Unlike Orac at Respectful Insolence, I’m not particularly obsessed with what he calls “woo”: medical quackery and fraud. He has every reason to go bullshit over it, since it is potentially very dangerous stuff. But I have a limited supply of outrage and quackery just doesn’t set me off. Usually. So I am surprised at how bullshit I get every time I see this piece of shit advert for something called the Kinoki footpad detoxification system. I want to scream when it comes on television. I mean really SCREAM. Mrs. R. has to restrain me from yelling at the TV. This ad pushes all my buttons. It pushes buttons I didn’t even know I had. It pushes buttons I don’t want to have and no one should have.
Now Wired has noticed it (hat tip Boingboing), calling it The Biggest Medical Scam Since Alex Chiu’s Immortality Device. Since I’m not a quackery aficionado I don’t know about Alex Chiu’s live long and prosper technology, but I am an environmental epidemiologist and I know something about chemical toxins in general and some of them I know quite a lot about, as in being an expert knowing a lot about them. Like asbestos. Asbestiform fibers are minerals, variously composed calcium and magnesium silicates. When you breathe them they can cause a fatal scarring of the lungs (asbestosis) or one of a number of kinds of cancer. Because they are mineral fibers, they don’t move around much once they get lodged wherever they get to. In particular, they won’t leach out onto a foot pad over night. Nor, unfortunately, will your cellulite. Or lead. Or parasites. Mucous?!?! Holy Mother Fuck (I will grant it is pretty effective at removing that green stuff from your wallet).
Whenever I see this garbage on TV the only thing I can think is, someone isn’t doing their job. I don’t know who that bastard is, but he or she should be fired. You watch it. I can’t:
Wow. All I can say is Wow.