Ed Brayton is a journalist, commentator and speaker. He is the co-founder and president of 
Hold on to your hats, folks. The Worldnutdaily, which has been a central clearinghouse of "war on Christmas" bullshit, has now declared their own war on Easter. Joe Kovacs, the executive news editor for the Worldnutdaily, has a column declaring that Easter is a pagan holiday that should not be celebrated by Christmas.
Most Christians, whether knowingly or unknowingly, violate this very first commandment of God each year by placing before God the actual name of a pagan goddess of fertility and the dawn.In case you haven't figured it out by now, her name is - believe it or not - "Easter."
That's correct, folks. The word Easter is actually the name of an ancient, heathen goddess who represents fertility, springtime and the dawn.
Some of her symbols are flowers, bunnies, eggs, the sun and the moon. Who'da thunk?
He's right, of course. Easter is a pagan fertility festival that was coopted by Christians centuries ago. But the same thing is true of Christmas (one of the reasons why the Puritans made it a crime to celebrate Christmas in the early days of the American colonies) and the Worldnutdaily is one of the loudest voices denouncing the entirely mythical "war on Christmas" every year.
I can't wait for Matt Staver and the American Family Association to condemn the Worldnutdaily for their vile attack on a venerated Christian holiday. Nah, that's not likely to happen. The real threat, as everyone knows, is a store clerk saying "happy holidays" to someone whose religion they don't know; merely calling a Christian holiday satanic and pagan, that's perfectly fine.
But here's my favorite part:
While Easter may sound like a pretty word, just look again in that list above at some of the terms God associates with Easter and her customs: "corruption," "sin," "abomination" and "evil."And here's a Bible newsflash for you. We're not even supposed to be saying the E-word.
Crack open your own Bible and read it for yourself:
* "Make no mention of the name of other gods, neither let it be heard out of thy mouth." (Exodus 23:13)
Joe Kovacs just wrote an entire column talking about a pagan god -- and then cites the Bible saying he's violating God's law by even mentioning her name. Hilarious.
Politics
Comments
Easter is now 100% cooler!
Posted by: Anyong | March 23, 2010 9:28 AM
There aren't enough facepalms on the planet....
fusilier
James 2:24
Posted by: fusilier | March 23, 2010 9:28 AM
Its the War on Xmas, the Culture War, Prayer Warriors, and now the War on Easter. If you really want to piss them off refer to it as Oestre or Ostara next time you converse with them.
All this war. All this militancy. It wears me out just watching them posture continuously.
That they feel the need to declare war on everyone and everything lets us all know just how tiny and fearful their world is, in reality.
They have nothing to fear from other religions honestly. They have never gotten over the fact that its no longer allowable to burn other adherents at the stake or stone them to death in the streets. Just like many have never forgiven us for passing laws making the lynching of minorities illegal and actually prosecuting perpetrators of such crimes.
Its just more Sheet wearing bullshit. I am sure soon it will be the War on Groundhog Day or the War on International Pirate Day, the War on Ziggy Calendars, the War on Pantyhose, or gods only know what they will come up with next. These are sad, desperate little people who are emtionally immature and perhaps even cognitively defective.
Posted by: Seeing Eye Chick | March 23, 2010 9:32 AM
No one is to stone anyone until I blow this whistle! Do you understand?! Even, and I want to make this absolutely clear, even if they do say 'Easter'!
Posted by: Dunc | March 23, 2010 9:36 AM
So even in his sanctimony, he can't help being bigoted in his ethnocentrism. "Easter" in all its forms is used only in the Germanic languages. The Romance languages all use a form of the word Passover and the Slavic languages use forms of the words Great Day.
If you speak Spanish, his entire argument collapses!
Posted by: NYmaxwell | March 23, 2010 9:44 AM
Jehova! Jehova! Jeh...
Seriously: what's with the magical thinking? Are these people allowed to, say, go to Athens? Shoulder Herculean tasks? Read their bloody bibles (e.g. Judges 8:33)?
Posted by: Alexander Ploner | March 23, 2010 9:44 AM
If I recall correctly, isn't this the root for the word "oestrogen" (/estrogen if you're American ;-) ) too?
D
Posted by: David W | March 23, 2010 9:48 AM
Hey, what's Christianity without a war, on something? When you believe in a spiteful god life is empty without hate.
And thanks for that quote from Exodus! To think, saying "Easter" is sinful. "Easter, Easter, Easter!" Woohoo!
Posted by: Reverend Rodney | March 23, 2010 9:48 AM
By the way, does this mean that they believe that Easter was a real goddess?
Does this mean there is more than one deity?
D
Posted by: David W | March 23, 2010 9:50 AM
If Christians aren't supposed to mention the names of other gods, I suppose they are going to have to stop saying "Tuesday", "Wednesday", "Thursday", "Friday", and "Saturday". And then there's "January", "May", and possibly other months.
Posted by: Drew Smith | March 23, 2010 9:50 AM
So,
No biting off the heads of chocolate bunnies or munching on delicious cadbury eggs then?
Tezcatli....oh wait...dang!
Posted by: Tezcatlipoca | March 23, 2010 9:51 AM
"Make no mention of the name of other gods..."
Question for bible scholars:
I'm aware of Jahweh's repeated rants about being number one. Is there anything in be Bible where the existence of other gods is actually denied? It seems, rather, that the existence of other gods is repeatedly acknowledged by all of the admonitions to turn away from them.
~~~
Now how am I supposed to sell all the do it (to) yourself crucifixion kits I have in stock? Blatant interference with capitalism, if you asked me. Next thing you know, I'll wind up stuck with a warehouse full of Crispy Christ Crackers because of some silly notion that cannibalism is pagan.
Posted by: doug w | March 23, 2010 9:58 AM
Let's hope he's not driving around in a Saturn, in the district of Columbia, wearing Nike shoes and noshing on a Mars bar.
Posted by: chilidog | March 23, 2010 9:58 AM
Oestre is a misspelling of the Old English Eostre (also spelled Eastre), first recorded in the 8th century by Bede in his account of the pagan English calendar. He says that the fourth month was named for goddess Eostre and that became the name for the Paschal celebration. Bede does not otherwise describe Eostre.
Ostara is primary a reconstruction by Jacob Grimm in 1882 from the Old High German name for the holiday.
If you want to mess with peoples minds some more, point out that most languages use variations of Paschal for the name of the holiday. English and German (Ostern) are outliers in the name game.
Posted by: The bug guy | March 23, 2010 10:01 AM
I always liked how the bunnies poop chocolate eggs and we get to eat them.. just like real bunnies do....
and how there are only baby chicks and no grownup chickens or roosters.
and.. how the secret of making hollow bunnies was stolen! and Lindt sued the meanies..
Posted by: Kevin (NYC) | March 23, 2010 10:14 AM
"First they ignore you, then they ridicule you, then they fight you, then you win." Ghandi...
We're in the "fighting" stage.
Posted by: Kevin | March 23, 2010 10:17 AM
Whoa, wait, does that mean God ADMITTED to the existence of other Gods?
Posted by: Reverend Rodney | March 23, 2010 10:24 AM
In the spirit of -- if you'll pardon the expression -- Christian charity, there might be a case for calling "Easter" something else, but isn't the alleged event celebrated on Easter Sunday kind of the whole point of Christianity?
Posted by: CJColucci | March 23, 2010 10:27 AM
Elsewhere in the column he says, "Jesus Christ, is alive on His heavenly throne after spending three days and three nights completely dead."
Nope. Even the Bibull says Jesus spent a small part of one day, one full night, one full day, another full night, and a tiny smidgen of the next day (assuming he resurrected himself at dawn) dead.
So he spent about 1 1/4 days and two nights dead. Allegedly.
Posted by: Adrienne | March 23, 2010 10:28 AM
Elsewhere in the column he says, "Jesus Christ, is alive on His heavenly throne after spending three days and three nights completely dead."
As opposed to being just "Mostly Dead," a condition that Miracle Max can help you with, even if the King's no-good son just fired him.
Posted by: dave | March 23, 2010 10:33 AM
Oh yeah, Yahweh is likely an amalgamation of some of the Babylonian deities, especially El, the highest god, with some of the powers of Baal and Ashura. At some point before they chose to follow a single god, the Hebrew people were polytheists.
But Easter is named after Oestre? I thought it was named after Hastur. And I don't mean the Lovecraftian Hastur that comes to get you if you say his name three times, but the Babylonian Hastur who was AAARGH!
Posted by: RobsterFCD | March 23, 2010 10:39 AM
I like to point out that, technically, Jesus committed suicide, because he set himself up and did nothing to stop being killed.
and he is also a murderer, since he is also his father who ordered him to commit suicide.
makes the xtians ears smoke...
Posted by: Kevin (NYC) | March 23, 2010 10:41 AM
HAHA! Hmm, I wonder what they'll think of the Old Testament once they realize that Esther and Oestre mean pretty much the same thing.
Posted by: Julian | March 23, 2010 10:45 AM
All of the Christian holidays are based on Pagan or other traditional holidays. They have a history of converting societies by letting them practice their own holidays and claiming that they're actually celebrating a Christian holiday. It happened with Christmas and Easter, and Halloween in a lot of countries, and now they're trying to do it with Thanksgiving and even the 4th of July.
This is exactly the reason that I continue to celebrate Christmas and Easter even though I'm agnostic, and I intend to always celebrate them even if I become and atheist. They have no more right to those holidays than I do.
Posted by: catgirl | March 23, 2010 10:47 AM
Yeah, pretty much. It also interesting that Christianity has changed from believing in many devils and demons to just one Satan. The various evil powers in the Bible weren't originally meant to be different manifestations of the same devil, but distinct evil entities.
Posted by: catgirl | March 23, 2010 10:50 AM
I refer to Easter as Zombie Jesus Day. =)
of course, good friday is Dead Jew on a Stick Day.
I'm a baaaaaad man. >:-)
Posted by: FastLane | March 23, 2010 10:52 AM
He should have written the whole article like this: "We must ban the holiday celebrating he/she WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED." It would be like reading a Harry Potter novel, except less entertaining (well, less deliberately entertaining).
Posted by: plutosdad | March 23, 2010 10:54 AM
Robster: The more likely derivation is Ishtar, though calling it a derivation isn't really accurate considering that both names refer to the same goddess.
I think Hastur was invented by Lovecraft btw. The name is likely based on Ishtar though.
The bug guy: I was under the impression that the Romans practiced a very similar holiday dedicated to a very similarly named goddess.
Posted by: Julian | March 23, 2010 10:59 AM
"The Romance languages all use a form of the word Passover and the Slavic languages use forms of the words Great Day."
Russian and Ukrainian use the word 'paskha' which comes ultimately from old Hebrew 'pesakh' which means 'origin/descent'.
Posted by: Alex Besogonov | March 23, 2010 11:05 AM
The word Easter is actually the name of an ancient, heathen goddess...
No she's not, she's German!
Posted by: Thony C. | March 23, 2010 11:10 AM
That's correct, folks. The word Easter is actually the name of an ancient, heathen goddess who represents fertility, springtime and the dawn.
The name is Ostara, shit-for-brains. Bloody Hell, these people have an amazing capacity for being wrong even when they're right.
Posted by: Raging Bee | March 23, 2010 11:17 AM
FWIW: http://www.religioustolerance.org/easter7.htm
Seems that some derevation of Pesach is the most common, which makes sense. But there are some interesting outliers: Armenian's Zatik, meaning seperation, and I rather like Estonian and Hungarian which mean "Taking meat." Thats a holiday I can get behind.
Posted by: Dave | March 23, 2010 11:18 AM
@21 RobsterFCD
Lovecraftian horror? I thought Hastur and his associate Ligur were Dukes of Hell. Which makes one wonder how the former got a Christian holiday named after himself, really.
Posted by: snurp | March 23, 2010 11:28 AM
You better watch your step, Kovacs.
It's one thing to pick on some limp-wristed turn-the-other-cheek hippie dude.
But Ishtar's been around a lot longer, she don't put up with no crap, and her boyfriend Marduk (aka "Mordecai") really likes to show off by whacking on punks.
And she's already in your book (& movies!).
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | March 23, 2010 11:33 AM
Posted by: Matty | March 23, 2010 11:35 AM
Yeah, the OT is filled with references to "other gods"--the Hebrews simply insisted that theirs was the biggest and baddest, and the most 'true', which is to say, Yaweh was credited with the actual creation of heaven and earth. Depending on how you read it, the other "gods" are either fallen angels and other spirits that have managed to accrue a bit of power, and thus tricked mortals into worshipping them, or (more intriguingly) Yaweh's pre-Creation peer-group (maybe even his siblings, of a sort?), who are trying to poach in His backyard, after he did all the heavy lifting of Creation.
Posted by: Freemage | March 23, 2010 11:39 AM
Hastur was invented by Ambrose Bierce in 1891. Robert W. Chambers got it from Bierce, and Lovecraft lifted it from Chambers.
(Sorry to go off topic, but I get peeved about LARPers ignoring Bierce.)
Posted by: HP | March 23, 2010 11:40 AM
Wasn’t this argument settled at the Council of Nicea back in 325? Why do we even bother having these councils if everyone is just going to keep arguing? Jesus Hastor Christ! It’s been over 1600 years now. Your side lost Mr. Kovacs. Get over it. Or do you really think you have something novel to add?
Posted by: Abby Normal | March 23, 2010 11:42 AM
dave @ # 20: Elsewhere in the column he says, "Jesus Christ, is alive on His heavenly throne after spending three days and three nights completely dead."
Do the math, Kovacs (ask B. O'Reilly to help you, he's shown he can count hours and days).
JC, according to the story, gave up the (holy?) ghost near sunset on Friday. This being fairly near the equinox, let's call it 12 hours later when the sun rose Saturday. Less than 24 hours after that, sometime before dawn on Sunday, the J-zombie rose within the cave, shoved the boulder aside with superhuman strength, and stalked out into the darkness!!! (Cue scary music; ask Mel Gibson for the Aramaic for "Brainz...")
That adds up to about 36 hours, Kovacs. The timeline is too fuzzy to be quite so precise, but the total is still two nights, one day.
Jesus spent a lousy weekend for your sins.
Posted by: Pierce R. Butler | March 23, 2010 11:49 AM
"Russian and Ukrainian use the word 'paskha' which comes ultimately from old Hebrew 'pesakh' which means 'origin/descent'."
pesakh comes from the root "pasakh" which literally means "pass over", as in "God passed over the houses marked with blood on the doorposts"
You would think the all powerful would know who lived where, that he would have at least as much info as the yellow pages.
Posted by: Addie Pray | March 23, 2010 11:51 AM
Let's not argue about who killed who... where's the chocolate?
Posted by: Scaryduck | March 23, 2010 11:52 AM
I was referring to All Saints Day or All Souls Day. They don't call it Halloween, but it is very heavily based on it.
Posted by: catgirl | March 23, 2010 11:58 AM
Actually, the linguistic connections between the modern-day names for the calendar day in many Indo-European languages bear striking similarities. The Swedish (North Germanic language) for Easter is "Påsk." The Spanish (Romance language) word for Easter is "Pascua". The Russian (East Slavic language) word for Easter is "Paskha." The reason for these similarities across various linguistic branches is that they all borrow the word from the Hebrew word "pesah," meaning "passing."
Posted by: Sadie Morrison | March 23, 2010 12:11 PM
Suicide by centurion?
Posted by: xebecs | March 23, 2010 12:11 PM
The Ishtar -> Easter derivation is a false etymology, due to the similarity of the consonants. It has had some currency in certain Christian circles and still does. See this page, for example.
These sorts of errors have eternal life, or perhaps can be resurrected after much more than 3 days. Once somebody says it somewhere it will live forever in literature written by/for the credulous.
As for borrowed or co-opted holidays, there is very little in religion that is not borrowed from somewhere. I really like Christmas trees. They've been borrowed so many times nobody knows what they mean, which makes them a great religious symbol.
Posted by: Henry Neufeld | March 23, 2010 12:14 PM
Some of these religious folks seem to have a fetish about names. Maybe it harkens back to their magical roots. If the holiday is called CHRIST mas then it's Christian, and belongs to Christians, and they can't figure out how an atheist could have a tree and presents. If the word "Creator" is in the Declaration of Independence, or if a president signed something with the date "In the year of our lord," then these documents now belong to the Christian God, in the same way that the Bible does, and with them goes the country itself. Representations are the object they represent, on a higher level.
Thus, all things are connected through the power of words, which work as a force binding things together symbolically, and therefore physically. As above, so below.
I always wondered why "Easter" didn't trip their magical word-fetish. Now I see it has, at least for some.
Posted by: Sastra | March 23, 2010 12:16 PM
Easter is a pagan holiday that should not be celebrated by Christmas.
Ed, did you mean to write "Christians" instead of "Christmas"?
Posted by: Tommykey | March 23, 2010 12:18 PM
This thread is just full of win. Educational and entertaining!
Where do Hastur and Ligur as dukes of Hell come from?
Posted by: simba | March 23, 2010 12:23 PM
Oh Sure! You had a "Council!" Well La-De-Da! Like that settles anything. They were supposed to decide about Arianism too, but if that was so settled, why did Constantine allow Eusebius and Theognis to return to the Church? I mean, Im sure it was a really nice "Council" and all, but if it settled everything, what was up with the Germanic kingdoms through the 8th Century? Huh? Riddle me that, Mr. My-Council-Settled-Everything! Nevermind the bloody Unitarians today, Mr. "Its been over 1600 years now."
Besides, the "Council" of Nicea had nothing to do with whether to celebrate Easter, but when to. You see, they decided that they couldnt trust those dirty Jews to know the Jewish calendar, I mean it was only their own calendar and all, so the "Council" decided that they had to come up with their own way, afterall, asking the nearest Jew when Nisan 14 was was just too damn hard. Of couse, if that was so settled, why did the Eastern Church come up with a different day every century or so, nevermind what was happening in the Brittish Isles, Gaul and Spain for the next five centuries. And then the whole spanner that Gregory XIII threw into the works with his newfangled calendar. But there was a "Council" so everything was settled.
Posted by: Dave | March 23, 2010 12:26 PM
Kevin @22:
Somewhere in Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson's novel Illuminatus!, one of the characters swears "Jesus Motherfucking Christ!"
That sounds horribly offensive, but it's pretty close to orthodox western Christian doctrine: if one believes that Jesus is God, then he is also his own father, and in some way impregnated his own mother.
I haven't tried that on a Christian yet.
Posted by: Vicki | March 23, 2010 12:30 PM
To be a little less Anglocentric, the word for Easter in most languages is a derivative of Pesach--Passover. That's why Christians refer to the Pascal Lamb. By the second century Pascha was a well-established celebration, but the early churches were divided on whether to celebrate it on Passover or on the Sunday following Passover. Originally, though, the holiday was pegged to the Hebrew calendar. The word "Easter" and the German folk traditions that are associated with Easter arise much later. I don't know, but I imagine this occurred because of the coincidence of season.
Posted by: Dr X | March 23, 2010 12:41 PM
RobsterFCD at #21:
C'mon, Aargh isn't a who, it's a where.
Posted by: Scott Hanley | March 23, 2010 12:44 PM
Alternatively, since Eostre is mentioned only by Bede, it's possible that the his account is wrong or incomplete. An alternative etymology for Easter involves practice of facing the rising sun in the East on Easter morning (Modern English "east" = Old English "éast." Perhaps what we have is a mashup in which the Anglo-Saxon Eostur-monath and an emphasis on the East reinforced each other to generate a hybrid word.
Can anyone comment on the likelihood of the "Eo" in Eostre becoming the "Ea" in Easter?
Posted by: Nickp | March 23, 2010 12:46 PM
In fact, a number of Christians have done just that. The Orthodox Church successfully purged the Old Slavic weekday names from the language and modern Russian just labels them "firstday", "secondday"... Roman Catholic liturgical Latin and the Portuguese language were similarly cleansed of pagan-derived weekday names and replaced with numbered days (except Sunday, which gets to be named after the Sabbath). Quakers have been known to do the same thing in English, and you can occasionally stumble across modern fundie websites still advocating this nomenclature.
Posted by: Alex | March 23, 2010 12:52 PM
Not that the the church didn't rapidly become antisemitic, but you do realize that it was the non-Jewish brothers who were considered unclean by most of the Jewish brothers? The Jews who accepted Jesus as messiah continued to follow the Jewish purity laws. Among the impurities to be avoided were the gentile believers and all of their impure behaviors.
This was the source of Paul's rants against Peter.
"The end is in the beginning and lies far ahead."-- Ralph Ellison.
Posted by: Dr X | March 23, 2010 1:02 PM
Butler @34:
I am wondering about that Ishtar - Marduk connection.
How it rhymes with the Esther - Mordecai connection in the OT book of Esther, which ironically has no mention of Jehovah (and is odd for being the only book in the OT canon to have this distinction). Found this interesting tidbit spelling out that even the evil Haman in the Esther story has similar Babylonian origins.
http://www.shj.org/purim.htm
Who knew?
Posted by: sharonb | March 23, 2010 1:19 PM
No matter how you spell Eostre, Ostara, Easter, ---yadda yadda yadda--the greater point being made here, is that this just one more instance of Christian Supremacist Militancy, and their pathological need to own everything.
I swear I have seen dogs that don't pee on as much, to mark whatever it is, the dog or the Christian believes is their territory.
Christmas= Saturnalia, or Yule and other Winter Solstice Observances.
Halloween= Winters Night, and Samhain
Easter= Ostara, Eostre, however one spells it, the Spring Equinox
Beltaine is now mother's day
Lughnasa is now father's day
Whatever. It just goes to show that they never had an original thought and will steal the cultural pants of anyone who doesn't run fast enough, and by the way--THEY are not the only ones.
I am just sick to death of their bullshit. I hope the rapture comes soon. Then maybe I can move into a bigger house and find a nicer car and I won't have to listen to this incessant bitching and moaning and wringing of dirty hands.
Posted by: Seeing Eye Chick | March 23, 2010 1:22 PM
It's well established that Eostre and Eastre are synonyms. Eostre is considered by some to be the Northumbrian form at the time of Bede and Eastre the Wessex form. Which came first is uncertain. According to the OED, the oldest surviving record is Bede's use of Eostre, but that doesn't prove it predated Eastre. It's also interesting that the German word for east is ost and the attributed name in German is Ostara. (Side note, Old English doesn't use silent vowels, so Eastre is not pronounced Easter).
Posted by: the bug guy | March 23, 2010 1:23 PM
So they don't want us to celebrate the Ressurrection of their Savior? That's cool -- we can all just become Pagans again, drop all those references to "Easter" that seem to be pissing them off so much, and maybe find another fertility goddess to worship whose name doesn't sound so much like their holiday. Aphrodite maybe? Freya? I'm already on it, and pretty much have been since 1972. Problem solved!
Posted by: Raging Bee | March 23, 2010 1:35 PM
just look again in that list above at some of the terms God associates with Easter and her customs: "corruption," "sin," "abomination" and "evil."
God associates the celebration of his own Son's Ressurrection with "corruption," "sin," "abomination" and "evil?" Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?!! These Christians get sicker every day. Now they're sounding like chronic abuse-victims who hate themselves so much they can't even celebrate their own Miracles, or hear others celebrate them, without guilt and revulsion. What kind of upbringing did these people endure?
Posted by: Raging Bee | March 23, 2010 1:42 PM
Ed, I really can't believe you didn't find this to be the most hilarious part of the column:
Perhaps if the springtime holiday were called "Hitler Sunday" or even "Satan Sunday" instead of Easter, people might have an easier time understanding the problem of attaching evil to God. Would people decorate swastikas instead of eggs and hold goose-stepping contests, all the while claiming such customs were now Christianized?
Airtight logic. He's got me converted.
Posted by: Lauri | March 23, 2010 1:45 PM
Xebecs - the whole centurion story has always bothered me because it should have been interpreted that Jesus was still alive rather than dead. Corpses don't bleed, live people do.
Posted by: Rob Jase | March 23, 2010 1:47 PM
Rob Jase, Corpses do ooze, though, especially if the blood in them hasn't congealed completely.
Simba, I think the "Dukes" are an AD&D thing, but there is a huge gap in my knowledge between a few years of 2nd ed in the 90s and 3.5 now. No. 4th ed doesn't exist, its just a nasty rumor.
Posted by: RobsterFCD | March 23, 2010 2:07 PM
Vicki@50 -- I usually use "Jesus fucking Christ." That way when someone criticizes me for swearing by christ, whom, as an atheist, I dont believe in, I can respond that I was actually swearing by Jesus, Christ's gay lover.
Dr. X@55 -- Fine. Have it your way. Bringing up 1600 year old arguments isnt good enough for Doctor Variable there, he has to go all the way back for 1900 year old divisions. Might as well bring up when the Judean People's Front split from the Peoples Front of Judea while youre at it.
Posted by: Dave | March 23, 2010 2:33 PM
How about decorating eggs WITH swastikas? I have to admit, the idea of chocolate swastikas and lightning bolt "SS" symbols is cracking me up! Gives a whole new meaning to chocolate decadence...
I think the Real Chrisitans(TM) need to unhitch all of their holidays from the secular calendar and leave all the good holidays (i.e. the ones you get days off for) to the rest of us!
Posted by: twincats | March 23, 2010 2:35 PM
@10
January ~ Janus
March ~ Mars
May ~ Maia
June ~ Juno
Of course, this is only Wikipedia knowledge. No guarantees.
Posted by: Flavin | March 23, 2010 3:31 PM
This isn't all that new; I've seen some of the conservative churches celebrating "Resurrection Sunday" for a few years now, either because of the Eostre/Ishtar stuff described above or because Easter is becoming a commercial holiday along the lines of Christmas.
Posted by: anon | March 23, 2010 4:01 PM
It's a good thing these people aren't big on science, because they'd have a really tough time discussing astronomy without mentioning the names of any gods.
Posted by: catgirl | March 23, 2010 4:09 PM
Julius Caesar and August Caesar were both elevated to divine status, so July and August would have to go. You probably would have to change the name of "Sunday," too, since Sun Myung Moon is a god.
Posted by: RobNYNY1957 | March 23, 2010 4:12 PM
July and August are named for Julius and Augustus Caesar, both of whom were officially deified after their deaths.
Posted by: Blake Stacey | March 23, 2010 4:20 PM
doug w @12:
Isaiah 44:6 fits the bill: "Thus says the Lord, the King of Israel, and his Redeemer, the Lord of hosts: I am the first and I am the last; besides me there is no god."
As I understand it, Deuteronomy 32:8-9 has a rather different implication:
i.e. when the most high god Elyon divided humanity among the various gods, he gave Israel to Yahweh. Which is to say, Yahweh is just one god among many; and according to that verse he's not even the biggest.
Posted by: David Ratnasabapathy | March 23, 2010 4:26 PM
Easter is a pagan holiday that should not be celebrated by Christmas.
Uh, Ed, did you mean to type "Christians"?
Posted by: Tsu Dho Nimh | March 23, 2010 4:40 PM
David R.,
What translation are you using?
The Revised Std. Version has a distinctly different meaning for those two verses:
I wouldn't claim to know what this means, especially given the phrase "Lord's portion" which appears consistent with your point though your "number of the gods" is different than the RSV "sons of God". Also, where you use brackets to insert a god's proper name, how do you know which name to use?
Posted by: Michael Heath | March 23, 2010 4:52 PM
Yeah, lots of churches celebrate "Resurrection Sunday" but at least at my church, it's not because of any "EASTER IS TEH DEBIL!" kinda nonsense but more because the word "Easter" seemed to mean more than just the Sunday after the Jews celebrate Passover. We did ban Easter lilies, but this was due to allergies. (I had never complained, but I can tell you that my nose is grateful. Of all the things I'm allergic to, true lilies are one of the worst.) Mind you, our church isn't a conservative one at all.
Regarding days of the week and months of the year....
One of the more bizarre attempts to uncouple from the ancient Roman names actually also accompanied an attempt to uncouple from the Church as well. (Because that's what the Roman names were associated with by that time. It makes sense when one remembers what became of the Roman Empire -- it fell, and in the West, its remnants eventually organized into the Holy Roman Empire.) I'm speaking of the French Revolution, during which France was officially de-Christianized, and an entirely new calendar was adopted. As a new decimalized system of measure was being adopted (the metric system), it was decided to also decimalize the currency (which made sense) and the calendar (which frankly did not). Though they kept the twelve-month year, each month was precisely 30 days long, and composed of three ten-day "décades" (analogous to weeks), with only the tenth day as a day of rest. At the end of each year, five or six intercalary days would be added to fill out the year (which of course is stubbornly tied to the Earth's orbital period and will not bend to the whims of committee). They didn't stop at the calendar, either; the day was also decimalized, being divided into ten decimal hours, each of which was comprised of 100 decimal minutes, which in turn were comprised of 100 decimal seconds. Decimal time didn't catch on, and was abandoned fairly quickly, but the calendar lasted until it was abolished in 1805 by Napoleon Bonaparte, not long after he was declared Emperor of France.
The days were basically 1-10. The calendar started on the autumnal equinox (a very unusual place for a calendar to start; most start near either the winter solstice or the vernal equinox), and the months were given descriptive names based on the season, with Latin, Greek, or French roots. ACcording to Wikipedia's rather nifty page on the French Republican Calendar, today would be Tridi, 3 Germinal, in the year 218.
(I say all this mostly to highlight the essential absurdity of all of this. We humans take names far too seriously.)
Posted by: Calli Arcale | March 23, 2010 4:52 PM
Wouldn't there be some connection to Ashteroth, as well? I seem to recall reading that this entity, characterized as a demon in the OT, was originally Yaweh's wife in pre-Mosaic Hebrew mythology. And when they decided to go all patriarchal/monotheistic, not only did Yahweh get a divorce, the ex got a rather serious demotion.
Posted by: gary l. day | March 23, 2010 4:52 PM
OK, I think I see where you're coming from. I was worried there was some kind of "keep Christ in trick or treating" going round but yes the date and the focus on the dead is pagan. From the celtic Samahain if I remember.
Posted by: Matty | March 23, 2010 5:22 PM
Worldnut Daily is blocked a inappropriate where I am browsing from. What exactly are Christians supposed to call "The holiday formerly know as Easter" anyway?
Posted by: katydid13 | March 23, 2010 6:28 PM
The immediate roots of Christianity are in Judaism and Greek thought, and of course paganism is part of it. So what? Religion and culture are derivative. Every word in every language is derivative. The suggestion that language, beliefs and culture can be "stolen" implies a moral failing, as if normal social evolution is intrinsically pathological and evil. There are plenty of things it would be fair to cite as manifestations of Christian militancy and supremicism, but I don’t believe that the derivative character of Christianity is itself one of them.
I couldn’t agree with you more about how odious Christianist supremacy is, but supremacist causes are characterized by cultural, linguistic, racial, ethnic and religious purity movements. They attempt to nullify out-group influence with a great deal of bigotry in tow. Large swathes of the Christian world have been and continue to be guilty of that. But I don’t believe that the problem of Christianist supremacy is related to what Christians derive from other belief systems and cultures; the problem has to do with brittle belief systems and the deliberate suppression of other beliefs and cultures. The so-called culture wars are not about stealing foreign ideas; they’re about suppressing and eradicating those ideas in a futile quest for cultural purity.
Posted by: Dr X | March 23, 2010 6:34 PM
yeah, Ancient Judaism was monolatrous, not monotheistic. And actually they didn't even believe in the "our god is the creator of the universe" bit. Remember the part of Genesis where Cain gets kicked out for murdering his brother, and then promptly finds himself a wife from another city?
The creator of the universe stuff is much much later, from the priestly tradition which didn't even start until the 6th century BCE.
Posted by: Jadehawk | March 23, 2010 6:52 PM
@17, 21, 25 "Whoa, wait, does that mean God ADMITTED to the existence of other Gods?"
The original proto-Jews were monolatrists, not monotheists. They accepted the existence of other gods, but were only permitted to worship Jah (the lord Yah =Yahweh).
When I read a novel by Neal Stephenson, I came across a theory that at this time the consort of Yah would have been the fertility goddess worshiped under varios names as Ishtar, Afrodite etc. Interestingly, the symbols for this goddess included the snake, and other symbols that later orthodoxy would stigmatize!
-The bible obviously did not exist at this time, and when the Deuteronists wrote down the first books of the Old Testament (and centralized the worship of Yahweh to the temple of Jerusalem) they purged all references to any consort -this is also the time when the religion became bona fide monotheism.
BTW the description of Mt. Sinai in the old testament is claimed* to be more descriptive of a volcanic mountain. Sinai is the tallest mountain in the region where the Jews settled down, but is not volcanic.
There are many volcanoes in the region from Syria to the Arabic peninsula that have been active during the last three millennia, and the description of Mt. Sinai may be a folk memory of one or several mountains where the original cult of Yah was practised. It is certainly not unusual to associate gods with volcanoes.
(The Arabs also worship Jah/Lah. The Lah =Al-lah )
(* a letter to the editor in either Science or Nature, I forgot which issue)
Posted by: Birger Johansson | March 23, 2010 7:02 PM
Urm... Isn't the Christian religion just a mash-up of scraps of history and pagan sun cults anyway?
So we have an Egyptian/Pagan/Judaic mash-up with a Pagan birthday celebration and a Pagan death celebration...
It's kinda self-destructive for this idiot to bring it up in the first place. Anyone who reads into Easter/Eostre is sure to stumble across Yule as well, destabilising the entire house of cards...
Posted by: DexX | March 23, 2010 7:23 PM
Regarding the "dead for three days and nights" thing, this is one of those areas where there has been a translation error due to a cultural idiosyncrasy. The Greeks (and Romans) counted inclusively. So while the text does use the words for day and third (τῇ ἡμέρᾳ τῇ τρίτῃ - in dative for time at which), we would render it as second because we don't count the day we're starting from. In other words when we talk about Sunday on Friday, we would say two days from now while they would say three. So it isn't that the gospel writers didn't know how to count (in this case at least) it was that their translators didn't know or forgot to take that into account.
Posted by: Rhino of Steel | March 23, 2010 7:54 PM
"Joe Kovacs just wrote an entire column talking about a pagan god -- and then cites the Bible saying he's violating God's law by even mentioning her name. Hilarious."
Kind of reminds me of the scene in Monty Python's Life of Brian, where the guy is getting stoned for saying the name of Jehovah. Every time the high priest tells the crowd the nature of his crime (saying the name of Jehovah), the crowd pelts him with stones.
Posted by: Randy | March 23, 2010 9:36 PM
Michael Heath @73:
David Ratnasabapathy @71 was citing a version of Deuteronomy 32:8-9 that is found in the Greek Septuagint, and was also supported by a version of Deuteronomy found in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
Posted by: Owlmirror | March 23, 2010 10:07 PM
So, Easter isn't Christian, because it's a spring holiday, and pagans had spring holidays. Christmas isn't Christian either, since it's just a winter festival.
Surprise, most cultures have at least one holiday in every season. Looks like you can't celebrate Christianity ever by that logic.
Posted by: MPL | March 23, 2010 10:16 PM
"The nonexistent, evil chick called Easter"? Is the title supposed to be clever? Although, on second thought, it *is* keeping in line with his evil though existent religion that treats women like helpless baby birds.
Posted by: Lynn | March 23, 2010 10:40 PM
Only to readers of worldnutdaily would the idea that 90% of the things associated with Easter have their roots in pagan traditions.
Wait until someone breaks it to them where things like yule logs, decorating fir trees, and hanging mistletoe come from.
Posted by: D. C. | March 23, 2010 11:08 PM
Only to readers of worldnutdaily would the idea that 90% of the things associated with Easter have their roots in pagan traditions be news.
Wait until someone breaks it to them where things like yule logs, decorating fir trees, and hanging mistletoe come from.
Posted by: D. C. | March 23, 2010 11:14 PM
Owlmirror @84: Cheers, I didn't know that!
Michael Heath @73
I'm using the NRSV. That translation footnotes "Most High" to be the name "Elyon"; "The Lord" of course is "Yahweh".
I came across that passage in Hector Avalos' book, The End of Biblical Studies, in the chapter on bible translations. "Elyon", apparently, was the name of a god in the civilizations of the ancient Middle East.
Posted by: David Ratnasabapathy | March 24, 2010 12:25 AM
Adrienne @19:
For this reason a preacher I heard claimed that Jesus was crucified on Wednesday :-)
To be sure, he also claimed that the statue of Moses with horns in the Vatican proved that the Pope was a satan worshipper.
Posted by: David Ratnasabapathy | March 24, 2010 12:47 AM
"... Hastur and Ligur... dukes of Hell..."?
Do they ride around in the General E Lee? Have a wise uncle called Jesse and a buxom cousin called Daisy?
Oh wait now! I was confusing hell and the Deep South again :) - Dingo
Posted by: DingoJack | March 24, 2010 1:19 AM
"Joe Kovacs ... has a column declaring that Easter is a pagan holiday that should not be celebrated by Christmas."
I agree. I think it should be celebrated by Christians instead.
Of course, if it's not celebrated by Christmas, that means we'll have to celebrate it between Christmas and New Year's, or even put it off until next year.
Posted by: David Conrad | March 24, 2010 3:23 AM
@74 - Calli Arcale
Because that's what the Roman names were associated with by that time. It makes sense when one remembers what became of the Roman Empire -- it fell, and in the West, its remnants eventually organized into the Holy Roman Empire.
The Holy Roman Empire wasn't actually composed of remnants of the Roman Empire. There was really very little overlap. The largest parts of the western Roman Empire (The eastern part didn't "fall" until 1453, though it dwindled mightily before that) never joined the Holy Roman Empire. The majority of the Holy Roman Empire, for most of its existence, consisted of Germanic States that had never been a part of the Roman Empire, western or eastern.
Posted by: Lynxreign | March 24, 2010 8:24 AM
Lynxreign -- Germanic except in the sense that the original Holy Roman Emperor was a Frank. ;-)
Yes, the history of the Holy Roman Empire was a bit more complex than the way I put it above, but that was basically the intent of it. After centuries of isolated feudalism, some looked back on the time of the Roman Empire with a bit of nostalgia. Odd, considering they were Christian and the Romans of the western part of the Empire were definitely not, but the kings of the period could see the astonishing engineering marvels left behind by the Romans, evidence of a vast and well-organized empire, and wished to return to that sort of glory. Hence, the Holy Roman Empire was founded. It was quite a different beast than the Roman Empire, to be sure, but they borrowed a great deal from what they thought they knew of it. And then they formed a sort of partnership (sometimes friendly, sometimes not) with the Papacy in Rome, and the stage was set for the next thousand years of European history.
Posted by: Calli Arcale | March 24, 2010 9:49 AM
BTW, as a random humorous aside, there's a church in Eagan called Easter Lutheran Church. It's very popular. Their signs are announcing times for the Resurrection Sunday service. So they are not afraid to call themselves "Easter" but don't want to call the Easter Sunday service "Easter Worship". :-P (To be fair, this may be partly to avoid confusion with the name of the actual church itself.)
Posted by: Calli Arcale | March 24, 2010 9:54 AM
"The Holy Roman Empire was neither holy, nor Roman, nor an empire."
Voltaire
Posted by: Coryat | March 24, 2010 10:35 AM
@94 - Calli Arcade
Germanic except in the sense that the original Holy Roman Emperor was a Frank. ;-)
Sure, he was a Frank, but the Franks themselves were a Germanic people who moved into what we now know as France from outside what was the border of the Roman Empire.
After a brief period at the beginning of the Holy Roman Empire, the Roman territory that would eventually become known as France wasn't a part of the empire.
Posted by: Lynxreign | March 24, 2010 10:53 AM
"...Easter is a pagan holiday that should not be celebrated BY Christmas."
I agree, even in our bad economy, we shouldn't have to save money by combining the two holidays. We threw caution to the wind in my family and celebrated Christmas in December, knowing full well that we would have to shell out for Easter, too.
Posted by: momkat | March 24, 2010 5:01 PM
Easter, Ostara, Astarte, Aset, Attar, Ashtar, Ishtar, Astaroth...lots of (similar) pagan goddess names spread over the ancient Middle East and Europe, there. Does that mean Christians can't study archaeology?
Posted by: Arakiba | March 24, 2010 11:47 PM
This...
Anger on so many levels
Or it would be if I had allowed myself to read about this at "not 1:12 AM."
By that I mean the WND, not Ed. WND != worth my usage of theological mind for the most part.
Posted by: KKairos | March 26, 2010 4:14 AM
"Jesus spent three full days and three full nights dead in the tomb." There is actually one branch of Seventh Day Adventists who base their religion on the three full days dead. They believe (and are able to prove through records of the lunar calendar) that the crucifixion happened on WEDNESDAY, not on Good Friday. That way the resurrection can happen in a way that helps prop up their view that Saturday continues to be the correct sabbath day.
Posted by: Wayne | March 30, 2010 8:56 AM