Right Wing Rap: Just Stop. Please. : Dispatches from the Culture Wars

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Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of Michigan Citizens for Science and co-founder of The Panda's Thumb. He has written for such publications as The Bard, Skeptic and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, spoken in front of many organizations and conferences, and appeared on nationally syndicated radio shows and on C-SPAN. Ed is also a Fellow with the Center for Independent Media and the host of Declaring Independence, a one hour weekly political talk show on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan.(static)

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Right Wing Rap: Just Stop. Please.

Posted on: November 22, 2009 9:09 AM, by Ed Brayton

Yet another right wing rapper has shown up on the scene at the tea parties. His name is Hi Caliber and he sucks as bad as all the previous ones.

"Patriotic people throw your hands in the air, and wave them around like you just don't care."

Seriously, is that the best he can do? I imagine it is.

Just stop. Please.

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Comments

"I'm Wigga, go figure. Just a white boy who wants to be a nigga"
'Weird Al' Yankovic.

Posted by: DingoJack | November 22, 2009 9:37 AM

There should be criminal sanctions for anyone who rhymes "hands in the air" with any variant of "just don't care".

Posted by: DaveL | November 22, 2009 9:41 AM

I'm sorry Ed, but your text and that freeze frame would require at least 183 waterboard sessions to get me to hit "play".

"A man's got to know his limitations". Clint Eastwood playing Josey Wales in The Outlaw Josey Wales. I'm not sure if the line is from the book written by Forrest Carter.

Posted by: Michael Heath | November 22, 2009 9:53 AM

He could have rhymed it with "Obama-care". Total missed opportunity there, Mr. Caliber.

Posted by: jpf | November 22, 2009 10:28 AM

Micael Heath - "I learned to sing 'Battle Hymn' and 'Dixie' with equal enthusiasm" - The ferryman. Outlaw Josey Wales :) - DJ

Posted by: DingoJack | November 22, 2009 10:48 AM

One day our prayers will be answered and we'll be cured from this teabagger cancer...

For crying out loud with those lyrics this guy deserves to be a starving artist.

Posted by: Goldbrick4 | November 22, 2009 10:58 AM

"A man's got to know his limitations". Clint Eastwood playing Josey Wales in The Outlaw Josey Wales. I'm not sure if the line is from the book written by Forrest Carter.

Holy crap, I caught Michael Heath being wrong! That's actually from the Dirty Harry movie, Magnum Force.

I am somebody! I am somebody!

Posted by: Savagemutt | November 22, 2009 11:03 AM

Savagemutt:

I caught Michael Heath being wrong! That's actually from the Dirty Harry movie, Magnum Force.

I probably projected the good part of a series I detest in general on one of my favorite Eastwood flicks (Outlaw Jose Wales) in order to avoid confronting the fact that Eastwood also produced the Dirty Harry films. Quick, whose got an antidote for thinking like a conservative?

And please don't assign penance to me by asking that I watch all the Dirty Harry movies again.

Posted by: Michael Heath | November 22, 2009 11:28 AM

Say it loud, we're dumb and proud!
Angry 'cause we're angry,
mindless screaming in the crowd!

Shitheads who were born here, lived here all their lives, and never really GOT American ideals. Such as, for instance, honesty. Or independent thought. Or justice. Or democracy.

I blame the parents, really. (That's a joke.)

I wouldn't mind seeing the old sedition statutes dusted off for a year or so.

"He's got them on the list, He's got them on the list
And they'll none of them be missed, They'll none of them be missed." -- Monty Python

Posted by: Hank Fox | November 22, 2009 11:29 AM

"Patriotic people throw your hands in the air, and wave them around like you just don't care."

Not only is this probably plagiarized from 1993, but it's exhibit A in how utterly out of touch social conservatives are with pop culture. "Throw your hands in the air...just don't care" reads like the lyrics an over-fifty-year-old would imagine when conceptualizing the nebulous, ever-so-threatening "rap." Epic fail.

Posted by: Sadie Morrison | November 22, 2009 12:04 PM

Oh, crap. I just listened to a short section of that video, and man ...

As a guy who considers himself patriotic – in the true sense of the word, in that I not only care about the country but about the ideals on which it is based, ideals such as justice, honesty, democracy, and as someone who understands that the greatest dangers to those ideas today are certain people right here in the United States (we just had 8 years of them running the country), I’d just like to say:

Hi Caliber, you diarrhetic little weasel, and all the people who applaud your sentiments:

Fuck you. Fuck you with a diesel-powered, turbocharged Russian dildo. Fuck your stupid monotone hip-hop wannabe “music,” fuck your stupid hat, fuck your opportunistic parasitic gutless offensive low-IQ cheeseball “I’m a true American and you’re not” attitude.

Hey, Hi Caliber! Homie! I saw your interview on Russia Today! Cool, man! And that wad of money you were pocketing, even Russia Today mentioned it: “The conservative rapper manages to cash in where crowds of Americans protest government spending.”

Sweet gig, dude. You should be proud.

Posted by: Hank Fox | November 22, 2009 12:21 PM

Deary deary me. First Michael H can't tell one Clint Eastwood film from another, now Hank Fox can't recognise Gilbert and Sullivan. What is Dispatches coming to? - DJ

Posted by: DingoJAck | November 22, 2009 12:30 PM

"Patriotic people throw your hands in the air, and wave them around like you just don't care."

Wasn't this a Richard Simmons lyric from Sweatin' to the Oldies?"

Posted by: dogmeatib | November 22, 2009 12:44 PM

We need a counter-group. Where ever there's a teabagger with a sign, there should be a counter-teabagger with one saying "Where the hell was your outrage when Dubya was in charge?".

Posted by: Modusoperandi | November 22, 2009 12:59 PM

DingoJack ... Yeah, I actually realized the original was a Gilbert lyric, but the piece I linked to was a Monty Python send-up of that original.

I doubt Gilbert wrote about gynecologists, or "muggers, joggers, buggers, floggers, people who play golf."

Stuff it, snootboy. I can Google as well as the smart people.

Posted by: Hank Fox | November 22, 2009 1:12 PM

Maybe they should ask Soulja Boy?

Posted by: Hathor | November 22, 2009 1:39 PM

You have to love how he has a "shout out" to the astroturf organization Freedomworks and establishment pundits Glenn Beck and Monica Crowley at the end of the video. Great way to boost the street cred of a rap video.

Apropos of nothing, a taste of white rap from Dr. House:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdRfhARwGoI

Posted by: tacitus | November 22, 2009 2:01 PM

I thought they were teabagging because they do care.

Posted by: pough | November 22, 2009 4:33 PM

I suggest the next white-wing rapper use the name "Mars Capone."

Though I don't know why anyone's surprised; as far as I can tell gangsta rap was created by white, ring-wing record executives as a means of keeping young Americans, especially colored ones, thinking about "bitchez," ice, guns, and confusing "respect" with "fear" rather than about gainful employment, education, or political participation. It got away from them, and now they're trying - hamfistedly - to cash in on its success. >.>

Posted by: Azkyroth | November 22, 2009 5:00 PM

I would have more respect for the teabaggers if they used something like this, I mean, the lyrics really mesh well with their intellectual depth.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyHSjv9gxlE

Posted by: Galen Evans | November 22, 2009 5:04 PM

DingoJack, there is no Weird Al song with those lyrics. I believe that's a song mis-attributed to him as I doubt he'd ever use the either the term wigga or nigga.

Posted by: Rob H. | November 22, 2009 6:23 PM

I like how he complains about the "liberal media" bashing conservatives and then proceeds to call liberals "lunatics" and a "cancer."

Posted by: Joshua Zelinsky | November 22, 2009 8:20 PM

I think it's safe to say that white conservative rappers are the ultimate minority...as in a minority of one.

Posted by: CHV | November 22, 2009 9:47 PM

At long last, Mr. Caliber has done something I thought impossible. He has elevated the work of Milli Vanilli.

Posted by: democommie | November 22, 2009 10:33 PM

If that's a sample of a "right wing rap song", it's seriously stupid. . . .
Anne G

Posted by: Anne Gilbert | November 22, 2009 11:42 PM

Why is the same black guy in every teabagger youtube video that comes out? Seriously, a commenter on the youtube page pointed out that they claim a million plus in attendance but they have to show the same guy multiple times in every video.

Posted by: mgordon | November 23, 2009 1:22 AM

Rob H - I sit corrected. You're quite right, I was completely wrong about that, apoplogiies!

Posted by: DingoJack | November 23, 2009 2:31 AM

Or 'apologies' even :) - DJ

Posted by: DingoJack | November 23, 2009 2:36 AM