Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
I got several good laughs out of this article, wherein the "chief exorcist" -- apparently they think Ghostbusters is a documentary -- says that the devil himself has infiltrated the Vatican:
Sex abuse scandals in the Roman Catholic Church are proof that that "the Devil is at work inside the Vatican", according to the Holy See's chief exorcist.Father Gabriele Amorth, 85, who has been the Vatican's chief exorcist for 25 years and says he has dealt with 70,000 cases of demonic possession, said that the consequences of satanic infiltration included power struggles at the Vatican as well as "cardinals who do not believe in Jesus, and bishops who are linked to the Demon".
Cue the spooky music.
He added: "When one speaks of 'the smoke of Satan' [a phrase coined by Pope Paul VI in 1972] in the holy rooms, it is all true - including these latest stories of violence and paedophilia."He claimed that another example of satanic behaviour was the Vatican "cover-up" over the deaths in 1998 of Alois Estermann, the then commander of the Swiss Guard, his wife and Corporal Cedric Tornay, a Swiss Guard, who were all found shot dead. "They covered up everything immediately," he said. "Here one sees the rot".
Well then, this rot must go all the way to the top given the current Pope's role in covering up the church's problem with priests raping children. That must mean the Pope himself is controlled by Satan. Texe Marrs will be so happy to have this confirmed for him.
Of course, all of this is nonsense. No one in the Vatican is possessed by any spirit, holy or demonic.
Father Amorth told La Repubblica that the devil was "pure spirit, invisible. But he manifests himself with blasphemies and afflictions in the person he possesses. He can remain hidden, or speak in different languages, transform himself or appear to be agreeable. At times he makes fun of me."
What a coincidence. I make fun of you too. You're 85 years old; you should have stopped believing in the boogeyman by at least the time World War II started.
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Comments
To be fair, the devil is at least as much in the Vatican as he is anywhere else.
Posted by: Nils Ross | March 15, 2010 9:35 AM
I would say Supernatural instead of Ghostbusters, because, after all, the former depicts demons as columns of smoke. But that's just quibbling, of course.
Oh, and it's just as fictional.
Posted by: Shawn Smith | March 15, 2010 9:44 AM
I don't think it's believeing in the boogeyman, as much as a way of averting attention from the fact that men who are prone to abusing their authority for their pleasure or gain gravitate towards the Church because it gives them authority over people and children which they can abuse and will not prosecute them if they indeed do so. That's why it is necessary to insist on the fact that there's nothing wrong with the Church, and nothing in itself is wrong with the kind of people who might gravitate towards a career in the Church, but that all the wrongness is brought in by outside influences, via evil spirits and the devil.
Posted by: a sane person | March 15, 2010 9:50 AM
To be more generous, let's say he's been exorcising demons for 60 years (he is 85, after all). That's only 1166 per year, or about 3 per day (every day, including Sundays, for 60 years--and I'm sure he gets vacation once in a while).
This is just about as plausible as Wilt Chamberlain's claim to have schtupped 10,000 women.
Posted by: James Hanley | March 15, 2010 9:52 AM
With that much satan, maybe the vatican could be converted to a prison.
Posted by: MikeMa | March 15, 2010 10:04 AM
James - he doesn't exorcise them all *himself* - I'm sure he has an army of underlings who handle that.
I was thinking more that he should announce his resignation as the chief exorcist - he has completely failed at his job if he's allowed demons into the Vatican!
cheers all-
E
Posted by: Eric | March 15, 2010 10:21 AM
So lemme see if I got this straight...the Church is necessary to help all of us keep the Devil out of our lives; but they can't even keep the Devil out of their own schools and top leadership? Even taking this carny-clown's word on its own terms, this is an admission of monumental failure and uselessness by the Church.
So now our wunnerful new Pope has a choice: either deny the Devil story and admit that his infallible Church isn't; or go whole-hog into superstition, willful ignorance and backwardness, and try to cobble up some rationalization to explain why it means we all have to support the Church, rather than ridicule it and hold it accountable for its abysmal failings.
Posted by: Raging Bee | March 15, 2010 10:38 AM
Well, maybe he could exorcise 70,000 demons if he did them in groups. You know, like in an exorcise class. The fact that he has lived to the age of 85 makes it likely that he is an avid exorcisor. Maybe he should come up with a DVD. The next great work-out fad, and all that.
Posted by: Tim H | March 15, 2010 10:47 AM
Raging Bee's and Tim H's comments @ 7 & 8 are perfectly complementary and illustrative regarding why I love this forum.
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 15, 2010 10:52 AM
Seems to me the problem isn't that the Devil went down to vatican city so much as he's going down on vatican city.
And they can't get enough.
Posted by: Rasputin | March 15, 2010 10:53 AM
Did you get to the part where he said Harry Potter was the work of Satan?
Posted by: Shygetz | March 15, 2010 11:08 AM
He's wrong Shygetz. Harry Potter is the copyrighted work of J. K. Rowling. The UK court says so every time she defends it.
Maybe copyrights are the work of the devil? Or the UK courts?
Posted by: MikeMa | March 15, 2010 11:26 AM
This is tangential, but it reminds me of one very strange Sunday school teacher I had as a teenager. She insisted that if we ever accomplish anything good, we must give credit to God instead of ourselves, which means we can't copyright or patent anything because it's too prideful. I wasn't Catholic though so it's probably not relevant.
Posted by: catgirl | March 15, 2010 11:42 AM
My esteem for the College of Cardinals has just increased exponentially.
Posted by: Lance | March 15, 2010 11:47 AM
Am I the only one who had to look up the reference in the post title?
The Devil Went Down to Georgia
Posted by: Ivan | March 15, 2010 12:10 PM
James, you're forgetting that it's not necessarily one demon:one person. In one incident, Jesus cast out enough of the vexatious little critters to infect a herd of 2000 pigs. Then he put lipstick on the pigs and created the first Sarah Palin fans.
Posted by: Scott Hanley | March 15, 2010 12:12 PM
Mr. Heath, I second the motion, it is so entered into record.
Now this is just a krazy atheist talking, but what do you think would happen if we got a new pope who just came out and said it: there's no fucking devil, you god-walloping jackasses (translated to less harsh language and probably into Italian). Seriously, just admit it. The "Devil" is a literary device to represent the evil things people do, as well as the indifference to that evil. Stop blaming rock music, videogames, movies, and everything else, just recognize that we live in a complicated world where people take advantage of each other. No evil forces controlling your mind, only temptation and the drive to do something that's in your favor but not in your fellow man's favor. So stop being assholes and do some more good in the world, and maybe the Catholic reputation could be repaired a bit. It'd be cool to see that message delivered from the Vatican's balcony.
And as long as I'm wishing I'd like a solid gold toilet and a pony.
Posted by: Rob Monkey | March 15, 2010 12:20 PM
"The Devil made me do it! It's not my fault!"
News flash: Humans are plenty nasty beings by themselves already without Satan egging them on. To be fair to the man, maybe he's just a really canny guy who realizes that he'd be out a job if he doesn't help pin the blame on the Devil, the Catholics' favorite whipping boy.
Posted by: axilet | March 15, 2010 1:21 PM
Amorth not only had time for all those exorcisms, he had time to write about it.
He's got (at least) 2 books out; pretty thin physically, full of pretty thin (and amusing/pathetic) anecdotes. He does reveal himself to be of the ilk that things like ouija boards and dressing up at Halloween open one up to demonic influence.
Posted by: Uncle Glenny | March 15, 2010 1:42 PM
Lance "My esteem for the College of Cardinals has just increased exponentially."
Really? The only "good" part of a fraudster is they switch to something else when it becomes unprofitable.
Posted by: Modusoperandi | March 15, 2010 1:48 PM
The devils I know would never take possession of a human, they worry about never getting the evil to wash off.
Posted by: Pinky | March 15, 2010 3:03 PM
"Well, maybe he could exorcise 70,000 demons if he did them in groups. You know, like in an exorcise class. The fact that he has lived to the age of 85 makes it likely that he is an avid exorcisor. Maybe he should come up with a DVD. The next great work-out fad, and all that.
Posted by: Tim H"
"Buns of Brimstone"
"Flaming Glutes"
Yeah, it could work.
Posted by: Rob Jase | March 15, 2010 3:11 PM
Soo ... they are going to go with 'The Devil made me do it' as their defense.
I guess it was to be expected. It was either that or the "Wookie defense".
Posted by: Art | March 15, 2010 3:34 PM
With his talk of the smoke of Satan and demonic influence in upper levels of the Catholic Church and his complaints about new rituals, he sounds like an anti-Vatican-II type.
Posted by: Ace of Sevens | March 15, 2010 4:45 PM
Here's Christopher Hitchens tearing Joe the rat a new one.
http://www.slate.com/id/2247861/
Posted by: SLC | March 15, 2010 6:59 PM
About the same number required to keep some floridly psychotic persons from hurting themselves or others.
Posted by: Dr X | March 15, 2010 9:19 PM
@Art
Chewbacca defense. Get it right. :^P
Also, it's spelled wookiee.
Ye gods, I'm a dork.
Posted by: Ivan | March 15, 2010 9:36 PM
I saw Lon Chaney
Walkin with the Pope.
Werewolves of Vatican again.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | March 15, 2010 9:37 PM
And what was sanely stated in #3 I heartily second. Thanks, person.
One of the messages of Christianity (in most of its manifold presumptions) is that with the power of god bestowed by the blood of jesus the disciple can proceed with previously unknown confidence, with the assurance, even the imprimatur of the most high. With such a backfield everyone's a star quarterback moving their humble lives up the muddy field of life. Grinding out the short yardage with inspiration and commitment and throwing deep up the middle with nothing but faith to guide the ball.
Heady stuff, I assure you. And I'm not even a big foot ball fan. But this is the sort of thing that was taught to me once with all the fervor and intensity of a college coach before the big game.
Scary. Challenging. Intriguing.
Posted by: Crudely Wrott | March 15, 2010 9:53 PM
The smoke of Satan? Maybe someone farted.
Posted by: Paul Murray | March 16, 2010 1:34 AM
Tim H, you just made my day
Posted by: Scaryduck | March 16, 2010 6:20 AM
They don't need exorcists, they just need better fiddle players...
Posted by: Dunc | March 16, 2010 6:57 AM
If the job of the "chief exorcist" is anything like "Supernatural" it could be really cool...can I sign up or do they only recruit internally?
Do they bring in outside consultants when the chief exorcist has the flu, and what do they earn by hour? Most important, how strict are their rules about succubi?
Regarding the kiddy-fiddler problem, South Park outlined the solution to that years ago (I did not know that the Church gets its advice from a spider-like alien entity. I would not have believed it if I had not seen it on television).
Posted by: Birger Johansson | March 16, 2010 8:19 AM
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist. Although, convincing Ed that he's intelligent and that powdered jelly dough nuts form the base of the food pyramid was pretty neat, too.
Robert O'Brien
Posted by: Some Guy | March 17, 2010 10:40 AM