Dispatches from the Creation Wars

The Feral Genius on Andrew Shirvell

Jennifer Abel, the Feral Genius who often comments here, has written an absolutely hilarious post about Andrew Shirvell and his obsession with Chris Armstrong. A taste:

So gay guys must learn to recognize subtle cues indicating a man’s a potential sex partner, like “he wears an earring in a certain lobe” or “he’s a right-wing political or religious figure who spends lots of time lambasting the evils of homosexuality.” Ted Haggard. Larry Craig. They know what I mean.

That said, even the most finely tuned gaydar occasionally shows a false reading, so I cannot state with absolute certainly that Michigan assistant state attorney general Andrew Shirvell is a homosexual so far in the closet he’s conquered Narnia. What I can say about Shirvell is this: something about hunky college boy Chris Armstrong, the University of Michigan’s first openly gay student-body president, dumped an economy-sized can of obsessiveness into whatever’s simmering in the pressure cooker of Shirvell’s brain.

And if there’s a funnier turn of phrase than “spray your white-hot homosexual agenda all over me” I have yet to encounter it.