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Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of Michigan Citizens for Science and co-founder of The Panda's Thumb. He has written for such publications as The Bard, Skeptic and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, spoken in front of many organizations and conferences, and appeared on nationally syndicated radio shows and on C-SPAN. Ed is also a Fellow with the Center for Independent Media and the host of Declaring Independence, a one hour weekly political talk show on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan.(static)
Ed Brayton also blogs at Positive Liberty and The Panda's Thumb
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Posted on: December 28, 2009 9:23 AM, by Ed Brayton
This, quite frankly, is downright creepy. I'll give you three guesses who said it:
Now, if I were on my own, could I cook my own food? Yes, absolutely. In fact, I have quipped to my Mom in the best, much to her amusement, that the Four things that I can do rather well are Read, Cook, Drive, and Screw! (I do not mean with a screwdriver either...)
He told his mom that he's good at screwing. And published that online for all to see. Yes, you should feel you need a shower right now.
Politics
Comments
It must be Mr. Braytons' favorite punching bag, Mr. Pat.
Posted by: SLC | December 28, 2009 9:30 AM
Random capitalization == Pat
Posted by: Mikka | December 28, 2009 9:31 AM
Sarah Palin?
Posted by: Sabazinus | December 28, 2009 9:34 AM
I'm surprised that he didn't ask her if she wanted proof.
Posted by: mgordon | December 28, 2009 9:34 AM
Notice he doesn't mention whether he's with someone when he's doing it...
Posted by: Pineyman | December 28, 2009 9:36 AM
My initial expectation was also Sarah Palin! (I guess I read "downright creepy" and I automatically think "Sarah Palin.")
Posted by: Circe | December 28, 2009 9:36 AM
I think Homer put it best.
Must
Wash
Eyes
Posted by: Matty | December 28, 2009 9:37 AM
Ed dropped the pronouns 'he' and 'his'. Now, what famous males are (were) close to their mothers?
Do I get two guesses? Bill Clinton and Robin Williams.
Posted by: Rodney | December 28, 2009 9:41 AM
Clearly Patty is still dribbling crap onto the internet.
Posted by: MikeMa | December 28, 2009 9:44 AM
Pat Robertson? Damn, wait, reading is the first one, scratch him.
Posted by: Rob Monkey | December 28, 2009 9:44 AM
Matty - Iliad or Odyssey? - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | December 28, 2009 9:45 AM
Oh, wait, you said "he." So Sarah Palin is right out. Ok, second guess...
Mark Sanford.
I mean, he certainly knows how to "screw."
Posted by: Sabazinus | December 28, 2009 9:46 AM
I'm not going back to his blog to verify the source, but this sounds just like Pat. Now we know how he pays his mother "rent." And by "cook" he means Cup-A-Soup and Cheetos.
Posted by: kehrsam | December 28, 2009 9:51 AM
Note that he doesn't say he does a lot of the cooking at home. He just says that if he were on his own, he could cook.
Similarly, if he could be arsed to take a job in his trade (i.e. driving trucks), he's sure he'd be a great driver.
Therefore, if he weren't an out-of-shape unemployed racist with a jihad beard living in his mother's basement he's sure he'd be showing all kinds of women how a Real Man does it.
Given his blog output I would argue it's highly likely his reading skills are likewise purely hypothetical.
You know, I'd make a great starship captain.
Posted by: DaveL | December 28, 2009 9:56 AM
DaveL-
No, no, no. Not all kinds of women - only skinny white women with long hair. And yes, this was said by Pat. And yes, it's still creepy.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | December 28, 2009 10:01 AM
How is a man without a car able to brag about being able to drive well...
Posted by: deep | December 28, 2009 10:11 AM
My apologies to Bill Clinton and Robin Williams. It was early. I hadn't had coffee. Now I'm all better.
Posted by: Rodney | December 28, 2009 10:42 AM
Oh, wait, you said "read." So Sarah Palin is right out.
Posted by: j a higginbotham | December 28, 2009 10:50 AM
Clearly you need to create a special "Pat" tag, Ed.
Posted by: Adrienne | December 28, 2009 10:53 AM
How is a man without a car able to brag about being able to drive well...
WELL, I OFTEN BRAG ABOUT MY ABILITY TO HIT A MAJOR LEAGUE CURVEBALL!!! AFTER ALL, IT'S NEVER BEEN (AND NEVER WILL BE) DISPROVEN!!!
Posted by: FBI Regional Bureau Chief GORDON COLE!!! | December 28, 2009 11:07 AM
He told his mom that he's good at screwing. And published that online for all to see.
GET WITH THE TIMES, ED!!! ONLINE PERSONALS ARE TOTALLY MAINSTREAM NOW!!!
Posted by: FBI Regional Bureau Chief GORDON COLE!!! | December 28, 2009 11:10 AM
I didn't need to read that to know that Pat has some serious mommy issues, but it's nice to have it confirmed just the same.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | December 28, 2009 11:14 AM
Pat's remark is funny, Ed, and demonstrates that his mom probably has a sense of humor. I thought you had one, too. Why are you scared to joke about sex with your mom? And as a year-long fan of your blog, I feel entitled to tell you that I'm sick of this folie a deux between you and Pat. Lighten up.
Posted by: Jon | December 28, 2009 11:39 AM
Actually, Pat's mom says he's not really that good at screwing.
Posted by: GregB | December 28, 2009 12:18 PM
I ruled out George W. Bush when I saw "read" as one of the things the person claimed to do well.
Posted by: Tommykey | December 28, 2009 12:19 PM
And how many people past 6th grade brag about their reading ability?
Posted by: Molly, NYC | December 28, 2009 12:34 PM
Actually, I think the only thing Pat's screwed in his entire lifetime is a lightbulb.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | December 28, 2009 12:37 PM
---How is a man without a car able to brag about being able to drive well...---
Didn't he say that he use to be a truck driver? Or is that blowing up the resume a wee bit too much?
---GET WITH THE TIMES, ED!!! ONLINE PERSONALS ARE TOTALLY MAINSTREAM NOW!!!---
AND THEY ARE STILL CREEPY! Just because they exist; does not mean that they are good ideas.
Posted by: Gregory Weagle | December 28, 2009 12:39 PM
Well, the supposition is that his mom does the cooking. We know his mom does the driving, and we could venture a guess that she provides the internet access for him to do most of his reading. I wonder who that implicates as his appetite for screwing.
Posted by: TheDude | December 28, 2009 1:04 PM
I think it's clear that the only screwing Pat does is entirely in his head, which is obviously very screwed indeed!
Posted by: Artor | December 28, 2009 1:16 PM
Obviously just a typo as he meant to say "the past", not a freudian slip about how his mom is the best or anything, right? Please? . . . cough*choke*gasp*breakfast coming up at the thought, excuse me . . .
Posted by: marnk | December 28, 2009 1:35 PM
Wow, you know you're a piece of shit when Dan Riehl says this about you.
http://www.riehlworldview.com/carnivorous_conservative/2009/12/note-to-pat-at-political-byline.html
Posted by: mgordon | December 28, 2009 3:10 PM
Did Ed get this many smug concern trolls back when he mocked Gribbit on a regular basis? It seems like every time Ed makes a joke about Pat, some sniveling little shithead will pop up to state that, as a big fan of Ed's blog, they are very, very upset that Ed is picking on Pat.
One year of reading the blog is what it takes for you to be "entitled" to whine about its content, Jon? Well, as someone who's been reading the blog for a few years, I feel entitled to tell you to go fuck yourself. Hard. With something sharp.
Posted by: Wes | December 28, 2009 3:24 PM
I love people who are proud of the fact that they can read. it reminds me of people who have bumper stickers that say they support the troops.
You're supposed to, dummy.
Posted by: DuggleBogey | December 28, 2009 3:54 PM
Oedipus.
Posted by: Herod the Freemason | December 28, 2009 3:56 PM
The best part is this person seems to be talking about the four things he can do on his own.
Posted by: Muzz | December 28, 2009 4:07 PM
Who's Pat?
Posted by: Elyse | December 28, 2009 4:18 PM
Pat can do a few little thing, but why is this supposed to be creepy?
Posted by: passing for human | December 28, 2009 4:40 PM
Ah, no surprise that it was Pat. I look forward to enjoying more entertaining outbursts from this ignorant clown in the new year! :D
Posted by: Brian W | December 28, 2009 4:56 PM
It looks like something that net.uber.creep Tucker Max would write.
Posted by: Julie Stahlhut | December 28, 2009 4:57 PM
He's a good driver?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-vMCTgGjTRA
/Soren
Posted by: Soren | December 28, 2009 4:59 PM
AND THEY ARE STILL CREEPY! Just because they exist; does not mean that they are good ideas.
Pretty sure Gordon's post was tongue in cheek, but in any event--what's so creepy about online personals? (I mean, I agree that posting an online personal with the intent that it be read by one's mom would be creepy, but personal ads in general.)
Posted by: Solly Hofman | December 28, 2009 5:04 PM
Pretty creepy. I would have guessed Ted Haggart, but Pat is just as creepy.
Posted by: mxh | December 28, 2009 6:03 PM
GregB
ROFL. I laughed and gagged at the same time.
Posted by: Leni | December 28, 2009 6:18 PM
According to Google, this is someone named "Chuck Adkins", who calls himself "Patrick" on a blog that calls itself "Alexandria" at Wordpress, and who also claims some connection to "politicalbyline.com". I don't know what any of this has to do with Pat Robertson, aside from the creepy miasma suffusing the lot of them. Is "Chuck" his real name? Is there any actual connection? Who can be bothered to read him?
Posted by: Nathan Myers | December 28, 2009 6:22 PM
It seems he uses both Patrick and Chuck. He's registered as Patrick but signs as Chuck.
http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?uid=68650351873&topic=7967
Posted by: Dr X | December 28, 2009 7:08 PM
I've just come back to civilization after spending 2 days around uneducated fundie subhuman hicks.
Please put off posts by morons until I've had time to recover from this shit. :P
Posted by: Katharine | December 28, 2009 9:22 PM
And then brag to your mother about it.
Posted by: Azkyroth | December 28, 2009 11:26 PM
Jon's comment is so egregiously self-righteous that I'm inclined to think that he's a concern-Poe.
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | December 29, 2009 1:13 AM
In what universe?
Posted by: Owen | December 29, 2009 9:50 AM
God I love Pat posts. Why won't that basement dwelling werebear get offline? *shudders*
Posted by: Coryat | December 30, 2009 7:05 AM
I see my comment was baleeted. I'm sorry if it came off as Jewish and lacking in lollersauce.
Posted by: Tyler DiPietro | January 1, 2010 1:16 AM