SPORE: Obvious happens, EA shocked

So, EA just released the ‘Creature Creator‘ pre-SPORE game. You cant do much with your monsters at this point, but its a super easy program for making basically any creature you can think of (I have zero animator skillz, but I can do it. Point/click/drag– My dad could handle this). Its been really fun playing on Sporepedia, and seeing little videos of what my friends have created…

Like sporn.

Yes, the first place a LOT of people went when given the reins of such an amazing animation program was to generate:

  • Huge penis/boobage/butt/etc
  • An organism with a huge/suggestive penis/boob/butt/etc
  • An organism that looks like two organisms perpetually ‘going at it’ like bonobos

Now, its easy to frown at such creations. Those videos youve seen uploaded on YouTube? Theyre part of the ‘Creature Creator’ program. Theyre uploaded automatically. Which means little ones could be watching their friends creations, and innocently click over to these two hot pink lemurs joined at the crotch, bumping and grinding to some wild jungle beats. Common– this game is fun and would be great for little ones. We dont want them to be exposed to ‘adult stuff’ before theyre ready*!

On the other hand, sporn is friggin funny. I laughed hard at ~1.28 of this video. Im sorry, but a huge penis shrinking to half its original size, cowering in fear, is just plain ol hysterical. Could you imagine exploring your SPORE universe and discovering a new planet dominated by huge penises? Transplanting penises from one planet to another planet of penises, and watching them duel? Seriously. Seriously. It would be great.

But you might not have a chance to do that, even in your personal SPORE universe. EA has been taking down sporn YouTubes and Sporepedia entries, and putting sporn makers accounts in ‘time-out’. Evidently it is someones job to sift through every single uploaded creature to make sure they arent ‘naughty’, except the most famous perv has been Kristen Salvatore of PC Gamer, who got a ‘time out’ for this not at all raunchy monster, Boobalicious:

Thats not cool. Boobs/penises are ‘bad’ for little kids, but nightmarish spiders and demons and such are fine? And are the SPORE creators ‘shocked’ at sporn? ‘Shocked’ that people have been drawing penises and boobs forever?? If this is really such an issue for EA (and I doubt sporn will go away on its own), an easy fix would be to ask creators to rate their monsters as ‘mature’. Sure some people are jerks and wont tag their suggestive monsters on their own, but I want to have the ability to set off a war between penises and boobs if I want.


A fast way to get on ERVs bad side is censorship, EA…


  1. #1 Stacy S.
    June 20, 2008

    I’m sorry, but the pink lemur thingys were waaaayy funnier than the giant penis. I laughed so hard that my son came in to find out what was wrong … I don’t give a crap tho – too funny!

  2. #2 Stacy S.
    June 20, 2008

    P.S. Thanks for posting the link! 🙂

  3. #3 Justin T.
    June 20, 2008

    I’m not sure that you could technically call this one sporn, but damn, is it funny.

  4. #4 Aaron
    June 20, 2008

    More importantly — how can you possibly view sporn as illicit or inappropriate? (1) they’re cartoons — and (2) it’s not exactly “sensual” — I can’t imagine even the horniest of 14-year old boys rubbing one out to the boobalicious quadruped or the bonobos-in-coitus organism.

    It’s about as wrong as drawing a pair of tits on a picture of betsy ross.

  5. #5 Will K.
    June 20, 2008

    Of all the ridiculous creatures I’ve seen, HOOFCOCK has come closest to rupturing my laugh-gland:

  6. #6 Colin M
    June 21, 2008

    There are a bunch of goatse creatures! Aaaaaagh my eyes!

  7. #7 ERV
    June 21, 2008

    This one isnt sporn, but its still good.

  8. #8 Joshua Zelinsky
    June 21, 2008

    As a practical matter I doubt they’ll have the resources to police all the Spore creations once the game becomes popular.

  9. #9 Paul Lundgren
    June 21, 2008

    Abbie, I thought the giant penis dancing was a lot funnier than when it was cowering. But yeah, how did EA not see this coming?

  10. #10 Stacy S.
    June 21, 2008

    “But yeah, how did EA not see this coming?”

    I didn’t see anyone coming! 😉

    (feel free to delete!)

  11. #11 Joshua
    June 21, 2008

    And I am shocked, shocked, to find that there is gambling going on in this establishment!

    (He says, from The Amazing Meeting in Las Vegas…)

  12. #12 Paul Lundgren
    July 1, 2008

    @ Stacy S.:


    If you could have made a MORE obvious pun, I can’t think of it. And yet it still made me groan out loud. I must be losing my touch (now, now…)

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