Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
There may be one hitting the market -- and cheap. It seems the feds have now seized Kent Hovind's "theme park" (read: bunch of wooden dinosaur cutouts in his back yard), Dinosaur Adventure Land for payment of back taxes.
A federal judge has cleared the way for the government's seizure of a creationism theme park in Pensacola.A ruling this week says the nine properties that make up Dinosaur Adventure Land, and two bank accounts associated with the park will be used to satisfy $430,400 in restitution owed to the federal government.
But true to form, this follows a long attempt by Hovind and his hilariously incompetent but equally loopy attorney Glen Stoll to find some weird scheme to avoid the inevitable, as the judge's ruling (PDF) reveals:
In 2002, Hovind wanted to create an independent structure for CSE, and to that end he sought the services of Glenn Stoll, director of a corporation known as Remedies at Law and, according to the company's literature, its general counsel. Stoll and Remedies at Law promoted the formation of religious-based business organizations through pre-packaged plans that established "personal ministries." Stoll claimed such ministries could be created by completing a one-page Declaration of Status asking the declarant to answer several questions about his or her purpose, loyalties, and function in life. According to Stoll, answering these questions was a faith-based political statement that gave rise to "a lawfully established unincorporated association of pure trust." This generalized trust, in turn, was said to create a "ministerial trust" once it was reduced to written form. Stoll claimed his ministerial trusts provided a way to manage a ministry's assets, including the ability to hold and manage assets on a tax-free basis. The latter arrangement required associating each ministerial trust with a corporation sole created under Washington law. Stoll had already established several corporations sole at the time Kent Hovind hired him to restructure CSE, including entities under the names of the Director of Ecclesiastical Enterprises and the Firm Foundation. Remedies at Law stated these corporations sole were entitled to "mandatory exceptions from federal, state or local taxation or secular license by their very nature." By appointing a corporation sole as trustee of the ministerial trust, Stoll promised the trust could claim the same tax-exempt status as the corporation sole. Kent Hovind took advantage of Stoll's services by creating his own personal ministry through a Declaration of Purpose on May 12, 2003. A formal written trust agreement was executed on May 21, 2003, creating a trust named Creation Science Evangelism Ministry ("CSE Ministry") with the corporation sole, Director of Ecclesiastical Enterprises, as trustee.Stoll issued it a business license from the "Kingdom of Heaven." Stoll and Hovind also
created a second ministerial trust the same day, named it the Creation Science Evangelism Foundation ("CSE Foundation"), and also issued it a Kingdom of Heaven license. As the conveyance deeds noted below show, Stoll's corporation sole, the Firm Foundation, acted as trustee for the CSE Foundation. With these entities in place, the Hovinds began a complex process of transferring nine of the ten real properties at issue in this forfeiture proceeding to various ministerial trusts. Five were conveyed to trusts specifically created for each of the properties.
Needless to say, the court recognized this as a scam and didn't buy it at all. The ruling also notes that Stoll is not licensed to practice law anywhere in the country (though I am assured that he did pass the bar exam in the Kingdom of Heaven) and that a federal court in 2005 ordered him to stop using this scam because it's illegal. And yes, this kind of thing leaves me with a smile on my face and a little extra pep in my step. I find it hilarious.
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I imagine the defenders of the park will cite this as further proof of the Darwinist Conspiricy dedicated to silencing them.
Posted by: Suricou Raven | August 2, 2009 9:31 AM
Not interested! However, should animatronic dinosaurs from Kentucky ever become available ... ;-)
Posted by: The Science Pundit | August 2, 2009 9:37 AM
I've never understood or known where to look for this: do churches or religious organizations pay any taxes at all? Even property taxes? If not, how does a local or state government justify providing them any tax-based or subsidized government services (e.g. trash collection)?
Posted by: Chris | August 2, 2009 10:02 AM
Are the licenses valid if granted by a foreign entity (The Kingdom of Heaven)? And has President Obama appointed an ambassador to this place? I wonder if our country is flooded with illegal aliens from this kingdom.
Posted by: mark | August 2, 2009 10:18 AM
Ed:
Do any of the dinos have a Jesus in chaps riding them?
Posted by: democommie | August 2, 2009 10:19 AM
Ed stated:
Perhaps Ham paradoxically* naming one of his entities the Creation Science Evangelism Foundation was the court's first hunch of said scam [italics mine].
* In the contradictory sense
Posted by: Michael Heath | August 2, 2009 10:29 AM
In partial answer to Chris @ #3, in California most churches file and qualify for a welfare exemption and are therefore exempt from property taxes. The exemption is available for any property used exclusively for religious or charitable purposes or as a hospital. So, at least in CA, churches, charities and hospitals do not necessarily have to pay property taxes but (to the best of my knowledge) may still receive the same taxpayer funded services as everyone else. Of course there are a whole bunch of caveats and exceptions, but the broader point stands.
Posted by: peaches | August 2, 2009 1:17 PM
It sounds like there's a lot of humor mileage to be had here if someone can get scans of these documents. "A business license from the 'Kingdom of Heaven'"? Priceless.
Posted by: Douglas McClean | August 2, 2009 4:45 PM
As the United States does not have either diplomatic relations nor commercial treaties with the Kingdom of Heaven, it does not have to recognize any business licenses issued by said kingdom.
Posted by: James Hanley | August 2, 2009 5:47 PM
I would like to volunteer to be ambassador to the Kingdom of Heaven. Given I'd be the conduit from God to the country, I'd be needing to tell the Prez how we'll need a mobile embassy given the fact His kingdom moves around based on the season and what God's up for sports-wise. I'll also need a helluva budget to hang with God, he tells me he favors Pebble Beach, Monaco, Jackson Hole, and Tahiti.
God's already provided me with his first request. He wants to host a game show where he gets to judge those that most annoy him. He tells me it'll be a comedy, kinda like a Friar's Club roast, only with a more literal ending; after all, he's a black and white kinda guy who despises nuance.
Posted by: Michael Heath | August 2, 2009 6:03 PM
Michael Heath- "I would like to volunteer to be ambassador to the Kingdom of Heaven."
Whew. Think of the shoes.
Uh...um...I mean.... it would be so...spiritually rewarding.
Yeah.
Posted by: Rick R | August 2, 2009 6:09 PM
Never mind business licenses, the Kingdom of Heaven also issues license plates for cars (that site is the Kingdom of Heaven's official embassy.)
Posted by: jpf | August 2, 2009 6:35 PM
Don't worry, they've got valid passports. (You can get one too -- $53 cheap!)
I linked to all the wacky things on the Kingdom of Heaven's site the last time this came up here (e.g. citizens of Heaven must sign the title of their cars... sorry, "Kingdom of Heaven vehicles"... over to the Embassy) so I'm not going to go through all that again, but suffice to say that if you go to the root site you'll find hours of insane fun.
I especially like how they have a very long guidebook on going to jail (presumably what Kent Hovind read before he went), and they keep a "Currently in Jail"/"Recently in Jail" list on their sidebar like its some sort of honor.
Also, you can cure all disease by drinking Lemonade, I shit you not.
Ok, I have to stop looking now or I'll be here all night.
Posted by: jpf | August 2, 2009 6:54 PM
Posted by: llewelly | August 2, 2009 7:43 PM
Does it bother anyone that the judge called a recess after the prosecution's final arguments, and just before the defense's final arguments, and went to his chambers and completely rewrote the jury instructions so that Mr. Hovind could be found guilty of something? Under the original instructions he could not have been found guilty of any crime.
The new instructions were even contrary to what the law actually says. He only did so after first consulting with the prosecuter to make sure if they actually wanted to do this and risk a mistrial. The prosecuter said the risk was worth it. This information was published by someone who has been covering this type of trials for 16 years. You may not like Mr. Hovind, but what a miscarriage of justice.
The judge hated Mr. Hovind so much he rejected the sentence suggested by the prosecution of one year, and gave him ten years instead. The attempted appointees of President Obama did far worse crimes and they are still running around.
Posted by: Arv Edgeworth | August 3, 2009 7:17 AM
Arv Edgeworth:
Citations, documentation and exhibits? We won't do your homework for you, you know. We don't hate Mr. Hovind. Most of us think he's a despicable piece of shit (hereinafter called "scumbag for Jesus" or, just "scumbag") and deserves everything bad that will happen to him in this life--the only one he will have. However, it's nice that folks like you will be "keeping the faith" while Kenty Boy is in stir. If any of what you say is true, particularly the part about the judge hating the scumbag, it will all come out in what will be, no doubt, interminable appeals.
Posted by: democommie | August 3, 2009 7:46 AM
Boy democommie, you sure are a stickler. "Someone who has been covering this type of trials for 16 years" isn't enough of a citation for you?
Posted by: Taz | August 3, 2009 8:59 AM
Piling on to democommie's comment about #15's claims. A judge supposedly "hating" someone so much they circumvent justice would be an extraordinary event, and therefore requires extraordinary evidence. My understanding is that Hovind failed to pay taxes for years and argued he was exempt from paying taxes. As a taxpayer I want such claims investigated and prosecuted aggressively, and if found guilty, stiffly punished. If Mr. Edgeworth has compelling evidence Hovind was not a tax cheat and did not receive a fair trial, let's see it.
I have a hunch however this story by Mr. Edgeworth is the same as nearly all other fundie Christian myth stories, it's merely a meme that grossly misrepresents what actually occurred during these proceedings and that Mr. Edgeworth is not capable of presenting evidence to the standards us science-friendly people demand of ourselves and all others if we're to take them seriously.
One piece of evidence my hunch is correct is that Mr. Edgeworth fails to note that trial court results can be appealed and Hovind did appeal. The U.S. 11th Circuit Court of Appeals, sided with the trial court judge in ruling that Hovind's attempts to dismiss his conviction was "without merit."
Posted by: Michael Heath | August 3, 2009 9:16 AM
Please excuse the lack of citation supporting my above assertion regarding my suspicion of Mr. Edgeworth's claims. I inadvertently pressed "post" rather than "preview" prior to adding the link to the above post.
Here is the 11th Circuit ruling www.ca11.uscourts.gov/unpub/ops/200710090.pdf which affirms the trial court's decision and sentencing.
Posted by: Michael Heath | August 3, 2009 9:23 AM
Taz:
My bad, I thought he said 15 years.
Posted by: democommie | August 3, 2009 9:36 AM
All about Mr. Arv:
http://www.truthandscience.net/aboutus.htm
Posted by: WBPNYC | August 3, 2009 3:26 PM
Thanks for the link WBPNYC, I see he too is a fraud running a con that abuses kids and pollutes the public square.
Posted by: Michael Heath | August 3, 2009 5:16 PM
Arv Edgeworth:
Apparently apologies are due. Here I was thinking you're just some well-intentioned but cluesless dolt who was supporting the scumbag out of a misplaced sense of evenhandendness. Now I see that you're just as much of a piece of shit fuckbag as Hovind. Eat shit.
Posted by: democommie | August 3, 2009 8:37 PM
Growing up fundie I was exposed to the Hovindocracy but have since managed to mature or I might say evolve. ugh dark times those.
Thanks for the link to the court's document Heath, the best thing I've read today. "Kent and Jo Hovind raise multiple issues for our consideration. Their arguments fail."
Indeed.
Posted by: Bostonese | August 4, 2009 10:42 PM
"By your fruits you shall know them."
Posted by: Kathy Jaggers | August 8, 2009 9:31 AM