Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
James Hanley stumbled on this far right fringe site that claims that there are tunnels dug under the Bering Straits, through which Russia is prepared to launch an assault and take over the United States. You know you're in for some serious crazy right away when you read this:
Both Russian sources and US military have confirmed a huge military tunnel beneath the BERING STRAIT, linking SIBERIA with ALASKANo, it was not DUG out, but BORED OUT using nuclear power that melted it's way through solid rock, six miles a day.
Everyone have their tinfoil hats on tight? Remember, shiny side out or it won't deflect the evil thoughts.
The SHADOW GOVERNMENT and the MANY nations behind the scenes who hope to get a "PIECE OF THE PIE" AS AMERICA IS DIVIDED UP, her Constitution and sovereignty rescinded, her Patriotic and religious freedom fighters rounded up or killed off, sent to the camps Bolshevik communist style, to be tortured and killed as NWO resisters...But since I know that the Kings of the East will be coming to America down through Alaska and Canada it is easy to see that it is more than likely true. This article also says (see above link) that there are already 200,000 foreign troops massing in the Bering Strait area which is not unusual.
It is also common knowledge to those who 'have ears that hear and eyes that see' that there are at least 100,000 Mexican troops on America's southern border with Mexico under the guise of fighting a drug war. I believe the drug war is being used as a distraction to cover up the fact that the Mexican troops and other nations troops stationed down there will be used to strike at the belly of America at the appointed time...
In the two short videos below they talk about guillotines that are now secretly being stored here in America. I've been hearing stories about these guillotines for many years now. This video report says that these guillotines are now and have been stored in America for quite some time. Also according to this video these guillotines will be used to decapitate Christians and others who do not go along with the New World Order.
All of this is coming from another nutball named Pamela Shuffert, whose blog is must reading for those who are attracted to serious crazy.
You know why they had to dig that tunnel, don't you? Because Sarah Palin would see them coming from her house if they tried to come any other way. They have to tunnel beneath Sarah Palin.
Politics
Comments
When did Batshit Insane become a positive trait?
Posted by: dpsisler | January 29, 2010 9:36 AM
Shuffert got her Apocalyptic conspiracy theory all wrong. The Bible clearly says that the huge army will come from the East, which means those Bolsheviks will have to go the long way around to get here. If your religion is so important to you that you think it's under constant threat of being taken away from you, at least base your conspiracy theories on it.
Posted by: catgirl | January 29, 2010 9:38 AM
well.... this guy obviously hates God....
"her Patriotic and religious freedom fighters"
because he failed to capitalise "religious"
It is probably some code to call out devil worshippers to help him....
Posted by: Kevin (NYC) | January 29, 2010 9:38 AM
It seems fair to mention that the Palin joke was thought up by someone called Nicole, who was the first commenter or James Hanley's post on the subject.
Posted by: Matty | January 29, 2010 9:41 AM
Too cool! I read a Tom Swift, Junior book about a half-century ago that described that precise Atomic Hole-Digging Machine! Young Tom invented it himself, and used it to bore to the Earth's core to mine for molten iron! Squirted that iron out on the ice in Antarctica so it would solidify quicker, he did!
And I thought it was science fiction.....
Posted by: Coragyps | January 29, 2010 9:43 AM
Notice how little faith this alleged patriot has in our military. She just assumes they'll step aside and allow this to happen.
Posted by: History Punk | January 29, 2010 9:45 AM
"It seems fair to mention that the Palin joke..."
Joke? What joke?
Posted by: Coragyps | January 29, 2010 9:47 AM
Well, now we know why Palin resigned and ran away from the front...
Posted by: Raging Bee | January 29, 2010 9:49 AM
History punk, I assume its written in Wingnutian rather than English. For those unfamilliar with the language.
Patriot = Person who believes all national institutions are evil.
Other useful translations include.
Conservative = One who seeks radical changes in society and government to conform to their own religious values.
Christian = One who believes that God's kingdom is of this world.
Tolerance = Intolerance (easy one that)
I'm sure you can add to the list if you want.
Posted by: Matty | January 29, 2010 9:54 AM
If one is going to have capital punishment, the guillotine is the way to go. It's much more dramatic than this wussy lethal injection.
Posted by: JusticeLeague | January 29, 2010 10:00 AM
When the invasion happens, I'm going to go hide out with the aliens under Denver International Airport.
Posted by: Andrea | January 29, 2010 10:01 AM
This machine melted six miles of tunnel a day?! Wonder what they did with the lava.
Posted by: NoAstronomer | January 29, 2010 10:02 AM
She just assumes [our military will] step aside and allow this to happen.
Because, of course, our military are part of the conspiracy.
Seriously, that's less insane than some of the other stuff she's positing. Consider the logistics of getting 200k troops onto the eastern peninsula of Siberia, a region seriously lacking in surface transport infrastructure, then getting them through this alleged tunnel into the Seward Peninsula, which also has insufficient surface transport infrastructure to move those troops anywhere else (it's a long way to Manley Hot Springs, the nearest point to the Bering Strait that you can actually drive to from Canada or the Lower 48, and even further to Fairbanks, the nearest railhead). Actually getting this putative invasion force anywhere much beyond Nome is going to be more expensive and time-consuming than buying off enough Pentagon top brass for them to stand down and let it happen.
Posted by: Eric Lund | January 29, 2010 10:03 AM
Are we sure this isn't a viral marketing campaign for the Red Dawn Remake? I mean, they can't be sincere, right? Right? ... Please?
Posted by: Abby Normal | January 29, 2010 10:07 AM
NOT GROUCHO MARX!!!
He lists as "influential members" [of the US-based Church of Satan] J.P. Morgan, Drs. James McDonald and Rene Hardy, the Kennedy's (including Jackie), Irving Berlin, Groucho Marx, Elvis Presley, Garner Ted Armstrong, Sammy Davis Jr., Ronald Reagan, Edward Heath, Thomas Plantard de St Claire and the Bushes.
Posted by: ZiuZippyZed | January 29, 2010 10:14 AM
This is nothing. A former Congressman, James Utt from, where else, Orange Co., Ca. once sent out a newsletter claiming that there were 250,000 Chinese Communist troops in Baja California poised to invade California.
Posted by: SLC | January 29, 2010 10:17 AM
Are you sure this isn't just a promo site for the next Command & Conquer: Red Alert game?
Posted by: harmfulguy | January 29, 2010 10:20 AM
well, they can have alaska. at least then there would be a chance of *someone* preserving the alaskan wilderness. oh, and the mexican's can have texas back, as long as they promise to use all the textbooks there. that way, within a few generations everyone will be to dumb to resist our economic takeover.
Posted by: rob | January 29, 2010 10:26 AM
If they could bore through rock at six miles a day, the Channel Tunnel would have been a hell of a lot cheaper.
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | January 29, 2010 10:37 AM
You'd think any country with that kind of nuclear technology wouldn't bother with a sneak attack.
Posted by: Romeo Vitelli | January 29, 2010 10:47 AM
I'm going to be on a science cruise aboard an icebreaker in the Bering Strait for a couple of weeks in March.
I'll keep my eyes peeled.
Posted by: Squiddhartha | January 29, 2010 10:48 AM
Ha Ginger, good one! The rock that the Channel Tunnel was drilled through is limestone. That doesn't melt until ~2580 C. Basalt and granites melt ~1200 C. Much easier to melt through basalt and granite than through limestone.
Posted by: daedalus2u | January 29, 2010 10:48 AM
I just love this paragraph:
I showed this to a colleague, who had a vague recollection that Don McClean had died not long after recording "American Pie." Maybe the commies killed him for recording that song and revealing their nefarious schemes? It would make sense ...
Turns out that McClean is still alive ... or is he? Maybe that's an imposter, hastily installed in McClean's place after his death, who is still performing McClean's music in order to hide the murder ....
I think I'll send that notion along as an anonymous email and see if it shows up in the blog.
Posted by: Scott Hanley | January 29, 2010 10:52 AM
How do the aliens move 6 miles of molten rock out of the tunnel each day?
Posted by: Dave X | January 29, 2010 10:55 AM
Guillotines? What a weirdo.
Posted by: Chuck C | January 29, 2010 10:55 AM
... a huge military tunnel beneath the BERING STRAIT...
Why bother?
Everybody knows that the Bering Strait is going to freeze so solid you could drive all the tanks in Russia across it at once in August, what with the Great Global Cooling the liberal media is trying to hide from us!
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | January 29, 2010 10:59 AM
How do the aliens move 6 miles of molten rock out of the tunnel each day?
Trade secret, I assume, but if the Houston oil company I work for hears about it, those mothers are HIRED.
Posted by: speedwell | January 29, 2010 11:00 AM
That's true, they were spotted marching six abreast out of the surf at Cabo San Lucas. They were wearing scuba gear made from discarded American hula hoops and beer cans.
(credit: The Congress of Wonders)
Posted by: Mal Adapted | January 29, 2010 11:07 AM
Here's another one for you:
Only this isn't from some blogger whose asylum thinks allowing them internet access is good therapy, or a Congressman like Utt, who was the "Representative from the John Birch Society" -- at the time considered too insane for even far right Conservatives to be seen in the company of. "Ammerman" is Colonel Jim Ammerman (Ret.), who was (as of last summer) and, afaik, remains "...a retired military chaplain who founded and heads the Chaplaincy of Full Gospel Churches, an endorsing agency for over 270 military chaplains and chaplain candidates, as well as chaplains serving prisons and veteran's hospitals."
Some further comments by "Ruth" -- the author who is a co-worker with Bruce Wilson of Talk2Action and the MRFF. (I won't blockquote it, the ---- marks the end)
Other quotes in this two hour video include the following:
"We have more foreign troops in the US than our own troops... so the takeover could take place at any time."
"We are coming to a showdown... we have traitors in high places."
"We won't have another national election."
"Jane Fonda should have been publicly executed not later than 1975... and right behind her should have been some guy named William Clinton."
"There's a great spirit of the antichrist here today...it goes all the way to the Supreme Court."
"Hillary ...tells Bill what to do because she is higher up in the Illuminati than he is, and therefore he has to take orders."
Ammerman also states that 130 camps have been prepared by FEMA that he claims will house millions of dissident American patriots who are not "politically correct." He continues with his own Americanized version of the Dolschtosslegende, or stab in the back theory; Ammerman served in Vietnam and claims that the war could not be won because American forces were ordered to refrain from bombing weapon stockpiles purchased by the Rothschilds and Rockefellers for the North Vietnamese.
------
Ammerman remains -- at least as of a Newsweek article of last June -- one of the people who endorses chaplains to preach to our military. To quote from the article by Kathryn Joyce in NEWSWEEK -- Google it so I don't get hung up in moderation:
And these people are preaching and counseling our servicemen. Freikorps, any one?
{I have spent my whole blog-commenting career condemning those who compared anything occuring in the US to any real form of 'fascism.' I can no longer do this.]
Posted by: Prup (aka Jim Benton) | January 29, 2010 11:13 AM
I saw this movie!!!! I really truly did!!!! Drive-in as a kid, maybe 40 years ago!!! Only it was the Chicoms, not the Russkies.... and the intrepid, loner scientist was locked away in a loony bin for warning real true 'mericans! But the gov't had to let him out and apologise when they discovered he was right!!!! And then they built a true 'merican prototype repulsor doojiggy that beat those nasty commies! Yay! And he got the girl too! So he didn't have to be a loner any more!
Must've been a little too much sass in the sasparilla this guy was drinking when he was watching the late, late, late show.
Posted by: Pineyman | January 29, 2010 11:21 AM
@Prup
Well, you've scared the crap out of me.
Also, why the shout out to the French Revolution? I imagine guillotines are rather hard to explain to the manufacturers, and to any brave investigative journalists who happen to stumble across them. "We, ah, get very cold in the winter. They're great for the smaller logs." Can't we just execute the noble Christian resistance with our extant state death machinery?
Posted by: snurp | January 29, 2010 11:24 AM
There is a tunnel project being developed to link across the Bering Straight; however, it is a joint project between the US and Russia. The intent is to lay NG and rail lines so that the pacific rim is linked overland to reduce shipping costs from China to the US and to open up the import market for energy from the Russian gas fields. They plan on digging from four points simultaneously, one point in Russia, one point in Alaska and two points on a remote island in the Straight.
Last I heard, it was purely still in the planning stage.
Posted by: James Taylor | January 29, 2010 11:30 AM
I've run across this one before. I was in a van headed from Ogden, Utah down to the Salt Lake airport, and fellow rider told me that Yellowstone National Park was now the property of the United Nations. He knew. He'd seen the sign.
Of course the sign just noted that the UN had designated Yellowstone a UNESCO World Heritage site, the equivalent of giving it a gold star and saying, "we really, really like you." But this guy wasn't having any of my explanations--he knew better, and Yellowstone no longer belonged to the United States.
Do you have any idea how long a drive it is from Ogden to Salt Lake when you're trapped in a van with a conspiracy theorist?
Posted by: James Hanley | January 29, 2010 11:32 AM
Wingnuts like these guys tend to get fixated on tunnels, espscially those between countries. Just mention building one, and they're off on a tear about foreign infiltration and invasion. We heard exactly the same wackiness WRT the Chunnel: the French were gonna use it to INVADE ENGLAND!!ELEVENTY-ONE!!!1!!111! Don't even bother listing the logistical problems of sending massed armies through tunnels -- this is pure xenophobia, and nothing else. Give or take some sexual or birth-trauma issues...
Posted by: Raging Bee | January 29, 2010 11:45 AM
@Pineyman #30
I knew (but could never prove) that I wasn't the only one to have watched that movie! Battle Beneath the Earth had the crazy Chi-Com general use their advanced laser-borers to carve the tunnels though, and they came across the whole width of the Pacific before tunneling under all of our precious military bases. So it couldn't be the inspiration for these delusional fantasies, could it?
My favorite scene is when the President orders the entire U.S. to stop everything for an hour so we can listen for the tunnels. "Hello, Phoenix? Someone is using a jack-hammer out your way! Turn it off.... Okay that's better!" Classic!
Posted by: Chris B | January 29, 2010 11:55 AM
Actually the shiny side of aluminum foil is just a manufacturing artifact. A properly constructed foil hat is equally effective in defecting government mind control rays, either side out.
Posted by: Joe T | January 29, 2010 11:58 AM
"Don't even bother listing the logistical problems of sending massed armies through tunnels"
Indeed. Because no attack is harder to defend than one directed through a long underground passage with one exit. We'll be helpless!
Posted by: Ginger Yellow | January 29, 2010 12:00 PM
And we all know what Freud said about guillotines...
^..^
Posted by: Tigerwolf | January 29, 2010 12:09 PM
The Russkies are coming? That is so 1970s. If the Russian army landed in Alaska today, the worse they would do is import cheap strippers and drink up the local hootch.
Posted by: Russell | January 29, 2010 12:14 PM
Seriously, what's up the guillotines?
I was reading those awful "Left Behind" books, and there's a long section where the forces of evil are guillotining everyone who won't take the Mark of the Beast. (Also, the guillotines are never cleaned, so that the tracks get clogged with gore and the blade doesn't fall fast enough to do a clean cut. This of course defeats the purpose of having guillotines, which were designed as a humane and efficient alternative to the executioner's axe.)
So I guess guillotines are part of the Apoco-loon tradition? I wonder how that got started...
Posted by: chaos_engineer | January 29, 2010 12:23 PM
I knew (but could never prove) that I wasn't the only one to have watched that movie! Battle Beneath the Earth
Darn! You guys beat me to it! The post had made me recall the movie, which I watched a couple of times as a kid, but I had forgotten the title.
Posted by: Tommykey | January 29, 2010 12:24 PM
Shuffert also pushes the "106,000 white boxcars with built-in shackles" schtick, which has banged around the wingnut patrons of the Alcoa Haberdashery Shoppe since around 1995.
You haven't heard of it? The eevil gummint bought 106,000 white boxcars with built-in shackles to use in hauling people to the extermination camps.
Of course, if one simply looks up statistics on freight car production at the Railway Supply Institute it immediately becomes obvious that filling such an order would have preempted all railcar production for nearly two years, and if one looks up the dimensions of the Greenbrier Auto-Max (a car carrier specifically designed to accomodate SUVs, photos of which, ganked from railfan Websites, continually appear on the paranoia circuit as picture of said boxcars) some simple arithmetic shows that it would require nearly 3,000 miles of track just to store them- the absurdity of the claim becomes obvious to anyone with half a brain.
That doesn't matter. Conspiracist claims are usually unfalsifiable and are built that way on purpose.
Posted by: Ktesibios | January 29, 2010 12:27 PM
This machine melted six miles of tunnel a day?! Wonder what they did with the lava.
It seems to involve a naive belief that the rock will just disappear if you melt or vaporize it. That's what happens when you get your geophysics from execrable movies like Deep Core or its big-budget (but equally stupid) remake The Core.
Anyways, not to worry: the Russkies have to march through BC to get to the lower 48. The locals will ply them with good BC bud, and they'll be way too mellow to fight by the time they reach Seattle.
Posted by: Eamon Knight | January 29, 2010 12:33 PM
If you can melt your tunnel at 6 mi/day, your tunnel project should take two weeks, max. Why not run it all the way to the lower 48? Did they have to return the borer to the rental store?
Of course, this is no real threat at all, as the folks operating the borer will all be blinded by the J-rays and be unable to make a straight tunnel. (Remember your Frank Herbert.)
Posted by: Tim H | January 29, 2010 12:42 PM
My dad is a conspiracy douche, fortunately from the liberal side, but barely more tolerable. The world is so fucking scary the way it really is, do we really need freaks stockpiling weapons and considering suicide contingencies stressing us out more? Fuck these assholes straight to hell. I wish we did have a thousand gore-clotted guillotines and the legal means to use them on these fuckos.
Posted by: CS Shelton | January 29, 2010 12:46 PM
It seems to involve a naive belief that the rock will just disappear if you melt or vaporize it.
The planet these fruit-bats live on is made of styrofoam (in English that's "polystyrene"); which could be the cause of their confusion on this matter. Either that, or this whole story was cooked up by people who have been working on low-budget movie sets for so long they've forgotten how things work in the real world.
And why are the evil conspirators stockpiling guillotines? Don't they know we've invented more effecient means of killing people since the 1700s? I mean, they can bore through the earth at six miles per day and make all that molten rock disappear, but they haven't got the hang of gas chambers?
Posted by: Raging Bee | January 29, 2010 12:59 PM
Because sharks with lazer beams on their heads turned out to require too much paper work. Even evil conspirators don't want to mess with environmentalists.
Especially considering all the flack they're going to get anyway from vaporizing through all that rock.
Wheels within wheels, my friend. Wheels within wheels...
Posted by: Sastra | January 29, 2010 1:31 PM
And I for one, welcome our new Overlords.
But they're gonna need more troops. they've got 100 million armed rednecks to suppress, even if the saner two thirds of the country collaborate. A few hundred K would hardly be able to pacify New York.
Not to mention the fact that most of their troops will desert on passing the immigration checkpoints in order to become cab drivers and roofing contractors.
Russian tanks will be for sale on every inner-city used car lot in America.
Posted by: longstreet63 | January 29, 2010 1:34 PM
It seems like conspiracy nuts get their perception of physics from watching cartoons. The think that melted rock will just disappear in a cartoonish way when melted, the same way that 9/11 troofers think that a plane crashing into a building will leave a perfectly plane-shaped hole in the wall.
Posted by: catgirl | January 29, 2010 1:37 PM
If we have them all bottled up like that, well:
Traveler, carry this word to the men of Lacedaemon
We who lie here did what they told us to do.
Posted by: Vicki | January 29, 2010 1:42 PM
HA, you dumbb Libturds! If you want to KNOW the REAL TRUITH, REAd THIS!! For Real PATRIOTS Only!!
And it wold only take 18 hundred miles ot track. You LIBTURDS cant even do math. 106,000*90 (how long the box cars are = 954000 feet. Divided by 5,280 (how many feet ar in a mile = 1806.818. Some of the boxcars are only 40! feet long, so it wold take even less. Do you KNOW how many miles of railrod there is in the US??! Huh? Theres 230,000 of track in the US so 1,800 is only less than 1% needed to hide these FEMA DEATH CAMP boxcars!!
Peple have seen them. They have seen the shackels and the guillatines. you wont be LAUGHING when they come for YOU!
Posted by: James Hanley's Tinfoil Hat | January 29, 2010 1:46 PM
They store it in their pants legs and then dispose of it while walking idly around the tunnel entrance.
Posted by: Jojo | January 29, 2010 1:51 PM
Shuffert is...brilliant. This scenario cries out for a film--- faux-1955 b/w, of course, and done by Tim Burton. Neil Patrick Harris must be in it, and probably Johnny Depp. And we'll need Crow T. Robot as the American president and Tom Servo as the hero's sidekick.
It's comforting to know that although Ulick Varange is long dead and Jack Chick decrepit (or maybe dead, too) that America still has the best crazies around. Not even the most eccentric Foreignji can approach *our* crazies.
Posted by: DesertHedgehog | January 29, 2010 1:51 PM
@Tinfoil #51
Fool! Dont you realize that NWO boxcars are metric?
Bwah-ha-Ha!
Sill, seems like shackles are a needless expense when they could just lock the doors. It worked for the Nazis.
I guess it just goes to show that government will spare no expense to ensure the taxpayers' money is spent on inefficient boondoggles.
Posted by: longstreet63 | January 29, 2010 1:52 PM
Ed, ya gotta visit the abovetopsecret forums.
Posted by: Ian | January 29, 2010 1:53 PM
Posted by: WSfield | January 29, 2010 1:53 PM
PEOPLE have seen THEM. They have seen THE random CAPSLOCK and exCLAMation POINTS!! you WON"T be laughing WHEN they shout at YOU!!!
Posted by: Raging Bee's Tinfoil Hat | January 29, 2010 1:53 PM
@James Hanley, in 33:
Several years ago I was called for jury duty. I spent the morning sitting with a roomful of other folks in the same situation. The guy next to me discussed conspiracies the entire time. My 'favorite' involved why you should never take cans or bottles to any return that has the automated counting machines: the government has hidden cameras in them, recording you and what you've been drinking. They keep the information for themselves, to "take" people who are drinking the wrong things.(?) They also sell the information so that advertising can be more effective.
This type of thing went on from 8:30 am until noon. There were no empty seats before lunch. I would put my time listening to a loony from conspiracyhell up against yours any time.
(I wasn't selected for a jury: he and others were called for interview after lunch. I hope he didn't get selected, but I don't know for sure.)
Posted by: dean | January 29, 2010 2:03 PM
A friend sci-fi for free on the internet fan says the rock glazes and forms smooth walls from the intense heat eliminating taking it topside in a bucket the way the "Great Escape" boys had to do it!
An internet icon, perhaps tired of seeing his good name smeared, now says that 9/11 was just a hologram and cites wrong engine deposited in the street and a wrong airliner panel in another street! The actual factual was supposedly controlled demolition and all participants are mum or "silenced."
This guy was placed on a transcript alleging aliens used hydrogen peroxide for "digestion" and other tripe. He says a site has banned him for truthing or dysinformation, depending on perspective.
Most Tin Foil Hat Circuit "experts" generalize so much that nobody can pin them down on anything they say. One,however, "blew so much smoke" that minor internet searching reveals sheer milarky.
Posted by: Laments Dem Virtue | January 29, 2010 2:04 PM
*removes tin foil hat*
*scratches head*
Posted by: JohnV | January 29, 2010 2:07 PM
I wish the conspiracy theorists would calm down. The camps will be lovely, as Baron Rothschild has promised.And everyone will be issued new clothing after leaving the showers.
Er, anyway, I'll be the nice man in the black UN uniform on the other side of the barbed wire, which is strictly for your protection. Just call on me for any issues you may have, such as the names of your friends from the tea parties.
Meantime, there will be plenty of big screen TVs set to Fox News and NASCAR and a special internet just for you to blog on. And plenty of churches and online Bible colleges. Don't worry about your guns. They'll be all around you, and no liberal trigger locks, either.
You can spend all day doing honest work and making your fellow, er, residents comform to all you prejudices by majority vote.
Honestly, I don't see why you'd be complaining. It's what you've been asking for all along.
Posted by: longstreet63 | January 29, 2010 2:08 PM
Dean,
My ride was only 45 minutes, clock time. But in "real" time it was as long as your morning in the jury pool was in clock time. I can only imagine how long it was for you in real time.
Posted by: James Hanley | January 29, 2010 2:42 PM
"And I saw thrones, and they sat on them, and judgment was committed to them. And I saw the souls of those who had been beheaded for their witness to Jesus and for the word of God, who had not worshipped the beast or his image, and had not received his mark on their foreheads or on their hands. And they lived and reigned with Christ for a thousand years." (Revelation 20:4)
This is why there have to be guillotines. What, you don't think we here are the NWO know that bullets are the logistically and fiscally superior way to deal with our opponents? We do. But God is forcing us to do things the hard way.
Posted by: Scott Hanley's secret bunker | January 29, 2010 2:44 PM
Re: James Hanley's Tinfoil Hat
40! feet is something on the order of 8 x 10^47 feet long. The circumference of the Earth is something on the order of 1.5 x 10^8 feet. That boxcar would wrap around the Earth many trillions of times unless of course you use random punctuation for no meaningful reason and didn't really intend to convey a mathematical factorial.
Posted by: James Taylor | January 29, 2010 2:45 PM
The treaty which allowed the Chunnel to be built allows either country to flood it to prevent an invasion.
Posted by: blf | January 29, 2010 3:09 PM
There's no problem with removing the rock. The Horta simply eat it as they tunnel.
Posted by: Taz | January 29, 2010 3:29 PM
Oh, blf...you're allowing facts to ruin a perfectly lovely theory.
Posted by: Shay | January 29, 2010 3:32 PM
Why do these conspiracy whackaloons assume the rest of the world would even want the US?
I mean, aside from building a giant wall visible from space around it to keep the whackaloons in, of course.
Posted by: Interrobang | January 29, 2010 3:32 PM
Obviously, the Russians have been waiting nearly 25 years for Patrick Swayze to die before invading...
Posted by: feralboy12 | January 29, 2010 3:43 PM
Ah, but the ruskies don't know we have a secret weapon, the US Navey will simply turn on the HAARP machine and colapse the tunnel.
Take that you silly commies.
Posted by: Chilidog | January 29, 2010 4:08 PM
It's obviously a lie, because the Russians don't have any alien technology; ony we've got that from those aliens that crashed into the mountains in Colorado, and of course Roswell.
hehehe
Posted by: MadScientist | January 29, 2010 4:40 PM
I find this hard to believe. Surely Queen Sarah would have protected our nation from the communist terrorists, right? Right?!?
Posted by: joel | January 29, 2010 5:06 PM
Conspiracy nuts stress me out. I have thoroughly enjoyed reading all these posts. You people really do make my day. I feel a whole lot better knowing, I am not the only one rolling my eyes and snorting in derision when this kind of bullshit is circulated around the web. I cannot say, how many times I have heard the BS concentration camps. Sometimes they mention actual military bases, with urban combat training areas as the *PROOF!
I also love the way that they callously believe that military members would blindly follow orders to turn on their own citizens that they are sworn to protect and prohibited from policing under the posse commitatus act. {Shrub Jr tried to get rid of that btw} HARP, Tunnels, RFID chips, implants, box cars, concentration camps, death panels, Illuminati, World Wide Satanic Organizations, Jewish Banking Conspiracies, Lizardmen, Vriil, Alien Butt Probes--these people make an honest weirdo like myself look bad. And worst of all, they breed.
Ick!
I honestly do not know how these assholes convince themselves to get out of bed in the morning and accomplish a damn thing. I mean if the end is nigh, and you are just going to chipped, tattooed, stamped, probed and reprogrammed just before you are mated with the Antichrist and guillotined--then what's the point?
I have said it before--these conspiracies which are all tied to the Biblical Apocalyptic weirdness are all signs of mass suicidal ideations--mostly because they run about looking for ways to ensure that this end they dream of will come to pass. Pubescent Goths reading bad teenage suicide poetry seem positively cheerful by comparison, Because for them its just a phase, and not a way of life--or Death as it were.
Posted by: seeing eye chick | January 29, 2010 6:08 PM
I've been told that some areas of the special forces are now exempt from that act, the rationale being that it could "hinder" their efforts in dealing with terrorists inside the country, but found mixed information, some indicating that that was the case at one time but the changes have since been repealed.
Posted by: dean | January 29, 2010 6:18 PM
Pam Shuffert, the house guest who refuses to leave:
http://tinyurl.com/yj5e2fp
Posted by: Dr X | January 29, 2010 7:21 PM
"Red is green, and green is red;
The East's sun rise — the West is dead."
That doggerel was used by a Red Chinese general — the villainess of Battle Beneath the Earth, one of those 1950s B sci-fi movies.
You'll recognize the plot: The People's Army used laser boring machines to tunnel under the Pacific to the West Coast, where they planned to plant H-bombs to blow up the good old USA. Needless to say, an American scientist and his handful of assistants stopped them.
Posted by: Chris Winter | January 29, 2010 7:28 PM
This actually happened! During World War II, the Japanese were boring a tunnel under the Bering Strait to invade America!
Luckily, they were stopped by the Human Torch and the Sub-Mariner.
Posted by: Captain Mike | January 29, 2010 7:36 PM
Drat! I see Pineyman, Chris B, and Tommykey beat me to it.
But ya didn't remember the vital verse, did ya. Ha!
Posted by: Chris Winter | January 29, 2010 7:48 PM
Tim H wrote: "If you can melt your tunnel at 6 mi/day, your tunnel project should take two weeks, max. Why not run it all the way to the lower 48? Did they have to return the borer to the rental store?"
No, they had it for a month. But the previous renter didn't top off the batteries. Those were about to give out, and there was no time to send back for a spare set.
Posted by: Chris Winter | January 29, 2010 7:51 PM
"Queen Sarah" - Reading that, I got a picture of Palin in a Queen Victoria outfit (although perhaps a beauty pageant runner-up outfit is better, maybe the bikini part for the wingnut fapping fantasies), with crossed bandoliers of M60 ammo (again, for wingnut fapping fantasties, now abbreviated WFF), and twin (yes, twin) M60s. Hmm...strap some bazookas on her back (WFF comment "to match the bazookas on her front") and the image will be ...almost complete. American flag bikini perhaps? Nascar-logo'd bandana?
As for the tinfoil hats - doesn't anyone remember the study that showed that tinfoil hats are better at picking up radio waves? What we need is saran-wrap (or glad cling wrap, perhaps) hats. That way they can double as an emergency gas mask. All we have to do is convince the conspiracy theorists to wear them and give the signal for "invisible gas."
Posted by: Badger3k | January 29, 2010 7:56 PM
Hey, Ed - Do you know who Schuffert is ? Chris could tell you some, I could too.
Posted by: Bruce Wilson | January 29, 2010 10:50 PM
Those asking about the prominence of guillotines in this brand of apocalypticist theology may not be familiar with the 1970s movie "A Thief in the Night", that decade's version of Left Behind.
I recall an aunt of mine thinking it was one of the best descriptions of the coming Tribulation ever, including the scenes where Christians and other resisters to a united world were rounded up and beheaded. I think it must have been based on the verse from Revelations noted in #63 above, but seeing it on the movie screen probably made that image sink it more than the verse ever would have.
There's clips of the movie on youtube at http://bit.ly/9FAW9W, but I'm not sure if any contain the guillotine scenes - personally, I have no interest in finding them.
Posted by: Tony | January 29, 2010 10:51 PM
According to my (very dodgy, back-of-an-envelope) calculation:
Cape Dezhnev (66o 4' 34" N 169o 39' 07" W) & Cape Prince of Wales (65o 35' 47" N 128o 05' 05" W) are 89.29918Km (55.48794mi or 48.16972nm) from each other.
At 6mi/day that would take a mere 9 days, 5 hours, 56 Minutes and 8.289 seconds. Assuming you could get rid of the 1600oC lava and you ignore how radioactive the tunnels would be.
O beware of Russians with severe burns and radiation sickness.
They're coming to swamp your health-care system and cause it to collapse from within. See what happens when you don't approve of socialised health-care death panels! :) - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | January 29, 2010 11:48 PM
i love when crazy folks like this make beinga christian seem like being James Bond
Posted by: Vic Vanity | January 30, 2010 12:05 AM
Vic - Christian versions of James Bond are licensed to 'thou shall not kill'. -Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | January 30, 2010 12:46 AM
I wonder if video game creators get their plots from these conspiracy freaks. I mean, a tunnel through the Bering Strait sounds like an opening for another first person shooter.
Posted by: Gyeong Hwa Pak | January 30, 2010 1:15 AM
No, no, no! You are thinking of the movie 'American Pie.'
Posted by: Nigel | January 30, 2010 8:15 PM
Wait! Wait! I've got one:
Some people actually believe that DULY ELECTED SENATORS and CONGRESSMEN can be influenced by these special creatures called, wait for it... LOBBYISTS!
Have you ever heard anything so insane?
In this conspiracy theory, people who run for political office and win can later be told what to do by LOBBYISTS (I have a hard time typing that without laughing). LOBBYISTS (ha! ha!) have some kind of magical mind-control power to make politicians vote against efforts to cut back on greenhouse emissions, or protect kids from cigarettes. In other words, LOBBYISTS (smiley) are more powerful than morals and conscience because they can make politicians vote against policies that actually help people.
LOBBYISTS can also - get this - make politicians spend the taxpayers's hard-earned money on wars, bailouts, wiretaps, unlawful imprisonments, rigged elections, strip mining, clearcutting, road building in the wilderness, and other projects to harm and kill real human beings and (more importantly to the conspiracy theorists) animals and the environment.
What makes this even more of a howler is that the LOBBYISTS work for these organizations called "CORPORATIONS." Now CORPORATIONS aren't like your mom and pop company down the street: CORPORATIONS invented mind control (which they taught to their LOBBYIST minions).
Here's how this is supposed to work: While LOBBYISTS use this magical potion called CAMPAIGN FINANCE to control the politicians (the politicians don't even get to keep the money! They have to spend it on “elections.”), CORPORATIONS can do something even more magical. I don't know if you'll even believe it, but I'll give it a try -
CORPORATIONS can make people BUY THINGS THEY DON'T WANT!
It's actually worse than that. I realize I'm straining the bounds of credulity already, but not only can CORPORATIONS make people buy things they don’t want, they can also MAKE PEOPLE BUY THINGS THAT HURT THEM!
That last bit deserves all OMGs and ELEVENTY ONES you can type, IMO.
I’ll write it again to make sure you understand what these conspiracy theorists claim:
CORPORATIONS MAKE PEOPLE BUY THINGS THAT HURT THEM!
To make this conspiracy theory complete, we’ve got the heroes on one side, called “liberals” and they are defending humanity from the evildoers called “conservatives.” For comic relief, the story includes these people called “libertarians,” who seem to be like those little robots in 1970’s scifi TV shows that keep running to walls and saying “beedee beedee.”
I don’t think anyone could ever make a movie about something as insane as this. Who would watch it? The five people who believe in the LOBBYISTS conspiracy?
I mean, I never even heard of LOBBYISTS before the internet. (Couldn’t they come up with a better name than that?) How many of you have heard of this conspiracy theory? Maybe you did, and forgot it right away because it was so unbelievable.
But I guess the idea is starting to spread. I was watching a comedy on HULU and this guy called “Barack Obama,” (who was playing the role of the President of the United States, btw*) said he’s going to fight the LOBBYISTS. I suppose that means he’s a “liberal.”
Then he yelled at these people in black robes – I guess priests or something – whom he said helped the LOBBYISTS. The folks in black robes must be “conservatives.”
I don’t know. It’s kinda creepy to think some people are so weak-minded they believe stuff like this, but there’s all kinds of people in the world, I guess.
*They really messed up casting that actor as “Barack Obama.” Did anybody see that show? The actor is black. ‘nuff said.
Posted by: Mr. Mxyzptlk (spelling?) | January 30, 2010 11:28 PM
Shuffert is certainly a loon, but there have been serious proposals for a tunnel under the Bering Strait.
I doubt that either Russia or the US is likely to fund such a project, though.
Posted by: OriGuy | January 31, 2010 1:25 AM
Wasn't "A Thousand Gore Clotted Guillotines" on one of Ozzie Osbourne's albums?
Posted by: democommie | January 31, 2010 11:01 AM
"A thousand Gore-clotted guillotines"? How would they divide Gore up enough to clot 1,000 guillotines?
Posted by: 10,000li | January 31, 2010 3:37 PM
I had the best time reading the comments here, made my variety of "crazy" seem normal. I'll have to come back here more often, you people are all so neat, and thanks for the tin foil hat tip (shiny side out), I think I've been doing it wrong and the subliminal messages from tom on myspace were still getting through *giggles*
Posted by: myspacejunkie | January 31, 2010 6:03 PM
check out the dead man musings conspiracy forum!
Posted by: chris | February 1, 2010 12:42 PM
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Posted by: coetsee | February 4, 2010 1:56 AM
A tinfoil hat couldn't realistically shield against anything other than the microwave auditory effect, which is old technology demonstrated to transmit voices to a person's head 35 years ago. Aluminum foil is about 4 mils thick, corresponding to the skin depth for 1 Mhz RF radiation. Individual neurons fire at a maximum of about 500 times per second, so 500 Hertz is the frequency I'd be shielding against with my protective headgear if I were you.
This is a science blog! Sheesh!
Posted by: Jeremy | May 2, 2010 3:55 AM
You are 100% wrong I worked for the DOD. Who you think are running the government are not. As for the military going along with killing Americans. Not so we would never.
Posted by: Ed | July 9, 2010 9:11 PM
And that other thing too - because of it.
Posted by: Taz | July 9, 2010 9:17 PM
A natural disaster of immense global impact is being tracked and anticipated as a real threat by G20 governments. There is no conspiracy for a New World Order, just fact that there will be one post disaster. The auspices of the United Nations is the only legal doctrine that affords planning and cooperation on the necessary scale an as such maybe construed by some as conspiratorial. The resulting chaos, food shortages, security issues have given over to solutions regarding Box cars to move "compassionate resistors" to safe havens, foreign troops to more readily to control local populations and guillotines for "Shaun of the Dead" -type outbreaks.
Posted by: Trans-Meridian PR, LLC | March 13, 2011 1:30 PM