Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
A reader sends along this link, which he says is not a parody but is actually a serious statement by a guy named Matthew Stucky. He says that Santa Claus (which he spells Clause, for some reason) is satanic and is "corrupting people all over the world." Oh, and the reindeer are all gay. Seriously.
Santa's queer reindeer: This was brought to my attention recently & I wanted to share this. The story of Rudolph is he was refused to be able to guide the sleigh because of his red nose.Names of the 8 reindeer
Blitzen, Comet, Cupid, Dancer, Dasher, Donder, Prancer and Vixen.These 8 reindeer are supposed to be 8 MALE reindeer. Take a look at those names again. Male reindeer named Dancer, Prancer, Vixen & Cupid.
Let's start with Vixen in the dictionary:
1 : a shrewish ill-tempered woman 2 : a female fox 3 : a sexually attractive womanSo Vixen is a queer. It's nice to know the creators of this sweet innocent cartoon were so concerned with young kids who would be watching.
Cupid
1: the Roman god of erotic love -- compare eros 2 not capitalized : a figure that represents Cupid as a naked usually winged boy often holding a bow and arrowDancer & Prancer certainly sound like feminine terms as well.
I think from these names we know Vixen, Dancer, Prancer & Cupid are queer reindeer.
Let's go back to the story of Rudolph & I prove this is true. Rudolph gets shy around girls & his nose turns red. As a result, the other reindeer won't let him play any reindeer games. That sounds sick, perverted & homosexual. Basically Rudolph like girls because he is straight & as a result they don't let him participate in their homosexual games.
People are going to read this & say I'm crazy but why did would male reindeer be named that?
The truth is Santa Clause is being used by Satan to corrupt kids at a very young age. This is much like in the Disney movies which are littered with sexual content, homosexuality, etc... A woman falling in love with an animal(Beauty & the Beast). A grown man who wants to hang around little boys all day(Peter Pan). Peter Pan is also always played by women in plays because he is a long haired looking faggot in the movie.
And he knows just what to do about those gay reindeer:
Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."According to the Bible homosexuality should be punishable by death. I would be overjoyed if every single queer in the entire world died today. The Bible makes it clear they are reprobates who are past the point of salvation. The Bible also makes it clear they are rapists & very wicked people. They have no chance to get saved and no saved person could ever become a queer. Therefore, I would be overjoyed if they all died tonight & our government would actually follow what the Bible states. The death penalty should be enacted for the queers.
Sounds like a wingnut of the week candidate to me.
Politics
Comments
I loved the comment posted there that Santa is just another name for Satan.
Posted by: Michael Heath | January 1, 2009 9:43 AM
Really? All this silliness because he can't conceive of the idea of working women(reindeer)? Who says--who EVER said--they're "supposed to be 8 MALE reindeer"?
If I hadn't read some Dennis Prager recently I'd refuse to accept this could possibly not be a put-on.
Posted by: Laurel | January 1, 2009 9:46 AM
Male reindeer antlers fall off in the winter, Santa's are always shown with antlers. Therefore all Santa's reindeer are in fact female. This guy should do his homework.
Posted by: Ramel | January 1, 2009 9:55 AM
Sorry how do you spell PROJECTION again? - :) DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | January 1, 2009 9:57 AM
This reminds me of the old "Bert and Ernie are gay" thing that pops up now and then. Really, people, don't you have anything better to do than worry about the sexuality of fictional people/reindeer?
Some of these people are so stupid, I have to wonder how they manage to tie their shoes or turn on the computer.
Posted by: Mara | January 1, 2009 9:57 AM
Just checked my facts, antlers on male young reindeers don't fall off until the spring. So Rudolph, normally shown as a juvenile might be male. Meh, doesn't change the fact that this homophobic nut-job is an idiot.
Posted by: Ramel | January 1, 2009 10:05 AM
Damn it! He's found us out; this is bigger than the Da Vinci code, man.
That's right - the entire Santa myth is just an elaborate ruse set up by the homosexual conspiracy (we're bigger and scarier than even the Trilateral Commission) literally over hundreds of years to infiltrate good "Christian" homes and turn their kids gay.
And we would have gotten away with it, if it hadn't been for those pesky kids.
Meanwhile, I have a great candidate for those Nigerian millions that keep getting promised to me in my email - what was Mr. Stucky's email address again?
Posted by: CPT_Doom | January 1, 2009 10:12 AM
Santa's Reindeer, Teletubbies, Spongebob Squarepants, Bert and Ernie....
Our children are under gay siege at every turn! No wonder America is going to Hell!
And, of course, Santa himself is an anagram of Satan. It's all so obvious!
Posted by: tacitus | January 1, 2009 10:14 AM
Know who else is a gay influence on our children? Jesus. I mean, he hangs out down by the wharf picking up fishermen as "apostles" so he can wash their feet and tell them how much he loves them... How is that not queer? And what's with all these depictions of him on the cross dressed only in a loincloth? And don't even get me started on all these people desiring his "second coming"!
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 10:29 AM
jpf, let's not forget the youth clad only in a loin cloth in the garden with Jebus and the disciples. (Gang bang?) Luckily, he slipped out of it and got away nude before the centurions got the chance to bugger him. He was saving himself for Jebus.
Posted by: CRS | January 1, 2009 10:44 AM
You see where he's going with this. In Part II of his post, he will point out that Santa, a flamboyantly dressed sugar daddy living in a socially tolerant part of the world (i.e., near Canada and Scandinavia), is actually involved in a same-sex, polygamous, bestial marriage in which he practises bondage with his furry-sex partners.
Posted by: Ex-drone | January 1, 2009 11:13 AM
On top of everything else, don't forget the magical powers he uses to deliver all the toys on one night. Powers that could only come from Satan. So Santa is, indeed, a witch. A gay, deer-fucking, satan-worshiping witch.
Posted by: Moopheus | January 1, 2009 11:37 AM
Wait, isn't "Blitzen" a german word. OMG, it's all so clear to me now . . . Santa is a NAZI!
Posted by: Frasque | January 1, 2009 11:38 AM
Aw, C'mon - the "jolly fat man" lives with elves, denizens of the "fairy world" who spend their lives making toys (including dolls, I mean, "action figures"). He isn't up there being a Real Man starting a private army and copying bibles, he's doing that Qeerosexual toy-hugging thing. I bet there is no "Mrs Claus" - probably its whatever elf he can force to dress up in drag for his twisted sexual appetites - after all, would a Real Man only come once a year?
:D
Posted by: Badger3k | January 1, 2009 11:43 AM
I'd call Poe, but the line between parody and genuine wingnuttery has gotten so damn hard to discern. And even if this is fake, we all know there's at least one idiot out there who believes it.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | January 1, 2009 11:46 AM
Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863, "professor of Biblical learning", Hebrew scholar, and author of Twas The Night Before Christmas) was a pawn of Satan? It's more probable that Stucky's a loon of the highest order.
Posted by: Augray | January 1, 2009 11:51 AM
That's just a ruse to hide the true Queering Agenda. In the original poem, "Donder and Blitzen" were called "Dunder and Blixem" -- which are Dutch names. So how is this queer? Well, according to Wikipedia, "the Netherlands has allowed same-sex marriage since 1 April 2001, the first nation in the world to do so."
Dunder and Blixem were gay-married Dutch reindeer!
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 11:55 AM
Look at the rest of his blog. Next to the queers and their queery queerness, his main pet peeve seems to be people teaching heretical views on salvation. He links favorably to this blacklist of heretics who support "works salvation" (that's where you "repent your sins" and stop doing bad things). Jack Chick and Kirk Cameron are on the blacklist. Religious insanity is a bit like a game of rock, paper, scissors; every group condemns the previous until it all loops back onto itself.
But back to the queers... I liked this lovely post titled "The Ahwatukee Nightmare":
Eventually, after four hours, he found three non-queers to "soulwin".
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 12:18 PM
"Jack Chick and Kirk Cameron are on the blacklist."
When Jack Chick is too liberal...I guess I need to recalibrate my wingnut meter. Again. Maybe I'll switch to a hyperbolic scale this time.
Posted by: BobApril | January 1, 2009 12:30 PM
Blitzen is German for flash; so this reindeer is an exhibitionist.
Donder is Dutch for Thursday. Well, we have Tuesday Weld, and Wednesday Addams, and so, as any fool can plainly see, Donder is a girl.
Posted by: Nalgas | January 1, 2009 12:43 PM
Well, I don't think the blacklist is based on being a "liberal", at least not in the sense that you or I would understand the term. This guy and his sect believe that salvation is only through faith alone, not works. They also believe overcoming your sins or changing your behavior takes work, so it can't be something that leads to salvation. To get salvation you have to believe in "Eternal Security". You have to believe on Jesus not in Jesus, whatever the hell that distinction even means. They argue that you can never lose your salvation once you have it, no matter what you do, even if it's murder or suicide (and I'm guessing, being queer?)
The blacklist is of those who disagree with, or that they characterize as disagreeing with, this theology.
As I'm writing this I'm listening to Stucky's sermon titled "Purge Out The Liberals" on this site he linked to. It's 48 minutes long MP3 so I've only heard a bit so far. He's currently going on at great length about all this salvation heresy stuff. He started by complaining about how some girl he had as a friend on his Facebook page (he describes Facebook to his audience as "kinda like the Faithful Word listeners site") had put up a picture of "two queers" saying they were a cute couple. This of course disgusted him, and he rants about how the Bible calls for the death penalty for homosexuals.
He also has a problem with pharmacists, but doesn't explain what it is.
And, yes, apparently "soulwin" (no space) is a word these people actually use. In Stucky's profile he lists blogs he reads, including one called "Soulwinning till I get to Heaven" ("Please join me to learn what soulwinning is, how to soulwin and why").
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 12:48 PM
I was walking past the Apple store at some mall in San Diego a couple of weeks ago and they had in the front window lifesize versions of the characters from 1964 stop motion Christmas Rudolph special. And I immediately thought to myself - 'I forgot how gay that show was'. Hermi the Misfit Elf practicing dentistry? Gay. Yukon Cornelius searching for pepermint? Gay. Sam the Snowman? Gay. Even the new deer introduced at the beginning ... Fireball?!? Gayer than christmas at bloomingdales (the blond highlights give him away).
Personally I'm surprised the AFA hasn't released an Action Alert on how this show is corrupting our youth...
Posted by: yoshi | January 1, 2009 12:55 PM
War on Christmas indeed!
... I forget, are us red blooded 'Murrikins supposed to be fer 'Hristmas ur againit?
Posted by: Nick | January 1, 2009 1:02 PM
Actually more likely than the reindeer being female is that they would be castrated males. That's the norm for pulling animals whether they're horses, oxen, or reindeer, gelding makes males more tractable and often larger and stronger.
Posted by: Noadi | January 1, 2009 1:05 PM
I love how he's completely oblivious to the fact that the term "queer" has ceased to be considered a term of disparagement among the gay community for years.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | January 1, 2009 1:15 PM
More from Stucky's "Purge Out The Liberals" sermon (I listened to 48 minutes of inanity so you don't have to):
* Disney's Fantasia is "wicked, it's all about evolution and atheistic philosophies".
* The Andy Griffith Show is "extremely wicked" and "disgusting" because the people kissing other people on the show aren't married to each other in real life.
* Gomer Pyle is a queer in real life.
* The church on the Andy Griffith Show was some liberal church where everybody is unsaved and they never did soulwinning. "That's what the show was about."
* Stuckey got rid of all his wicked movies and TV shows about 8 months ago.
* Independent Fundamentalist Baptist (IFB) pastors won't "get up and scream" about Christian rock even though it is "just like the world". Why would you listen to Christian rock? If you're going to listen to rock, you might as well listen to the good stuff. People who go halfway and try to fit into the world make him sick.
* The King James Version Bible is perfect. No need to go back to the Greek or Hebrew.
* "Movies are wrong. Television is wrong." He doesn't listen to any music. But he has plenty to keep himself entertained, like going soulwinning on the weekends.
* The words "agape" and "philos" aren't in the Bible (KJV) so he doesn't care about them. It's "garbage", "none of it makes any sense at all". "The Bible says 'love', that's what it means."
* Everybody hates him and his group and thinks they're crazy, but he's not upset because "if the World likes me I know I'm not right with God".
* Proof that IFBs are fools: "We just elected Barack Obama as our president and people don't even care! This world is getting worse and worse, its on a downward slide to Hell! ... These people [IFB] are fools if they don't get up and scream and warn people about this!"
* IFB pastors are not warning against women wearing pants and having short hair. "They don't get up and scream about it. Ya' know maybe that's the reason why this world is in the mess that it is right now 'cause we're not getting up and screaming about the sin." [But... I thought salvation was by faith, not works -- like the work of women not wearing pants or getting their hair cut? Murder, ok; Pantsuits, not so much?]
* "If your thigh is exposed to someone of the opposite sex, it's naked. So when you're on the beach, and you're in a bathing suit, I'm sorry: you're naked!"
* It's a sin to vote for John McCain. "God decided our country deserved Barack Obama as president. We do deserve it. We are a wicked, filthy country." Christians voted for John McCain, a "wicked" candidate, so God gave us a wicked president, Obama.
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 1:48 PM
"And, of course, Santa himself is an anagram of Satan. It's all so obvious!"
The problem is that it only works in few languages...
Posted by: BdN | January 1, 2009 1:51 PM
Hmm - does "soulwinning" include dressing up in leather chaps? Many of these rabid types usually have a fetish for the thing they demonize most, and this guy seems to fit that (near-) stereotype.
Posted by: Badger3k | January 1, 2009 2:54 PM
At least he settled the origins of homosexuality debate. It's not a choice, nor is it natural. Your sexual orientation depends entirely on YOUR NAME!
Posted by: JakeS | January 1, 2009 2:58 PM
You know, I'm surprised the South seem to take the War on Christmas (TM) so seriously considering that the modern image of Santa Claus comes from Thomas Nast, a Union artist who drew the fat man as a Union supporter.
Posted by: Bachalon | January 1, 2009 3:01 PM
Matthew Stucky can't be all bad if he hates Kirk Cameron. Still, that's just one ounce of good sense vs. 100 tons of bullshit.
And don't be putting down Nigerians. I just sent a check to my tenth Nigerian uncle. I guess their outgoing mail is just slow.
Posted by: wrpd | January 1, 2009 3:23 PM
Loons only sound crazy. They are actually nice creatures.
So you should apologize to loons, and to Mercer, Minnesota.
Posted by: Ed Darrell | January 1, 2009 5:14 PM
It's too bad Matthew Stucky never got to meet Dr. Wertham, they'd have gotten along great!
Posted by: Raymond Minton | January 1, 2009 5:44 PM
(Sorry to keep going on, but this way wackiness lies.)
"Brother" Stucky is a disciple of Pastor Steven L Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church of Mesa, AZ. From Pastor Anderson's bio:
He's big on Bible memorization and has an entire section on the church site giving methods to memorize verses, including chanting them over and over to yourself as you go about your daily routines.
And remember soulwinning? As you might have gathered from the previous comments, it involves going to people's houses. That's right, these are door-to-door Baptists! As if the Mormons and JWs weren't bad enough. They even have a training video (on the "Ministries" page) of Pastor Anderson soulwinning some poor schmuck.
Interestingly they have three spoofs of "liberal" churches at the bottom of their "essays" page. My favorite is the Safari Christian Church™, which has such worldly delights as a petting zoo, juice bar, spa, etc., etc., as well as an "extensive selection of Charles Darwin books, posters and memorabilia" in the gift shop. Because we all know how common it is to find large, tacky, theme-parky Christian churches promoting evolution.
Also, here's a video of Pastor Anderson giving a sermon on how the Germans are disobeying the will of God by prohibiting men from peeing while standing up: "And God said a man is someone who pisses against a wall!" Take that you queer nazis!
Posted by: jpf | January 1, 2009 6:47 PM
Between "queers" and "pissing," these two characters are some of the more slangy hardcore fundamentalists I've run across.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | January 1, 2009 6:58 PM
So Mrs. Claus is a beard? I guess she gets some compensation...living a life of luxury and status as the wife of Santa. Maybe she gets the elves to keep her warm on those long North Polar nights.
Posted by: Adrienne | January 1, 2009 7:17 PM
That's the worst closeted-case I've ever seen. This fella has some serious issues to go out of his way to spill so much hatred.
Posted by: gabriel | January 1, 2009 7:29 PM
This has probably already been said, but:
Only female reindeer retain their antlers in winter. Are the reindeer portrayed with antlers? Yes.
Ergo, Santa has a female reindeer team. Vixen is an appropriate name.
Posted by: Samantha Vimes | January 1, 2009 8:34 PM
if manliness hinges on such unsanitary and potentially unlawful activities as that, i won't feel nearly as bad about being unmanly as i had thought.
Posted by: Nomen Nescio | January 1, 2009 8:49 PM
I am sick and tired of being made to feel as though I must take people like this seriously. Let us heap a great tonnage of ridicule upon them!
Posted by: jws | January 1, 2009 8:49 PM
I don't know what the gay male reindeer do to let off some steam, but I've been told that the lady reindeer like to go to town and blow a few bucks.
Posted by: democommie | January 1, 2009 9:58 PM
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Sarah
http://www.thetreadmillguide.com
Posted by: sarah | January 1, 2009 11:00 PM
What the hell is it with Evangelicals and their War on Christmas? Jeez. We can't celebrate a single holiday anymore without these asshats coming out and condemning it...
Posted by: TheEngima32 | January 1, 2009 11:31 PM
Gotta love those puritans, they aren't happy 'till everyone is as miserable as they are! -DJ
PURITAN AUNT: A chair! That's the devil's work! At home, my husband sits on a spike!
BLACKADDER: And what, pray, do you sit on, dear Aunt?
PURTIAN AUNT: I sit on my husband. Two spikes would be extravagance!
Posted by: DingoJack | January 2, 2009 12:42 AM
Wow: that was painful. Sad thing is, this idiot probably has a wife and kids who think he's someone to respect.
Thanks Ed, you gave me the name for my first periodic award: the Matthew Stucky Award for Uncompromising Religious Insanity.
Posted by: Spidergrackle | January 2, 2009 2:20 AM
There's even a "Christmas" song about the Santa/Satan thing - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydjI6IJdcY - oy.
Posted by: Paul | January 2, 2009 4:44 AM
Dear Mr Stucky,
Because my biblical scholarship isn't up to snuff, could you please show me exactly where the bible specifically states that homosexuals are rapists? As to no saved person becoming 'queer', need I mention Ted Haggard (amongst others)? No doubt you're taking a wide stance here. -DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | January 2, 2009 7:01 AM
Well, if nothing else, I learned something new. I didn't even know that female deer *grew* antlers. I thought does were always antlerless.
Posted by: Adrienne | January 2, 2009 7:38 AM
Is it just me, or is this verse:
"Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! on Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!"
making reference to "Hawt deer on deer sex!"?
Posted by: democommie | January 2, 2009 9:48 AM
My comment:
Posted by: llewelly | January 2, 2009 11:16 AM
The original Cupid was male, and certainly not gay. In fact, we was the symbol of heterosexual love. Also, deer don't name themselves, so it's impossible to determine their sexuality based on what someone else named them.
Posted by: catgirl | January 2, 2009 11:49 AM
At least someone has finally called out the Andy Griffith show for the Satanic smorgasbord it truly is. That guy has been getting a free pass since 1960.
Don't even get me started on Matlock.
Wicked, wicked, wicked.
Posted by: threetorches | January 2, 2009 12:40 PM
These comments are wonderful fun, but let's notice that the guy is a paid staffer, with a specific responsibility for interacting with the public, at his wonderfully weird little church, and still does not post a picture in his Blogger Profile. Let's also notice that he got his best friend killed last year; that little camping trip went hugely wrong when it came to selecting a campsite. Somehow, the idea that King James the Queen, widely thought to be something of a closet Catholic too, has given us the only proper text of the Bible for the people of Norway does have a perfume of truly gaga cultural imperialism.
More broadly, this kind of total performance song and dance routine is properly understood as a more or less satanic distraction from the ongoing business of working out salvation. While it is derived from a long sad history of sectarianism and popular culture foamovers, this version is no more salvific than the craziness that went down at Muenster early in the 16th Century, or at Waco more recently.
Posted by: Jonathan Justice | January 2, 2009 1:11 PM
Well, on the bright side, at least he doesn't subscribe to the standard fundamentalist dogma that homosexuality is something that can--and thereby should--be changed.
You know, I just realized something. This guy had clearly modeled himself after Fred Phelps. He's Phelps-Lite--"fags" is a bit too harsh a term perhaps (or, more likely, already taken), so he just substitutes it for "queers," and voila!
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | January 2, 2009 1:26 PM
I guess Santa couldn't call one of his reindeer "Eros", in case the fundies jumped to the wrong conclusion ;) DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | January 2, 2009 1:29 PM
THis is fuckin stupid, anyone who believes this are too. This is a bunch of shit literally.
Posted by: Tony | November 4, 2009 12:52 AM