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brayton_headshot_wre_1443.jpg Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of Michigan Citizens for Science and co-founder of The Panda's Thumb. He has written for such publications as The Bard, Skeptic and Reports of the National Center for Science Education, spoken in front of many organizations and conferences, and appeared on nationally syndicated radio shows and on C-SPAN. Ed is also a Fellow with the Center for Independent Media and the host of Declaring Independence, a one hour weekly political talk show on WPRR in Grand Rapids, Michigan.(static)

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Hitchens Revises the Ten Commandments

Posted on: March 16, 2010 9:23 AM, by Ed Brayton

Christopher Hitchens takes a stab at revising the Ten Commandments to make them more relevant and compelling for modern life and I rather like the results.

It's difficult to take oneself with sufficient seriousness to begin any sentence with the words "Thou shalt not." But who cannot summon the confidence to say: Do not condemn people on the basis of their ethnicity or color. Do not ever use people as private property. Despise those who use violence or the threat of it in sexual relations. Hide your face and weep if you dare to harm a child. Do not condemn people for their inborn nature--why would God create so many homosexuals only in order to torture and destroy them? Be aware that you too are an animal and dependent on the web of nature, and think and act accordingly. Do not imagine that you can escape judgment if you rob people with a false prospectus rather than with a knife. Turn off that fucking cell phone--you have no idea how unimportant your call is to us. Denounce all jihadists and crusaders for what they are: psychopathic criminals with ugly delusions. Be willing to renounce any god or any religion if any holy commandments should contradict any of the above. In short: Do not swallow your moral code in tablet form.

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Comments

1

Heh, tablet form. Excellent pun. I'm not big on moral codes. They seem to be more of a distraction than anything. But as far as such things go, it's a pretty good one. At least it's fairly consistent with my values.

Posted by: Abby Normal | March 16, 2010 9:47 AM

2

Christopher Hitchens' points are temporally valid and I think that is the context within which he meant them to be considered. As a preemptive argument, I think to point to others' who've done a better job of creating a list that are more timeless will miss his point - which is denigrating the current Ten Commandments as fatally defective in our time and place. However I do enjoy reading people's lists and how universally valid they are and superior to the Bible's multiple sets.

Perhaps the biggest logical weakness of those that believe that humans were writing the words of God contained within the Bible is that if that were true, than God controlled the framing and had infinite latitude to create a far superior framework for wisdom to be conveyed. Wisdom that would be timeless, more universally applicable, actually worked in practice, and could withstand scrutiny from even elementary-grade critical thinkers. The fact that many of us can easily do create a superior set of admonitions while the god of the Bible fails miserably to do so is perhaps one of the strongest arguments why no god was ever involved, or at least a very bright one.

I don't think Hitchens is worthy of "A team" status when it comes to debates between atheists and religionists. Mainly because I find he lacks the knowledge of history and science to make optimal arguments and like Richard Dawkins, is a bit of a sloppy thinker who makes arguments using points he doesn't fully understand. I think Sam Harris for example provides more bullet-proof arguments that are based on a tighter set of points Harris can easily drown into beyond his initial exposition. However I thought this article was great stuff if we don't extend Mr. Hitchens' new admonitions into an argument they supplant the Ten Commandments, except of the cell phone usage prohibition.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 10:01 AM

3

I'm not sure I like them that much. I mean, they're better than the bible, but how hard is that?

As a comparison, here are the "ten offers of evolutionary humanism" by Michael Schmidt-Salomon:

1) Obey neither foreign nor local "gods", but the ethical ideal of lessening the suffering in the world. If you have science, philosophy and art, you don't need religion.

2) Be fair to your neighbour and to the one furthest away from you. You don't have to love everybody, but respect that every human being has the right to follow his own ideas of a good life and a good death, as long as he doesn't harm another's interests in the same.

3) Don't be afraid of authorities, but be brave enough to use your mind! (Sapere aude, you know)

4) Don't lie, cheat, steal, kill – unless there's no other way to further humanistic ideals. Not lying under the Nazi regime, for example, was unethical.

5) Stop moralizing. "Good" and "Evil" don't exist, but only humans with different interests, conditions and experiences.

6) Don't immunize yourself against criticism.

7) Never be too sure of yourself, but also doubt the doubt itself – our modern knowledge may turn out to be wrong, but you should also stand up for what you believe. Just be open for the better argument so you neither follow dogmatism nor relativism.

8) Don't follow tradition blindly, but use information from all sides before making a decision.

9) Enjoy your life because it probably is the only one you get.

10) Dedicate yourself to a "greater cause", become part of the tradition of those, who want(ed) to make the world a better and more hospitable place.

from here

Posted by: Patrick | March 16, 2010 10:15 AM

4

I just go with the commandments as described by Wil Wheaton. Pretty much covers every angle.

Don't be a dick.

Posted by: Marcus Christian | March 16, 2010 10:26 AM

5

There's a certain irony in Will Wheaton exhorting others to not be dicks.

Posted by: gary l. day | March 16, 2010 10:35 AM

6

Michael Heath: I don't think Hitchens is worthy of "A team" status when it comes to debates between atheists and religionists. Mainly because I find he lacks the knowledge of history and science to make optimal arguments and like Richard Dawkins, is a bit of a sloppy thinker who makes arguments using points he doesn't fully understand.

I am rather tired of people making this assertion and never coming up with a single valid example to back it up. Please support or retract.

Posted by: bullfighter | March 16, 2010 11:03 AM

7

Hard to take Hitchens over Carlin on this one.

Posted by: FishyFred | March 16, 2010 11:07 AM

8

I am rather tired of people making this assertion and never coming up with a single valid example to back it up. Please support or retract.

I am rather tired of people assuming that one must offer citations for every stated opinion in a blog post comment. I think it is pretty clear Michael Heath was giving his subjective impressions of Hitchens.

Posted by: penn | March 16, 2010 11:13 AM

9

bullfighter @ 6:

I am rather tired of people making this assertion and never coming up with a single valid example to back it up. Please support or retract.

Not enough time for a convincing argument nor will I retract merely because I'm unable to defend my position at this time. I will note one of Hitchens' books claiming Thomas Jefferson was an atheist as one illustrative example of his making an argument where it was clear one of the foundations of his argument was not well-understood by him; I concede that one observation alone is insufficient. The point I'm making here isn't merely that he got Jefferson's views on God wrong, it's that he was posing as an expert on Jefferson where he was at best a neophyte coupled to his willingness to buttress his argument with a point that was not valid.

Here's a basic rule I've developed about such posing, with considerable help from DaveL here. My argued rule which is generally presented here and not fine-tuned to Hitchen's argument:

If a person makes an argument using assertions that are not generally accepted and which they haven't validated are true: is it a lie regardless of the veracity of the assertions? Yes, at a minimum the person is lying regardless of the accuracy of their assertions given that they're insinuating to their audience a certain subject(s) expertise they don't possess. At worst if the assertions are not true they're also lying about both the assertions and therefore the validity of their argument.
It should also be noted that if their assertions are not true, the result to their audience is the same regardless of whether they're consciously lying or lying by remaining willfully ignorant on the very assertions they raised.

bullfighter - Actually I'm surprised that people in this forum aren't cognizant of the fact that Hitchens and Dawkins often go down a rhetorical rabbit hole where its difficult for them to dig out. I admire both guys and consider their arguments, but I in no way find them "A team" material in terms of the quality of their arguments. As advocates yes; but that requires a different set of standards where the quality of the argument can be less optimal if other qualities are superior.

A second example is Hitchens' recommendations on improvements to the Ten Commandments we see here. While I don't have a problem with it given the context I framed his article in my previous comment, he does open himself up to criticism when he could have easily foregone such merely by either framing his points better or foregoing his own recommendations if he was too lazy to come up with a more defensible set, these obviously aren't. This sort of sophomoric sloppiness is one you don't see Sam Harris do. I easily predicted he opened himself up and sure enough Patrick @ 3 pounced. I'm a big believer in not providing your opponents ammunition; Dawkins and Hitchens have yet to learn that lesson or don't perceive such failures as critical to their standing.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 11:29 AM

10

Patrick - re my previous comment. I may not have framed my observation of your post well. I realize you're not taking a position on Hitchens in your post, merely noting his list is not high quality within the context of more strenuous efforts by others. That is what I meant to convey and I think your rebuttal to Hitchens' material is a good example of Hitchens' sloppiness, though again, I enjoyed his article and his list within the framework I believe is implied rather than the framework you used.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 11:36 AM

11
“Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful - just stupid).”
Robert A. Heinlein

Posted by: chilidog | March 16, 2010 11:43 AM

12

I can think of two that that should be included:

1. Don't be a hypocrite.
2. Don't consider yourself morally superior than other groups.

Posted by: catgirl | March 16, 2010 11:56 AM

13

@Michael Heath: I hadn't read your comment (I was busy translating, I guess), or maybe I wouldn't even had posted the ten offers. But I do think that if Hitchens goes beyond criticizing the ten commandments and postulating his own, I'd rather he either spends more time honing them or he clarifies that these are ten he "came up with on the spot" as a means of showing how easy it is to do better than the bible.

I mean, even in Hitchens's case I can think of at least one command that should be clarified in a similar way that "thou shalt not steal" should, i.e. there are situations where that might not be so bad.

I have kind of tired to Hitchens, too, because he likes to go for the throat even when none is presented, i.e. sometimes he insists on certain arguments that he clearly brings up every time even when other arguments, or simply refraining from these, would be better. And while he's fun to watch, I don't think he really considers an opponent's arguments as well as he should. There's a reason why in this British debate that made the rounds a short time back, it was Stephen Fry who really impressed, not Hitchens. As for Dawkins, he's a scientist, and sometimes you notice that. I don't like Harris, though I can say the one debate with him I listened to, he was excellent.

Posted by: Patrick | March 16, 2010 12:21 PM

14

When Christopher Hitchens threw his whole-hearted support in favor of the war in Iraq, he lost all claim to moral authority.

Posted by: Don Doumakes | March 16, 2010 12:35 PM

15

@Patrick "Stop moralizing"
How on earth is it possible to lead an ethical life and avoid "moralizing" in some way? Even in this list of commandments, Michael Schmidt-Salomon moralizes against obeying gods, lying, cheating, stealing, immunizing yourself against criticism, being too sure of yourself, etc.

Posted by: Sorcha | March 16, 2010 12:45 PM

16

In roller derby, we call it the "douchebag rule" (as in "Don't be a douchebag").

Posted by: Squiddhartha | March 16, 2010 1:11 PM

17
I don't think Hitchens is worthy of "A team" status when it comes to debates between atheists and religionists.

Depends on the venue. In a long-form scholarly debate, I tend to agree with Michael Heath. If you want someone to go on Fox News for sixty seconds and defend the atheist position, though, Hitchens is your man.

I think it is exactly because of his willingness to fiercely pursue an argument with a weak or poorly-understood foundation that he is able to acquit himself so well in the fast-paced fact-lite world of cable news and other forms of mainstream media. He makes his point fast, furious, and forcefully, with no apologies, no equivocation, and no caveats. He tends to be difficult to take out of context, because each statement (when he's on these types of show) is fully self-contained. There's no nuanced case-building, just raw talking points delivered with passion and fury.

He's also damn entertaining in that context. His appearances on CNN, and later Fox News, in the days following Jerry Falwell's death were epic.

I agree overall though. And some of Hitchens' views on politics are downright disturbing. He's not someone I would look to for enlightenment, or for a bulletproof argument. Just entertainment.

Posted by: James Sweet | March 16, 2010 1:21 PM

18

I also like Dr. Leary's:

Thou shalt not alter thy neighbor's consciousness without his consent.

Thou shalt not prevent thy neighbor from altering his consciousness.

Thou shalt make no other commandments.

Those are specific to mind-altering substances: taken literally and outside that context, they would forbid telling people stories or feeding them when they were hungry and irritable.

Posted by: Vicki | March 16, 2010 1:38 PM

19

Michael Heath "I don't think Hitchens is worthy of "A team" status when it comes to debates between atheists and religionists."
In debates, Hitchens is good when he's operating in his narrow band of "All good morality comes from God/s/-slash-You can't be good without God" polemics. Then all he needs are his twenty or so anecdotes about people behaving badly.
On TV he's good, because his quips and barbs are ideal for that format.

"Mainly because I find he lacks the knowledge of history and science to make optimal arguments..."
I hate to say it, but he's self-righteous and that makes him lazy. I don't think he researched William Lane Craig's arguments at all before he debated him, for instance.
He confuses good (but anecdotal) counters against a specific subset of arguments as refutation of all arguments. Which is why, after the first round, he steadily lost ground (and, irritatingly, repeatedly weaseled his way out of it, unconsciously I think, by attacking arguments Craig wasn't making).
But that's tangential. Probably.
More tangentially, even with Hitchens' weaknesses, most anti-Hitchens worst insult against him appears to be pointing out that he's a (functional) alcoholic.

bullfighter "I am rather tired of people making this assertion and never coming up with a single valid example to back it up. Please support or retract."
I, meanwhile, am rather tired of stairs.

Patrick "There's a reason why in this British debate that made the rounds a short time back, it was Stephen Fry who really impressed, not Hitchens. As for Dawkins, he's a scientist, and sometimes you notice that. I don't like Harris, though I can say the one debate with him I listened to, he was excellent."
The Intelligent Squared debate? Fry was good.

James Sweet "And some of Hitchens' views on politics are downright disturbing. He's not someone I would look to for enlightenment, or for a bulletproof argument. Just entertainment."
He's the kind of guy you want in opposition but not in charge. He's Ron Paul.

Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 16, 2010 3:04 PM

21

Sorcha @ 15: "How on earth is it possible to lead an ethical life and avoid "moralizing" in some way?"

The list Patrick was quoting implicitly defines the word "moralizing" as meaning classifying people into the categories "good" and "evil." This is distinct from classifying ideas as "good" and "bad."

Posted by: Miko | March 16, 2010 3:30 PM

22

I enjoyed the Andrew Sullivan vs. Sam Harris debate best. I liked it because neither guy extended their argument beyond their evidence and neither depended on rhetorical or logical fallacies. So there was hardly any energy wasted discrediting bad arguments due mainly to false assertions, which is my number one gripe regarding conservatives. Harris clearly won but only partly because his side has evidence while Sullivan's lacks any. Both were stellar and I assume if Sullivan chose to take the side contra his position he would do very well. Harris couldn't falsify Sullivan's position because Sullivan didn't extend his argument beyond the evidence, though his only defense was his personal experience interacting with God which is impossible to falsify though also not in any way very compelling.


Harris' tiny book Letter to a Christian Nation devastates the evangelical/fundamentalist argument while also effectively joining their side to effectively ridicule the positions taken most noticeably by John Shelby Spong, Robert Wright, Karen Armstrong, which is a somewhat accommodationist position.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 3:49 PM

23

Michael Heath @9:

You have not done anything to support your original assertions, which were

1. that Hitchens "lacks the knowledge of history and science to make optimal arguments" in debates between atheists and religionists; and

2. that Hitchens and Dawkins are "sloppy thinker[s] who [make] arguments using points [they don't] fully understand".

I think it should be obvious that you cannot support (1) by merely showing that Hitchens doesn't know some historical or scientific fact; you must also show an example where it led to his using a suboptimal argument in a discussion. You are free to consider it ridiculous to write that Jefferson was an atheist (but more about it later), but it is far from clear that such writing hurt Hitchens' position in a debate.

As for the "second example", why his present article on the Ten Commandments would even be an example supporting your assertion is completely unclear.

To support your assertion (2), you have to show that both Hitchens and Dawkins are sloppy thinkers who argue points they don't understand. This assertion has become a cliche among self-appointed critics of Dawkins, and as far as I can tell, every one of them has only proven that they, rather than Dawkins, don't understand what they are talking about.

I am especially puzzled by your comparison of Hitchens and Dawkins to Harris, whose arguments are generally much weaker and based on less knowledge. And I will provide a concrete example: almost all information about Islam that Harris relied on in The End of Faith comes from Bernard Lewis, hardly an unbiased source. (I think Harris has improved since TEOF, and I am more often than not in agreement with him, but I am often unwilling to defend his arguments because they are too weak.)

Finally, the somewhat off-topic bit about Jefferson and atheism. I don't know in what context Hitchens wrote that, but I can imagine contexts in which such a statement can be defensible. It is probably true that most of Jefferson's contemporaries would have considered him an atheist if they had been aware of his beliefs. And one can probably speak of belief in historical context, relative to generally accepted dogma of the time. (An analogy might be one's position on race - e.g. Lincoln was a pretty abhorrent racist by today's standards, but definitely progressive in his time.)

Posted by: bullfighter | March 16, 2010 4:04 PM

24

Michael Heath @22: Really? Sullivan?? I don't remember the contents of the debate, but I remember thinking that Sullivan's arguments were pathetic. Then again, I think Sullivan's arguments are pathetic most of the time.

Posted by: bullfighter | March 16, 2010 4:10 PM

25

bullfighter @ 23 - your entire rebuttal is either an argument from ignorance (your own), where I have absolutely zero desire to inform you, e.g., the extremely well-known Hitchens gaffe on Jefferson (in this forum as least given Ed posted on it), or a misrepresentation of what I previously concluded. Why should I respond to someone who originally demanded I retract a personally held opinion where no compelling evidence argues I should? Especially when Patrick's first comment perfectly validated my observation arguing for Hitchens' intellectual sloppiness.

You want to bring it, fine, bring it; but a demand insisting someone "retract" a mere opinion without providing any reason to do so is not very compelling. In fact it reminds me of the blonde whining everyone should just leave Britany Spears alone.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 4:20 PM

26

Michael Heath "I enjoyed the Andrew Sullivan vs. Sam Harris debate best. I liked it because neither guy extended their argument beyond their evidence and neither depended on rhetorical or logical fallacies."
To be fair, written debate is generally a far higher level of dialogue than verbal, which tends to the reactionary over the thoughtful and canned over researched...and Sullivan, being the opposite of "Standard American Social Conservative" (thinks things through, has some level of empathy even for those with whom he disagrees), is one of the good guys, although I should note that what little I've seen of his is mostly his column (and that Cato link from earlier*).
This is why the American Right either a) ignores him, or b) calls him a "liberal" (which, in NewSpeak, is apparently an insult). That he's British, gay and RC doesn't help.

"...[Sullivan's] only defense was his personal experience interacting with God which is impossible to falsify though also not in any way very compelling."
Harris, I think, has experienced the transcendent. They just credit different sources. As far as disagreements go, Harris and Sullivan arguing is pretty mild. I haven't read their debate in a while (two years, apparently), but I'm remembering picturing a sock-puppet monkey and a teddy bear fighting.


*I especially liked the part when Inspector Clouseau got home.

Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 16, 2010 5:05 PM

27

Michael Heath @25: It appears that either you have temporarily forgotten how to read English, or I, perhaps guided by divine providence, wrote my last few posts in Aramaic.

You describe as my "entire rebuttal" an argument that I consider at best marginally relevant, and I thus relegated it to what was essentially a footnote in my post (and clearly introduced it as such). I have no desire to turn this into an argument about Jefferson's beliefs. What relevance could such an argument have? However, I was curious what that "extremely well-known gaffe" was, so I looked around and found both Ed's post and the Hitchens-Brenner exchange, as well as various reviews of Hitchens' book on Jefferson. And I concluded that Ed rather stretched what Hitchens had written, and you stretched it further, so that "Hitchens' gaffe" is better described as "Heath's misstatement".

Sorry, but I do not accept the explanation that your assertions are merely a "personally held opinion". Especially not when you (gratuitously) added Dawkins to your criticism. It fits too well in the pattern I've seen dozens of times in the press and on blogs - asserting that Dawkins is sloppy or doesn't understand what he attacks, but not providing any reasoned support for the assertion. So even if you came to this line of non-argument spontaneously, you are still acting as a disciple of a dogmatic school - until you start providing actual arguments.

Posted by: bullfighter | March 16, 2010 5:14 PM

28

Modus @ 26:

Harris and Sullivan arguing is pretty mild.

It was; I think due to the fact neither party had to spend much time correcting the false assertions of the other. I enjoyed their debate partly because of that and also because I was learning rather than reliving the constant drama of fisking false assertions on the theist side like we almost always encounter. Of course as I stated earlier, that provided Harris with a distinct advantage because his side has evidence which Sullivan's side does not enjoy.

Re your point about it being written, another reason I even considered it. I lost interest in verbal debates decades ago due to being exposed to far too many Gish Gallops. And in Hitchens' case, I struggle to understand him as does closed-caption software. He's fine in interviews on TV, not so good on a panel.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 16, 2010 11:22 PM

29

Michael Heath "I enjoyed their debate partly because of that and also because I was learning rather than reliving the constant drama of fisking false assertions on the theist side like we almost always encounter."
Again, it's been a while since I read it, but it sounds like both sides actually cared what the other side thinks.

"Re your point about it being written, another reason I even considered it."
There are bad written debates (Lukeprog v Vox Day comes to mind, where Luke started out knowing little if anything about Vox's unique theological bent and Vox, being Vox, acted like Vox. They may have improved as the "conversation" continued, but I lost interest in watching them fall into the rabbit hole of semantics too quickly to care), but I continue to agree that written is a much better format for dialogue, vice dual monologues that happen to share a similar if opposing theme.

"[Hitchens is] fine in interviews on TV, not so good on a panel."
No. Hitchens is great in TV's talking heads format and good, if limited, in panels. He's got a number of prescripted quips and, as long as the other guy is foolish enough to follow his lead, he appears more well-prepared and smarterlike than he really is. Also, in book form, he never seems to use citations (at least with god is not great), which makes him come off as the crabby opinion of one man instead of crabby and journalisty (which, as with much I've written, Firefox insists is not a word). In other words, the less I heard from him, the more I respected him, which really is not how that should go.
Some people are narrow but deep, others wide but shallow, Hitchens' is an odd mix of narrow but shallow but somehow it works anyway as long as he has some control over the reins or he's in a format where his polemic won't be expected to vary and this is somewhat of a run-on sentence so if you read out loud you probably got light-headed a while ago and hit your head on your desk. On an unrelated note, when you wake up your wallet may be missing.
Oh, and someone stole your car.

Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 17, 2010 1:15 AM

30

Modus - Being a helpful kind of person -
..,.,.,...;:
[instructions: sprinkle liberally, if somewhat judiciously though your last sentence.]
Hope that helps - :) Dingo

Posted by: DingoJack | March 17, 2010 2:06 AM

31

Abby Normal:

I'm not big on moral codes. They seem to be more of a distraction than anything.

In the words of Esme Weatherwax, good and evil are of little use to someone with a strong sense of right and wrong.

Posted by: James K | March 17, 2010 2:19 AM

32

Why is it okay for me to have a conversation with a friend in a restaurant or a train, unless that friend happens to be somewhere else and we're using cell phones?

Perhaps the Great American Moralists of our time could explain that one to me.

Posted by: Valhar2000 | March 17, 2010 4:37 AM

33

Valhar2000 asks:

Why is it okay for me to have a conversation with a friend in a restaurant or a train, unless that friend happens to be somewhere else and we're using cell phones?

Perhaps because you talk far louder on your cell phone than you do when talking in person coupled to the staccato bursts of noise experienced by bystanders when someone is talking on a phone rather than two people talking in person.

Posted by: Michael Heath | March 17, 2010 7:17 AM

34

Is using a cell-phone discourteous to others?
Yes. Particularly when:
a) the two people involved in the conversation are not more than 5 feet away from each other
b) the conversation is a extremely loud level relative to the environment. Yes you're on a mobile phone, we're not all that impressed
c) the conversation is loud AND mid-numbingly banal ("Yes I'm pulling into Penshurst station now, the next stop is Hurstville..." or "OK, I'm in aisle three, what kind of tampons do you want?"). Cell-phone users should be aware that flapping you gums isn't gonna cool the atmosphere any

If you can't consider others, don't be surprised when others aren't considerate toward you. -Dingo

Posted by: DingoJack | March 17, 2010 7:59 AM

35

Debates are stupid anyway, who cares.

Posted by: ChrisZ | March 17, 2010 1:00 PM

36

DingoJack "..,.,.,...;: [instructions: sprinkle liberally, if somewhat judiciously though your last sentence.]"
Sure, I could have used those, but then I'd be out twenty bucks (in singles, oddly) and this shiny new 1977 Toyota Tercel with 420,000 miles on it.

ChrisZ "Debates are stupid anyway, who cares."
Don't bring a knife to a gunfight, son.

Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 17, 2010 3:17 PM

37

Many of these boil down to "Be kind."

Posted by: Paul Murray | March 17, 2010 9:30 PM

38

HUTCHENS, IMA LET YOU FINISH, IMA LET YOU FINISH.. DON'T WORRY, IMA LET YOU FINISH!

BUT GEORGE CARLIN HAD THE BEST COMMANDMENTS REVISION OF ALL TIME

OF ALL TIME!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pkRYaMiP4K8

Posted by: Buffoon | March 18, 2010 3:19 PM

39

Just to spice it up a bit..

Whip out your phone for an "emergency call" on a train in Japan and start talking on it (for legitimate reasons.) Lemme know how that goes when you get back to the states.

Also entitled, "How My Blackberry Almost Got My Ass Kicked By 10 Midget Old Ladies."

Posted by: Buffoon | March 19, 2010 1:36 AM

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