Rudolph “9/11” Giuliani is banking on the good Republicans in Florida to save his sorry ass in the primary. Given the gang of bottom feeders running in that Party’s primary, you wonder how anyone could be stupid enough to vote in it, but there is ample evidence that they exist a-plenty in Florida. I don’t mean to pick on Florida. People with barely two neurons to rub together seem to be everywhere. They even have their own TV network, Fox. That way when MyFoxOrlando gestates a particularly redolent fecal load, they can relieve themselves through still other orifices — MyFoxColorado, for example:
Pastor Renee Brewster and her husband Bishop Winston Brewster are a very spiritual couple. But the site of their savior in a potato has reinvigorated their faith and their desire to help others.
Renee says she had been looking for an excuse to get out of making potato salad. “I was hesitant about making the potato salad because Sister Frankie makes the potato salad at church and I said lord if it’s not for me to make potato salad then send me a sign.”
She thought she got her sign right off the bat. “The first potato I split in half and put it to the side because it looked rotten.
It was her 10-year-old granddaughter who made her give the potato a second look. “My granddaughter said Granny did you see that in the middle? I said what?”
And taking a closer look she saw the cross with Jesus in the middle. “It’s remarkable.” (MyFoxOrlando via MyFoxColorado)
I’ll pause in this inspiring story so you can go to MyFoxColorado to see these remarkable likenesses of Jesus on the Cross in the rotten potato for yourselves, here and here. Please do. I’d put them up here but Fox copyrighted the pics. Apparently Jesus on the Cross is a Fox property.
So what happened next? Not even The Onion could make this up:
Pastor Brewster froze the heart of that potato bearing Jesus. The rest was used to make the potato salad served during their weekly rescue mission.
How was that potato salad? “It was good. It was the best you ever made…it was almost as good as Sister Frankie’s,” said Bishop Brewster.
Sure. Put poor Jesus in the freezer, eat the Apostles, Mary Magdalen, Pontius Pilate, Barabas and assorted Roman Legionnaires with mayo and don’t even give poor granny the potato salad Palme d’Or.
Last summer PZ had the temerity to suggest we’re surrounded by “ignorant, deluded, wicked, foolish, or oppressed victims of obsolete mythologies in the United States.” This raised a ruckus with those who thought we atheists have to be nicer to the ignorant, deluded, wicked, foolish or oppressed victims of obsolete mythologies that surround us, so I want to be clear it was PZ that said this, not me.
I just agree with it.