He's Baaaaaack : Dispatches from the Culture Wars

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Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of Michigan Citizens for Science and co-founder of The Panda's Thumb. He has written for such publications as The Bard, Skeptic and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, spoken in front of many organizations and conferences, and appeared on nationally syndicated radio shows and on C-SPAN. Ed is also a Fellow with the Center for Independent Media and the host of Declaring Independence, a one hour weekly political talk show on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan.(static)

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Ed Brayton also blogs at Positive Liberty and The Panda's Thumb

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He's Baaaaaack

Posted on: November 28, 2008 9:16 AM, by Ed Brayton

Ted Haggard is back. And he's selling life insurance. Sounds about right to me. He was always a salesman, he's just changed the product. I'm still waiting to see him on late night TV selling Gay-B-Gone.

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I see a North American concert tour in the making. Pat Boone can sing metal in his leathers while Haggard dances nearby in chaps. They can have Klingenschmitt give an invocation in a uniform he purchased from a costume shop. Roy Moore can give the sermon on America being a fascist Christianist state just like our framers intended while Chuck Norris stands nearby ready to kick any audience member who dares not to listen. I'd pay to see that.

Posted by: Michael Heath | November 28, 2008 10:15 AM

Who needs life insurance when you're going to live forever? I really expected him to flack for one of those colon cleansing products. The ones that scrape out the deeply-impacted fecal matter. Orac swears it's all woo, but I suspect there might be something to it in this case.

Posted by: kehrsam | November 28, 2008 10:15 AM

Actually, that would be a good metaphor for Christianity: a cult of life-insurance salesmen.

Posted by: jpf | November 28, 2008 10:38 AM

I'm still waiting to see him on late night TV selling Gay-B-Gone.

Would that be a rub-on cream?

Posted by: llewelly | November 28, 2008 10:56 AM

"I'm still waiting to see him on late night TV selling Gay-B-Gone"

Totally the wrong spokesperson for that. Maybe if Larry Craig were looking for a post-politics gig...

Posted by: Romeo Vitelli | November 28, 2008 11:43 AM

Mr. Heath,

Thank you for the most disturbing image anyone's put into my mind for the last several years.

Posted by: James Hanley | November 28, 2008 11:59 AM

If I was Teabag Teddy I'd be lookin' for "Afterlife Insurance". I saw an ad for reverse mortgages with Pat Boone as the shill recently. He creeps me the fuck out. Talk about the undead.

Posted by: democommie | November 28, 2008 1:24 PM

Am I the only one seeing the advertisement for this book in the left-hand column at that link? Too perfect.

Posted by: FishyFred | November 28, 2008 1:50 PM

llewelly-

Yes, it's a rub on cream. "Apply directly to the foreskin."

Posted by: Ed Brayton | November 28, 2008 2:15 PM

Ed:

But what if you live alone?

What if your arms are too short?

Posted by: democommie | November 28, 2008 4:01 PM

Maybe he should be selling Rapture Insurance. I am sure there are enough idiots around to buy it

Posted by: Ex Patriot | November 29, 2008 3:35 AM

Don't worry Demo, I'm sure Teddy-boy will be more than happy to help you apply it, as often as is needed*. - ;) DJ
*It won't, of course, repel him, he says he's 'completely heterosexual' now.

Posted by: DingoJack | November 29, 2008 9:49 PM