Jesus, I am a having a great day at work and am soon headed home to eternal drinking of beer. I believe you died on the cross according to some wandering goat herders 2000 some years ago. Apparently you had a penchant for hookers, or at least a hooker. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my house and vacuum away my sins and give me eternal cleanliness (and by sins, I mean the hair of my two dogs).
Posted by: Rev. BigDumbChimp | June 24, 2008 3:00 PM
Posted by: Taz | June 24, 2008 3:32 PM
Oh, don't worry, California's got a whole catalog of natural disasters just waiting for the Almighty One to say the word. A magnitude 8 earthquake or two, a couple of tsunami, not to mention half-a-dozen active volcanoes to choose from.
To paraphrase a popular saying: "Vengeance is best served cold!".
:-)
Posted by: tacitus | June 24, 2008 3:32 PM
I wonder how often the Rev. Spitz remembers to mention that "the lying tongue" is also classed as an abomination by the Bible. Funny how often they neglect to mention that whenever they rant on about abominable things in the Bible.
Posted by: tacitus | June 24, 2008 3:36 PM
"The most practical and dramatic victory of science over religion occurred in the 17th Century, when churches began to put up lightning conductors." - Isaac Asimov
See - rain falls on the godly and the ungodly, but lightning has a preference for tall buildings.
Posted by: DiscoveredJoys | June 24, 2008 4:12 PM
According to Jon Stewart, Iowans are f*ing nice people. I mean, they give out pies at tool booths!
Posted by: decrepitoldfool | June 24, 2008 4:16 PM
No, no, no! You folks have it all wrong and need to re-read Mark Twain. He made the point that the Christian God was forever getting mad at someone and smiting innocents surrounding the guilty.
Obviously, He caused the floods in the Midwest because he's mad at California for allowing gay marriages.
Posted by: edward | June 24, 2008 4:36 PM
I wish Lerner had been my tour guide when I lived in Iowa, because I missed virtually all of that awesome sinning he mentions. No gambling-addicted clones or tanked-up abortionists to be found on my Iowan Saturday nights. Even the incredible gayness of Grinnell can't tip the scales, because--as gay as they may be--that's still only like a hundred people.
Why did god make Iowa so boring?
Posted by: clarence | June 24, 2008 4:42 PM
I'm glad Grinnell got singled out! I'm a proud Grinnellian, class of 91. However, Grinnell is a private institution (and a seriously rich one) so I'm not sure why it was included in a rant about state spending on education.
Posted by: glendenb | June 24, 2008 4:42 PM
Another patronising, condescending, self-opinionated, authoritarian, disciplinarian, homophobic, xenophobic, mysognistic, non-progressiveist, fudnamentalist, temperamentalist, pseudointellectual wingnut?
Posted by: PeteK | June 24, 2008 6:59 PM
Let's face facts. We all know that god is eternal, which means she is an old, old, old god. And we've all been around old, old, old people (John McCain) and we know they can be forgetful and they take a long time getting around to doing something. God was aiming the floods at California. He took aim and then forgot what she was doing. They remembered again, but by this time the earth moved, or maybe she moved since the earth is immovable, and she was pointing at the Mississippi and her zapper-smoter went off accidentally. It's like the tsunami that was sent to punish Sweden for supporting gays that went to Southern Asia, or the earthquake in the late 80s in San Francisco that was supposed to wipe out the evil gays but instead hit one of the most heterosexual neighborhoods in the city. I'm sure Katrina was meant for Key West. We who live in sin-sick areas like California have nothing to worry about. God only causes collateral damage.
Posted by: wrpd | June 24, 2008 8:00 PM
The rational question always raised when some fanatic blames these disasters on god has always been "what will they say when it such a thing happens in the Midwest or the Bible Belt?" This guy has given us the answer; damn them all, and let god sort them out. At least they're consistent.
Posted by: Julian | June 24, 2008 8:24 PM
Bah. Today is just not my day for typing. The first always in the first sentence needs to be excised, and in the second line it should read, "... when such a thing happens..."
Sorry for the typos.
Posted by: Julian | June 24, 2008 8:30 PM
I live in Cedar Rapids Iowa and I dare that dumb fuck to bring his worthless ass here and talk that shit.
Posted by: Joel | June 24, 2008 8:47 PM
Hmmm. How did the town of Fairfield fare? It's the home of world-famous Maharishi University. I wonder if God likes TM'ers better than homosexuals?
Posted by: wenchacha | June 24, 2008 9:04 PM
joel, I agree with you.
Posted by: marie | June 24, 2008 9:49 PM
joel, I agree with you.
Posted by: m arie | June 24, 2008 9:50 PM
Joel-Hope he stays away, and other, well-meaning Christians, non-Christians, etc. come in and help all of you pick up the pieces of your lives.
I know we've all been having a good laugh about what this knucklehead had to say, but you're living the nightmare. My thoughts are with you.
Posted by: Rev. AJB | June 24, 2008 10:13 PM
The thing that constantly amazes is that almost all of the things that the zealot, Jason Lerner, finds offensive have to do with those things that involve our so called "naughty parts." This speaks volumes concerning awareness of human politics. And it is a reminder of the astounding ability that some possess to simultaneously observe something and deny its existence. There's even a zealot who wants to clothe the nude ladies in the National Gallery! He thinks it will be a way to help "heal the nation."
I can only conclude that people like Jason just haven't "lerned."
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | June 24, 2008 10:44 PM
My favorite thing about organized religion is the sound of the church bell ringing when I'm making love, and I think about all of the sins I'm not committing because I don't belong to a church.
Posted by: Great Satan Himself | June 24, 2008 11:25 PM
Rev Spitz,
Leviticus 11:9-10 says:
"And all that have not fins and scales in the seas, and in the rivers, of all that move in the waters, and of any living thing which is in the waters, they shall be an abomination unto you."
See, anyone can take that stupid book and pick out a few of its ridiculous lines to support almost any position (well, any intolerant, racist, or sexist position, at least)
And are you even following the Bible yourself? Have you sold all of your things and given the money to the poor (Matthew 19:21)? Have you drank deadly poison to demonstrate the power of your faith to unbelievers (Mark 16:18)?
Of course not. Why live a Biblical life yourself when you can live a life whining on about teh gays and blastocysts (who your God aborts with reckless abandon, I might add)?
Even ignoring the fact that many people here are atheists/agnostics/deists/others who reject the authority of scripture, making your quote-slinging completely useless, until you fix your own sinful life, well, without being too cheeky, I suggest you go "eat fish and die".
Posted by: Jason fails Rev Spitz | June 25, 2008 9:22 AM
I noticed that Rev Spitz was linked to website and foolishly clicked on it. Thanks to my work IT policy I got a message saying.
Your page is blocked due to a security policy that prohibits access to category
Violence
Posted by: Matt | June 25, 2008 9:38 AM
Matt-Mine didn't; wish it did. He had a link there to a site that glorifies Eric Rudolph. How Christian is that?
Posted by: Rev. AJB | June 25, 2008 1:04 PM