Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
And I'm shocked, shocked I tell ya. Despite promising to reveal the genuine, real, authentic Ark of the Covenant, the patriarch of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church did not produce the artifact in Italy. But I love this line from the Worldnutdaily:
Ark hunters and Bible enthusiasts have been buzzing for two days on the report from the Italian news agency Adnkronos that Patriarch Abuna Pauolos, in Italy for a meeting with Pope Benedict XVI this week, said, "Soon the world will be able to admire the Ark of the Covenant described in the Bible as the container of the tablets of the law that God delivered to Moses and the center of searches and studies for centuries."
And the rest of us have been having a good laugh at all the "Ark hunters and Bible enthusiasts" who actually were "buzzing" in anticipation.
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Oh, man. I am so disappointed. I was really looking forward to seeing the Pope's eyes melt when they opened up the Ark.
Posted by: Mobius | June 28, 2009 9:42 AM
Wow, who would have thought that His Holiness Abune Paulos, Fifth Patriarch and Catholicos (re-ese Liqane Papasat) of Ethiopia, Ichege of the See of St. Tekle Haymanot, Archbishop of Axum and as of 2006, one of the seven serving Presidents of the World Council of Churches was a flippin loopy toon? Go figure!
Posted by: 386sx | June 28, 2009 9:43 AM
It is WAY more difficult to expose fraud on something that exists than on something that doesn't. The ark, jesus, god...
Posted by: MikeMa | June 28, 2009 9:48 AM
Truly disappointing. I was dying to know if those five golden hemorrhoids were still in there. (1Sam:5-6)
Posted by: Tim H | June 28, 2009 10:26 AM
The arc is a weapon. And who is it that they would agree should be smited first? Perhaps its on the Hale-Bop Comet Mothership with the Spear of Destiny and the Helm of Perseus.
Posted by: seeing eye chick | June 28, 2009 10:32 AM
This whole fiasco gives a good idea of how unreliable WND is; the claim attributed to patriarch in the quotation from WND above was never said by the patriarch -- it's the lede for the Italian article (in which the patriarch's promise was merely that he would tell Pope Benedict and others the traditional Ethiopian account of the ark) which WND misreported in the first place.
Posted by: Brandon | June 28, 2009 10:46 AM
Well there probably are arks in Ethiopia though whether any were ever in the Temple in Jerusalem is highly unlikely. The ark that was in the Temple (and I suspect there was an ark, possibly more than one as kings/priests might have wanted to make more and more impressive ones [especially if an earlier one had been seized when Pharoah Shishaq ransacked the Temple in the late 900s]) was either removed to Babylon as loot when the Temple was sacked in 587BCE, destroyed to show that Israel's god was powerless, or hidden. If hidden its location was either forgotten by the rebuilding of the Temple or it had been looted in the interim. If forgotten, it has probably been looted or otherwise destroyed in the the over 2500 years since.
Posted by: Erp | June 28, 2009 10:53 AM
There's a great speculative theory that the tabernacle was a static electricity generator and the ark of the covenant was a dry capacitor. This explains the reports of it killing people by touch and putting on light shows. Short of finding the thing, there's no way of knowing, but the idea of cementing a belief system through the provision of "unknown science" is quite compelling.
Posted by: Lafayette | June 28, 2009 11:07 AM
Even if the Ark was found or recovered, it does not prove the existence of God or other supernatural beings.
It would only prove that the Bible has a small written piece of history correctly.
Posted by: Mark Pogue | June 28, 2009 11:09 AM
The only person who knew where the Ark was located in the late 1930's was the worker who was wheeling it on a cart to it's storage place in that labyrinthian government warehouse and he mysteriously disappeared also!:)
Posted by: naturalist | June 28, 2009 11:21 AM
WorldNetDaily is the Weekly World News of the Religious Right.
Posted by: thinkoplex | June 28, 2009 11:26 AM
I was hoping that the Ark would contain all those missing socks. Oh well, back to the drawing board.
Posted by: Gingerbaker | June 28, 2009 11:58 AM
Truly disappointing. I was dying to know if those five golden hemorrhoids were still in there. (1Sam:5-6)
Wow looks they did a lot of carrying the ark "about" and "thither". Don't tick off the chosen people, they might carry the ark or something. "Oh noes!! They're carrying the ark about!! Wooooooooooooooooo..."
Posted by: 386sx | June 28, 2009 12:43 PM
The silliest fantasy in the babble is used as a toilet by The Eater of Socks? Hum, seems about right…
Posted by: blf | June 28, 2009 1:48 PM
Patriarch Abuna Pauolos is "top people"? I am so disappointed.
Posted by: a lurker | June 28, 2009 3:08 PM
"WorldNetDaily is the Weekly World News of the Religious Right."
WorldNetDaily makes the Weekly World News look like the Christian Science Monitor.
Posted by: democommie | June 28, 2009 4:56 PM
The WND employed Hal Lindsey many years after his prediction of Armaggeddon failed to come true. Failed predictions are nothing new to these asshats...
Posted by: Raging Bee | June 28, 2009 5:00 PM
"WorldNetDaily is the Weekly World News of the Religious Right."
WorldNetDaily makes the Weekly World News look like the Christian Science Monitor.
Actually the late, and sorely missed, Weekly World News made no pretensions to truthfulness it was every bit as satirical as the Onion (one article detailed that the leftover bag from the last supper had been found in a refrigerator in Jerusalem, another told that the Atlantic Ocean had been drained by a pool service contractor working for the US gov for maintenance purposes, and other nations were angry that they had not been consulted)
Posted by: jay | June 28, 2009 5:08 PM
They'd reveal it, but it's being researched right now by top men.
TOP... MEN.
Posted by: Jason Thibeault | June 28, 2009 6:31 PM
@Jason Thibeault:
I spent today at SF Pride, volunteering for Leather Alley.
There were many, many Top Men.
Posted by: Lee | June 28, 2009 7:04 PM
Lee: HAH! That deserves a rimj--shot. SHOT! I said shot.
Posted by: Jason Thibeault | June 28, 2009 7:16 PM
As stated above, none of the articles I read quoted the patriarch (I'm too lazy to copy-and-paste his name) as saying he would reveal the ark. I can't find anything even remotely related to this story on the Adnkronos website!
@Tim H. Aren't those tumors, more specifically buboes from bubonic plague?
Posted by: Jeremy | June 28, 2009 11:10 PM
I suggest WND needs to do another 'in-depth & probing expose'. on the subject of the mysteriously missing wingnuts.
Yesterday, they swarmed, wagging their fingers, lecturing all and sundry on 'wages of sin' and hinting of dire consequences, now they seem to have gone AWOL.
It seems wingnuts are bastions of biblical truth when WND publishes a dubious story, but vanish into the very air when it turns out to be untrue. 'Oh ye of little faith'. - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 29, 2009 12:05 AM
As stated above, none of the articles I read quoted the patriarch (I'm too lazy to copy-and-paste his name)
His Holiness Abune Paulos, Fifth Patriarch and Catholicos (re-ese Liqane Papasat) of Ethiopia, Ichege of the See of St. Tekle Haymanot, Archbishop of Axum and as of 2006, one of the seven serving Presidents of the World Council of Churches
I don't blame you!
Posted by: 386sx | June 29, 2009 12:13 AM
I bet his business cards are A4. - ;) DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 29, 2009 12:28 AM
Ha! Snark showed up, instead.
Posted by: democommie | June 29, 2009 2:21 AM
Wow. Alot of God bashing... Lets look at this for what it is. He said they have it. He also said that it was a mistranslation that he was going to "show" it and is not. Now, to me this seems like one of two possibilities: 1. They do not have the artifact. 2. They came under pressure not to give too much detail because of possible problems with the canonical law of the church.
Think about this: What if it really does kill people who look at it? What if it doesn't?
Posted by: dave | June 29, 2009 8:23 AM
I can't believe how many lame, bitter, and hopeless people have posted comments to the article... I hope some day you folks some thing worthy of your belief.
Posted by: Andy | June 29, 2009 8:28 AM
"Now, to me this seems like one of two possibilities: 1. They do not have the artifact. 2. They came under pressure not to give too much detail because of possible problems with the canonical law of the church."
This should read: "There is one possibility: there is no such artifact."
A agree getting worked up about some item that probably never existed (there is no real historical evidence for it) is a bit foolish, but these clowns did make a big stink about its existence in their country.
Posted by: dean | June 29, 2009 8:35 AM
dave - People aren't bashing god, they're bashing some people's idiotic beliefs. You wouldn't care if it was some other sects idiotic beliefs.
Andy - Magical objects delivered straight from god are not worth believing in. Grow up.
Posted by: Taz | June 29, 2009 8:39 AM
I suspect that if this ark were actually revealed, it would only be revealed to it's display case - considered too sacred an artifact to ever allow a mere archaeologist to study it, and certinly too sacred to allow a chip to be cut out and sent for dating. So it's powers would be untested, and it's veracity unconfirmed - people would just be asked to take it on faith and the word of the church holding it that the ark is real.
Posted by: Suricou Raven | June 29, 2009 8:57 AM
I'd still like to draw y'all's attention to the Boston Examiner:
Of course, we could all just be a little bit more sensible about this and think of what the source for this [Ark] news is. WWN [Weekly World News]? Take them seriously? As Dispatches from the Culture Wars points out, they do have form on such matters:
Further up the article, they do link to the WWN coverage of the Ark. But when they link to Ed's post, the writer missed that Weekly World News and World Net Daily aren't the same organization.
Posted by: Loren | June 29, 2009 9:07 AM
Think about this, dave:
What if there really IS a crystal skull somewhere in South America that holds the key to enough psychic power to control the world?
What if aliens really ARE creating a race of human-alien hybrids for use as slaves when they take over the planet, and our government really IS involved in a massive conspiracy to cover it up?
What if the pyramids really WERE built by aliens, and they're coming through the Stargate again to enslave the human race?
What if cats and dogs really CAN talk, and are engaged in a millennia-long war for domination of the planet, right under our noses?
What if God is REALLY a hyperactive Japanese high school girl obsessed with the paranormal and given to molesting her female classmates?
What if the severed head of the Forest Spirit really CAN make you immortal, and the Emperor really IS offering a huge reward for it?
What if the fate of our entire universe really IS dependent on the outcome of battles between giant robots piloted by small children?
What if there were no hypotheticals?
What if every load of bullshit some nutcase made up magically became true?
Posted by: phantomreader42 | June 29, 2009 9:34 AM
I bet the Pope was so pissed off when the patriarch of the Ethiopian Orthodox Church didn't hand him the ark. Perhaps the excuse he made was that god ate it.
Posted by: XD | June 29, 2009 10:00 AM
Lee: HAH! That deserves a rimj...
See!!! I knew it would have only been a matter of time and wearing you down Jason!!!
Posted by: DuWayne | June 29, 2009 11:21 AM
"Wow. Alot of God bashing... "
Can't hit GOD, 'cuz GOD ain't there.
Posted by: democommie | June 29, 2009 11:50 AM
The best modern-day Ark of the Covenant story, even better than Raiders, is Harry Mulisch The Discovery of Heaven. 700 pages of rather dry intellectual philosophy and history and astronomy and theology and Nazis and family saga and politics mixed together, when suddenly, bam!, 200 pages of an actual amusingly wry action-thriller with plot and loads of cosmic woo.
Posted by: william e emba | June 29, 2009 12:28 PM
"What if every load of bullshit some nutcase made up magically became true? "
The world would vanish in a puff of self-contradiction. It is difficult to have aliens breeding superhuman hybreds to satisfy another wingnut while a second is claiming that the aliens are really demons in disguise sent to provide a cover story for the rapture and a third says there can be no aliens because the universe ends just past Pluto - all of which are claims believed by at least one nutter to be true.
Posted by: Suricou Raven | June 29, 2009 5:52 PM
Well, you can see how that sort of mistake could happen.
Posted by: Brain Hertz | June 29, 2009 8:33 PM
The whereabouts of the Ark is a mystery. It may show up soon as the Jews begin building the temple in Jerusalem. They have already gone back to Old Testament practices, clothing, etc and await a new temple. The scary thing is ... This is the temple from which the anti-Christ will rule.
How can atheists exist. We can look at the world around us and tell the end is near. Good. I've had enough communism, liberalism, marxism, and socialism, not for an eternity of relaxation. Too bad not everyone will be there. Only you can change that.
Posted by: Speaker | June 29, 2009 9:21 PM
Hey, Speaker - I think your tinfoil hat is on too tight.
Posted by: Wowbagger | June 29, 2009 9:34 PM
Speaker,
sorry, but my Poedar isn't picking up anything conclusive. A little help?
Posted by: Brain Hertz | June 29, 2009 9:36 PM
Speaker said:
... and so sayeth about a gazillion Christians over the past thousand to fifteen hundred years or so.
But sure Speaker, this time YOU know the end is near, eh?
Posted by: doctorgoo | June 29, 2009 9:41 PM
Speaker:
STFU.
Posted by: democommie | June 29, 2009 10:13 PM
... and so sayeth about a gazillion Christians over the past thousand to fifteen hundred years or so.
Actually I think Paul said it a few times. And John the Revelations dude said it. Oh, and that "Jesus" dude too. Speaker is in much "good" company.
Posted by: 386sx | June 29, 2009 10:22 PM
By the way, Paul is the dude who quoted Epimenides when Paul said, "One of Crete's own prophets has said it: 'Cretans are always liars, evil brutes, lazy gluttons'. He has surely told the truth," thereby confirming Epimenides's belief that the Creans were lying about Zeus when they said that Zeus was not immortal. (As we know, Paul was never wrong about theological issues.)
Posted by: 386sx | June 29, 2009 10:30 PM
You know these damned Arks are like, either they don't show up at all, or five turn up in five minutes. :) - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 29, 2009 11:38 PM
I wish I had a nickel for every ark and apocalypse...
Posted by: 386sx | June 29, 2009 11:59 PM
386sx -
Please find enclosed a nickel for every Ark of the Covenant & apocalypse that have been proven existent & genuine.
Invoiced amount ..... USD 0.00 (Zero United States dollars and zero cents)
Posted by: DingoJack | June 30, 2009 12:35 AM
Look out Speaker, the imaginary socialist boogie man is coming to get you!
I guess your religious beliefs must keep you from reading any books on medieval history. Otherwise, you would know that people have been thinking the world is obviously going to end any day now for the past 2000 years. If I was that type of person I would've thought the Black Death, or maybe the chaos of the 30 Years War, far more likely to be signs of a coming apocalypse than a democrat in the white house.
@DingoJack - But how much is that in Australian dollars? :)
Posted by: Imrryr | June 30, 2009 9:03 AM
I've had enough communism, liberalism, marxism, and socialism...
But not enough war, famine, injustice, bigotry or genocide?
Oh well, at least this moran isn't calling himself "Thinker."
Posted by: Raging Bee | June 30, 2009 9:10 AM
imrryr - Hmm let's let's see AUD 0.7982 to the USD 1.00 so that's....
Oh now! I see what you've done! Pshaw! - :D DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | June 30, 2009 10:43 AM
There's a Democrat in the White House? You mean John McCain really did win?
Where is this "democrat" that you speak of. Most real Democrats are either dead or now belong to the Repblican party. We have a socialist in the white house, not a democrat. If we had a real democrat I would be happy.
Far left radicals hijacked that party a long time ago people. Howard Dean is the prime example of dishonest evil pnozi scheme manufactured crisis crap on the planet - except Micheal Moore, then He's just an oversized blimp that would spout out we need communist "Cuban style healthcare" if someone gave him a fryed chicken leg in return.
Posted by: Speaker | July 2, 2009 10:03 PM
Speaker - and why do you care, exactly, about this "dishonest evil [sic] pnozi scheme"? Your kingdom is not of this world. Go find a cave to live out the rest of your miserable, fearful and sad little life in, whilst awaiting the rapture (should be along soonish*), and leave the rest of us to our real lives as we wish.
Or, alternatively, actually try and convince people they are wrong by force of arguement, backed up by evidence.
Paranoid delusions of persecution certainly don't convince anyone of the 'rightness' of your cause (whatever the hell that is), and is, in fact, driving moderates away from whatever you're trying to promote, into the (relatively sane) Democrat Party. The fact is your abnormal mental state has twisted your judgement completely backwards from reality; most 'true Republicans' are now either dead or Democrat. Sorry I was the one who had to break it to you. - DJ
^ 2,000 years and more and your still waiting? At least other gods were more punctual. I do so hate unpunctuality, it's very thoughtless and rude
Posted by: DingoJack | July 4, 2009 11:01 AM
Speaker:
There's an Orson Scott Card novel, "Speaker For The Dead" that I thought might be about you. After reading a few of your comments I think not. Perhaps you're "Speaker For The Deluded"?
I'm not sure if you stop to breathe when you talk, but you really should just relax and stop typing for a moment, from time to time, so that you can read and appreciate the Jacksom Pollockian precision of your wordsalad.
Posted by: democommie | July 4, 2009 11:14 AM
Demo - who is this Jacksom Pollock fellow? Surely you don't mean our old friend Jackson Pollock a.k.a 'Jack the Dripper' do you? ;)
Personally I think Speaker is trying more for a 'Palinesque' effect. If one of us posed as Katie Couric do you think it would help? - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | July 4, 2009 11:24 AM
DingoJack:
Why yes, yes I do! I was so concerned with not misspelling his last name that I didn't look at the first name.
I'm not doing Katie Couric, I might be able to pull off Helen Thomas, but Katie Couric? Notgonnahappen.
Posted by: democommie | July 4, 2009 4:59 PM