Mix a little hard line nationalism with religious fundamentalism and what do you get? The formula for cow piss soft drink:
A hardline Hindu organisation, known for its opposition to “corrupting” Western food imports, is planning to launch a new soft drink made from cow’s urine, often seen as sacred in parts of India.
The Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh (RSS), or National Volunteer Corps, said the bovine beverage is undergoing laboratory tests for the next 2 to 3 months but did not give a specific date for its commercial release. (Reuters)
The Hindu Taliban want to desecularize Indian society and cow urine soft drink is one of their more benign campaign promises:
The movement has often been accused of using more violent methods, such as killing 67 Christians in the eastern state of Orissa last year, and assaulting women in a pub in Mangalore last month. (AP via TimesOnline)
Also on the political menu is getting rid of the foreign influence represented by Coke and Pepsi. And no one will need Dr. Pepper, either, since cow piss soft drink will do the trick:
“Cow urine offers a cure for around 70 to 80 incurable diseases like diabetes. All are curable by cow urine,” Om Prakash, the head of the RSS Cow Protection Department, told Reuters by phone.
Did we mention it can also cure cancer?
“Don’t worry, it won’t smell like urine and will be tasty too,” he told The Times from his headquarters in Hardwar, one of four holy cities on the River Ganges. “Its USP will be that it’s going to be very healthy. It won’t be like carbonated drinks and would be devoid of any toxins.”
Don’t get me wrong. I am sympathetic to wanting to hold on to your culture. I’d be unhappy if someone tried to substitute some foreign stuff for my native foods like felafel, egg rolls or grape leaves, not to mention General Gau’s chicken.
But I’d be especially unhappy if the substitute for my Mountain Dew was “gau jal” (Sanskrit for “cow water”). It’s one thing just to taste like piss. But to actually be piss? I’ve got my limits.