Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
The Amazing Randi has made another daring escape, this time from the closet, as he announced to the world this week that he is gay -- at the tender young age of 81. On the one hand, this isn't really notable at all. People come out of the closet all the time, and why should anyone else care about their sexuality in the first place?
But as usual, such announcements reveal far more about society than they do about the individual at issue. Imagine being a gay man born in 1928. Imagine spending your entire life pretending to be something you're not. I'm very happy that Randi has lived long enough to see a society that is beginning to accept him for who he is.
I'm sure some will be tempted to ask what the hell took him so long. After all, he's always been an iconoclast and it's been safe, especially in the circles he exists in, to be out of the closet for many years. After all, the far younger DJ Grothe, president of his foundation, has been openly gay for his entire adult life and no one could care much less about it. I have to admit that was my immediate reaction when I saw it.
But I quickly realized that was the wrong reaction. I think every gay person should be out of the closet. More importantly, I wish it was safe for every gay person to be out of the closet. I look forward to the day when it's not even an issue, where such an announcement would be entirely ho hum -- as this one mostly is.
But I also recognize that it can be a difficult thing for most people too. And here I can only go by the conversations I've had with my gay friends about their experience both before and after coming out of the closet. And they've told me how difficult it can be, how scary it can be even if they have a good support network of understanding people around them. So I'm going to err on the side of being understanding rather than judgmental myself.
I don't know what it's like myself. I can't know. So who am I to tell someone that they should have done something sooner when I'll never have to face the internal and external difficulties they face every day in making such a decision?
All I can say to James is that I'm happy for him. And happy for the rest of us that we still have him.
Politics
Comments
Rock on, Randi!
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | March 23, 2010 12:17 PM
Mr. Randi is indeed Amazing. I wish him health and happiness and that he stays with us for many more years!
thanks for reporting, Ed!
Posted by: VikingMoose | March 23, 2010 12:18 PM
I was also rather perplexed by his having waited 81 years to do this, but, as is the case with you, I cannot tell what constraints he may have been operating under that made him do things this way. Perhaps he thought people would ignore his pro-skepticism message if he revealed his sexual orientation, and decided that the former was more important; perhaps he received such a strong indoctrination in his youth that it took him this long to overcome it; perhaps he just didn't quite feel like it until now.
All these explanations have been proposed, and they all make some sense, but there is no way for me to know. What I do know and can say with confidence is what I said on Randi's own newsletter:
"James Randi was awesome, he is awesome, and I predict he will continue to be awesome for as long as he lives".
And you can take that as coming right from the heart.
Posted by: Valhar2000 | March 23, 2010 12:22 PM
I still think it's reasonable to be puzzled at the timing, though I certainly don't blame Mr. Randi or question his judgment. I'm absolutely certain he had his reasons and as Ed points out, we should always be sensitive to the fact that coming out can be a very painful process.
It's still weird that James Randi, of all people, felt he couldn't come out until 2010. Go figure. I guess that just indicates how far we still have to go? Anyway, good for him!
Posted by: James Sweet | March 23, 2010 12:22 PM
I love good ol' Randi, but I think he went wrong on one point in his article. That's when he uses the words "lifestyle" and "style of living". Those phrases are usually homophobic codewords, and I think they shouldn't be used at all.
Posted by: Christophe Thill | March 23, 2010 12:24 PM
Randi noted that he was prompted by seeing a movie about Harvey Milk.
Milk, remember, urged us all to come out--and, specifically, said that this was a political act, because the more of us are out as gay or bi, the more the rest of the population will think of us as "my cousin Vicki" and "my sister's lawyer" and "the nice guy down the block with the rosebushes" rather than as an amorphous, threatening mass.
Milk also knew that not everyone can come out safely. I don't fault Randi for waiting: I fault the society that made him feel it wasn't safe for most of his life.
Posted by: Vicki | March 23, 2010 12:35 PM
He explained a lot of this in his interview with D.J. Grothe here,
http://forgoodreason.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=595442#
Among other things he explained that he was already out to family and friends and never denied being gay if asked.
Posted by: syliach | March 23, 2010 12:37 PM
I'm sure some will be tempted to ask what the hell took him so long. After all, he's always been an iconoclast and it's been safe, especially in the circles he exists in, to be out of the closet for many years. After all, the far younger DJ Grothe, president of his foundation, has been openly gay for his entire adult life and no one could care much less about it. I have to admit that was my immediate reaction when I saw it.
But I quickly realized that was the wrong reaction. I think every gay person should be out of the closet. More importantly, I wish it was safe for every gay person to be out of the closet. I look forward to the day when it's not even an issue, where such an announcement would be entirely ho hum -- as this one mostly is.
Well said, Ed. I had much the same reaction as you. The only thing I would change is the second paragraph: I think every person should be out of the closet, whether it's she/he is gay, atheist, Republican, or any other socially unacceptable lifestyle (on second thought, maybe the Republicans should stay in the closet because they really are ewwwwww disgusting).
I don't know what it's like (to be gay in the closet) myself. I can't know.
Nor I, but I know what it's been like to be in the closet as an atheist. I remember the machinations I used to go through to hide how I truly felt and the shame I felt while doing it. And to be honest, I'm not 100% out of the closet, either. I don't exactly hide it, but I'm not upfront with it either.
Posted by: foole | March 23, 2010 12:41 PM
In all fairness, many gays stay in the closet simply because they're interested in fashion.
Yea, even I rolled my eyes as I typed that. Suffer.
Personally, one of the biggest obstacles I've faced with coming out hasn't been fear for my safety, or my livelihood, or society's judgment. It's been admitting to my friends and family that I've been deceiving them. To tell people that you've been lying to their face, and about something so fundamental, is damn scary. I have to wonder how they could ever trust me again. Being judged for who I find attractive I can handle no problem. That's all about them. But being judged for being a liar, that hits home.
Posted by: Abby Normal | March 23, 2010 1:01 PM
But I also recognize that it can be a difficult thing for most people too.
I find older gay men and women a lot more skittish then people of my generation (mid thirties) or younger. I think nothing on making a comment about the movie I went to go see with my boyfriend or bringing him along to family or corporate events. While many older gays I know or have talked to are leary, downright afraid, or even a bit bitter. Most of them that I know have only come out in the last 3 to 5 years (while I've never really be in). Personally I find it a tad difficult to relate. If Randi gives more people courage to take the step - more power to them - but they shouldn't be forced to take the step.
Posted by: yoshi | March 23, 2010 1:09 PM
Ed stated:
I watched a documentary recently titled Ring of Fire: The Emile Griffith Story, available via Netflix.
Emile Griffith was a world champion welterweight who was gay, in the closet while champion in 1962, and apparently in denial though associates claimed he was gay. Mr. Griffith's rationale about his avoidance on the issue appeared equivalent to Ellen DeGeneres'. Competitor Benny Paret used a particularly vile Spanish slur, "maricón", to get under Griffith's skin during the last two of their three fights' weigh-ins, all for the world welterweight belt. This was all occurring around 1960 - 1962.
One of the points the movie's producers impressed upon me was that society had no way with dealing with such a revelation. One example they used to illuminate this point was when a New York City newspaper reporter wrote a story up about claims of Mr. Griffith's being a homosexual, his editor changed the word from 'homosexual' to 'unman'.
In that last fight Mr. Griffith knocked out Mr. Paret so severely he went into a coma in the ring and died 10 days later; all on national television. Mr. Griffith wasn't doing anything outside the rules nor did it appear to come out of rage, but instead mere destiny for both fighters. They even had a referee prone to stopping fights earlier than the loser's side would prefer though in this event he just let Griffith whale on Paret and whale he did until it became clear Paret was unconscious.
In Mr. Griffith's defense as well it should be noted that Mr. Paret was a glutton for punishment and took a couple of brutal beatings prior to the aforementioned bout.
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 23, 2010 1:18 PM
Nice post, Ed. And indeed, good on Randi to come out publicly. Despite what many may think, coming out is still a big deal whether you're 18 or 81. Here in San Francisco, it's easy to dismiss coming out in 2010 as just a blip, but a 45 min drive over any of the bridges and you're in Prop 8 country.
And still, I wish Randi had come out publicly earlier. Yes of course, I recognize what the climate was like pre- and post-Stonewall, and that he was advancing a different mission that could have been derailed by detractors. But considering the man's resolve, I think he could have had his cake and eaten it too. And even if he didn't want to be a cheerleader, his visibility would have made him a queerleader (wish I could say I thought that up!)
Posted by: Rick MacPherson | March 23, 2010 1:24 PM
Like you, my first reaction was "whose business is it, anyway?"
And now you remind me: are we part of the problem by taking for granted a narrow slice of the world where "so what?" is the normal reaction?
Posted by: D. C. Sessions | March 23, 2010 1:32 PM
Lately I've been thinking how "coming out" as an atheist is slightly akin to being gay -depending on who you come out to. I have my religious views listed on my facebook page, but I could never casually mention to the parents of my kids' friends that I'm an atheist. It's not really the same - nobody will whisper behind my back - but being an outspoken atheist is possibly more controversial in this society than being a gay rights activist.
Posted by: Dacks | March 23, 2010 1:35 PM
If I was gay and attracted to Randi, and if I met him in a social setting, I don't think I could resist saying, "You know, James, extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence."
Posted by: LJM | March 23, 2010 2:16 PM
I'd say this makes James Randi the real-life Dumbledore, except that Uri Geller isn't much of a Voldemort.
Posted by: Brian X | March 23, 2010 2:44 PM
Abby - that's a tough situation.
I for one, wouldn't think you were deceiving me. It's just too bad that things are (still) like that. You had your reasons, and one thing that friends and family should understand is that when you told them, the timing was right and most comfortable for you. The trust they have in you should extend into the trust in your judgment.
(have been meaning to ask this - Mel Brooks fan? I always think "Young Fronk-n-steen" whenever I see your handle)
respectfully,
David
Posted by: VikingMoose | March 23, 2010 3:04 PM
I figured out that Randi was gay more than twenty years ago, from the coded references used to describe him in a Times Magazine article that described him getting a McArthur "Genius" grant. It should make no difference in how anyone regards this really great guy.
Posted by: Pacal | March 23, 2010 3:31 PM
Abby-
That's an interesting view of things. I can only say that, having had innumerable people I care about "come out" to me in my lifetime, it has never once occurred to me, even for a fleeting moment, to think "Oh man, they've been lying to me." I completely recognize the difficulties anyone has to face in revealing that sort of thing, even to the people they're close to.
Posted by: Ed Brayton | March 23, 2010 3:35 PM
Ed:
Randi makes very clear in the For Good Reason interview that he never, in his entire life, pretended to be straight. He knew he was gay from a young age and would tell anyone who asked.
Abby:
This is more akin to why Randi said he came out. He didn't want to lie, even by omission, to all his readers / fans / supporters / whatever. (Though his friends and family already knew, so your quote is only so analogous.)
Posted by: Flavin | March 23, 2010 4:09 PM
syliach touched on this, but I don't think the reasons Randi came out are because he personally felt the need, at least not fully.
He said he was inspired after he watched Milk. This is very important and telling, I think.
And awesome.
Posted by: marilove | March 23, 2010 4:17 PM
That is an awesome headline.
I hope I live to see the day when everyone feels free to come out, and our only metric for determining the validity of an adult relationship is whether or not the participants like it.
Posted by: Captain Mike | March 23, 2010 4:23 PM
syliach: Important point there. Randi, unlike the vast majority of the population, straight or gay, is a public figure. Do we really want to consider someone "closeted" simply because he hasn't made an official coming-out statement via media channels? Once again, that's a decision that simply isn't relevant for the vast majority of the population (obviously, I'd consider a public figure closeted if he actively pretended to be straight, or hid things (like having a partner) that a straight person in his position wouldn't think twice about sharing with us).
I'm thinking of a parallel to Matthew Mitcham, the Australian Olympic diving champion. He was said to have "come out" when, during an interview before the Olympics, he mentioned some problems getting funding for his partner to come to the Olympics with him. But nobody has any memories of him being actually closeted; anyone who knew him past the age of 14 knew that he was gay, and he knew that they knew.
This is really getting into issues of what privacy means in the Internet era, and there's enough material there for an entire conference.
D.C.: I think your intuition is correct.
Brian: But Peter Popoff makes a good Gilderoy Lockhart.
Abby, Ed: Remember when former NBA player John Amaechi came out a few years ago? Afterwards, LeBron James was interviewed and he made some inarticulate remarks that some interpreted as homophobic. What he actually said is that if one of his teammates came out, there would be some resentment that he had been hiding something. I think there was a bit of youthful naivety there in not realizing how difficult it would be for a current player (most of whom are quite a bit older than James) to do otherwise. Again, I think it goes back to what D.C. said: we may be a bit privileged and as such have unrealistic expectations for others.
Posted by: ebohlman | March 23, 2010 4:24 PM
I blame D.J. Grothe and his nude podcasting.
Joking aside, I am very interested in seeing the JREF expand its skepticism to the pseudoscience used to support homophobia, particularly the dangerous "ex-gay" / "conversion" programs.
Posted by: llewelly | March 23, 2010 4:27 PM
Ed, thank you for your generous article. I must say that just 48 hours after my "coming out" announcement, I've had hundreds of responses, and of all these, only six - count 'em - six! negative ones. Yes, things have changed a lot since I was a kid, and I thank your readers for their understanding and support. I'm particularly happy that some younger gays - of both genders - have written me to say that my "outing" has encouraged them.
And for those who run on about how I've mentioned Sophia Loren from time to time as a raving beauty, please note: I'm gay, not blind...!
James Randi.
Posted by: James Randi | March 23, 2010 4:29 PM
@David VikingMoose
Fronk-n-steen? You're putting me on. Do you also say Froaderick? (Yea, you correctly identified the source of my inspiration.)
Posted by: Abby Normal | March 23, 2010 4:31 PM
I get the impression--from the interview Randi did among other things--that a lot of people of older generations have trouble getting used to the idea that you can publicly come out. They're so used to the idea that "it" isn't something you talk about publicly that even if all their friends know and nobody in their social and even if they've become established in a tolerant professional circle, it doesn't feel quite right to them to make a public announcement.
I imagine it's been years since Randi ever had any anxiety over this beyond the "it's weird wondering if I'll ever be asked this publicly." But I'm glad he did it, because it would have been even more awkward had a friend of his had to out him in a biography published after his death or something.
Posted by: Chris Hallquist | March 23, 2010 4:38 PM
Honestly, I suspect that mere habit--a trait of just about the entire human race--also plays a role in all of this. Just like someone who has spent many years in prison will still be 'institutionalized' in their habits and thinking, many gays who have had to deal with closeting themselves (be it due to having reached puberty before Stonewall, or because they grew up in some hellhole in the Bible Belt) for over a decade may well retain the habits of a closeted gay, long after they could arguably have safely 'come out'. This would likely come into play even among gays who, like Randi, are already 'out' with respect to those closest to them.
So, yeah--good on Randi for overcoming the habits of a lifetime. It's a good thing to remind ourselves that we're capable of that.
Posted by: Freemage | March 23, 2010 4:43 PM
Speaking as a 40 year-old gay man who has been out since he was 19, I have encountered a lot of gay men who are just too "busy" to come out. In other words, they are involved in so many important, all encompassing things that the idea to talk about being gay to anyone other than their personal friends or family just doesn't occur to them, or occur with any deep conviction.
I'm not saying that is the case here, nor that the idea of it being unimportant isn't just an intellectual way of dismissing a very real fear, but like African American's who've never marched for Civil Rights but, never-the-less, have been very involved in teaching or raising a family, it's just not an idea that ever "clicked" with them.
For Randi, I can't help but think Groethe becoming head of his organization prompted him to reconsider things. While not Groethe's primary issue, he's always said that Skepticism and Gay Rights have an overlap, that the issues used to deny gay citizens equality are pretty much based in the same vacuous grounding as creationism or homeopathy.
From talking to Groethe, it's important to "be out" and to challenge ridiculousness in whatever situation it arises. The Amazing One is a smart guy. That's bound to have made an impact.
Posted by: Jody | March 23, 2010 5:00 PM
Abby - awesome :)
Hi Mr. Randi!
Posted by: VikingMoose | March 23, 2010 5:41 PM
"But I quickly realized that was the wrong reaction. I think every gay person should be out of the closet. More importantly, I wish it was safe for every gay person to be out of the closet. I look forward to the day when it's not even an issue, where such an announcement would be entirely ho hum -- as this one mostly is."
Preach it, brother.
I still live in a state--not mississippi--where the recent high-school-cancelling prom instead of letting a gay couple go is reported as "Can you believe two gay girls wanted to ruin the prom for everyone?"
Posted by: steve s | March 23, 2010 7:03 PM
For those wondering why he came out now, it should be obvious that he was running out of time before the end of the world two years from now.
Best wishes Mr. Randi
Posted by: JJN | March 23, 2010 7:37 PM
My first reaction was to want to apologize to James on society's behalf for making him feel that he had to be closeted in the first place.
Posted by: dogmeatib | March 23, 2010 7:43 PM
... therefore Jeebus.
Posted by: Amadan | March 23, 2010 8:31 PM
Best wishes to the great Randi, and congratulations.
and.....AB Normal!! The penny finally drops!
Posted by: zackoz | March 23, 2010 11:30 PM
Loving that, all the celebrity self-outings that come to mind of recent years (Meredith Baxter, Neil Patrick Harris, George Takei) have all seemed to lead to the general response of, "and this is news, how?" And in both the sense that a) it's not super-surprising, esp. to their fans, and b) it doesn't change our opinions of them in their celebrity roles. People love or hate them as much as they did before coming out. Haven't heard a peep of "why are they shoving this down our throats?" version of the "who cares?" mentality in the water-cooler type talk, even in the Georgia/Alabama area
Human faces that are set in our hearts (positively or negatively) don't change much when these revelations come out, though I do tend to find that they reinforce my previous opinion of the person, that's just confirmation bias, I'm sure. (Learning a Cheney was gay = even more gag than just learning that a Cheney exists, learning Sulu was gay = even more mega-awesome.)
Posted by: Djinna | March 24, 2010 12:57 AM
I suppose in many ways, I'm lucky to nave been raised in household where homosexuality was never hushed up but never made a big deal either. If my parents did mention being gay, they did so not as a negative or as a positive. They simply let me know.
On the other hand, and returning to the topic at hand, my blase attitude towards homesxuality has caused me embarrassment. When my childhood friend Thom came out to me (we were about 13-14, I guess) my response was something like "OK, cool. So what do you wanna do today?". While I think it would be a better world if everyone had this reaction, that's just not the case, and I sometimes feel a pang of guilt at trivialising what, to Thom, was quite a big deal and something he would still be anxious about telling his family and other friends.
Ultimately, it's a deeply personal thing to come out in a society that still harbours pockets of homophobic sentiment, and it would be nicer to elicit a response more compassionate than 'oh my god, really?!' and more supportive than 'who cares' from one's friends, family and (in the case of outed celebrities) fans.
Posted by: Mill | March 24, 2010 8:12 AM
James Randi - wow! My dad was born in 1928. You've sure seen a lot of change in the world (and we all hope you see a lot more), oh and - congratulations on your offical comming-out (makes you sound rather like a deb). :)
Djinna - You're so right about George Takei. Who didn't know he was a gay blade in 'The Naked Now'? And who cared?
Abby - "you take the one in red, I'll take the one in the turban"
[/Groucho] - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | March 24, 2010 8:16 AM
I am 47 years old and only recently have I been able to come out fully, not only to others but to myself. Sometimes the worst demons I fought to get over my fears about coming out were ones I had created myself. It didn’t help that I’ve spent most of my life in a somewhat bigoted area of the US. I want to cry with happiness when I hear younger gays act as if coming out is no big deal, which is the way it should be – and I think many of us older gays would have given anything to have felt such acceptance when we were younger. Of course, the case of the Mississippi girl trying to take her girlfriend to the prom shows how far we have yet to go. But we keep fighting. Every person who comes out, whether they’re 12 or 100, is making progress for every other gay person to live their lives openly.
^..^
Posted by: Tigerwolf | March 24, 2010 10:32 AM
Well, when you get right down to it, the fact is the author of the James Randi Voodoo Doll can do no wrong ;)
Posted by: Valhar2000 | March 24, 2010 12:00 PM