Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Joe the Plumber at Lansing Tea Party

We had one of those big tea party protests in Lansing, Michigan on Wednesday and it included an appearance by the Kato Kaelin of politics, Joe the Plumber. My friend and colleague Todd Heywood was on the scene and filed a report at the Michigan Messenger. He said Joe the Plumber wouldn’t speak to him because he said he was there for “the little guy” and not the media.

Let me translate that with the help of my Pathetic Loser to English dictionary: “Every time I open my mouth to a reporter, I say something that makes me look like a fucking moron. So I’m not talking to the media anymore.” But that didn’t stop him from saying really stupid things to the crowd, like this:

“Let me give you another extremist view, ‘In God We Trust,’” he said to wild applause. “Say that too loud in some parts of America and you will be shot. It’s terrible.”

Gotta love that ridiculous fake martyr complex that the right so often displays. Perhaps Joe could mention just one person who’s been shot for saying “In God we trust.” I bet he can’t. On the other hand, I can name several people who’ve been the victims of violence and death threats for wanting to keep government out of the religion business and preserve the separation of church and state. But those are facts, of course, and this group is entirely immune to facts.

Here are some of the vile signs on display at the rally:


Yeah. So did Reagan, of course. And Kennedy.


You have to laugh at the logical inconsistencies on display here. A 39% tax rate on the wealthiest people in the country is slavery, but 36% is not? It was 39% in the 90s too, were we all slaves then? Hell, it was much higher in the 80s. Were we slaves under Reagan? I guess 39% is only slavery if there’s a black man in the White House. How ironic.


Gee, I can’t imagine why anyone would think you’re a bunch of gun nuts. I support gun rights and support the second amendment, but when you go out of your way to carry a gun while rallying with cries like this:


You scare the shit out of me and other sane people.