Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
George Carlin famously joked about how God, according to the televangelists, always needs money - "He's all knowing, all powerful and all wise, but somehow he can't hold on to money." He could also have pointed out that the televangelists -- who are, as Rick Overton once declared, the pro wrestlers of religion -- always blame it on Satan when there isn't enough of the green stuff flowing in. The Columbus Dispatch reports on Rod Parsley's desperate plea for donations:
The Rev. Rod Parsley has issued a desperate plea for money, telling his flock that he is facing a "demonically inspired financial attack" that is threatening his ministry.Parsley is asking for donations by Dec. 31, calling that date an "unavoidable deadline" during an episode of Breakthrough posted yesterday on www.rodparsley.com. Breakthrough is Parsley's television show.
The headline of the appeal for donations reads: "Will you help me take back what the devil stole?"
When asked to comment yesterday, Parsley's World Harvest Church issued a statement saying the recession caused a decline in member giving in 2009, which has led to a fourth-quarter deficit of $3 million despite a 30 percent reduction in the budget.
This year, the church settled for $3.1 million with a family whose son was spanked at its day-care center in 2006, to the point his buttocks and legs were covered with welts and abrasions.
The boy, then 2, said he was spanked with a "knife" by a substitute teacher. His parents, Michael and Lacey Faieta, believe it was a ruler.
The Faietas said the payment was made this year. During yesterday's Breakthrough broadcast, Parsley referred to a $3 million check he had to write from the ministry.
Yeah, the devil made them abuse that child. You know Rod, you could sell the two mansions on your 21 acre compound that are worth millions. Or you could sell your private jet and fly coach instead. In fact, I bet if you opened up the books to your followers -- something you refuse to do -- they'd be able to find lots of ways to trim a little fat off the budget.
Here's the video of Parsley's pathetic begging:
Politics
Comments
"demonically inspired financial attack"
Somebody better call an exorcist.
Posted by: History Punk | December 17, 2009 9:41 AM
Could the "demonically inspired financially attack" be a subtle admission that he's stealing their money and that he's a demon?
Posted by: dogmeatib | December 17, 2009 9:43 AM
"demonically inspired financial attack"
Oral srikes from beyond the grave? - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 17, 2009 10:02 AM
Oral srikes from beyond the grave? - DJ
Now that sounds like the kind of publication it's illegal to send through the US mail (see the Marc Randazza thread if this makes no sense).
Posted by: Matty | December 17, 2009 10:06 AM
The other thought that occurred to me:
"Quick, call Father Damien Karras's accountant brother!". - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 17, 2009 10:06 AM
A 900 ft Jesus told me to make 3 million dollars!
Posted by: chris | December 17, 2009 10:44 AM
Actually Satan Attacks Rod Parsley and Oral From Beyond the Grave are available as a two DVD box set titled Real Horror.
Posted by: Matty | December 17, 2009 10:57 AM
Yet another example of a pastor fleecing his flock.
Posted by: Barry21 | December 17, 2009 11:01 AM
Posted by: Ryan Egesdahl | December 17, 2009 11:10 AM
I've got less than zero sympathy for televangelists or ecclesiastical child abuse, but: a $3.1M settlement? Was the kid crippled for life or something?
Posted by: Eamon Knight | December 17, 2009 11:12 AM
Hold on, hold on. Ole Rod may be telling the truth here. Does he have an ex-wife?
Posted by: Algerine | December 17, 2009 11:22 AM
As I have not made a donation to Rod this year, does that mean I'm afflicted by demons? Cool!
Posted by: kehrsam | December 17, 2009 11:31 AM
"$3.1M settlement? Was the kid crippled for life or something?"
I can only imagine the damage done to children in the care of these crazy people and I cannot imagine what a 2 year old child could possibly do that would have earned a harse beating with a stick. Can you?
If I was on the jury I would have suggested $20 million.
Posted by: Owen | December 17, 2009 11:33 AM
Eamon, my guess is that it was a "settlement", which allowed the financial and other records uncovered during discovery to stay secret. Essentially hush money. When you are running a scam, and someone gets an oportunity to look at your books because of a minor infraction, they can extract a disproportionate payement because that is what keeps the whole house of cards from tumbling down.
Posted by: daedalus2u | December 17, 2009 11:34 AM
I just picked up on the last line in Ed's post. How does a huge 'charitable' organization with tax exemption status get away without opening its books to everyone? At a minimum, shouldn't they have to file publicly available forms with the I.R.S., including disclosing the salaries of the directors?
Posted by: Craig | December 17, 2009 11:37 AM
I'd say a $3.2M settlement is fair enough - the poor kid will never be able face Tabouli again. :) - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 17, 2009 11:43 AM
Judging by what I've heard about the case, we're talking about gross negligence and abuse on the part of both the individual and the organization. You're talking about a beating that left the kid with welts and abrasions and, though all agreed it was likely a ruler rather than a knife, the kid was pretty obviously freaked out. Add in the legal expenses and 3.1 million doesn't sound that high. They weren't willing to gamble on a worse settlement given a jury trial where a jury is likely to side with the frightened mother and terrified child. Worse yet, for the "ministry" is the understandably bad press that would be out there every minute the trial continued added to the legal expense of trying to defend what is really an indefensible position. What are they going to say, "little Johnny deserved to have a beating?"
Seriously pissed parents? Indefensible position? "Charitable" organization dependent upon the good will of followers? Screw it, settle. On top of that, likely is the cherry of keeping the books hidden.
Posted by: dogmeatib | December 17, 2009 11:49 AM
I'm confused. Once you're God's "property", doesn't that mean the devil can't touch you?
Re: the kid - the tragedy is that there are still sheeple who send their children to his day-care, convinced that he's been wronged by people who aren't True Christians™.
I'm sure they'll rally around him and bail him out. Pity - I hope the SOB goes down. He's largely responsible for delivering Ohio to Bush in the last two elections.
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 17, 2009 12:41 PM
I agree that $3.1 sounds ludicriously exorbitant for what happened...not that I think what happened to the kid was right.
But hey, at least the family has enough money to put the kid through college, I hope.
The Rev. Rod Parsley has issued a desperate plea for money, telling his flock that he is facing a "demonically inspired financial attack" that is threatening his ministry.
I bet the Satanicly controlled Jewish bankers are behind it.
Posted by: Adrienne | December 17, 2009 1:11 PM
... Calvera: If God didn't want them sheared, he would not have made them sheep. ...[The Magnificent Seven]
Posted by: tms | December 17, 2009 1:58 PM
I wonder why he needs to ask *humans* for help to battle *demons*. Seems his god is helpless.
I always quip to theists that I'll join the first church that worships a god who can fund his own ministry.
Posted by: Kacy Ray | December 17, 2009 2:00 PM
The "settlement" was the result of a jury trial, affirmed by the Ohio State Supreme Court (the ruling is on line). At that, the trial judge *reduced* the initial jury award of $6 million in punitive damages as being in excess of Ohio statutory limits.
The case in question was the second time the care provider was involved in physical abuse of a young child at the center--the only two times he was left in sole charge of young children.
The church did no reporting or followup on the first incident and actively impeded the parents from finding out what happened in the second incident. The church actively *lied* to other parents about what had happened as well (they sent out messages about a kid having a "rash").
The state supreme court lays it all out. Read the decision and then decide whether the amount is justified or not.
Posted by: W. H. Heydt | December 17, 2009 2:21 PM
"Demonically inspired financial attack?" Couldn't an audit by KPMG have caught that sort of thing?
Posted by: Raging Bee | December 17, 2009 2:37 PM
Kacy Ray (21) - your quip is a keeper. If I steal it, I'll amend it to: "... fund his own ministry and fight his own battles". It isn't just that they want to fleece every sheep they find, they also feel a need to defend "the Almighty" from mere mortals.
Posted by: John Swindle | December 17, 2009 3:15 PM
I wonder what would happen if people used the credit card payment system to donate very small amounts like $0.02. Would the card charges cost more than the donation was worth?
Any credit card company staff who know?
Posted by: Tasmanian Devil | December 17, 2009 3:47 PM
Just seen the international edition of the late show and am ROFLOL. That GOP spokeshoney was pisspour.
Posted by: eddie | December 17, 2009 3:52 PM
Rod Parsley is PT Barnum with a two-dollar Bible. Period.
The sooner his dimwitted followers recognize that, the better off they'll be.
Plus, if Parsley making such a lame, ham-handed request to his audience (of whom many I suspect live on very fixed incomes) at the back-end of a recession doesn't qualify him for hell I don't know what else could.
Posted by: CHV | December 17, 2009 5:40 PM
T'S ENOUGH ALREADY WITH THESE ILLITERATE ATHEISTS POSTINGS!!!!!!!
've never encountered as much stupidity, illiterate, ignorant and
uneducated people posting . Hasn't anyone gone to school? What is the
educational level of these people? Is this an example of how
inadequate our educational system is?? The ignorance and sheer
stupidity of people who post here is amazing. SCIENC FORUMS should
shut down the entire page until things settle down. The roaches are
crawling roaches are crawling out of the woodwork, the idiots are
blogging, and this whole page has gone out of control. I've seen
racism and anti-Semitism on these posts, I've read of suicides of f,
and just about everything you can imagine. One must ask themselves:
what, as a society are we coming to when people can't think, spell,
and even express their thoughts in a correct grammatical manner. I
think the Federal Government needs to look at these postings and see
how much sheer stupidity is rampant on these pages. Someone may reply,
"Then what are YOU doing here?". I'm here because I am curious, but
now I've become shocked and alarmed at the mental deficiencies of
these posters. If this is what America has produced with respect to
education, then we as a nation are going to become extinct.
Posted by: TRUECRISTIAN | December 17, 2009 6:05 PM
Ah, may the blessings of St. Carlin be upon you, Ed.
Posted by: WMDKitty | December 17, 2009 6:17 PM
Jeff Eyge "He's largely responsible for delivering Ohio to Bush in the last two elections."
2004 & 2008? Wow. The guy has got some serious pull.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | December 17, 2009 6:35 PM
Rod Parsley? With a name like that, he should go on tour with Neil Hamburger. He's already got the "uncomfortable" part of his schtick down. Now he just needs the "funny" bit.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | December 17, 2009 6:42 PM
Sign that you just woke up: reading a page, posting a comment. Reading the same page again (including the comments), remaining blissfully unaware, posting another comment.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | December 17, 2009 6:50 PM
TRUECHRISTIAN said:
Why should the Feds care?
As it happens, most of the posts on this thread are merely expressing the poster's opinion, just like you. Not a whole lot of reasoned arguments, I agree, but then the topic does not really suit such arguments. I am a Christian who doesn't care for televangelists; they don't reach the lost either here in the US or anywhere else around the world. Seems like a lot of the "Atheists" here agree.
Posted by: kehrsam | December 17, 2009 7:56 PM
Dear Ed,
Thanks so much for posting this video. In my late teens and early twenties (before I was an atheist), I went to church with some people who just loved this guy. They all seem like hucksters to me. Too bad his deity isn't all-powerful. Then it could have stopped the beating of that two year old.
Posted by: tripencrypt | December 17, 2009 9:39 PM
I hate Poe's Law, I just can't decide in TRUECHRISTIAN is satire or not.
I've got zero sympathy for anyone Christian, Atheist, or worshipper of leprechauns, who abuses children or allows children to be abused and tries to cover it up (which is apparently what happened in this case). Once you cross that line, especially if it involves beating a helpless 2 year old to the point of welts, you should lose all credibility. It's very sad to me that he hasn't.
Posted by: Noadi | December 17, 2009 11:07 PM
I think it would be easier to raise welts with a table knife than a ruler--much easier.
TrueRanter, check out Free Republic if you want illiteracy.
Posted by: Monado | December 18, 2009 12:27 AM
Jesus got Oral, and Satan only got Parsley.
See, virtue IS its own reward.
Posted by: Amy Wilkinson Marsh | December 18, 2009 1:42 AM
So spending eternity with Oral Roberts the reward for a virtuous life? Congratulations! You've promoted 'sinning' from being "simply fun" to "an absolute necessity"! :) - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 18, 2009 3:00 AM
In Mark Twain's life on the Mississippi there is a scene with a seance that includes something along the following lines.
"Do all good people end up where you are?"
"Yes"
"You know my present life, can you suggest any additional sins that might ensure my going somewhere else?"
Posted by: Matty | December 18, 2009 4:40 AM
"At a minimum, shouldn't they have to file publicly available forms with the I.R.S., including disclosing the salaries of the directors?"
I don't know about Parsley, but Creflo Dollar has a creative way around this: He gets a tiny salery. But the church owns his house, all his vehicles, and quite a few other posessions. Essentially it's a tax dodge - it means he can live in a huge home, but as it's actually owned by a tax-exempt church, there is no property tax to pay.
Because so many of his 'posessions' are church-owned, his on-paper value is actually very tiny, and yet he is still able to life the lifestyle of a multi-millionare. When he wants a holiday, the church pays for it as a 'ministry' trip, and so on.
I suspect the IRS would not approve - his one one of the ministeries that Grassley ordered investigated, but as far as I know nothing much ever came of that, and the church financial records remain private.
Posted by: Suricou Raven | December 18, 2009 5:25 AM
D'oh! You know what I meant!
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 18, 2009 6:23 AM
The comparison televangelists to Pro Wrestlers is a good one.
Posted by: King of Ireland | December 18, 2009 6:24 AM
Matty - as usual, Twain says it betterer. :) - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 18, 2009 6:30 AM
But the church owns his house, all his vehicles, and quite a few other posessions.
On another site, someone posted a link to the record for Parsley's house on the County Assessor's website. It's owned by a trust, which is in his wife's name. I'm sure he's taken similar precautions with all other major assets.
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 18, 2009 6:31 AM
In regard to assets held by these assclowns, why does RICO keep coming to mind? - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 18, 2009 6:33 AM
Parsley is a scumbag showboat, a guy who loves his own celebrity more than he loves his god. He's an embarrassment to decent folk here in central Ohio, Christian or otherwise.
Posted by: Moon Jaguar | December 18, 2009 8:14 AM
To Owen @13 - which sounds like it would be a great name for a Lifetime Movie or a book that Oprah would feature:
You are unaware of the propensity of a certain type of Christians for bible-based baby beating. One prominent proponent is James Dobson -- who is not a minister but a child psychologist, and whose book, DARE TO DISCIPLINE was what brought him into prominence. He's relatively mild, compared to some of them. For example, the Fugates have a nice 'age-appropriate chart' of the proper size rod to use -- and they even suggest getting them at Home Depot.
And finally -- though the Fugates say it should not be necessary because 'the child should be already trained to obedience by eight to twelve' -- if not, they recommend continuing to 'chastize' the child until age 20.
(The last is the length of, and one third the thickness of, an average major league baseball bat.)Posted by: Prup (aka Jim Benton) | December 18, 2009 11:10 AM
Wow, one snake-oil salesman pops off the earth and another one takes his place.
It really makes you wonder what kind of people fall for this kind of shill game of the Devil.
But, sigh, I think I already know, living in Texas and once in Alabama.
Posted by: Farley | December 18, 2009 1:31 PM
As Christians, we know that there is a literal hell and a lake of fire where the unsaved will burn for all eternity, therefore, we act upon this Truth without reservation and GO OUT into the streets and communities of America declaring the WORD OF GOD and proclaiming the GOOD NEWS.
We must go out to where the sinners are. We must go to those who would never come into our churches— to the atheists, to the religious, to the self-righteous, to the God-hating and win their souls to Christ.
For the Holy Scriptures declare in Romans 10, “How then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed? and how shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard? and how shall they hear without a preacher? And how shall they preach, except they be sent?For so long, we have allowed Satan to invade our communities through abortuaries, the entertainment and pornography industries, religious institutions, sexually perverse establishments, homosexual parades and other sin celebrations, without a word from the Christian therein. God has called us to “Cry aloud, spare not, lift up thy voice like a trumpet, and shew my people their transgression, and the house of Jacob their sins.” Isaiah 58:1
Posted by: TRUECRISTIAN | December 18, 2009 11:00 PM
"As Christians, we know that there is a literal hell and a lake of fire where the unsaved will burn for all eternity".
Uh, no, no you don't know this, you believe this to be true, but you don't know it. If you know of a 'literal hell and a lake of fire', it shouldn't be too hard to show evidence of this, complete with souls 'burning for all eternity', should it?
Also, if such a place exists (as you believe) then it undermines the idea of the Christian god being a god of peace, justice and mercy completely.
Face it, yours is a petty-minded, weak, frightened little god who is forced to rely on bullying and sadism to keep it's followers, and it can't even manage to reveal that it exists, instead it relies on it's like minded followers using "god's methods" to spread it's 'word'. Not really such a great god after all. - DJ
Posted by: DingoJack | December 18, 2009 11:28 PM
Hey, folks, it worked for Anal Robards. He got his university built by claiming that God was going to take him to Heaven if supporters didn't mail in their shekels.
Posted by: James M. Martin | December 19, 2009 1:18 AM
I can only imagine the damage done to children in the care of these crazy people and I cannot imagine what a 2 year old child could possibly do that would have earned a harse beating with a stick. Can you?
No, I can't and I never defended Parsley, his "ministry", or tried to justify the occurrence. OK, punitive damages and I saw the comment about how the particular indivicual had done this before and the ministry hadn't done anything about the sadist. However, I'm not USAian, and you must be aware that from the outside many American damage awards look way out of line.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | December 19, 2009 1:58 AM
I know in the spiritual realm there are demonic attacks and that people who are antagonistic toward the Lord are used in these attacks. HOWEVER, I also believe we as Christians bring a lot of that stuff on ourselves when we fail to walk as Jesus came to show us. Jesus said if I be lifted up I will draw all men unto Me. Unfortunately, I don't see a lot of Jesus and I think that is what enrages people so. Jesus GAVE His life to the point of death. In reading the gospels, I don't recall Him taking a lot from others. Except when He took a little boy's lunch. But He did that in order to multiply it to give it to thousands of others. Christians now days seem to think they have the right to a life of luxury and ease because they belong to God. Jesus was the Son of God and scripture tells us He didn't have a place to lay His head. What today's Christians seem to have done is immerse themselves in the world system while at the same time professing to have the truth and passing themselves off as righteous and better than any one else. We are saved by grace - the grace of a holy God who came to live in a human body who ultimately paid the penalty that we were not able to pay for our sin. If we truly believed what we say we would realize that the only difference between us and any one else is that we have accepted forgiveness. That should make us an extremely humble people. WWJD? I don't think it would be to form an organization where child abuse is allowed and then go on the airways to ask struggling people who more than likely do not live in million dollar homes to pay for the consequences of these actions.
Posted by: plj | December 19, 2009 11:33 AM
As Rod used to say, "There's a payday someday".
Posted by: clc | December 19, 2009 12:54 PM
Prup @ # 47 - A half-inch dowel is "one third the thickness of... an average major league baseball bat"? Maybe at the gripping end...
And the Fugates need a club to "equalize" them with an 8-to-12-yr-old? Good thing they don't seem to have heard of Tasers.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | December 19, 2009 1:18 PM
Prup:
"For example, the Fugates have a nice 'age-appropriate chart' of the proper size rod to use -- and they even suggest getting them at Home Depot."
So, that idiot with the phony Scots get-up and accent in those "Thinking with your dipstick" commercials is a fundie?
Posted by: democommie | December 19, 2009 1:34 PM
That should make us an extremely humble people.
Humble enough to admit that your entire belief system may be in error?
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 20, 2009 12:27 PM
#57 - Jeff
Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.
John 14:6
Posted by: plj | December 20, 2009 6:04 PM
plj: If Jesus actually said that, how come there are no quote marks, hmmm?
Posted by: Modusoperandi | December 20, 2009 6:18 PM
#59 - Modusoperandi
Jesus said to him, "I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me". John 14:6
The heart of the matter is seeking God and His ways, not punctuation.
Posted by: plj | December 20, 2009 7:14 PM
plj,
Other than your book of dubious provenance, please provide some evidence that Jesus said anything.
Posted by: dogmeatib | December 20, 2009 8:32 PM
Why does God hate punctuation?
Why has central Ohio been cursed with the presence of both Parsley and Freshwater?
Posted by: ildi | December 20, 2009 9:59 PM
plj - There are no such things as demons. Come out of the Middle Ages.
Posted by: Taz | December 20, 2009 10:46 PM
Fundies are still selling Joe Hill's 'pie in the sky' after nearly a hundred years. - DJ
--------------------
* The chorus is sung in a call and response pattern.
You will eat [You will eat] bye and bye [bye and bye]
In that glorious land above the sky [Way up high]
Work and pray [Work and pray] live on hay [live on hay]
You'll get pie in the sky when you die [That's a lie!]
Thus the final verse becomes
You will eat [You will eat] bye and bye [bye and bye]
When you've learned how to cook and how to fry [How to fry]
Chop some wood [Chop some wood], 'twill do you good [do you good]
Then you'll eat in the sweet bye and bye [That's no lie]
Posted by: DingoJack | December 21, 2009 12:02 AM
Jesus said to him, I am the way, the truth and the life; no one comes to the Father except through Me.
John 14:6
Right. Well, I'm convinced.
Posted by: Jeff Eyges | December 21, 2009 7:04 AM
Dear Little UnSaved Racists (who come onto our Godly Forum spewing hate speech):
We at Church do not follow your bigoted ways. Unlike you, we do not refer to colored folk with derogatory terms. Instead, we use LBC/God-approved language, such as:
Colored person/folk
Darkie
Descendant of Ham (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Canaanite (LOOK IT UP, it's in Genesis)
Negro/Negress
Nigra/Nigress
The latter two are always capitalized, as they are proper terms for the Negroid race (much as Caucasian is the proper term for Godly White Folk).
We do not use the gutter slang word, "nigger", except in context to rebuke bigots like yourselves.
After several hours in deep prayer with Brother Love's good friend Deacon J. Daniels, a solution for this most vexing problem was revealed to me in a vision.
Jesus has decided that the use of this word has been deemed so awful, and so wrong, that anyone (who is not Saved or at least using it in the proper context of rebuking racist heathens) that mutters this word is automatically banned for 7 days!
Having unquestioning faith in Jesus, I have no doubt that this will help remove these evil people who have no desire to learn about God and Jesus from our midst.
Indeed, it is a shame that these heathens cannot realize that we are only here to share the unvarnished Truth about God's Word, and who God and Jesus are as described in God's Word (the KJV1611). Perhaps if they were to read their Bibles instead of spending all their time chatting online, they'd learn something about God.
Instead, they prefer to listen to Pastor and his little snippets of happiness and joy! It's much easier to believe in a God and Jesus of your own design, who love everyone equally, than to learn about the real God and Jesus! The Bible tells us all about Him!
God hates sheep (and racist heathens).
Posted by: TRUECRISTIAN | December 21, 2009 7:45 PM
What level do you need to be to cast "demonically inspired financial attack?" Does it require any special items? Can you get them from a vendor? Or do they need to be crafted?
Posted by: Ian | December 25, 2009 12:35 AM
Let's here it for the hypocrites. They fight so hard to stop abortions but what do you do after they are born, beat them to a pulp I guess. Is that his philosophy for child care? I like watching televangelists; they give me a good laugh.
Posted by: Russ | January 10, 2010 12:19 PM