Conservatives: Please Stop Rapping : Dispatches from the Culture Wars

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Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of Michigan Citizens for Science and co-founder of The Panda's Thumb. He has written for such publications as The Bard, Skeptic and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, spoken in front of many organizations and conferences, and appeared on nationally syndicated radio shows and on C-SPAN. Ed is also a Fellow with the Center for Independent Media and the host of Declaring Independence, a one hour weekly political talk show on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan.(static)

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Conservatives: Please Stop Rapping

Posted on: June 26, 2009 9:30 AM, by Ed Brayton

I think we've conclusively proven that conservatives can't rap. Here's more proof. Somehow I don't think Jay-Z is threatened by this. Guys, just stop. You're embarrassing yourselves. You're embarrassing your parents. And you're making the baby Jesus cry.

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Comments

I'm suprised they didn't put a (D) after his name to lend him some street cred

Posted by: rpsms | June 26, 2009 9:52 AM

I believe the will to live has just been ripped out of my body. I must go cry now.

Posted by: Scott Reese | June 26, 2009 9:57 AM

Hmmmm, trying a little too hard to gain the minority vote maybe?

Posted by: llDayo | June 26, 2009 10:04 AM

I just love the consistency of modern conservatism. In one line they state:
"We need more women with intellectual integrity"
but elsewhere they recite Sarah Palin's mantra,
"Drill, baby, drill."

Posted by: Herod the Freemason | June 26, 2009 10:07 AM

You really need to supply eye bleach with these types of posts.

Posted by: dean | June 26, 2009 10:15 AM

This contrivance made me wince more than any extra-special episode of "Blossom".

Posted by: Robert Faber | June 26, 2009 10:17 AM

Watching this for eternity would be Tupac Shakur and Notorious Big's version of hell.

Huckabee wasn't playin' bass for his homies? What up wit dat?

Posted by: democommie | June 26, 2009 10:24 AM

If this is their attempt to get some young votes, they're even more out of touch with reality than I thought.

Posted by: mxh | June 26, 2009 10:29 AM

I think we've conclusively proven that conservatives can't rap.

The real question is "Can astronauts rap?"

Posted by: The Science Pundit | June 26, 2009 10:34 AM

I made it almost 2 minutes in before the nausea got too much for me. Seriously.

Posted by: neokortex | June 26, 2009 10:39 AM

I don't know what's worse: the stiffness, the my-ears-are-bleeding lyrics, or the formal wear. In any case, this is definitely more painful than "Rapping Grannies."

Posted by: Sadie Morrison | June 26, 2009 10:49 AM

I'm just glad it's sweeping the "Fox Nation" and not the real nation.

Posted by: mxh | June 26, 2009 10:55 AM

I believe the correct term is "Grandad at the disco"

Posted by: Rich | June 26, 2009 11:14 AM

Wow, a Hip Hop Cargo Cult.

Posted by: Woody Tanaka | June 26, 2009 11:14 AM

I believe the correct term is "Grandad at the disco"

Posted by: Rich | June 26, 2009 11:17 AM

It's made a little easier with Bill Maher's additional lyrics. But not by much.

Posted by: James F | June 26, 2009 11:19 AM

This is almost as bad as the "Stuck on Huck" rap video on what used to be Godtube but is now Tangle.com. Watch at your own risk - this aweful tune will get stuck in your head.

http://www.tangle.com/view_video.php?viewkey=9a5c8ccdbec6f62fed57

Posted by: soboco | June 26, 2009 11:38 AM

Well, I've got to give the Young Cons credit for managing to hit just about every right-wing Republican talking point and policy position in one single rap song (not that it's too hard these days).

I wish them all the best, and hope that they get all the exposure they deserve (the more the better, I say) in the months ahead. There's nothing like a distillation of modern right-wing Republican mantras to show how completely out of touch with reality they are.

Posted by: tacitus | June 26, 2009 12:30 PM

Dear 'boyzNmen', 'Widestanz' or whatever the hell you call yourselves -
I hear you rapping but you can't come in!
Dingo.

Posted by: DingoJack | June 26, 2009 1:46 PM

Try the experiment:

1. Watch this whole thing,
2. Immediately watch "The Devil Made Me Do It" by Paris.
3. Report your consciousness in comments afterward.

Posted by: cm | June 26, 2009 2:39 PM

Ol' String Bean sez he's rappin' Jesus.

So what? I've been rappin' and dissin' and pokin' fun at Jesus for years.

These kids think their so cutting edge. Don't they know that there is nothing new under the sun?

Posted by: Crudely Wrott | June 26, 2009 3:11 PM

Just another obnoxious confirmation that conservatives love mediocrity and intellectual laziness.

Posted by: naturalist | June 26, 2009 8:37 PM

Christ, is that lame.

Posted by: CHV | June 26, 2009 9:31 PM

I think Jesus is going to have a very difficult choice ahead as to whether or not to Rapture these two.

Posted by: AL | June 26, 2009 11:44 PM

They aren't true Ivy League conservatives. They get their suits off the rack.

Pikers.

Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | June 27, 2009 12:56 AM

These kids think their so cutting edge. Don't they know that there is nothing new under the sun?

They seem to be under the impression that rap is still somehow edgy and "dangerous," thus giving their brand of conservatism a sort of "hip" veneer.

Posted by: Sadie Morrison | June 27, 2009 1:53 AM

Sadie Morrisson:

"They seem to be under the impression that rap is still somehow edgy and "dangerous," thus giving their brand of conservatism a sort of "hip" veneer."

I'm thinking it's more like the protective coat of slime that a hagfish exudes.

Posted by: democommie | June 27, 2009 9:18 AM

Gee thanks, Ed. Now I have to ram a pair of icepicks into my ears just to cleanse my auditory cortex of that abomination.

Posted by: Joe Max | June 27, 2009 11:38 AM

This reminds me of a ten-year old tune called "Pretty Fly (For a White Guy)."

BTW, did you notice the reaction shots of a couple of the women in the audience? Didn't it look to you like they were thinking, "Ookaaaaaaaaaay ..."

Posted by: J. J. Ramsey | June 27, 2009 1:27 PM

I, OTOH, had the good sense to not play that monstrosity, judging it in advance by the combination of the word rap, it being on Fox, it being on Huckabee and the guys being young white guys in suits. Sometimes you just have to overcome the desire for fairness and instinct to give everyone a chance.

Posted by: Jim S | June 28, 2009 12:33 AM

I saw it. I can't see it... 2 minutes of my life I'll never get back.

Posted by: ChrisC | June 28, 2009 10:41 PM

I want people like these fools to keep rapping. I am glad to see the Republican party continue to be the party of FAIL. My hope is that someday, the Republicans will become so marginalized that the liberals will feel safe in abandoning the democratic party, which has always failed to live up to our ideals. It is a slim hope, but it is all I have.

Posted by: llewelly | June 29, 2009 12:41 AM

Actually, Ed, I have to fundamentally disagree with you on this one.

Conservatives: please keep rapping. Honestly, it's great, really. Stuff like this will definitely help with the "youth" vote. The jackets and ties were a really great touch too.

See you in 2012!

Posted by: Brain Hertz | June 29, 2009 9:47 PM