The daycare where my daughter’s 15 month old is a scholar-in-residence is closed this week so grandma (Mrs. R.) and grandpa (yours truly) have been filling in with the newborn and the older sib. It’s been a while and there were a lot of things we’d forgotten about. Like the fact that babies like to “spit up,” a euphemism for puking on you. Since I am famous in the family for wearing my dinner on my clothes (absent-minded professor style), my daughter thought I would appreciate the latest in wearable body fluid fashion, T-shirts decorated with realistic looking baby emesis patterns:

From the designer, Breastfed Threads by Bombastic Baby:

What woman can resist a sentimental stain that showcases a strapping hunk taking care of his child? He may not have the baby right now because she’s home being cared for by her mother, but this shirt says the stud held his infant at least once, long enough for mom to pee. It’s sexy.” (designer quoted on Thingamababy.com)

The puke patterns are based on actual examples. The silicone nodules are coated with cubic zirconia dust to make a shimmering stain that appear like a freshly regurgitated slimy stain.

Fortunately for me I don’t have to spend anything. I’m wearing the real thing.