Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
It turns out that God doesn't just send really big storms like Hurricane Katrina to express his hatred for gay equality; he also sends smaller storms like almost-kinda tornadoes.
A Baptist pastor and popular Calvinist author says it was no accident that tornado-force winds hit downtown Minneapolis the same week that the nation's largest Lutheran group was meeting there to debate liberalizing its policies toward gays.John Piper, pastor of Bethlehem Baptist Church in Minneapolis, wrote in an Aug. 20 blog that powerful winds that ripped through the city Aug. 19 were "a gentle but firm warning" to the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America.
God seems to have a difficult time calibrating his messages if this is gentle:
The storm, which has not yet been confirmed as a tornado, caused roof and water damage to the Minneapolis Convention Center, where the ELCA was holding its national convention. About 2,200 people were registered for the convention. People inside the building were taken to a safe location, and there were no reports of injury, according to the Associated Press.Just across the street, winds damaged the steeple and shattered windows at Minneapolis' Central Lutheran Church, which was also being used as an ELCA meeting venue. About 120 people were inside, a church spokesman told the AP.
Piper cited Bible passages to make the case that official church statements condoning sin dishonor God, Jesus Christ controls the wind and that everyone faces calamity unless they all repent.
Piper said God's message to Lutherans is: "Turn from the approval of sin. Turn from the promotion of behaviors that lead to destruction. Reaffirm the great Lutheran heritage of allegiance to the truth and authority of Scripture. Turn back from distorting the grace of God into sensuality. Rejoice in the pardon of the cross of Christ and its power to transform left- and right-wing sinners."
This really is just a bizarre conception of god to me (though it does conform to the Bible's conception of God, which was probably the most important reason why I left Christianity). God as mafioso. I see no reason to worship such a barbaric creature even if it did exist.
Politics
Comments
Heh. I'm not the only one for whom this conjures up an image of Jesus as a cheesy 50s DC comics villain, right?
Posted by: Morgan | August 25, 2009 9:43 AM
Personally was thinking of Storm from X-Men...
Posted by: dogmeatib | August 25, 2009 9:45 AM
Well, if I was the Reich Reverend Parker, I'd be gettin' the hell out of Dodge--since the Lutherans decided that they CAN live with gay clergy. GOD's next "warning" may involve a meteor striking the city and wiping out all forms of life within a 200 mile radius of downtown.
Posted by: democommie | August 25, 2009 9:50 AM
Lex Lutheran?
We shouldn't be too harsh on this mad stupid preacher.
At least he's suggesting a hypothesis and presenting some evidence. Maybe science IS compatible with religion after all!
(Just not Lutheranism)
Posted by: Sigmund | August 25, 2009 9:53 AM
Amazing how so many of the pious know the mind of God while their theologians simultaneously tell us that His mind is unknowable.
Posted by: gingerbaker | August 25, 2009 9:57 AM
That was just another friendly warning shot by God but the homos didn't get it. Of course, they didn't get HIV and AIDS was personally sent for them either.... anal cancer from anal sex.... I could go on and on and on but what is the point. Talking to a homosexual is like talking to the wall.
Posted by: Conservative Mark | August 25, 2009 9:58 AM
ConservativeMark @6:
Talking to a homosexual is like talking to the wall.
Whereas talking to conservative Christians is like talking to bratty little children who stick their fingers in their ears and scream "I CAAAN'T HEAR YOUUUUU!!!!!!"
And tell me, CM, how come God doesn't use swarms of locusts or teeming masses of frogs as warnings anymore? Or turn waters into blood? Think he's getting up there in years and can't quite send the scourges like he used to when he was younger, maybe?
Posted by: Adrienne | August 25, 2009 10:07 AM
CM @6:
Of course, they didn't get HIV and AIDS was personally sent for them either.
Neither did those heathen medical scientists who came up with the drugs to control the symptoms of and greatly extend the lifespans of those with HIV/AIDS either.
Posted by: Adrienne | August 25, 2009 10:09 AM
I guess if it is "no accident" that tornado force winds hit Minneanapolis during that Lutheran group meeting, it also must be "no accident" whenever there is a gay pride event and the weather is sunny and pleasantly warm.
This idea of Jesus Christ as a puppet master who controls the weather just reminds me of Bela Lugosi in Glen or Glenda... The only difference between that movie and Piper's conception of God is that the former makes more sense.
Posted by: Imrryr | August 25, 2009 10:10 AM
You’re website has very good infos. I learned very a lot from reading these.
Posted by: supra shoes | August 25, 2009 10:11 AM
@Conservative Mark -
So wait, all those aids sufferers in Africa are gay too? God. Has. Lousy. Aim.
Posted by: Imrryr | August 25, 2009 10:13 AM
The spammer at #10 should ask for a refund for his English lessons.
Posted by: Squiddhartha | August 25, 2009 10:16 AM
ConservativeMark- So what you're saying is that meterology is not so much a science of weather prediction as it is a science of predicting who god's pissed at and when they're gonna get it?
Posted by: AL Jeremy | August 25, 2009 10:18 AM
I wonder if Piper considered that the warning might be for the Lutherans intending to vote against the measure. :-)
Posted by: Erp | August 25, 2009 10:21 AM
AL Jeremy: That's nonsense and you know it.
Meteorology is in fact a speciality of Lepidoptery, the trick is figuring out which butterfly caused which storm.
Posted by: hellocthulu | August 25, 2009 10:31 AM
"...anal cancer from anal sex..."
Then why don't lesbians get tongue cancer from eating box?
Posted by: Captain Mike | August 25, 2009 10:43 AM
Conservative Mark, #6: Of course, they didn't get HIV and AIDS was personally sent for them either....
Oh, is that who HIV was for? I thought it was for all the faithful monogamous people who got it from their unfaithful spouses. I guess God has a pretty poor aim, eh?
I'd call you an idiot, but I can't shake the feeling that your post is actually meant to be a spoof of what evangelidiots say.
Posted by: Chiroptera | August 25, 2009 10:47 AM
"...anal cancer from anal sex..."
So you're saying that God has been defeated by Merck and GSK? Omnipotence just ain't what it used to be, huh?
Posted by: Shygetz | August 25, 2009 10:52 AM
Well, if we are going to cherry-pick our evidence, I choose to interpret every crash involving a church bus or van as a not-so-subtle repudiation of that particular church's dogma.
Wow, it really feels GREAT to have the heavenly Smiter as my own personal bully-boy!
Posted by: carey | August 25, 2009 10:54 AM
Captain Mike, the Bible says we're made in God's image. Yet God has no physical form (or at least didn't until a few thousand years later). So that passage must be refering to our spirit. Our soul is like God. So we can get hints as to what God is like by observing ourselves. Given what I've seen on the internet, it's a fair bet that God has a thing for lesbians, not to mention wrestling, anime, and Britney Spears.
Posted by: Abby Normal | August 25, 2009 10:58 AM
If Piper's god is real, then he must really hate poor people, who usually bear the brunt of natural disasters. Then again, so much for "the meek shall inherit the Earth", huh?
Posted by: Teleprompter | August 25, 2009 11:00 AM
Conservative Mark
I have been a happly married man for 19 years now. But for some strange reason you are turning me on... Are you single?
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 11:12 AM
In other news, a new poll shows that 98% of all Christians are completly unaware of the concept of Confirmation Bias.
Posted by: GregB | August 25, 2009 11:12 AM
It seems like you see exactly why people worship this version of god. It's the same reason people kiss the ass of dictators and mafia bosses. It's based on fear of punishment and the hope of getting in good with them, so you can reap the rewards of their cruelty.
Posted by: penn | August 25, 2009 11:18 AM
"This really is just a bizarre conception of god to me ... God as mafioso."
That's a nice little church social you got there. Be a shame if something were to....happen to it.
Posted by: Rick R | August 25, 2009 11:22 AM
penn
Which can be extrapolated into the reasoning behind recent movies glorifying violence directed toward Jesus. Christians are the worlds biggest victims according to their movies and whining on TV and the internet. And through their tireless and righteous ways of pure living they may one day hope to be whisked away from the earth with out dying like the rest of us who will be force to by the Christian's very judgmental and rather cruel sounding God.
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 11:25 AM
Chiroptera@17
It's also for people who got it from blood transfusions. Clearly, God wants us all to become lesbians or celibate, Jehovah's Witnesses.
Posted by: Dr X | August 25, 2009 11:39 AM
Did anyone consider that Conservative Mark's post was facetious?
Posted by: Jordan G | August 25, 2009 11:46 AM
Yes and no. It could be facetious but having seen and read a lot of homophobic remarks and having homophobes in my family, I think he was being honest with his fear.
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 11:58 AM
@Jordan G: That was my first thought.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | August 25, 2009 12:03 PM
So god is just a protection racket? Don't we have laws against that?
Posted by: James Hanley | August 25, 2009 12:16 PM
I think this pastor got it all backwards. God was sending them a message, but he was warning them not to discriminate against gay people, seeing that they are neighbors and therefore must be loved. My interpretation is supported by the fact that my mom's church has gay members and they have never experienced anything even close to a tornado. And of course, my interpretation makes as much sense as this pastor's does.
Posted by: catgirl | August 25, 2009 12:32 PM
@ Sadie Morrison: Mine too, but if so it's really well (i.e., poorly) written.
Posted by: Captain Mike | August 25, 2009 12:40 PM
So Jesus Christ is in charge of breaking wind? Didn't Bill Cosby say that was Dad's job? I'm confused...
Posted by: Dan | August 25, 2009 12:42 PM
John Piper - a Calvinist who says that if God chooses to damn his children, he's fine with it:
I have three sons. Every night after they are asleep I turn on the hall light, open their bedroom door, and walk from bed to bed, laying my hands on them and praying. Often I am moved to tears of joy and longing. I pray that Karsten Luke become a great physician of the soul, that Benjamin John become the beloved son of my right hand in the gospel, and that Abraham Christian give glory to God as he grows strong in his faith.
But I am not ignorant that God may not have chosen my sons for his sons. And, though I think I would give my life for their salvation, if they should be lost to me, I would not rail against the Almighty. He is God. I am but a man. The potter has absolute rights over the clay. Mine is to bow before his unimpeachable character and believe that the Judge of all the earth has ever and always will do right.
And there are Calvinists who dislike Piper because they think he's too soft.
I call it the "Bigger Bastard" principle (based upon the "Bigger Fool" principle of investing): whenever you think an evangelical is about as big a bastard as could be - there's always a bigger one.
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | August 25, 2009 1:13 PM
That Jesus guy sounds like the drunken uncle at a family BBQ who wanders around asking whoever he meets to pull his finger.
Meanwhile in local news:
AIDS cases on the rise. The twist? AIDS cases in the gay community have been stable for over a decade. Guess god has got over Jesus being gay, eh?
Wild storms with wind gusts up to 120km/h. So far far god seems to hate high rise hotels (awning torn from hotel), House roofs out west (wind rips roof off, tile by tile) and parked cars (various cars crushed by falling branches). Does god have ADHD or something? - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | August 25, 2009 1:30 PM
Funny, no natural disaster ever struck Dr. Tiller's church, which is also ELCA-- it took a person to do that. So I guess God's against the gays but a-okay with late-term abortion.
Posted by: Gretchen | August 25, 2009 1:34 PM
Jordan G, #28: Did anyone consider that Conservative Mark's post was facetious?
Well, I think that most of the replies still work as responses to even a tongue-in-cheek post.
Posted by: Chiroptera | August 25, 2009 1:34 PM
You know your god is made-up when he hates all the same things you hate.
Posted by: Brandon | August 25, 2009 1:53 PM
The easy response to that, Brandon, is that no, you hate all of the things God hates.
Posted by: Gretchen | August 25, 2009 2:13 PM
For only $99.99 (payable to my paypal address), you can have your own custom deity that shares all of your pet hates!
Posted by: Andreas Johansson | August 25, 2009 2:17 PM
Forget Andreas offer - for a mere fifty bucks, I will customize a deity to your liking. You can even join the pantheon, for a mere fifteen dollars more!!!
For $69 you can even be the NEW messiah!!!!
Posted by: DuWayne | August 25, 2009 2:40 PM
I am always passing wind and I am not a god.
Posted by: Bob | August 25, 2009 3:08 PM
Hell, I know a couple of genuine DD's that'll make a
profitprophet out you at only $20*. - :) DJ___________
*And that's at around 82 cents in the dollar folks!
Posted by: Dingojack | August 25, 2009 3:11 PM
So what was God trying to tell the Potter Community Church in Garfield County, Oklahoma last month?
http://www.news9.com/Global/story.asp?S=8536782
Or the Hickory Grove Missionary Baptist Church of Hancock County, Georgia in February?
http://www.macon.com/149/story/625469.html
I found others, but you get the point. A tornado in Minnesota hit a Lutheran church? What are the odds?
Posted by: Origuy | August 25, 2009 3:26 PM
You've been seeing offers for a god for $99.99 or even $49.99. But MY GOD™ won't cost you $99.99, $49.99 or even $19.99. No, my friend, MY GOD™" is going to cost you just $9.99. And there won't be any S&H because, here it comes! "MY GOD™" is OMNIPRESENT. That's right, folks, HE is everywhere. So just hurry up and send in your $9.99 (+ convenience fee of $190.00) and "MY GOD™" will be in your presence before you can say, "Hallelujah! PTL!!".
Posted by: democommie | August 25, 2009 3:41 PM
The Pastor blogger at the Houston Chronicle, Ken Gurley, climbed up on his high horse to say the Lutherans had it coming as well.
Chron.com Reap What You Sow
Posted by: Bouj | August 25, 2009 5:17 PM
It was also the day Brett Favre signed with the Vikings.
Just sayin'
Posted by: Anne | August 25, 2009 5:38 PM
GreB:
That's because they weren't paying attention when it was given to them during those important Sunday School classes when they were 13.
Posted by: natural cynic | August 25, 2009 5:41 PM
Lemme get this straight. A tornado is a "gentle warning" to >Lutherans????? Tornadoes aren't exactly gentle warnings. . . . And last I heard, Lutherans are Christians. Maybe that's why they decided they could live with gay clergy.
Anne G
Posted by: Anne Gilbert | August 25, 2009 5:43 PM
I hear you, Ed. I use similar language frequently in conversation. I did leave the church for other reasons but as time has passed I've come to see that the deity of choice in America is just a punk-ass. And I will not suffer a punk-ass, even if he's (it's) bigger than me. The bigger they are . . . (I learned that on the playground in second grade. Won some fights and some bets with that knowledge,too.)
gingerbaker said at #5:
Too true. Way too true. It's almost as if their god is no longer ineffable, above the struggling reach of mere human understanding. Or believers are becoming little gods themselves and piercing the veil through simply projecting their fears and hatreds. Poor little things.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | August 25, 2009 5:44 PM
@46. You forgot to say "But wait! There's more!" and then throw in the whole trinity and/or a few apostles.
Posted by: wrpd | August 25, 2009 7:22 PM
wrpd:
Then what do I sell next week? GOD may be infinite but sales spiels are not!
Posted by: democommie | August 25, 2009 8:17 PM
A warning from God? Lutherans endorse homosexuality after tornado hits convention
http://www.prophecynewswatch.com/August24/2451.html
--------------------
I hate to see so many demonic forces gaining control of the world these days. Anytime I talk to someone especialliy on these notoriously evil science blog sicko sites, the evil is blatantly revealed in the person's remarks. it's almost as if I am speaking directly to the demonic force controlling the mind of the liberal rather than the person himself. It's kinda weird that Satanic forces abound everywhere - especially on the liberalism/marxism side.
Posted by: Piltdown man | August 25, 2009 10:18 PM
Yes, God controls the wind and everything - since HE CREATED IT!
I am the LORD, and there is no other;
apart from me there is no God.
I will strengthen you,
though you have not acknowledged me,
6 so that from the rising of the sun
to the place of its setting
men may know there is none besides me.
I am the LORD, and there is no other.
7 I form the light and create darkness,
I bring prosperity and create disaster;
I, the LORD, do all these things.
8 "You heavens above, rain down righteousness;
let the clouds shower it down.
Let the earth open wide,
let salvation spring up,
let righteousness grow with it;
I, the LORD, have created it.
9 "Woe to him who quarrels with his Maker,
to him who is but a potsherd among the potsherds on the ground.
Does the clay say to the potter,
'What are you making?'
Does your work say,
'He has no hands'?
10 Woe to him who says to his father,
'What have you begotten?'
or to his mother,
'What have you brought to birth?'
11 "This is what the LORD says—
the Holy One of Israel, and its Maker:
Concerning things to come,
do you question me about my children,
or give me orders about the work of my hands?
12 It is I who made the earth
and created mankind upon it.
My own hands stretched out the heavens;
I marshaled their starry hosts.
Isaiah 45:5-12
Sorry, atheists, you are wrong - again!
And here lies your fate within the same text:
18 For this is what the LORD says—
he who created the heavens,
he is God;
he who fashioned and made the earth,
he founded it;
he did not create it to be empty,
but formed it to be inhabited—
he says:
"I am the LORD,
and there is no other.
19 I have not spoken in secret,
from somewhere in a land of darkness;
I have not said to Jacob's descendants,
'Seek me in vain.'
I, the LORD, speak the truth;
I declare what is right.
20 "Gather together and come;
assemble, you fugitives from the nations.
Ignorant are those who carry about idols of wood,
who pray to gods that cannot save.
21 Declare what is to be, present it—
let them take counsel together.
Who foretold this long ago,
who declared it from the distant past?
Was it not I, the LORD ?
And there is no God apart from me,
a righteous God and a Savior;
there is none but me.
22 "Turn to me and be saved,
all you ends of the earth;
for I am God, and there is no other.
23 By myself I have sworn,
my mouth has uttered in all integrity
a word that will not be revoked:
Before me every knee will bow;
by me every tongue will swear.
24 They will say of me, 'In the LORD alone
are righteousness and strength.' "
All who have raged against him
will come to him and be put to shame.
Posted by: Piltdown Man | August 25, 2009 10:24 PM
Well the use of Piltdown man as a handle is funny. But usually people use a fraudulant idea as a platform to be funny. Im not lauphing but I am going to assume for now Piltdown man is a prank
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 10:30 PM
Is anyone else amused by these entrail-readers' ability to reject Matthew 5:45?
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | August 25, 2009 10:33 PM
Actually since you are an atheist, you are not allowed to quote something that you belive never happened. Stop quoting verses that you do not beleive in from people whom you do not believe existed. Please. It only worls if you beleive in what you quote in scripture. Atheists gave up the right to quote scripture when they gave up their faith in their creator. Only belivers have the right to quote it.
Quote darwin instead. he is your God now and his ramblings are your scriptures.
I'll stick with the Almighty who allowed darwin to be born in the first place.
Posted by: Piltdown man | August 25, 2009 10:51 PM
The tornado, the Lutherans, and homosexuality
http://www.prophecynewswatch.com/August24/2452.html
Posted by: Piltdown Man | August 25, 2009 10:56 PM
Piltdown man is funny
I bet there is not a single non Christian that he as not judged as inferior to him dispite his Jesus telling him that it is not his place to judge others it is only reserved for his god.
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 10:58 PM
Hey Piltdown man do you give your slaves Sundays off? And given the time of evening should you not be sleeping with at least one of your wives (pantaloom cleaned and ready of course) rather then walking in the Valley of Death?
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 11:04 PM
funny Pitdown. What you quoted tells me you believe in a powerful God...not a good one. If you want to be the slave of that diety that's fine. Knee before the one who brings disaster. Pledge to serve the one who would bring pain and suffering. Me I think that's something to fight.
If I can't quote the bible because I reject it..does that mean since you reject science you don't use technology? But how are you using the internet? I don't get it. the rejection thing only goes one way?
Remember you can't just copy and paste the bible to get credit in your bible class assignment that requires you to post comments on Atheist sites. Keep typing to get to 2000 words.
Posted by: Harknights | August 25, 2009 11:05 PM
Okay, then, Pilty, take it from me (as one who, according to your inane reasoning, is allowed to quote Scripture): DC is correct at least to a degree (depending on how you construe the comment in its context; at very least, it suggests that Christians shouldn't expect justice on earth, which is along the same lines). See, there's this odd thing: sometimes atheists are demonstrably right, just as Christians are
sometimesoften demonstrably wrong. If you would be more concerned with trying to correctly discern what is true rather than discounting those who believe differently than you, you'd be well aware of that. Sadly, I doubt that awareness is your strong suit.Posted by: The Christian Cynic | August 25, 2009 11:09 PM
To be fare to Piltdown man the assignment does not say his posts must be his own words.
Posted by: theroachman | August 25, 2009 11:09 PM
I hate to see so many demonic forces gaining control of the world these days...
You mean like bigotry, divisiveness, intolerance, use of holy texts to justify evil actions, scapegoating, false witness against people who have done no wrong, willful ignorance, refusal to use the brains our God(s) gave us, seeking joy and vindication in the misfortunes of others, that sort of thing? I hate to see it too. What are you doing about it, boy?
Posted by: Raging Bee | August 25, 2009 11:16 PM
Just a thought: Those who see demons everywhere are probably projecting their own "demons" onto others. I think the "demons" Raging Bee mentions are a pretty good start to that list.
Posted by: The Christian Cynic | August 25, 2009 11:19 PM
Piltdown man has got to be a poe. No one is really that stupid, right?
Posted by: Ramel | August 25, 2009 11:32 PM
democommie: Try Hindu gods. May not be as popular but there sure is a heck of them.
The other night I saw a commercial with Billy Mays. All the verbs were in the present tense. Apparently, there is a need for Oxyclean in the afterlife.
Posted by: wrpd | August 26, 2009 12:43 AM
I should point out that a week earlier, a number of people in Eldora, Iowa lost power for two days due to gale-force wonds. Is this god's way of getting back at Eldora for Iowa legalzing gay marriage, even though Des Moines, where the judges who made the decisions, and Polk County, where the people who brought the case lived, were untouched?
Posted by: Ace of Sevens | August 26, 2009 12:43 AM
I am sure that Lutherans appreciate being instructed by Baptists. Cause if they believed the same things as Baptists then they would be Baptists, and not Lutherans. Oh, and why don't moderate sinners get transformed?
Posted by: Mike Haubrich, FCD | August 26, 2009 12:51 AM
Sadly, the ever deranged Pilty is real.
A lost, lonely, sad little man, drifting lower and lower into the morass of his own making. He has been thrown a lifeline many times, but he refused to grasp it, so now let him sink from sight unregarded and in silence*. Vale Pilty! :(
_____________________________
*Or in short, DO NOT FEED THE TROLLS.
Posted by: DingoJack | August 26, 2009 3:35 AM
@ ConversaMike, Uncle Pilty:
Notice how no one can tell whether you guys are for real or not?
Poe's Law:
To those of us who live outside the asylum, quoting scripture as if you're scoring points with your imaginary, hate-filled sky fairy and expressing certainty about the mind of a god that you claim is otherwise mysterious and unknowable is so completely unhinged logically that we can't tell whether you're joking or if it's time to up your meds. See, it doesn't strike us as profound. Just sad and silly.
And CM- C'mon, buddy. Quoting the Bible is reserved for those who are
faithfuldelusional? Very well. You are hereby forbidden to use antibiotics. No more PowerPoint presentations at Sunday services and get off your computer this instant. And you'd better pick up some stout walking shoes because cars and even bikes are now no longer options to who've turned their backs on science. And since I'm feeling a little smiteful, tighten up your belts: no foods that have been pasteurized, brought to bear their bounty through the aid of pesticides or genetic engineering, nor any foods that have been frozen or even refrigerated. The upside is that when your god throws another tantrum, you can eat all the locusts and frogs that your heart desires.I have spoken.
Posted by: Pi Guy | August 26, 2009 6:10 AM
I guess us atheists folks will need to hire a liberal minded Christian to quote scripture for us, since we're not allowed to do it ourselves. Although, I imagine that when Piltdown Man says "only believers are allowed to quote scripture", he really means "true-believers" (i.e. only people who believe exactly as he does).
Interesting approach sir, quoting scripture to atheists who you know don't believe those verses were written or inspired by God. It would have been equally as effective, and arguably more entertaining, if you had quoted 'The Illiad' or 'Thor's Journey to Utgard' instead.
Posted by: Imrryr | August 26, 2009 8:35 AM
While the two Poe-examples are sad enough, the ProphecyNewsWatch site has a poll, asking whether the storm is indeed a threat from God; 93% voted yes. 93%...I know, internet poll and all that, but still, jeez.
http://pub10.bravenet.com/minipoll/results.php?usernum=848015237&qid=34049&voted=0
Posted by: trog69 | August 26, 2009 8:44 AM
This is intelligent design meteorology.
Posted by: Steve Greene | August 26, 2009 11:38 AM
"Hey Piltdown man do you give your slaves Sundays off? And given the time of evening should you not be sleeping with at least one of your wives (pantaloom cleaned and ready of course) rather then walking in the Valley of Death?
----------
funny Pitdown. What you quoted tells me you believe in a powerful God...not a good one. If you want to be the slave of that diety that's fine. Knee before the one who brings disaster. Pledge to serve the one who would bring pain and suffering. Me I think that's something to fight.
If I can't quote the bible because I reject it..does that mean since you reject science you don't use technology? But how are you using the internet? I don't get it. the rejection thing only goes one way?
--------------------
Yes I let my slaves off on Sunday.
Yes I use technology. The internet has nothing to do with fake science(evolution).
Posted by: Piltdown Man | August 26, 2009 6:33 PM
Pelfdown Man:
You manly KKKristians must make all the girls swoon at fellowship.
Oh, btw, you're a racist p.o.s.
Posted by: democommie | August 26, 2009 10:13 PM
Conservative Mark "Talking to a homosexual is like talking to the wall."
I'm guessing "the gays" say the same about talking to you.
Piltdown man "It's kinda weird that Satanic forces abound everywhere - especially on the liberalism/marxism side."
…coming off of two terms of BushCo's faith-based governance, I'm surprised that you could say that with a straight face.
…
Anyway, clearly God's a Muslim.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | August 27, 2009 4:42 AM
Neither does quoting the bible have anything to do with fake dieties. No, wait- it has everything to do with that. You have the authority to forbid us from quoting your ancient ghost story but we don't have the authority to forbid your use of things that have only been developed through the application of Science? Which is it, Dude: delusions of grandeur or hypocrite?
Nothing to do with science? "Gee, Wally- do you think that we might learn about the Scientific Method again in Science Class today?" Discovered the same way. FYI Flash: many scientists from many different disciplines recognize Darwin's ideas as being the absolute epitome of applying the Scientific Method.
Just a little FYI: a lot of people here would probably think that your screen name was clever if they thought that you actually understood that the Piltdown Affair was not evidence of some problem with science. Rather, it's the opposite. See - and I'm typing slowly because you're obviously a slow reader - when someone creates a hoax and the scientists look in and say "I call BS!", that's science working exactly as it's supposed to. This well-known (to people who actually know a little about science) hoax basically shows that making claims that can be refuted by additional objective observations is exactly what justifies continuing to use the SM.
Look up 'irony' in the dictionary and I'm pretty sure that there'll be a picture of you next to it. Do yourself a favor and open up another book. Hell, I don't care, make it a Dr. Suess. That stuff is way closer to reality than where you stand now so it might help make the transition back to the Real World go a little more smoothly.
Science - It works, Bitches!
Posted by: Pi Guy | August 27, 2009 6:21 AM
Pillowdown Man:
Shorter, Pi Guy and other commenters.
Fuck you, Asshole.
Posted by: Ahnold--the Ex-Terminator | August 27, 2009 11:30 AM
It's nice to have these good Christians come to the thread to talk to us and convince us. I have to admit, they have convinced me, I no longer consider myself an agnostic.
I now consider myself a full fledged atheist.
Thank you oh wonderful Christians for showing the true love of your faith, you've opened my eyes.
Posted by: dogmeatib | August 27, 2009 12:00 PM
Rumpleforskin "You buzzard faced marxist stalinists should be stripped of your citizenship and shipped to a socialist country if you like it so much."
Yeah! Fuck cultural pluralism! (Also, screw posting replies on the correct thread!)
Posted by: Modusoperandi | August 28, 2009 2:45 AM
Rumpleforskin "You buzzard faced marxist stalinists should be stripped of your citizenship and shipped to a socialist country if you like it so much."
Yeah! Fuck cultural pluralism! (Also, screw posting replies on the correct thread!)
Posted by: Modusoperandi | August 28, 2009 2:45 AM
But I like quoting Star Wars! It's fun.
Does this mean The Simpson's are off the table too?
Fuck.
Posted by: Josh | August 28, 2009 6:52 AM
Rimlickerforeskin:
It's always satisfying to see folks like you shed their thin garment or rationality and reasonableness and prance naked while projecting their deepest and most forbidden sexual desires onto others.
Josh:
No, "The Simpsons" are okay, but not "Scooby Doo"--he's a frikkin' dog, fer cryin' out loud!
Posted by: democommie | August 28, 2009 7:40 AM
And one who was...likely...*gasp*...stoned.
Posted by: Josh | August 28, 2009 7:59 AM
Josh, apparently you haven't seen the Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law episode where he defends them. They aren't stoned. It turns out that they're just really stupid.
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/User:Modusoperandi
Posted by: Modusoperandi | August 28, 2009 8:31 AM
Wups. Ignore that redundant redundant link.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | August 28, 2009 8:54 AM
pilty, rumpy, et al, This is your Creator speaking to you directly from Heaven. Since you obviously have NOT been reading my book, I will tell you directly what I want you to do. No more giving your money to idiots like Haggard and Swaggert. Give it to Planned Parenthood, the Red Cross, , Naral, DNC, etc. Quit telling everyone you see that you know my plans and that you are the only ones who are right and all the rest will burn. Stop telling people I am infallible, I mean, look at Bush and Cheney. And, for My sake, loosen up a little. Have a drink occasionally and take Sundays off. I could use rest too.
Posted by: GOD,YAHWEY,ETC | August 29, 2009 10:52 PM
No! [stands up & strikes defiant posture] I AM GOD!!
Posted by: Sparticus' God | August 30, 2009 12:27 AM
[rumbling heard overhead. The clouds part and a beam of sunshine pours down. Soprano choir launches into rising tonics, ending on a nice sustained fourth. A rainbow appears]
DOST THOU NOT KNOW ME? I AM YOUR LORD
CHARLTON HESTON, oops I mean, GOD!!!Posted by: Chucky gettin' Lucky | August 30, 2009 12:37 AM