I rarely do quack posts here. For one thing, this is an area ably covered by my Sciblings, chief among them Orac at Respectful Insolence (who likes to call it “woo”; I don’t like the term; whatever you term it, it’s quackery). For another, I’m not much interested in it. I do religion once a week on the Freethinker Sermonette, so that pretty much uses up my bullshit quotient. However yesterday I found a story on Boingboing about drinking water being sold at a Manhattan (Columbus Circle) Whole Foods store, and since I am professionally interested in drinking water, I read on. Fortunately I am pretty laid back or I am sure my head would have exploded.
The drinking water in question has been micturated into the stream of commerce by Claire Brightwater. Boingbong quotes from the label:
This water has been programmed with music, crystals & prayers for good health, happiness, creative energy & prosperity. (via Boingboing)
There follows a pull quote from a 2007 NY Times article about upscale “water bars,” which I dutifully followed. I’m all about duty. Even if it can make your head explode:
?I think there?s a revolution happening,? said Claire Brightwater, producer of a new spring water that shares her last name. ?I really believe that spiritual people like myself want to make a change, with all the suffering in the world now.?
Ms. Brightwater, who calls herself a psychic, healer and medicine woman, and who owns a Native American crafts gallery in Queens, applies the New Age healing techniques she has used on crystals for three decades to transfer what she claims is palpable ?good energy? to her water and those who drink it.
It is a complicated process. Once the bottles arrive from their source near Saratoga Springs, N.Y., Ms. Brightwater said, she lays out tumbled stones that she has ?programmed for love, health and prosperity? around and on top of each case.
She burns sage and sweet grass, herbs used by the Native Americans, to clarify and purify the energy of the water, and prays for its drinkers to experience good health, good luck and prosperity. She said she then asks ?the Great Spirit to help feed the hungry children, keep the waters clean and to protect the two- and four-legged on this planet.?
She plays CDs of Native American and Buddhist healing chants for 12 hours a day, until the cases of water are delivered. (Suzy Allman, New York Times)
If you think you can stand it, here’s another one:
Another product, Liquid OM Water, which made its debut in March, is purified suburban Chicago municipal tap water that has been ?frequency enhanced? by its creator, Kenny Mazursky. A ?certified sound therapist,? Mr. Mazursky said he uses Tibetan singing bowls and a giant earth gong to send vibrations through the water at specific frequencies.
?The guys at the warehouse love it,? said Mr. Mazursky, who said he energizes a truckload of 36,000 bottles at a time in his distribution center near Chicago, before the water makes its way to health food stores, gyms and spas around the country. ?They all come down off their forklifts to sit in on it.?
Mr. Mazursky said that the natural frequencies he chooses promote good health and balance, and that his bottles stay ?energized? for years after he treats them. ?Water holds sound at five times the magnitude of air,? he said. ?That?s why dolphins and whales can talk to each other when they?re miles apart.?
I’m sparing you the Christian-themed spiritual waters, because it’s Passover time for Jews and they might get offended because they only allow themselves to eat and drink items labeled “Kosher for Passover” after a Rabbi certified it and I wouldn’t want them to infer I’m also talking about them instead of the crazy Gentiles.