Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Indiana Jones, Call Your Office

Another Worldnutdaily exclusive:

The patriarch of the Orthodox Church of Ethiopia says he will announce to the world Friday the unveiling of the Ark of the Covenant, perhaps the world’s most prized archaeological and spiritual artifact, which he says has been hidden away in a church in his country for millennia, according to the Italian news agency Adnkronos.

Abuna Pauolos, in Italy for a meeting with Pope Benedict XVI this week, told the news agency, “Soon the world will be able to admire the Ark of the Covenant described in the Bible as the container of the tablets of the law that God delivered to Moses and the center of searches and studies for centuries.”

But wait, I thought Worldnutdaily columnist Kelly Hollowell had already revealed that the Ark of the Covenant was buried in the Judean desert? And that Ron Wyatt had found the Ark of the Covenant in a cave under Calvary, where it had the dried blood of Jesus on it (and he knows it’s the blood of Jesus because it only had 24 chromosomes, 23 from the mother and one from God himself. Now it’s been discovered a third time in a different location. This thing is apparently quite mobile.

“The Ark of the Covenant is in Ethiopia for many centuries,” said Pauolos. “As a patriarch I have seen it with my own eyes and only few highly qualified persons could do the same, until now.”

According to Pauolos, the actual Ark has been kept in one church, but to defend the treasure, a copy was placed in every single church in Ethiopia.

It’s like an Elvis commemorative plate from the Franklin Mint, only a certain amount are made.

The Ark of the Covenant is the sacred container of the Ten Commandments as well as Aaron’s rod and a sample of manna, the mysterious food that kept the Israelites alive while wandering in the wilderness during their journey to the promised land.

3000 year old manna? That stuff has a longer shelflife than a Twinkie.