Effect Measure

Every once in a while we use this space for news clips reporting someone sighting the face of Jesus or the Virgin Mary or Mother Teresa or Michael Steele on a wall or a piece of toast. Like this:

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The point is less about the benighted souls whose over active pattern recognition is featured as to point out the collosal drivel dished out by local TV news outlets, the main source for this kind of crap (Fox News seems particularly fond of these stories, but they’re all guilty). It’s not an aberration, either. The sheer volume is almost as mind numbing as the content. The following compilation of examples, just from 2008, is too long for any sane person to watch in its entirety, but if you skip along to the last couple of minutes you’ll find that many of the news anchors openly don’t take this stuff seriously. But their stations keep shoveling it out. Because really stupid shit is OK if it’s in the name of religion:


  1. #1 Janine Mitchell
    March 15, 2009

    Faith and love is what I receive. Thank you. A moving image of Our Blessed Mother Mary that was captured on video can be viewed for those who are interested free. There were 28 minutes recorded @ 30 second clips. A preview of this can be viewed online @ http://www.messagefrommary.com or youtube/dancinstar.ENJOY!

  2. #2 doctorgoo
    March 15, 2009

    It’s a miracle! Just one viewing is guaranteed to bring back faith to any and all dyslexic atheists:


    View the miracle for yourself, and find your faith in the almighty Dog once more!

    (Fortunately for everyone, you can see the dog’s ass for free, as opposed to the “free” DVD that Janine is selling for $9.95.)

  3. #3 Victoria
    March 15, 2009


    Thank you. I can now say that I have seen the face of dog.

  4. #4 Edmund
    March 15, 2009

    Janine, how can you live with yourself? Your video is clearly the product of digital manipulation, and my impression is that the “speaking” is not even quality animation — it appears to be nothing more than a crude repeating sequence of different faces. Artifacts from the editing process (also apparently running in sequence) can be seen in the region surrounding the face.

  5. #5 Katy
    March 15, 2009

    Jesus on a stick and “cheezus” were the best.

  6. #6 M. Randolph Kruger
    March 16, 2009

    Okay so lets go to the other side of the fence….. What would any of us do if we saw something ourselves that we all felt was incontrovertible?

    I mean if there was a voice in the heavens one day, how many of us would crap our drawers and stand in awe? Revere makes a good and very valid scientist point of view argument… Prove it. Images of Jim and Tammy Bakker dont do anything for my faith or religion… except keep me up at night.

    On the other hand I ask him to tell me me where energy, atomic mass, matter come from and how our universe got its origins…..

    Do tell.

  7. #7 Joe
    March 16, 2009

    I’m an admitted, and proud, Jesus freak. But honestly – does anyone have an actual photograph, or even a portrait, of Jesus? Sure, there are faces in those objects, but they all look like American white men with long hair. Jesus wasn’t American, and probably wasn’t a white man. I really don’t understand why so many people need a physical idol to worship. (If Jesus meant for us to worship His image, He’d have left us an accurate portrait, don’t you think?)

  8. #8 M. Randolph Kruger
    March 17, 2009

    Indeed, I saw a mock up of what Jesus might have looked like that was done up using anthro bones of the period. What they ginned up would have made a Gray laugh.

    Short, fat, hands the size of catchers mitts and he looked a bit cross eyed. Claymation at its finest. If thats intelligent design then we are screwed.

    Oh, wait… We have that other side of the fence again…. I saw him on the tube today… He was reading from a teleprompter.

  9. #9 revere
    March 17, 2009

    Randy: On the other hand I ask him to tell me me where energy, atomic mass, matter come from and how our universe got its origins…..
    Do tell.

    Just consider it the same place your god came from.

  10. #10 llewelly
    March 29, 2009

    I mean if there was a voice in the heavens one day, how many of us would crap our drawers and stand in awe?

    When it happened yesterday I looked around in confusion for a few moments, and then concluded it was a hallucination. These things happen on a regular basis when I can’t afford my meds, and they usually don’t trouble me too much. It’s been years since I crapped my drawers over it.

  11. #11 janine mitchell
    June 9, 2009

    Captured on my camera 57 clips of a life size oil painting of Our Blessed Mother Mary moving her mouth,eyes,hands,toes and heart. See all 57 clips of the raw footage exactly as it was recorded. Enjoy!!! Some people claim to see Jesus Christ. In peace and love I share this with all those who are interested.

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