Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Fred Phelps and his merry gang of ghouls and bigots say they’re going to protest at the graduation of Constance McMillen, the young lesbian girl in Mississippi whose school and fellow students treated so abominably.

The Westboro Baptist Church, which has drawn jeers for picketing at soldiers’ funerals and on Tuesday cheered the deaths of 12 tornado victims in Mississippi, said in a statement last weekend that they will be on hand for Constance McMillen’s high school graduation ceremony, the Advocate reported.

“[We] will picket the graduation of Itawamba Agricultural High School to remind the parents, teachers and students of this nation that God said ‘Thou shall not lie with mankind, as with womankind, it is abomination,'” the group declared.

Funny, that verse only seems to mention male homosexuality. In fact, the Bible doesn’t say anything against lesbianism at all specifically — God being male, obviously, and therefore enjoying the sight of two hot chicks in the throes of passion just like the rest of the male population. You can almost hear the celestial choirs of angels singing “bow chicka wow wow” in the background, can’t you?

To be serious for a moment, I think if the group actually does show up to protest — they frequently announce that they’ll be protesting this or that and then don’t show up, presumably because they’re busy inbreeding the next generation of family fucktards — it could actually end up being a good thing.

As terrible as the behavior of the school, the students and the parents were, the behavior of the Phelps gang is far more extreme. And I’ve seen even those who are relatively bigoted against gays express genuine revulsion at their behavior. But the leap isn’t all that far from one to the other and it could lead at least a few people in that community to see their own side of the fight taken to such a vile extreme that it pushes them in the other direction. Or maybe I’m just feeling less cynical than usual tonight for some reason.


  1. #1 DoTheMath
    May 4, 2010

    It’s wierd that Reverand Phelps spent the 80s defending civil rights, winning awards from the NAACP, and fighting for the separation of church and state. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps

    He almost sounds like the “hysterical backwoods preachers, drooling with hate to a degree that looks both comical and deranged” that two gay men suggested in 1989 the media portray to make people sympathize with gays (After The Ball, pg. 189).

    Don’t worry, Constance. You’ve got every celebrity, including Ellen and Ricky Martin. Did you hear about his $20 million movie deal for coming out of the closet? You’re likely the only one from that high school going to college. Sounds like, without the scholarship, nobody else can afford to. Unfortunately, that means their penniless children will probably cling to religion every bit as much, so we have to keep removing the gay kids from poor hick town to Hollywood’s land of opportunity. I just can’t understand why they’re so jealous!

    It’s not like they’re John Lotter, on death row despite no physical evidence he was ever at any murder scene, or Tom Nissen, who actually attacked Teena Brandon because she tricked him out of bond money:
    http://www.ncpa.ne.gov/ctopinio/S-95-996.htm or http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=NE&vol=sc/S-95-996&invol=1


    Paragraph beginning with “According to Hemmerling…” Teena Brandon said she had been assaulted because of a dispute over a bond that had been posted for her.

    Paragraph beginning with “In the meantime, Caverzagie…” Tom Nissen tried to put her back in prison in exchange for return of the bond, but the police wouldn’t let him, so he assaulted Teena Brandon instead.

    BTW, in our former civil rights cases, how much did Rosa Parks get paid for refusing to sit at the back of the bus? How many rock stars publicly backed her, or got movie deals cause they did the same? How many people suggested we put the names of white children from that bus on a list to deny them future employment or college admission? Just want to get my history straight. As for you poor rural hick kids, you can either do it with a smile or a grudge, but you will ALWAYS be poor, and you will NEVER have opportunities! So get over it!

New comments have been disabled.