Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
As we always do when a major natural disaster hits, we turn to Pat Robertson to tell us what the tectonic plates -- err, I mean God -- were thinking. And wouldn't you know it, God is mad at Chile for not allowing Pinochet to keep killing people there:
Citing what he described as the "the persecution of a great hero who rid their land of Godless communists" as a possible cause, prominent TV evangelist and amateur seismologist Pat Robertson today argued that the 8.8 magnitude of the earthquake that struck Chile early this morning should serve as a warning to the population that "God is even angrier with them than he is with the people of Haiti."
But Pat, the Chilean earthquake was an 8.8 and the Haitian earthquake was a 9.2. And the Haitian quake killed far more people and did far more damage. Wait, I'm expecting this nut to be logically consistent. Never mind. Back to the lunacy:
"If I had to guess, I'd say it must have to do with Chile's persecution and attempted prosecution of their great former leader, and a personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet - who, it should be noted, had never been convicted of a crime when the Lord called him home three years ago." The popular host of 'The 700 Club' and longtime bingo circuit icon also added, "General Pinochet not only assisted the CIA in the overthrow of Chile's Marxist government, but is widely credited with personally arranging the meetings of hundreds, perhaps thousands, of his countrymen with Jesus."
The last part makes me think this might be a parody. But it's still damn funny.
Politics
Comments
The Haitian earthquake was a 7.0. It killed more people because Haiti's infrastructure is much worse than Chile's.
Posted by: Wes | March 6, 2010 9:25 AM
Uhm.. I believe it's called "Satire"
Posted by: Jay | March 6, 2010 9:26 AM
Perhaps God is angry that the right-wing party won the recent elections, after having a socialist woman in charge previously. Maybe that's why Pat hasn't said anything.
Posted by: Greg | March 6, 2010 9:34 AM
Godless Communists: now more than 62 times more evil than Satan! - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | March 6, 2010 9:36 AM
Wes states @ 1:
Actually, I believe Haiti's damage was worse primarily because its epicenter was closer to a population center. Haiti's epicenter was on the edge of Port-Au-Prince while Chile's was 21 miles off-shore. In addition Haiti's quake was far shallower than Chile's.
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 6, 2010 9:51 AM
Gosh, I wish I'd been one of the people who got a personal meeting with Jesus. Then I could have asked him what he thought of Pat Robertson.
Posted by: Ann Klein | March 6, 2010 9:53 AM
I think that when the authors' tags include "satire" "political humour" and "snark," it's fairly safe to call it parody.
Posted by: Jeffrey Kramer | March 6, 2010 9:55 AM
So, in Haiti they did a big Voodoo ceremony in 1791, and Pinochet got arrested by the UK government on charges of murder from the Spanish government in 1998 (ten years after Pinochet lost the presidency by a democratic vote), and God hits Haiti and Chile with earthquakes in 2010... Apparently Robertson's God is very slow and has wonky aim to boot.
Posted by: Raven | March 6, 2010 9:55 AM
Ed, while Robertson certainly deserves condemnation for his comments on Haiti, I just happen to be a stickler for accuracy, and even complete assholes don't deserve to be scorned for things they didn't really say.
That post on salon, as Jeffrey Kramer already pointed out, is tagged with "satire", "political humor", and "snark." So we no longer need to suspect it is a parody, we can state with 100% confidence that it is.
I don't like e-rumors. And when I was debunking a prevalent one about Obama on someone's blog, another (very right wing) commenter agreed and said "there is enough that is actually going on that we don't need to make stuff up." The same applies with Robertson.
Posted by: Jim | March 6, 2010 10:11 AM
When God is angrier about the democratic process than his is about Voodoo, all you can say is: "He works in mysterious ways."
Posted by: Reverend Rodney | March 6, 2010 10:15 AM
You should hear Robinson's set on the Holocaust. Hilarious! [not] - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | March 6, 2010 10:21 AM
Jim's claim @ 9 could very well be correct. Besides correctly noting that this blogger tagged his post as satire, it's not linked to a primary source that validates Mr. Robertson actually making these statements.
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 6, 2010 10:36 AM
Poor God, thwarted by all those building codes...
Posted by: george.w | March 6, 2010 10:51 AM
No pun intended?????
Posted by: Goldbrick4 | March 6, 2010 10:58 AM
Posted by: WSfield | March 6, 2010 11:21 AM
When I first saw a number of different things Pat Robertson alledgedly said a week ago, I was hoping they were true. They were out there enough to be something he would say, but alas, I found nothing to substantiate the comments so I left them alone. Further comments I ran across indicated that they were all hoaxes. What I find disturbing is the fact that all of the outlandish statements(satirical hoaxes)are totally believable coming from Pat Roberson. I think this is a guy with some very deep seated psychological issues.
Posted by: Timothy Davis | March 6, 2010 11:22 AM
I have to agree with PZ Myers on this one: if we don't have Robertson saying it on video, I don't believe it anymore. Not that he isn't scum of the worst order, but it's too easy to pin this sort of thing on Robertson without verification.
Posted by: Paul Lundgren | March 6, 2010 11:33 AM
I want to agree with the Jim above that this was inappropriate for his reasons, but I want to add another one. Robertson IS still around, and still has some listeners, but he's become pretty much of a joke. When the New Religious Right has people like Lou Engel,
Janet Folger Porter (who has, by adding cancer quackery to her collection, almost completed her bingo card of The Crazy -- I don't think she's into UFOs, but give her time) and the truly scary Repent Amarillo, worrying about that Senile Old Babbler -- the initials remain the same -- reminds me of Fundies complaining about the 'decadence' of rock and using as an example Alice Cooper.
Posted by: Prup (aka Jim Benton) | March 6, 2010 11:49 AM
Yeah, Ed, hate to break it to you, but this is parody. I fell for it too, though. Because like the creationists, it's impossible to come up with something so stupid that they wouldn't plausibly say it.
Posted by: steve s | March 6, 2010 11:53 AM
He's probably more angry at the US than any other country right now since we left the values and principles that our founders started this country on. All the sodomy and fornication and marxist pigs spewing their "tolerance" (Godles hatred)around like the filthy pigs they are.
Socialism is being taught in schools. The infamous assface tyrant George Soros funds many of these marxist school programs disguised as "education" when in fact it is re-education, or even indoctrination. HMMM. I wonder where the socialist indoctrination of the youth has been used before? Oh yeah, that little labor union in Germany done that one time. That worked out just fine as I recall.
We have got to stamp out socialism from existance if we are to survive as a civilization. We have got to kill any idea that has marxist roots before it can be spewed by the filth pigs of the far left freaks of nature. We have got to crush this filthy perverted evil leftward movement before God destroys us all - starting with the People's Republic of Califonia, a bastion for communist bastards and freaks.
Look at who funded last week's "education" rally. Communist pigs, that's who.
We need to stamp out and crush anything even remotely tied to George Soros and his axis comrades. Congres needs to ust his money, his policies, his institutions and anything tied to him from the United States and ban his very prescense here forever. He is a very dangerous character. He has too many ties to marxistm to be trusted.
The far left hate movement/ communist/marxist socialist movement must be met with the truth and the truth will free us in the end.
Oh well, one day Jesus will come back an vaporize socialism from existence and marxism will die along with communism and liberalism. All that will be left will be normal freedom loving people.
---------
"Any government powerful enough to give you everything you want is a government powerful enough to take everything you have." Down with tyranny, let freedom ring. Let's go back and re-institute the Constituion as it was written and get away from the modern leftward nonsense. It is making slave out us all and I refuse to live in their hell.
I guess I will be reported to flag@whitehouse.gov for this post. Assholes usually refer to normal people as "right wing extremists" while ignoring left wing communist fanatics hell bent on forcing "change" on people who do not want it and have not asked for it. Jesus, please come back soon and bring 10,000 of your best immortal warriors. Please?
Posted by: Rebel Warrior | March 6, 2010 12:46 PM
Is anybody else having trouble telling the Poes from the douches?
Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 6, 2010 12:50 PM
All of the above. Chile has considerable experience with earthquakes and takes the matter seriously, with quite good building codes, et al. And the location (and, as I recall, type) of the earthquakes was also significant.
Changing gears, please note that at the end, Ed said:
Ed seems to be aware the story is dubious.
Posted by: blf | March 6, 2010 1:12 PM
I mean, come on! Rebel Warrior's post has all these tasty little nuggets of Right Wing apoplexy...
Things that are bad:
::Abandoning idealized past
::Homosex
::Sex
::Marxism
::Tolerance
::SOCIALISM!!
::George Soros
::Public school indoctrination
::Nazis
Then he switches up and goes for jingoism and out-group baiting:
::Manichean battle between "us and them"
::Left-baiting/slagging blue state
Then he re-imagines words, change "words have meaning" to "words have no meaning anymore""
::Saving freedom by banning another's freedom
::Conflation of "not me" with "hate group"
Religion as revenge fantasy:
::Jesus Avenger/Jesus Capitalist, destroyer of everything defined as "not me"
Back to "words have no meaning":
::Conflation of not "me" with not "normal freedom loving people"
::Confusing State with Democratic Party [nominally] in charge with "tyranny".
Then on to idealized past:
::Idealized "originalist Constitution"/literalist Constitution-based view*
Back to "words have no meaning":
::Conflation of "Left" with "slavery"
Forgot to take his meds:
::(More) paranoia about government
And, lastly, potpourri:
::Denial of right wing extremism as extremism
::Grossly over-stating the power of the "left wing communists"/confusing "democracy" with "having change forced on you".
::Prayer to a vengeful war God.
I don't know what Rightwing Bingo card that fills, but it certainly fills it up, if anybody's got it.
* Welcome back, "well regulated militia". You've been living in the shadow of the rest of the 2nd Amendment for far too long, thanks to those liberalactivistjudges (which is all one word now. Update your dictionaries, Liberals!)
Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 6, 2010 1:19 PM
@ 'randi: you omitted one in the category of "Words that have changed/no meanings:" "rebel," as in "one who diligently and ardently echoes the sound bites of the right-wing populist punditocracy and fundamentalist Christian establishment."
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | March 6, 2010 1:40 PM
But McCain's a maverick and Palin's gone rogue!
Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 6, 2010 1:44 PM
As a resident of the Midwest, I'm waiting for Pat to explain what it is that God has against trailer parks. It seems that every year he visits a terrible wind upon at least one. He even dropped wreckage from AA 191 in Chicago on a mobile home park, killing several of the residents. Something evil must be going on in those parks.
Posted by: Dr X | March 6, 2010 2:08 PM
you made this up. Right??? unbelievable
Posted by: Pam Ronald | March 6, 2010 2:19 PM
Dr. X @ 26:
Back when Jerry Springer was broadcasting his show I always figured God was trying to help out his old bud Pat by taking a couple out of year in order to help Pat's ratings differential relative to Springer's.
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 6, 2010 2:22 PM
Hmmm, using the rehetoric of violent revolution, claiming to represent ordinary working people against an out of touch elite. Yep, someone round here sounds like a marxist and that someone is Rebel Warrior.
Posted by: Matty | March 6, 2010 2:33 PM
@ Greg (Comment 3)
"Perhaps God is angry that the right-wing party won the recent elections, after having a socialist woman in charge previously"
Then It is too tempting to not be said: It certainly "proves" (if one follows Robertson's logic) that God is a radical socialist and feminist. Oh, and Welfare State French translation is "l'état providence", so God is probably French as well. Then of course, the economic meltdown is obviously God's punishment because the "french socialist" John Kerry was not elected in 2004: Repent America, Repent! and nationalize Healthcare, for HE demands its
You know, I understand why there are so many people spewing nonsense in the name of God, this is soooo much fun.
Posted by: Laurent Weppe | March 6, 2010 2:36 PM
Haiti suffered more damage because its a broken down armpit of a third world country with crap for infrastructure.
Chile is pretty much first world with solid infrastructure, most of which is built to withstand earthquakes.
Posted by: Juice | March 6, 2010 3:16 PM
I never understood the charge "godless". Godless means without God. It's all or nothing. So if I'm godless, so are Ann Coulter and Pat Robertson.
Posted by: Carter Furay | March 6, 2010 8:15 PM
haiti was a 7.0 not 9.2
Posted by: mj | March 6, 2010 8:28 PM
Posted by: James Hanley | March 6, 2010 9:32 PM
Dang! I lost! I was betting on one of:
- pact with the devil
- teh gayz
Where the hell did he pull Pinochet from? (Well, if there were a hell the answer to that would be hell, of course.)
Posted by: MadScientist | March 7, 2010 1:45 AM
Hell? No MadScientist, Pat certainly has an ass, and from crevices deep within, he drags forth his deranged rants. - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | March 7, 2010 5:56 AM
I address the real reason why Chile was hit by an earthquake below:
http://anexerciseinfutility.blogspot.com/2010/02/god-loves-barack-obama-and-hates-chile.html
In summary, two words, Michelle Bachelet.
Posted by: Tommykey | March 7, 2010 8:51 AM
The Chile quote is pseudo-Robertson:
Posted by: Bartholomew | March 8, 2010 3:41 AM
The blog entry is tagged as "satire"...I believe it's unlikely to be genuine.
Posted by: Merle | March 8, 2010 9:26 AM