Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
Garrison Keillor has an op-ed piece in the Chicago Tribune that is really weird. It's like Andy Rooney took over his body and then drank heavily before churning out a cranky, ignorant screed that really has to be read to be believed. It's like he decided to celebrate Christmas by firing blindly at random people he holds a grudge against - a group that ranges from anonymous Jewish songwriters who wrote unnamed songs that have offended him, to intellectuals, to non-Christians who celebrate Christmas. He starts, for some reason, with Ralph Waldo Emerson:
You can blame Ralph Waldo Emerson for the brazen foolishness of the elite. He preached here at the First Church of Cambridge, a Unitarian outfit (where I discovered that "Silent Night" has been cleverly rewritten to make it more about silence and night and not so much about God), and Emerson tossed off little bon mots that have been leading people astray ever since. "To be great is to be misunderstood," for example. This tiny gem of self-pity has given license to a million arrogant and unlovable people to imagine that their unpopularity somehow was proof of their greatness.And all his hoo-ha about listening to the voice within and don't follow the path, make your own path and leave a trail and so forth, encouraged people who might've been excellent janitors to become bold and innovative economists who run a wealthy university into the ditch.
I read this and just thought, "What the fuck?" Totally random, undefined hostility - which seems to be motivated by a real beef with Unitarians and unnamed Jews:
Unitarians listen to the Inner Voice and so they have no creed that they all stand up and recite in unison, and that's their perfect right, but it is wrong, wrong, wrong to rewrite "Silent Night." If you don't believe Jesus was God, OK, go write your own damn "Silent Night" and leave ours alone. This is spiritual piracy and cultural elitism and we Christians have stood for it long enough. And all those lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys that trash up the malls every year, Rudolph and the chestnuts and the rest of that dreck. Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.
Lousy holiday songs by Jewish guys? What songs, exactly? He doesn't mention who those songwriters are or what songs he's referring to. This just gets weirder and weirder.
Christmas is a Christian holiday -- if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke, but don't mess with the Messiah.
There's a central irony to this rant, an irony he seems blissfully ignorant of. Does he not know that virtually every element of Christmas was, in fact, borrowed from earlier pagan festivals celebrated in Rome and other places where Christianity spread? Keillor in the mid-third century: "Dies Natalis Solis Invicti is a Mithraic holiday -- if you're not in the club, then buzz off."
The yule log came from pagan rituals in Scandinavia. The Christmas tree and the tradition of giving gifts from the Roman Saturnalia festival. In the early Roman empire it was called Brumalia and it was a festival dedicated to Bacchus (and in earlier Greek times to Dionysus, of course). And that's fine with me. I like Bacchus. If you have to have a god, you might as well pick the one that commands you to pair a robust red wine with a good cut of steak.
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"Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "White Christmas," "Let It Snow," all written by Jews. There are more, I'm sure, that's just off the top of my head.
Anyway, I'm gonna go step on Garrison Keillor's lawn now, just to piss him off.
Posted by: Jeff | December 23, 2009 9:35 AM
Wow, that is quite the accomplishment. Quite. I mean, I was that drunk just this Thanksgiving. The only thing I managed to do was insult my friends and vomit all over myself in front of them... errh wait a second...
Posted by: MTiffany | December 23, 2009 9:41 AM
Parody or Poe?
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | December 23, 2009 9:44 AM
Why is it that every Christmas I hear tons of complaints from Christians about non-existent things that they're offended by, but I've never heard a non-Christian get offended by Christmas things? I recently moved to a slightly more conservative area, and the people at my work make me dread hearing any mention of Christmas, because I'll have to listen to them complain that some vague entity is trying to take it all away from them. These extremists have actually made me dislike Christmas, which I used to always love. Now I just want it to be over so I don't have to listen to the persecution complexes and self-righteous rants.
Posted by: catgirl | December 23, 2009 9:50 AM
How disappointing! I had no idea that Garrison Keillor was a "Christ Rules" kind of Christian, or a Christian to begin with. From what I've heard on Lake Woebegone he seemed not especially religious. But then I only listened for the humor and good ol' country music.
Let me guess what Keillor will say next: that Thomas Jefferson reenacted the Stations of the Cross on the White House lawn every Easter? Or that Benjamin Franklin's lightning rod was actually a giant cross nailed to the top of the U.S. Capitol?
What's a few scrambled facts to Christian historians?
Posted by: Rodney | December 23, 2009 9:56 AM
A Christian accusing Jews of spiritual piracy is pretty rich, considering Christianity is Judaism + Zombie who changed all the rules of Judaism.
Posted by: pough | December 23, 2009 9:58 AM
I recall reading a similar comment during last year's 'War on Christmas' media frenzy, something to the effect that Irving Berlin performed some kind of a disservice to Christians by writing 'White Christmas' & 'Easter Parade'.
This seems to be a spreading meme--the notion that non-Christians should not be allowed to partake of seasonal good vibes, if any. Well, if Leonard Bernstein can write a mass, I should be allowed to sing Christmas carols.
Posted by: conelrad | December 23, 2009 9:58 AM
One of the common Christmas songs -- "It Came Upon a Midnight Clear", IIRC, was written by a Unitarian.
I know on one crazy Vatican-II-rejecting Catholic forum I used to follow, the anti-Semitic forum admin once claimed that Jews wrote popular Christmas songs without mentions of Jesus in them in order to secularize the holiday and move the focus of Christmas away from Christ.
Makes me wonder....what has Garrison Keillor been reading?
Posted by: Adrienne | December 23, 2009 9:59 AM
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?! This sounds like an angry drunk, or a senile angry drunk, possibly one who beat up his editor before submitting this crap unfiltered. Either that, or someone in the "War on Christmas" crowd got to him. Although I can't imagine even a reasonably smart and decent guy like Keillor succumbing to such hateful drivel.
Seriously, either Keillor is WAAAY out of sorts, or someone else managed to slip a hateful screed out over his name.
PS: The songs Jeff listed are among the Christmas songs I hate most, Jew-written or not, because they're totally empty of any meaning, and sing of nothing but the trappings of Christmas, rather than its actual meaning, Christian, Pagan or otherwise. Even that sappy number about an angel hovering over a sleeping soldier on Christmas night is more meaningful than the dreck we hear at the malls.
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 10:00 AM
This seems to be a spreading meme--the notion that non-Christians should not be allowed to partake of seasonal good vibes, if any.
I don't believe the thinking is that Jews(and other non-Xtians) shouldn't be able to partake, it's that Jews like Irving Berlin were co-opting a Christian celebration of Christ's birth and turning it into a secular popular culture celebration of Santa and giving presents.
Because, of course, Jews hate any mention of Christ or Christianity in public and so try to erase Christ from the public imagination. Or something like that.
No, I don't believe any of it, I'm just trying to explain the crazy anti-Semitic thinking behind it.
Posted by: Adrienne | December 23, 2009 10:02 AM
Christmas is a Christian holiday -- if you're not in the club, then buzz off. Celebrate Yule instead or dance around in druid robes for the solstice. Go light a big log, go wassailing and falalaing until you fall down, eat figgy pudding until you puke ...
Ummm ... that's what those songs he hates and the assorted traditions he doesn't like are! People who aren't especially religious celebrating mid-winter, the solstice, and yes, even secular "christmas" without all the religious trappings he would prefer to reserve for the devout.
So what is his problem, exactly? He tells us to buzz off, and then gets mad when we sing about roasting chestnuts "and all that dreck." We ARE leaving you alone, you ignorant creep! We are building snowmen, wassailing, making yule logs, watching Rudolph's nose-so-bright ... etc.
Go worship however you want, and how about leaving ME alone to do whatever I want?
Eff you, Keillor!
(And Happy Holidays to you, Ed!)
Posted by: threetorches | December 23, 2009 10:09 AM
And of course, any time a couple of Jews do something Christians don't like, it's evidence of a "vast Jewish Conspiracy to Destroy Christianity and EAT CHRISTIAN BAYBEEEZZZ" or something like that. We're a hive. We all think with one mind.
Posted by: Jeff | December 23, 2009 10:11 AM
Why is it that every Christmas I hear tons of complaints from Christians about non-existent things that they're offended by, but I've never heard a non-Christian get offended by Christmas things?
Three reasons: 1) the overwhelming majority of us Pagans/Druids/witches/Wiccans/whatever have Christian friends and relatives, and we celebrate Christmas with them; 2) we all understand that "Christmas" is the common name given to this holiday-season overall and its thoroughly secular observances; and 3) unlike some Christians we know, we actually took the best spirit of the Christian holiday (peace on Earth, reconciliation, new hope shining in the Longest Night, taking time off from our base worldly struggles, yadafrickinyada) and imported it to our holiday(s), which means, among other things, enjoying each other's company on the holidays and not picking stupid fights over what to call the holidays. I mean, who cares what the holiday is called when the country's in a shambles, you can't afford to buy all the gifts you want to get, and traffic around every big mall is worse than Manhattan in "The Day After Tomorrow?"
Seriously, I've met plenty of people who celebrate "Christmas" in vastly different ways, and some who don't celebrate it at all; but I've never met anyone, of any persuasion, bitching about people calling it "Christmas," let alone taking any concerted action to erase that word from our vocabulary. Yes, Virginia, the "War on Christmas" is totally made up.
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 10:16 AM
If this is Poe than it is the best I have read this season, especially this line,
Did one of our guys write "Grab your loafers, come along if you wanna, and we'll blow that shofar for Rosh Hashanah"? No, we didn't.
If not Poe, forget it. I liked what I saw of Keillor in PHC the movie. Maybe I don't know the guy well enough!
Posted by: impal | December 23, 2009 10:17 AM
Adrienne@8:
You are correct. The lyrics of "Midnight Clear" were written by a Unitarian Minister.
Also by Unitarians: Jingle Bells, Auld Lang Syne and the words to I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day (with music by Johnny Marks, who was Jewish).
Charles Dickens, author of A Christmas Carol, was a Unitarian as well.
So, if Mr. Keillor would avoid all of the above, we'll all be happy.
BTW, Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas and a Cool Yule to you all.
Posted by: T. Bruce McNeely | December 23, 2009 10:24 AM
Garrison: Unless I come into your church and demand you sing my song selections how does it affect you when others celebrate the season differently? The last weeks of December have been celebrated in thousands of ways for thousands of years in continuously changing ways. Drop some Prozac in your egg nog, relax, and enjoy your holiday with your family in any way you wish. Please allow me to do the same. Merry Christmas.
Posted by: Brent | December 23, 2009 10:24 AM
Posted by: WScott | December 23, 2009 10:25 AM
Why shouldn't Jews write Christmas carols? As I understand it, most of the folks at the First Christmas were Jewish--Jesus, Mary, Joseph...
For that matter, no Christians showed up for the first thirty or so Christmases. Bunch of Johnnys-come-lately trying to take over, that's what they are.
Posted by: Amiable Dorsai | December 23, 2009 10:27 AM
WScott @17: Unless of course what you're really mad about is the fact that not everyone shares your beliefs...
Ding ding!
Posted by: Jeff | December 23, 2009 10:28 AM
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | December 23, 2009 10:39 AM
I can actually empathize with him: I feel the exact same way as him when he "sings" on the radio. I want to know who told him he could sing, and then I want to know who allowed him to. I've got some flaming bags of dog shit for their front doorsteps.
All kidding aside, he WAS a Lutheran so this type of screed is to be expected.
Posted by: rpsms | December 23, 2009 10:44 AM
On the off-chance that this is a parody, it's terrible. In any event, I've really never cared for Garrison Keillor. I'm not particularly surprised that he would sink this low.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | December 23, 2009 10:46 AM
And yet another entertainer whose work I've always enjoyed manages to piss me off. Terrific.
Posted by: Captain Mike | December 23, 2009 10:50 AM
Keillor is a demonstrated bigot, I'm not surprised to see him auditioning for Andy Rooney's spot.
Posted by: Tlazolteotl | December 23, 2009 10:56 AM
It's the internal logic that confuses me -- some pagan practices that have been adapted to a Christian holiday are rejected (Yule log, caroling) while others (gingerbread cookies, holly and ivy) are embraced. Then his two most meaningful Christmases have nothing to do with the birth of Christ (daugter's birth and rainy week in Norway). And the text of "Silent Night"? The original German words are something like this:
Silent night, holy night, everything is asleep, only the very holy married couple is awake. The holy child with curly hair is sleeping in heavenly peace.
It's a little late in the game to be concerned with the accuracy of the English text.
Apparently the things he likes are Xmas are consitutue the uniquely correct way to celebrate. Or could it be parody?
Oh, and "It Came Upon the Midnight Clear," "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," "Chestnuts Roasting," "Oh, Holy Night," etc.
Posted by: RobNYNY1957 | December 23, 2009 11:00 AM
What's really funny is that Unitarians usually love (and repeat endlessly) his Unitarian jokes. But this latest does sound like he's having a senior moment. And he's pissed off at Unitarians? Unitarians are .3% of the US population! All of us could stand on his lawn at the same time! (Maybe we should!)
Posted by: Susan Brassfield Cogan | December 23, 2009 11:07 AM
I'm honestly perplexed at this. If the article was written by Keillor, then why is the name "Albom, Mitch - Tuesdays with Mitch" above it, in the place where the author's name should be?
True, someone commented that he'd written Keillor, and then pasted a response, allegedly from Keillor, but what do es this Mitch Albom guy have to do with it? Is that a pseudonym?
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 11:21 AM
Keep the Son out of Solstice!!!!
Posted by: Missing Normalcy | December 23, 2009 11:25 AM
Does the word parody mean anything to anyone here? I am not a big fan of Garrison (consider him an arrogant ass personally) but this type of parody is something that Garrison has done before.
Posted by: yoshi | December 23, 2009 11:28 AM
He's had a stroke recently so perhaps that explains a little of this. Sadly, based on what I've read about him, it isn't surprising that he would hold such views. Still, what were the editors of the Chicago Tribune thinking by publishing such a blatantly racist and bigoted diatribe?
Posted by: momkat | December 23, 2009 11:29 AM
Mitch Albom is the highly successful author of Tuesdays With Morrie, The Five People You Meet In Heaven, and other books. He's also been a radio personality, and he's occasionally written some op-eds for various national papers. I've admittedly never read any of his books, and while the few of his op-eds that I've read have been of a somewhat conservative slant, I have a hard time imagining what role Albom played in the clusterfuck that is Keillor's piece.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | December 23, 2009 11:34 AM
And Mitch Albom is Jewish. That would take the weirdness up a notch.
Posted by: RobNYNY1957 | December 23, 2009 11:37 AM
@Herod
I heard Orrin Hatch's Hanukkah song.
I've decided to leave Judaism. Where do I hand in my kippah?
-j
Posted by: joshua | December 23, 2009 11:39 AM
I think the "Jewish guy" is Adam Sandler. I could be wrong of course.
Posted by: Nigel Patel | December 23, 2009 11:42 AM
Geez, where'd they dig up this grinch?
Please tell me this is some shtick where he's pretending to be an obnoxious character.
Posted by: namowal | December 23, 2009 11:46 AM
Ok. Once again let's repeat this: There's no evidence of any Mithraic holiday on Dec 25 prior to the third century. However, there is evidence that there was a holiday on that day for Sol Invictus. I don't know where all this obsession with Mithraism comes from but it isn't very accurate nor is it called for given that Mithraism was by and large a religion that showed up in large numbers slightly after Christianity. Just focus on Sol Invictus and Saturnalia. No need to think about Mithra.
Posted by: Joshua Zelinsky | December 23, 2009 11:51 AM
I get a feeling this would have been a LOT funnier, and more obviously a joke, if we had heard it read on radio instead of reading it on "paper."
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 11:53 AM
Why does Garrison Keillor have so much trouble minding his own damned business? I guess it's basically because he is a religion bigot. A real down-home kind of guy.
Posted by: Mark P | December 23, 2009 11:58 AM
Also, when Keillor refers to Jews making Christmas songs is he possibly talking about Irving Berlin? Berlin was Jewish and wrote White Christmas. But that was in 1942.
Posted by: Joshua Zelinsky | December 23, 2009 12:01 PM
Just to clarify my previous post, I mean at his fundamental roots, he is a religious bigot. He has shown glimpses of it for years, but this latest episode is more than a glimpse, it's a full-out debutante ball.
Posted by: Mark P | December 23, 2009 12:02 PM
Garrison Keillor is a shallow, self important douche bag. I'm surprised it takes something like this for more people to notice.
Posted by: Greg | December 23, 2009 12:02 PM
I'm thinking it's a parody too. His ribbing of Unitarians is usually pretty gentle and sometimes genuinely funny. It's certainly never seemed hostile. I am not a fan of the guy (that effing rhubarb song makes me want to strangle kittens), but I would not expect something like this from him.
Posted by: Leni | December 23, 2009 12:03 PM
Yoshi @29: you know, you might be on to something. Ebert tried this some time ago with creationism and a ton of people fell for it. But the rest of the piece seems like it's too much in earnest for that bit to be a parody. Could be hyperbole, though, or tongue-in-cheek ranting.
Posted by: Jeff | December 23, 2009 12:12 PM
It may be parody, but if so it's not very funny. Expressing anti-semitism as part of a parody is dangerous ground and needs to be done ever so carefully. If this was parody, it was reckless and sloppy.
Posted by: James Sweet | December 23, 2009 12:33 PM
I'm just going to go with lame. That applies regardless of whether it's parody or sincere.
Posted by: Abby Normal | December 23, 2009 12:33 PM
I think Mitch wrote this. I do not think Garrison lives in NYC nor did he have a daughter in 97.
Posted by: TT | December 23, 2009 12:34 PM
Catgirl@4:
I feel the same way. One of my Facebook friends posted a status update to the effect of, "They want to take Christ out of Christmas! If you're a real Christian, post this as your status..blah blah blah."
I wanted to respond with, "Who are "they" and what are they doing to prevent you from having Christmas any way you want to?" Ultimately I elected to just ignore.
Posted by: Jason | December 23, 2009 12:35 PM
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | December 23, 2009 12:35 PM
Mitch Albom was also a very good sportswriter for the Detroit Free Press. I tried reading his "books" - couldn't make it through.
Is there a god, or at least a good fairy, for whiskey lovers to worship?
Posted by: dean | December 23, 2009 12:36 PM
This is true. Just look at Luke Chapter 1, which has Jewish women writing Christmas carols (Ave Maria, the Magnificat) without approval from anybody.
More to the point, didn't Keillor do this a couple years ago with a piece about gay men and their silly little dogs? It's a Poe.
Posted by: kehrsam | December 23, 2009 12:43 PM
Count me as one of those who thinks something's amiss with the byline. In the whole, teleporting-stream-of-consciousness piece, the second paragraph is the only that sounds much like Keillor. I'll be awfully disappointed if it turns out he actually wrote this, and even sadder if he meant it.
Posted by: Scott Hanley | December 23, 2009 12:53 PM
Dean @49
Actually Saint Nicholas is exactly who you're looking for. In addition to being the patron saint of children he was also patron saint to unwed maidens, pawnbrokers, sailors, prostitutes and yes, distillers.
Source: Whiskey Magazine, Issue 60, Oct. 2006
Posted by: Abby Normal | December 23, 2009 12:55 PM
Lunker almost made Keillor happy in this past Sunday's Retail cartoon.
Posted by: william e emba | December 23, 2009 1:01 PM
Incidentally, given what I’ve learned about ol St. Nick I suggest everyone celebrate Christmas this year by pawning all the useless crap they get and using it to buy sailors drinks and lap dances at the local strip cub.
Did I mention I’ve recently been at sea?
Posted by: Abby Normal | December 23, 2009 1:02 PM
It didn't work then either, at least in my opinion. I suspect the only reason he got away with it was because it's still ok to insult gay men. I doubt he'll be so lucky this time.
Posted by: Owen | December 23, 2009 1:06 PM
In defense of a secular Christmas.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/topic/bal-keillorletter1223c,0,5101454.story
Posted by: Owen | December 23, 2009 1:14 PM
I found the piece quite funny, and it is not all to be taken seriously, and it is more agile than the responses to it by Ed and PZ. But I liked their responses too, great talk.
For those of you who would like to understand the K piece, there is at least a triple twist in it in multiple places. Take the Jewish Christmas carols for instance. The connections go something like this : those songs are for a season that makes profit, that empties the shelves of the merchants in the malls, and those merchants may be Jewish or their stocks may, and therefore it is fair to call them Jewish Christmas carols, such as Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The whole piece is very funny with many instances like this. IMHO Some would have to lighten up to catch on, and some can't find it funny because it is lampooning them, they can't go there.
For those of you stuck on serious for a while, there is mental profit in examining the origins of Christmas spirit as we know it, first in Washington Irving, and then in Charles Dickens in the 1840's with his Christmas Books, including the Christmas Carol. Dickens sought to elevate we humans.
Posted by: david | December 23, 2009 1:31 PM
To the Rudolph Haters:
About 25 years ago, I spent a couple of years taking care of my two nieces about 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. We sang Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer together almost every day. It is, to this day, my favorite Christmas song. Maybe you didn't notice, but it's the story of a young misfit making good -- a story that a lot of young children need to hear, in some form.
Posted by: xebecs | December 23, 2009 1:34 PM
"Actually Saint Nicholas is exactly who you're looking for. In addition to being the patron saint of children he was also patron saint to unwed maidens, pawnbrokers, sailors, prostitutes and yes, distillers."
Thanks Abby. Now I have a Christmas update ready for facebook.
Posted by: Captain Mike | December 23, 2009 1:38 PM
David,
Are you seriously defending this piece on the grounds that it's about Christmas as a profit-making enterprise, and that some (few) of the people making a profit are Jewish, so it's okay to associate the songs with Jews?
You point out that the piece drags out old, nasty stereotypes with almost no basis in fact--or has Sam Walton converted to Judaism, and stopped using Chinese suppliers?--and this is your defense of Keillor's writing?
Posted by: Vicki | December 23, 2009 1:44 PM
I've never heard a non-Christian get offended by Christmas things?
You've led a sheltered life.
In defense of Keillor, I read this piece as having been written distinctly tongue-in-cheek.
Posted by: Shay | December 23, 2009 1:47 PM
For those of you stuck on serious for a while, there is mental profit in examining the origins of Christmas spirit as we know it, first in Washington Irving, and then in Charles Dickens in the 1840's with his Christmas Books, including the Christmas Carol. Dickens sought to elevate we humans.
News flash: "the origins of Christmas spirit as we know it" don't start with Washington Irving. You're off on that point by at least 2000 years. For you, there is mental profit in reading the last paragraph of the original post, plus comment #36, to get a really good idea of "the origins of Christmas spirit as we know it." Happy Christmasaturneidkwanzannakayulestice to all, and to all a good night.
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 2:04 PM
Is "atheismisdead" a 'bot, or a real person with nothing better to do than re-paste the same empty nonsense all over scienceblogs over and over again over a period of months if not more? Of those two options, I'm still trying to figure out which is the more pathetic. At least momma's-boy Pat has different nonsensical things to say every day.
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 23, 2009 2:08 PM
I've always thought slaughter was a nice sentiment for the holidays.
In other news, Raging Bee, all your base are belong to atheismisdead.
Posted by: Leni | December 23, 2009 2:21 PM
If you don't believe Valentine was a saint, quit celebrating Valentines day. If you're not a pinko, quit taking labor day off. And if you don't believe in witches, goblins and ghosts...
Posted by: Dr X | December 23, 2009 2:24 PM
Keillor has put his foot in his mouth before (that is, bad examples of 'parody' that he has had to walk back), why I called him a demonstrated bigot; see
http://slog.thestranger.com/2007/03/garrison_keillors_apology
Posted by: Tlazolteotl | December 23, 2009 2:36 PM
Ranting bee:
"As we know it." Read carefully.
Posted by: david | December 23, 2009 2:45 PM
@Vicki,
Thanks for the name. Don't want to leave you w.o. a response, Vicki. There's a you-lot out there who take themselves much too seriously. Keillor has punched them up pretty good. You can decide for yourself if you are in it.
Seems we've struck a nerve here. Must be something to it.
I would remind all that there are many persons who can take either side of any question, and they enjoy doing so to see what comes of it, and they make great dinner guests, and lawyers, and writers, and parodists. They don't make good fundamentalists. They don't comment much to Ed, but he is doing a good job and deserves it, and we might change that a little.
Posted by: david | December 23, 2009 2:57 PM
@ Tlazolteotl
I had forgotten all about that. Still, I don't think Dan Savage got the point. Parody is mockery. You say awful things to mock the people who would actually say them, not because you believe the awful things yourself. He sort of went on criticizing Keillor without acknowledging that fact.
Granted, I could be misunderstanding Keillor, but at this point I think this is just parody and not his personal opinion.
Posted by: Leni | December 23, 2009 3:22 PM
Mentioning "Jewish guys" and "chestnuts" in the same sentence has got to be a reference to Mel Torme and The Christmas Song, so that's one, anyway.
Posted by: Michael Hoaglin | December 23, 2009 3:43 PM
Some possibilities for this op-ed piece;
Garrison Keillor is becoming senile and is reverting back to his 'Brethren' (not Luthurian) roots
or
He is angling for a date with Ann Coulter
or
Its' a Poe
My moneys on the last.
Posted by: red nosed but not a reindeer | December 23, 2009 3:48 PM
Tlazolteotl @66, I remember that bit. Either Keillor writes really crappy parody or a whole lot of people cannot recognize parody when they see it.
I think Keillor is just a really crappy writer.
Posted by: Owen | December 23, 2009 3:52 PM
Re: TT
Garrison and his 3rd wife, violinist Jenny Lind Nilsson, maintain residences in NYC and in St. Paul, MN. Their daughter, Maia, was born in Dec 1997.
Posted by: Dan J | December 23, 2009 3:57 PM
Wonder what Garrison would make of this: Sweden celebrates Christmas by watching Donald Duck cartoons.
Posted by: jpf | December 23, 2009 4:19 PM
W-W-What!?!?? New York City?? I thought Garrison Keillor lived at the bottom of Lake Wobegon?
Posted by: llewelly | December 23, 2009 4:47 PM
Aw, c'mon, Ed! Garrison Keillor is a humorist, and a darn good one, if you ask me! And yes, I agree with him that there's an awful lot of "Christmas dreck" around, especially certain rather ghastly "Christmas songs"(I'll leave them unnamed, but I heard one particularly horrible example last week). Keillor is just exaggerating a bit to make his point. I don't think he dislikes Christmas, and I don't think he really feels that others from other traditions, shouldn't share the joy, if that is what they wish to do.
Anne G
Posted by: Anne Gilbert | December 23, 2009 4:50 PM
To those who think the piece was a parody: so if I go around telling Amos & Andy jokes, and my black co-workers get offended, I can just tell them "It's parody" and that magically makes it all better?
Yes, I'm sure Keillor intended it to be funny & satirical. And yes, I have no doubt he will eventually issue a weak-ass "Some of my best friends are Unitarians...I'm sorry you took offense" pseudo-apology, just as he did over his last bigoted piece of bullshit. But none of that makes it any less offensive. Or less un-funny.
Posted by: WScott | December 23, 2009 4:59 PM
Yeah, if this is parody, it's not funny. POE FAIL.
Posted by: Adrienne | December 23, 2009 5:40 PM
We need to take Christmas back from the Christians, who took it from us in the first place. All the best parts of Christmas are pagan: Tree, lights, gifts, yule log, wassail.
Posted by: cdrealist | December 23, 2009 6:24 PM
@ WScott
Who are Amos and Andy? Perhaps you should tell me one of the jokes so I can better assess your comment.
Anyway, the obnoxious behavior you are describing is not really what Keillor did, assuming it is a parody. I think this guy has it about right.
Posted by: Leni | December 23, 2009 7:38 PM
cdrealist,
Please, take it back. You're more than welcome to it.
Posted by: heddle | December 23, 2009 8:04 PM
Who cares? Holidays eat.
Posted by: chelonian | December 23, 2009 9:00 PM
encouraged people who might've been excellent janitors to become bold and innovative economists who run a wealthy university into the ditch.
Larry Summers.
Posted by: Uncle Glenny | December 23, 2009 9:48 PM
you have to be from Minnesota and know a bit more about Keillor to understand whats going on here.he writes some clever stuff but his personal life is garbage.his shy guy act is just a way of putting people off that dare try and talk to him without his permission,he is a real "nose in the air" guy".his dumping of the woman who brought him along to fame just as he was making a name on the PHC is tragic.think of him as the ugly nobody kid who who a prize in school and thought that gave him a free pass to shoot off his mouth because he was now the teachers pet..
Posted by: Dave | December 23, 2009 11:15 PM
Garrison Keillor, some of us would like a little more silence. Thank you. Good NIGHT. (That was an expletive.)
Posted by: Kristine | December 24, 2009 12:34 AM
"Does he not know that virtually every element of Christmas was, in fact, borrowed...?"
I'm thinking the answer is Yes, he does not know that.
Posted by: Michael Drake | December 24, 2009 8:41 AM
And there was me, reading Keillor's mock-rant and rocking with laughter, thinking what fun he was having playing the professional grump.
Did it not cross anyone else's mind that this might be a humorous piece?
Posted by: John Grant | December 24, 2009 8:47 AM
@84 Dave: You got it right. Having spent my career in public radio, Keillor's disagreeable nature was common knowledge.
In any case, I've never understood Keillor's appeal. The occasional comparison of Keillor being a modern-day Mark Twain makes me cringe. His alleged folk wisdom has always struck me as a mile wide and a foot deep and latest screed only confirms that impression.
To be fair, Keillor's creation, A Prairie Home Companion, has generated significant listener financial support for public radio stations.
Posted by: Hal in Howell | December 24, 2009 9:19 AM
Re Heddle
Shorter Prof. Heddle: Christmas, bah humbug.
Posted by: SLC | December 24, 2009 9:21 AM
pough: From the standpoint of practices, Christianity is much less Judaism+zombie and much more native European/Mediterranean paganism+Zombie. Easter, with the same name even, was a Roman holiday celebrating a fertility goddess. Mr. Brayton has already pointed out the Mithraic and Dionysian elements of "Christmas", and the Nordic elements included with these in Yule celebrations. Even the Christians attack Halloween as too pagan these days. 90% of Catholic "saints" are actually old regional gods and spirits, given "Christian" names; no one even bothered to change their festival days.
Posted by: Julian | December 24, 2009 9:30 AM
John Grant: If you head over to Pharyngula, you'll see that the religious opinions expressed in this piece are not new for Mr. Keilor (and thus, not satire), but have been frequently expressed (and with greater virulence) by him before, in all seriousness, in other venues.
Posted by: Julian | December 24, 2009 9:33 AM
In the late 90s I attended a live broadcast during which Mr. Keillor could barely speak three words between breaths, and I was quite worried about him. The above harangue seems to indicate an even more basic malfunction.
Posted by: Susan | December 24, 2009 10:06 AM
Posted by: WScott | December 24, 2009 11:27 AM
LOL. Easter is a Germanic name.
He was wrong and so are you.
Posted by: Milesius | December 24, 2009 11:52 AM
shorter Garrison Keillor:
Posted by: Brain Hertz | December 24, 2009 12:35 PM
Apparently it did, since most of this thread has been occupied with discussions around that very question. However, the consensus seems to be that it isn't funny, which sort of rules out the "humor" explanation.
Posted by: Brain Hertz | December 24, 2009 12:38 PM
Garrison Keillor is the Thomas Kinkade of the dramatic world, and appeals to virtually the same demographic.
Posted by: H.H. | December 24, 2009 1:00 PM
I didn't know Garrison Keillor was from Bachman's district.
Posted by: jws | December 24, 2009 4:52 PM
Easter is a Germanic name.
Doesn't the goddess Ishtar figure in there as well?
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 25, 2009 9:19 AM
Silly Jeff Eyges, don't you know that everything good was invented by the Christianists? (heavy sarcasm here)
Posted by: jws | December 25, 2009 9:47 AM
I've decided it is possible that this is all heavy sarcasm, mocking in part those who claim there is a war on Christmas by pointing out that the holiday and its trappings are so pervasive that even Jews, atheists, and Unitarians are looking to get in on the action, and anyway the holiday itself is a conglomerate of a variety of faiths and secular traditions, so it can hardly be claimed as the sole property of the hysterical fundamentalists who screech about the pending takeover.
In that case my only complaint is that it is really not very funny at all.
Posted by: rob | December 26, 2009 12:11 PM
This is obviously tongue-in-cheek. I'm a bit taken aback by the sheer number of commenters here who don't get it. Read it again with GK's voice in your head. It's mildly funny, like most of his stuff. Geez, lighten up, Ed!
Posted by: Rob Ryan | December 26, 2009 4:12 PM
"This is obviously tongue-in-cheek...Read it again with GK's voice in your head."
Found the guy on YouTube and listened for a few minutes. AGH! That made it worse! Not being familiar with the guy's body of work, but I don't see how it's "obviously" tongue-in-cheek. Poe's Law may apply here.
Posted by: jomega | December 26, 2009 5:46 PM
That may be the case, jomega. It is obvious to me because I am very familiar with the man's style and politics. The attitude he takes in his "op-ed" is exactly the attitude he frequently lampoons.
Posted by: Rob Ryan | December 28, 2009 9:04 PM