Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Victoria Jackson, apparently intent on proving that she actually is the single dumbest creature on the entire planet, admits that she didn’t vote until she was in her 40s because she didn’t know how.

I didn’t vote for anyone. I didn’t know how. I didn’t know where to go. I never saw a sign that said, “Vote Here.” I didn’t know how to “register” or even that I had to register. I didn’t know what the candidates stood for or how to find out. Word of mouth I guess, but no one I hung out with talked about politics, ever.

And to make things even funnier, she thinks she helped George W. Bush defeat Bill Clinton in the 2000 election:

Now, when I say, “I’m mad at the Christians,” I include myself. I am a Christian. And, I must confess, if I am to be truthful, that…okay, I’ll just put it out there…the first time I ever voted I was forty something. There I said it. I know. It’s embarrassing. But I’m trying to make a point. It was the year Clinton said, “…that depends on the meaning of the word ‘is’.” I snapped. His adultery didn’t shock me so much. I had three preachers already who had done that. It was that haughty look, lack of shame, and zero repentance combined with that asinine sentence…the meaning of the word ‘is’ . That is what led me to the voting booth. I know. I’m sorry. Well, I always thought politics was for the middle age people. But then, one day, I was the middle age people.

So, I voted Clinton out. My vote counted. Bush won.

Uh Vicky….sweetie…..Clinton was leaving anyway. He wasn’t running in the election you voted in. Al Gore was. You didn’t vote Clinton out of office. But wait, she’s got more stupid to bring:

In my 20’s, Reagan was President. I felt secure. I didn’t have to vote. The middle aged people had handled that for me. I did a handstand on the SNL Update desk to celebrate Reagan’s trip to Rejeivich. He went there, ended Communism, and tore down the Berlin Wall with his charm, courage and deployment of Pershing and cruise missiles in Europe. That’s my President. I am safe.

No, you are stupid. I presume she means Reykjavik, the city in Iceland where Reagan had a summit meeting with Gorbachev in 1986. Where talks collapsed and no agreement at all was made three years before the fall of communism. But what it did do was pave the way for the signing of the Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty in 1987. Guess what that treaty did? It took all those Pershing and cruise missiles out of Europe.

It’s amusing that Reagan worshipers can’t seem to get their story straight on this. The most common story is that Reagan bankrupted the Soviet Union by pushing them into an arms race they couldn’t afford. Now here’s Vicky Jackson claiming that he defeated the Soviet Union by signing agreements with them that eliminated their need to engage in such an arms race.