Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
I know this is the news you've all been waiting for. (Not) Joe the (not) Plumber has written a book. Well, he's got his name on the front of a book along with a professional ghost writer who actually wrote the book. And the Worldnutdaily is in full pimp daddy mode. The book is called -- you're gonna love this -- Joe the Plumber: Fighting for the American Dream. Even the advertisement for the book is written like a letter to the editor by a sub-literate wingnut:
"Joe The Plumber - Fighting for the American Dream" vividly captures the inside story behind Joe's 2008 Election experience, but also follows Joe's journey of Finding His Faith from a heartbreaking childhood to the many struggles he has faced in order to be a father to his son. This story is about everything going wrong and turning it around through Faith and Traditional American Values. Forget about politics! If you're tired of Corrupt Politicians, Terrorist-Sympathizing America-Haters, Corporate Fat-Cat Bail-Outs, and a complicit Federal Government trampling on your American Dreams, YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! You will laugh out loud. You will cry.
And wait till you see some of the reviews this epic tome is receiving.
I had some major goosebumps several times. Read this book! You will be truly inspired.--Margaret, Jenkins, KY
I feel chills already.
I just finished reading Joe's book and all I can say is WOW! I love how he thinks and expresses himself. I laughed during every chapter - it was so entertaining--Glynis, Biddeford, ME
Makes you all warm and fuzzy, doesn't it? Joe the Plumber has now written more books than he's read.
Politics
Comments
"Joe The Plumber - Fighting for the American Dream" vividly captures the inside story behind Joe's 2008 Election experience...
It starts out nonsensical and gets exponentially stupider every sentence? That...makes it worth reading, actually. Not buying, of course, but still.
Posted by: schism | July 17, 2009 11:48 AM
Posted by: Taz | July 17, 2009 11:53 AM
Why does it never occur to these people that they're the real "Terrorist-Sympathizing America-Haters"? Oh, yes...that's because people who don't look like them, believe like them, think like them or act like them aren't "real" Americans.
Posted by: Kate from Iowa | July 17, 2009 11:54 AM
You will laugh out loud. You will cry.
Why do I suspect this is a rare case of truth in advertizing?
Posted by: John Pieret | July 17, 2009 11:55 AM
Ed wrote: "(Not) Joe the (not) Plumber"
Oh, for the love of god...
As much as I despise Joe the Plumber, I'm tired of the "Joe's not even his real name" meme. Yes, it's his name -- his middle name. Since when did it become such a crime for someone to go by their middle name? Most people call me by my middle name, so does that mean that I'm also made of pure ebil, or at the very least deserve to be made fun of because of it?
And if not, why engage in such ad hominem nonsense? For a laugh? Come on, I expect better from you, Ed. There's so much to make fun of about this guy without going for such a non-issue as "OMFG -- he goes by his MIDDLE name? SHOCK! HORROR! ZING!"
Posted by: HDS | July 17, 2009 12:06 PM
RE: the book's title. You keep reachin' the for that rainbow, G.I. Joe! - :) DJ
PS: Can't wait until some real critiques come in. I'm betting those "elitists" {that is, anyone with a passing knowlege of literature, or even basic English) won't be getting much ephasis from Joe's back-yard vanity press publicity machine.
PPS: Don't worry about having to pay for G.I. Joe's book, wait six-months and there will be a plethora in any thrift shop (for under a dime!)
Posted by: DingoJack | July 17, 2009 12:13 PM
My dear "D" (#5) - Barrak Hussein Obama. Ring any bells? - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | July 17, 2009 12:17 PM
I assume he's talking about the real American Dream of getting your 15 min of fame and milking it for every last cent it's worth, not the BS one about achieving an upper middle class lifestyle through hard work. He has been fighting pretty hard for that first one.
Posted by: MattXIV | July 17, 2009 12:36 PM
DJ, here's what Joe had to say about why he went with a publisher that had a sum total of one previous publication, Tabback's Things Forgotten.
Riiight. I'm sure Simon & Schuster was pounding on his door.
Posted by: Abby Normal | July 17, 2009 12:41 PM
I'm torn. I kind of want to buy this book as a joke gift for my ultra 2A brother in law. But then in somehow and someway I will have supported this crazed lunatic.
Actually. Now that I think about it, this is exactly what I want to be doing. Let this guy be the shining "star" he always wanted to be.
Posted by: dark states | July 17, 2009 12:41 PM
Damn you, John Pieret, you stole my punch-line! ;)
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | July 17, 2009 12:42 PM
Even if John hadn't stolen my punchline, Sadie would still have beaten me to it. I'm just too slow today.
On the flip side, though, "Forget about politics!" could hardly be more false.
Posted by: Scott Hanley | July 17, 2009 1:00 PM
Abby - Things Forgotten and now G.I. Joe's memoirs - hmm I see a pattern emerging here :D - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | July 17, 2009 1:03 PM
Oh great, the same people who got "starburts" fantasizing about Sarah Palin, are now having the same reaction to Joe the Plumber. Yet another hilariously stoopid porn script that someone else will have to write. Is there a sequel to "Nailin' Palin" in the works? "Nailin' Palin's Bitches" maybe?
Posted by: Raging Bee | July 17, 2009 1:14 PM
@Abby Normal,
Didn't you read the blurb? He's just sick of Corporate Fat Cat Bailouts. His book is going to be so successful that it would be like a huge bailout to the Evil Terrorist Loving Publishing Houses in NEW YORK CITY!!!!11!!1
I do believe that both he and Sarah Palin want us to forget about the politics, at least for a while. "As long as the Republicans are loosers please don't think of me as one. Once they're winners again I'd like to be the face of the party."
Posted by: peaches | July 17, 2009 1:18 PM
Bee - A sequel prominently featuring a sequence involving several buckets of lube, fishing waders, a stuffed moose head and an over-sized 'plumber's friend' no doubt*.... :) - DJ
________
*but then again, I'm sure that's just my dirty mind
Posted by: DingoJack | July 17, 2009 1:27 PM
DJ, I thought I told you to stay out of my home movies.
Posted by: Abby Normal | July 17, 2009 1:37 PM
"YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK! You will laugh out loud. You will cry."
But will it become a part of me?
Posted by: Sastra | July 17, 2009 1:47 PM
For his next attempt to try to extend his D-list celebrity status, Joe the Plumber is going to show up on "Dancing with the Stars".....unless Sarah Palin beats him to it.
Maybe then he can try out for, "I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here!"
Posted by: Adrienne | July 17, 2009 1:53 PM
"You will cry."
No shit. Probably before the second page.
Posted by: Coragyps | July 17, 2009 2:10 PM
What?! No Kindle edition?
Posted by: yoshi | July 17, 2009 2:20 PM
@yoshi
I'm content with the book in it's current Kindling edition.
Disclaimer: No actual books were harmed in the making of this joke.
Posted by: Abby Normal | July 17, 2009 2:49 PM
HDS stated:
I think it's relevant for two reasons:
1) He lied about the business he was considering purchasing making $250K or more in net taxable income when he addressed Obama. Rather than threatening his supposed American dream, Obama's proposal if enacted would have cut that business' taxes. The business' gross sales weren't even close to that number, let alone the taxable income that is used to calculate taxes. Given his whole story is a lie, and actually means his concerns were better met by Obama and his guy McCain, continually noting the inconsistencies with that story is fair game.
2) It's my understanding that he didn't go by the name of Joe, he went by his first given name, Sam. Because he dishonestly told Obama his name was Joe rather than Sam, he was forced to continue using it. I did not have time to validate this so this is my understanding, I may be wrong on this assertion, but don't have time to look it up.
I'm a little more forgiving about the "plumber" moniker if he actually did plumbing work - I have no idea whether he did nor did not. There are plenty of guys working for non-union plumbing contractors who are plumbing while being unlicensed.
Posted by: Michael Heath | July 17, 2009 2:59 PM
Be sure to read the satirical review by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot:
In case it ever disappears, there's a screen shot over at PHB.
http://www.pamshouseblend.com/diary/12057/joe-the-plumberer-scribe
Posted by: LightningRose | July 17, 2009 3:10 PM
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | July 17, 2009 3:16 PM
two thoughts on this news.
1. Consider the effect on the electorate, caused by a thought process that goes like this:
*I value what Joe has done for the Republican Party.
*Democrats hate JTP, therefore I love him.
*I fear books, because the people who read seem to believe that they know more than I do, which is unconstitutional according to Rush, because we're all Americans. But,
*Joe deserves to be rewarded for what he has done, and all the attackin' he's suffered at the hands of the liberal media.
*I will buy the book, despite the risk of lip fatigue if I try to read it.
*I have read it! (mostly). It was not that hard to read! The words wasn't that big, and the sentences were not too tough. The ideas seemed to resonize with what I happened already independently to believe after listening to Glenn Beck on my radio.
*I already knew this stuff. Good thing I agree!
2. How saturated can the market possibly be for the insights of a person like Joe? Putting the hypocrisies aside--it takes secondary reading, desire, and the capacity to hold two concepts in mind simultaneously to manage any criticism at all--Can there be any doubt that his book will be the same pre-chewed twaddle served in a thousand church newsletters, reader's digests, and Malkin threads? Yet I have no doubt that the book will sell well, simply because it must in order to confirm that the movement Joe represents is legitimate and thriving. That means Rush and Savage and all the other idiots will plump it, and people will buy it, because those people believe that if the book sells, the ideas--the idea of the ideas, I suppose--have currency. So they will buy it to convey weight on a writer they believe needs to have weight so they can be reassured that they still have weight, that there is any weight at all.
But what will actually happen is that the book will make people who read it, and those who talk about it, stupider. I don't mean actually stupider, because they have hit the rock bottom of that particular stanine. I mean, they will have to actually engage the ideas Joe delivers. The wingnutosphere doesn't permit dissent. So if Joe includes a chapter on penguin-fucking, Glenn will have to endorse penguin fucking, and expand that to include sex with narwhals and cod and ancient cairns of stones. It's unlikely that there's anything startling in Joe's book, of course, but whatever Joe says, goes. I can't wait.
ice
Posted by: ice9 | July 17, 2009 3:26 PM
Think I'd rather read Mario the Plumber: Fighting the Koopa Paratroopas. Now there's a hero.
Posted by: I.Strange | July 17, 2009 3:37 PM
I.Strange:
Really, as far as plumbers go, Mario and Luigi are far more respectable than Joe. If its possible, I'd argue that, even though they're, you know, fictional, they're probably smarter than Joe. And better at kart racing, but that goes without saying.
Posted by: Sean Micheal | July 17, 2009 3:59 PM
I wrote the most popular Amazon review. Most all of the positive reviews are hilarious.
Posted by: Gen. JC Christian, patriot | July 17, 2009 4:27 PM
General, Sir:
So good to see you here, Sir. You know I can't read, but if I could I'd get that book of Joe's just because of your recommendacity.
Posted by: democommie | July 17, 2009 4:44 PM
That blurb is hilarious. Political slogans..."Forget about politics!"... then more political slogans.
Posted by: Nemo | July 17, 2009 6:40 PM
General, sa-lute. I notice that you have performed beautifully in your chosen niche lately. Goldman Sachs should bonus you into next week. Getting key words into the first sentence--perfect. Lord knows how many dishpits got that far and quit due to lip fatigue, gave you a positive, and continued on their merry way. Keep up it.
ice
Posted by: ice9 | July 17, 2009 6:44 PM
Does the book include a free box of 12 crayons to color in Joe's illustrations?
Posted by: CHV | July 17, 2009 8:01 PM
After reading through some of the amazon comments to the Great General's review, it still baffles me that some people are unable to detect written sarcasm. And then get worked up enough to write a very entertaining rebuttal.
Posted by: mishcakes | July 17, 2009 9:05 PM
Happy news. A book of reassuring affirmations for all the men who in America who've adopted an entire political ideology just to overcompensate for doubts about their masculinity.
Posted by: Dr X | July 17, 2009 10:35 PM
/totally heterosexual and biblically chaste salute @ Hte General.
Don't read a book to learn, write a book to learn. - Andrew "Assfly" Schlafly
Posted by: tincture | July 17, 2009 11:38 PM
I had a poke around the background of Joe the Plumber's co-author, Thomas Tabback: here
Posted by: Bartholomew | July 18, 2009 4:04 AM
Bartholomew:
Thanks. Now I know what that term, "spiraling downward into madness" really means.
In previous centuries, hucksters and charlatans had to keep moving from one community to the next, staying one step ahead of authorities and the angry crowds of those they had duped. That they were able to do this owed a lot to the primitive means of communication.
Nowadays, they not only show no fear of being exposed but actually welcome the broad dissemination of their nonsense. It helps them to sell more snake oil to the credulous.
There's an old saying that "There's a sucker born every minute."; it appears that many of them are in the batshit insane Bushbase.
Posted by: democommie | July 18, 2009 7:21 AM
I absolutely love the last sentence of this post! How true!
I am still hoping that this guy ends up running as someone's VP candidate in 2012.
Posted by: vjack | July 18, 2009 8:12 AM
I'll wait until it's made into a movie. Probably starring Chuck Norris.
Posted by: mark | July 18, 2009 8:16 AM
democommie - very precient observation if I understand you right. Are you claiming that in the past, frauds had to stay one step ahead their marks waking up to their con, but now days the sheep are so far gone they'll repeatedly and eagerly make return purchases of the same old snake oil? That was the light bulb that went off in my head reading your last post.
Posted by: Michael Heath | July 18, 2009 9:20 AM
I just finished reading Joe's book and all I can say is WOW! I love how he thinks and expresses himself.
I really don't want to live any more.
And some of you slammed me last week for suggesting they shouldn't be allowed to vote?
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | July 18, 2009 9:24 AM
Re HDS @ #5:
How do you know that Joe is his middle name? He has never released the official state copy of his birth certificate.
Posted by: JimV | July 18, 2009 12:36 PM
Michael Heath:
Yes, but, I also think that the ability for these idiots to immediately communicate with one another sets in to operation a sort of perpetual moron machine. They just can't enough of the snake oil.
Posted by: democommie | July 18, 2009 4:18 PM
I thought it was the corrupt politicians that gave him his 15 minutes of stretched out fame in the first place.
Posted by: Richard Eis | July 20, 2009 4:06 AM