Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
Here's yet another case of a hospital ignoring the reality of a same-sex relationship in an end of life situation, even after being faxed the legal documents showing full control over medical decisions. The couple, Janice Langbehn and Lisa Pond, were getting ready to board a cruise in Miami with their adopted children when Lisa collapsed and was rushed to the hospital.
Janice then sat in the waiting room with their children, being refused any access to her partner and information on her condition for hours on end even after the hospital had the documents showing that she was designated as Lisa's healthcare surrogate to make medical decisions in such a situation. And a federal judge just dismissed her lawsuit against the hospital. You can see the ruling here.
The court ruled, essentially, that the hospital had no legal duty to do anything more than they did, even if the hospital's own clearly stated rules say otherwise. Here's the story from Janice of what happened that night:
On February 18, 2007, Lisa Pond, my partner of nearly 18 years and 3 of our 4 adopted children: Danielle, David and Katie were on board the Rfamily cruise preparing to set sail. Before leaving port, Lisa suddenly collapsed while watching the children play basketball. The kids were banging on the stateroom door saying, "Mommy was hurt!" I opened the door, and took one look at Lisa and knew the situation was very serious. As a medical social worker for many years, I have seen people in critical condition. I knew that my life partner was gravely ill. As the ship was about to leave, we had no choice but to seek medical help in an unfamiliar city. After local medics arrived, we hurried off the ship to the closest hospital in Miami, Ryder Trauma Center at Jackson Memorial Hospital.As Lisa was put into the ambulance I had no idea when she signed "I love you" to the kids and I it would be the last time I would see her beautiful blue eyes. We arrived at the trauma center minutes before her ambulance. I tried to follow her gurney into the trauma area and was stopped by the trauma team and told to go to the waiting room. The kids and I did as we were told.
We arrived shortly after 3:30 in the afternoon, around 4pm, a social worker came out and introduced himself as Garnet Frederick and said, "you are in an anti-gay city and state. And without a health care proxy you will not see Lisa nor know of her condition". He then turned to leave; I stopped him and asked for his fax number because I said "we had legal Durable Powers of Attorney" and would get him the documents. Within a short time of meeting this social worker, I contacted friends in Lacey, WA, our hometown, who went to our house and faxed the legal documents required for me to make medical decisions for Lisa.
I never imagined as I paced that tiny waiting room that I would not see Lisa's bright blue eyes again or hold her warm, loving hands. Feeling helpless as I continued to wait, I attempted to sneak back into the trauma bay but all the doors to the trauma area had key codes, preventing me from entering. Sitting alone with our luggage, our children and my thoughts, I watched numbly as other families were invited back into the trauma center to visit with loved ones. I was still waiting to hear what was happening with Lisa, realizing as the time passed that I was not being allowed to see her and if the social worker's words were any indication it was because we were gay. Anger, despair and disbelief wracked my brain as I tried to figure out a way to find out what was going on with Lisa. I finally thought to call our family doctor back in Olympia (on a Sunday afternoon at home) to see if she could find out what was happening. While on the phone with our doctor in Olympia, a surgeon appeared. The surgeon told me that Lisa, who was just 39 years old, had suffered massive bleeding in her brain from an aneurysm. A short while later, two more surgeons appeared and explained the massive bleed in Lisa's brain gave her little chance to survive and if she did it would be in a persistent vegetative state. Lisa had made me promise to her over and over in our 18 years together to never allow this to happen to her. I let the surgeons know Lisa wishes, which were also spelled out in her Living Wills and Advance Directive. I was then promised by the doctors that I would be brought to see Lisa as "soon as she was cleaned up". At that point all life saving measures ceased and I asked that she be prepared for organ donation.
Yet, the children and I continued to wait and wait. A Hospital Chaplain appeared and asked if I wanted to pray and I looked at her dumbfounded as if I hadn't already been doing that for over four hours. I immediately asked for a Catholic Priest to perform Lisa's Last rites. A short time later, A Catholic priest escorted me back to recite the Last Rites and it was my first time in nearly 5hrs of seeing Lisa. After seeing her I knew the children needed to see her immediately and be able to say their goodbyes and begin the grieving process. Yet the priest escorted me back out to the waiting room. Where I was faced with the young faces of our beautiful children to explain "other mommy" was going to heaven.
I continued to assert my self over the ensuing hours again that we needed to be with Lisa. I even showed the Admitting clerk the children's birth certificates with both Lisa and my name on them... and said if you won't let me back, let her children be with her. I was told they were "too young". I thought how old do you need to be to say goodbye to your mother?
In nearly eight hours, Lisa lay at Ryder Trauma Center moving toward brain death - completely alone and I continue to this day to feel like a failure for not being there to hold her hand to tell her how much we loved her, to comfort her and to sign in her hand "I love you". All my pleas fell on deaf ears.
Lisa's sister arrived driving straight from Jacksonville as soon as I knew Lisa would not survive. She announced who she was and I was at her side staring at the same person who had been denying me access all those hours. It was only then that I was told Lisa had been moved almost an hour earlier to ICU... and the hospital just kept the children and I waiting in the same waiting room, where Lisa was not even at.
If this had been a straight couple, none of this would have happened. Which is why gay marriage matters - again.
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Comments
So much christian love and compassion in that city, isn't it?
Posted by: diegopig | October 21, 2009 9:25 AM
Auug. What monsters.
Posted by: llewelly | October 21, 2009 9:35 AM
The assholes at this hospital were going WAAAY out of their way to bully and punish a gay couple. I've been with my girlfriend to hospitals many times, and while I had no legal authority to make decisions (not a problem since she was conscious and there was never any controversy over what had to be done), I was never prevented from staying with her.
The people at this hospital were acting out of pure malice, and didn't even have the decency or sense of shame to pretend otherwise. So was the judge.
Posted by: Raging Bee | October 21, 2009 9:54 AM
Unfortunately while legal marriage would likely have let Janice win the lawsuit these people were arseholes with Durable Powers of Attorney paperwork and I supsect would have been arseholes if she had shown them a marriage certificate.
Posted by: Matty | October 21, 2009 10:03 AM
The judge appears to have said, in a round about legalese way, 'Fuck you. Good luck on appeal."
Way to stand up for law and decency. A registry of doctors and hospitals acting in this vile and contemptible way should be kept and publicly touted so that diverse patients know where they are and are not welcome.
Posted by: MikeMa | October 21, 2009 10:09 AM
I don't know why anyone sympathetic to the SSM cause ever does anything in the F state. Yes, Palm Beach and Key West are gay-friendly. But the rest is so hideous and vile that it worth it to not send even $1 their way.
Posted by: kehrsam | October 21, 2009 10:22 AM
Yet another example of gay and lesbian couples, men and women getting the short end of the stick.
Posted by: Owen | October 21, 2009 10:25 AM
I have been denied medical information on a family member (my mother) despite having her medical power of attorney. The excuse given was that they can't release any medical information without signed HIPA release forms. Fortunately, my mom was able to sign those forms on the spot. Homophobia aside, the medical community really is in its own world legally.
Posted by: WScott | October 21, 2009 10:32 AM
I doubt there is any place we could go.
Posted by: Owen | October 21, 2009 10:33 AM
Thanks for posting about this, Ed.
Back in the mid-90s, when my partner of 14 years died due to AIDS complications, despite having wills prepared by AIDS Project Los Angeles' lawyers and all the allegedly protective paperwork required in California, his family demanded half of everything we owned and they got a fundie lawyer and took me to court.
Making sure this doesn't happen to other loving couples, who happen to be of the same gender, is why the fight for marriage equality is so important.
Posted by: Mike Tidmus | October 21, 2009 11:02 AM
This is why I feel the LGBT rights groups abandoned Florida last election. Florida's ammendment 2 was far more vile than prop 8! This kind of treatment was passed into law for all unmarrieds in Florida!
We have the same problem California has: liberal big cities with rural nut houses. Our problem is that the big city liberals are either total pussies or are beholden to socially conservative democrats.
Ugh, I'm moving outta this hell hole soon.
Posted by: Chris in Miami | October 21, 2009 11:24 AM
Owen - There are lots of places.
I'm straight. I live with a man. We've been together for a few years, but our marital status is presumably the same as a gay couple's in most places--i.e., none.
Last year, he had an accident and landed in an NYC hospital for a few days. I was allowed to come and visit freely, including past visiting hours, as family members are, and it was clear that the staff understood that I was his main family (although his sibs live in the city and also visited).
I got treated this way without having to fight for it because years before, homosexuals fought it for me.
In the 80s, when gay men were dying wholesale--and many of them forced to do it alone--they and other gay men (and women) got hospitals (well, not the really obtuse ones, like Jackson Memorial) to understand that the important people in patients' lives didn't necessarily have legally definable relationships. They weren't doing it for me, but I benefited.
Thanks, LGBTs.
(And while we're on this, thanks for getting organized in the 60s and 70s. If there wasn't a strong out homosexual community when HIV hit the West, we'd have had an infection pattern like Africa's. Y'all saved our collective asses. Straights--including the jackasses at Jackson Memorial--should be a damn site more grateful. I know I am.)
(And for a more heartening item about gay marriage, you might have a look at this.)
Posted by: Molly, NYC | October 21, 2009 11:24 AM
@Molly, NYC - Thanks for sharing that video. It made my day.
Posted by: Imrryr | October 21, 2009 11:47 AM
For anyone who is still confused about the motives of the "defending traditional marriage" crowd, let this post clear things up for you.
What happened to this woman and her partner is a Feature™ of the marriage bans, and not a Bug™. Punishing gay couples in ways like this is the entire fucking point of the movement.
And if you speak out or push back, they cry "persecution!!!" and simply christerbate even harder.
Vile, vile people.
Posted by: Rick R | October 21, 2009 11:49 AM
Rick R (@ 14) - You're probably right, which suggests another problem: This woman produced a nice assortment of legal papers (and legal children) and still got treated as she did. If one of the documents had been a marriage license from another state, it's not clear these assholes would have acted any differently.
(Damn. Even if you thought lesbianism was the worst thing in the world, how could you treat a dying woman and her bereaved children this way? If they'd been a hetero married couple who'd, say, been pimping the kids to support their meth-lab enterprises, they'd probably have got more consideration in the same circs.)
Posted by: Molly, NYC | October 21, 2009 12:49 PM
The hospital's behavior was awful, but I'm having a hard time seeing what the judge got wrong. Reading through the opinion, I don't think his understanding or use of the law was uncharitable or incorrect.
(Also, part of the problem appears to be a poorly drafted initial complaint; the opinion notes that the plaintiffs admitted at oral argument that their negligence claims had no merit against the doctors. Furthermore, simply saying that a plaintiff suffered "physical injury" without specifying what that injury is just won't cut it, especially post-Twombly. But the judge has allowed the plaintiffs to file an amended complaint that may solve these problems, so hopefully, they'll be able to make something of it the next time around.)
Posted by: Chuck | October 21, 2009 1:00 PM
How could a judge dismiss thier case? The legal reasoning there has to be specious, at best.
Ok, I'm going to go read the ruling now. It'll likely send my blood pressure through the roof.....
Posted by: FastLane | October 21, 2009 1:01 PM
This is why things like Ref 71 in Washington are so important. (It's a referendum on the "everything but Marriage Act", which passed the legislature, but some wackos out in the badlands of Oregon decided that god said no. Damn carptebaggers!) This one also applies to seniors who don't want to get married because they'll lose their Social Security, which really helps argue against the "special rights for teh gays".
Seriously people, what's it to you? Are you all that cold-hearted?
Posted by: JustaTech | October 21, 2009 1:20 PM
"but some wackos out in the badlands of Oregon decided that god said no."
It's not just backwoods wackos who fight against civil unions. The anti-gay marriage lobby is also against them. But saying so publicly doesn't fit with their disingenuous "we don't want marriage redefined" rhetoric.
In other words, they're liars.
Posted by: Rick R | October 21, 2009 1:45 PM
Not only does one need power of attorney, one also needs a will. Too many people who live together -- gay or straight -- fail to protect themselves and their loved ones by putting off getting their wishes into a formal legal document. I am so very sorry for what happened to this lady and her partner, but I assure all of you that not everyone in Florida is homophobic and uncaring.
Posted by: Deborah | October 21, 2009 2:06 PM
Great. Now I'm pissed.
(Not that I complain, I read this blog to hear what crap the watchdogs unearth.)
FWIW, I'm Norwegian, and just to let you know it's possible, this sort of shit would never happen here. Sooner or later, the crazy people will lose and common fucking decency will prevail. It just takes more time in some parts of the world than in others.
Posted by: Ketil Tveiten | October 21, 2009 2:18 PM
Holy non-existent god fucking shit!!
The decision basically boils down too
"the hospital doesn't technically have to provide information and updates to a loved one unless they are doing something like terminating life support, therefore, since they didn't break any laws, they aren't liable for any damages."
Fuck me, but I hope that judge winds up with a long, painful hospital stay in the near future and they don't let his family visit becuase 'they don't have to'.
Posted by: FastLane | October 21, 2009 3:17 PM
Just when you think the Right-wing Christards can't get any worse, things like this occur.
Evidently we can't have gay marriage because Baby Jesus will cry.
And BTW:
"Christerbate" @14:
Rick R wins.
Posted by: Velociraptor | October 21, 2009 3:30 PM
Molly, I appreciate your story. I saw the clip of the WWII vet when it first came out. It makes the whole point. There are quite a few places that are gay friendly, yet I think most states are like Florida. A few gay friendly cities surrounded by an unfriendly countryside.
Given some duffus recently refused to marry an interracial couple, it appears it will take a long time before most people come to their senses.
Posted by: Owen | October 21, 2009 4:46 PM
All the above dislike is mis-directed.
As Danahole said...the Xtians are responsible for all the hospitals. As you all know gays are an abomination onto the bearded fairy. So if they couple doesn't like it they should stop being gay.
I know that all sound stupid any way you read it. But it is true....SO WHERE ARE those loving moderate Xtians!!!!!
Why are they not coming down on the hospital????
What is needed is a way for someone like this lady to put a message out on the internet and have a few hundred like minded people people show up and make a fuss...Bet they pay attention then!! I now that if it happened at Portsmouth Hospital (I like to think it wont) then I would be there as soon as I heard.
Posted by: CybrgnX | October 21, 2009 8:24 PM
This isn't about the anti-gay city, it's about an anti-gay hospital and it's cold, heartless staff.
Hospital staff are supposed to offer a service. This service was sub-par, caused undue suffering and lead to legal action on human rights grounds. Being deliberately cruel is NOT part of their duty.
I would not pay for such service. And frankly I wouldnt trust the doctor's judgement on her final condition.
Posted by: Richard Eis | October 22, 2009 5:06 AM
Well im doing my English paper on gay marriage and I am for gay marriage! I believe that if you love someone then you should be aloud to marry that person! It may be a sin but heck havent we all did something that was wrong? Yes we have! I have tons of gay family members! i am not gay but I understand how you feel! And this above me I dont like how you as well as them kida was did! i would have spoke my mind! You should have the same rights as male and female marriages do! All I got to say is GAY MARRIAGE SHOULD BE LEGAL!!! Sometimes you cant change hpw a person is or wants to be! There will ALWAYS be gays, so why dont they pass a law for all of America Gays to be able to get married!!!((: When i read this it pissed me of because like they say or what they wanna say is "EVERYONE IS EQUAL"!! But me as a High School student I dont see EQUAL!! People are gonna get judged whether thet are gay,straight, what the look like, where they are from, and so on! God made us the way we are!! Dont judge people but the sex and race, and whether they are gay or straight! LET THEM BE WHO OR WHAT THEY WANNA BE aint nobody stoppin'men and woman getin' married so why should they not let gays get married!! I just dont understand)):
Posted by: cierra | October 22, 2009 11:38 AM
This is especially frustrating and heartbreaking for me, since this hospital is most likely where I will be doing my residency.
Bah.
Posted by: MomTFH | October 22, 2009 7:20 PM
Oh, and Miami is an anti-gay city? Home of the White Party and South Beach?
No, Jackson Memorial is full of homophobic bigots. Don't blame the city
Posted by: MomTFH | October 22, 2009 7:27 PM