Dispatches from the Creation Wars

Palin’s Qualifications for President

The website Conservatives4Palin (apparently named by Prince) offers a top ten list of reasons why Sarah Palin is qualified to be president. Here’s all you need to know about that list: “Ten years volunteer work in the Parent-Teacher-Association” is second.

Makes you wonder what #3 is, doesn’t it? “Two years pro-life advocacy.” But this is my favorite part. Number five on the list is “Two and a half years governing the largest state in America.” Of course, it’s the smallest state by population (or very close to it). Apparently, governing empty land is valuable experience. But this is the punchline:

As her state’s chief executive, Palin not only oversaw 15,000 state employees and a $12 billion budget, she was immersed in the threats facing our nation as her state is the first line of defense against rogue ballistic and nuclear weapons that might be fired from North Korea or the former Soviet Union.

Now that’s using creative language to make the fact that she can see Russia from her breakfast nook sound like serious preparation. She was “immersed in the threats facing our nation”? Seriously? They make it sound like she was manning a Patriot missile battery just waiting for a rogue ICBM to come flying by. But wait, it gets better:

Had Palin served out her natural term, and ran for re-election, the chorus of “is she qualified” would have been mollified by her overwhelming accomplishments and an acceptably completed term in office…

Unfortunately, she stepped down 16 months shy of a full term. When you look at that as a percentage, however, Palin actually served two-thirds of her term … the precise percentage Barack Obama served of his term in the senate.

You have to love what they leave out of this creative prose. Like the fact that she quit and offered a mind-numbingly idiotic and contradictory excuse for doing so. And the fact that Obama didn’t finish his term because he was elected president, while she quit to do a reality TV show.

This is what happens when you simply shut off your cognitive processes and become a mindless cheerleader.